Too fat

[velvetdreams]

well said. True @Girltalker2

[maiandra]

To TS, NEVER apologize for being fat. Don't be sorry that your husband has to "put up" with you in the dark. Unang una, hindi ka naman nya pinakasalan para sa katawan mo lang, pero dahil sa pagkatao mo. Yung ganung lalaki, obviously, lumalabas na yung totoong pagkatao na katawan lang pala ang habol. Ano ba talagang fear mo? Na iwanan ka dahil mataba ka?

Sa tingin mo ba sis, pag perfect na ang katawan mo at super flawless ka, hindi pa rin magagawa manloko? Kahit maganda ka pa at sexy wife, kung ang lalaki gusto magloko, magloloko yan.

Don't do this because of how your husband views you. Itama mo muna yung tingin mo sa sarili mo, na matalino ka, you deserve respect and dignity, at mabuti kang asawa kaya di ka dapat matakot sa mga ganong comment. At least ikaw, chubby lang, pero ang masamang ugali ng asawa mo mas mahirap baguhin. He will not change unless you change how you see yourself.

[skela96c]

TS, siguro iniisip ng asawa mo tanggap mo na yun kasi you can talk about your weight issues. so he made a joke (albeit insensitive one) na hindi talaga pinag isipan.  Hindi nya naisip na you were actually asking for his reassurance that he still loves you regardless of physical appearance.

it's ok to feel bad, I guess. kung ako din, masasaktan ako. BUT, hindi kasi ako mapapakali until we talk about it.  Papalamig siguro ko ng mga 2days just to get my balance back.  Pero kailangan kong maipaalam sa kanya na hindi ko nagustuhan ang hirit nya and that i will need his support to help me get back on track.

a recent incident happened to us na medyo similar. I'm 7mos preggo, natural may mga pagbabago sa katawan ko, na kahit ako, bilang first time mom, hindi ko din naiintindihan. one night, hiniritan ako ng "hala, umiitim kili kili mo".  I was like,  sa dinami dami ng pinagdadaanan ko, yan talaga ang concern mo no?  na asar talaga ko ng bigtime. napansin din naman nya kasi mga 2days akong tahimik.

When i have processed everything internally, i talked to him.  Sinabi ko na that comment made me feel na may kulang pa sa akin at sa ginagawa ko. i explained how it made me feel. Aside from dealing with GDM (na nagtuturok ako 3x a day), i also have to constantly put oil kesehodang mainit to avoid stretchmarks, i have to deal with comments like "ang laki ng ilong mo!".  From others i can take that, pero sa kanya, hindi.  He said he's really sorry.  So ok na yun. Ü
 

[super bratinella]

Sis, baka nga nag joke lang siya dapat hindi mo tinigil ang conversation at nag ask ka muna ng mga questions, to avoid na mag isip ka ng kung ano ano,  like you should have answer back in a jokingly manner since siya nag simula na mag joke dapat sinakyan mo na to probe things here so in this case you will not sound being offended at the same time malalaman mo talaga kung joke lang.

[tomatostellar]

TS I hope you find the motivation/advice you were looking for. 
Alam mo ba, swerte mo, yung ibang kilala ko na obese/overweight, nagsstruggle sila sa pag conceive. Ikaw you're already blessed with 2! Don't forget din to count your blessings.
Naniniwala ako na pwede mo ma-achieve ang weightloss if you really work hard on it.
Check out #BBGMums sa Instagram. These are mothers na nagworkout and you'd see mas naging healthy sila.

[hypergalactix13]

i think it's generic naman that women are really self-conscious when it comes to their physical appearance. nagkaron tayo ng standard kasi na pretty women are skinny, flawless, etc. and of course yun ang gusto nating ma-achieve para masabi nating "maganda" or "sexy" tayo.

well, depende naman yun sa tumitingin diba? start with yourself. when you look at your reflection in the mirror, what do you see? how do you feel?

[SnowBall]

I guess I should be thankful na nung ligawan ako ng husband ko eh mataba na talaga ako, then when he asked me to marry him eh talagang ang taba taba ko. Kaya bago kami kinasal, binibiro siya ng mommy ko na "oh, ginusto mong asawahin ang anak ko kahit mataba, eh baka naman ipagpapalit mo lang sa sexy eh humanda ka sa akin". LOL

Noong dalaga ako, mga 220 lbs. ako, then nung nagkaanak kami ng dalawa, naging 240 lbs. ako, kaso dahil tumatanda na din ako (I am 35), I decided na magbawas ng kain especially sa rice).

So now, I am down to 183 lbs., mataba pa din pero considering my previous weight eh talagang pumayat na ako ng lagay na to. Haha

Dati, nakakapag joke din ang husband ko sa akin na medyo nasasaktan ako, pero after 12 years of being married, nasanay na din ako ibalik yung joke, like ganito:

Husband: Nay, ang lakas mo kumain, ang taba taba mo na!

Me: sus, pagkatapos kitang bigyan ng dalawang magagandang mga anak!!

Tapos magtatawanan kami hahaha.


Tama ang mga sis natin, dapat ikaw mismo eh masaya sa katawan mo, bago ka mag expect sa iba.

Saka, ang lalaki naman kung talagang mahal ka at loyal sayo eh wala sa katawan yan sis.. Naku tignan mo na nga lang si Sunshine Cruz, ang sexy sexy eh iniwan pa din ni Cesar Montano at pinagpalit sa iba.

Bawiin mo na lang sa ibang bagay sis, like sweet and caring wife ka, kahit mataba, oh diba.

[antithesisofbarbie]

wala naman masama kung mataba... or payat or maganda or pangit..
nasa relationship naman yan ng mag asawa... kung magkaroon ng offensive na side comment si hubby daganan mo siya (joke lang!) pero seriously sis if you really want to be thin then siguro you really need to work out. BUT do it for yourself and not for your hubby.

always do it for yourself. hindi ko sinabi na maging selfish tayo ah.. don't get me wrong.

[aquacharly]

Once upon a long time ago, my husband was a serial philanderer.
Now, I never ever got to weigh over 90 lbs when I was single.
130 lbs max when pregnant; back to less than 100 lbs in 2 months (earlier Siguro  if Hindi ako C/S)

When I could not overlook his serial philandering anymore --  I "ate" my negative emotions.  So I thought, as I hit 120 lbs (I am 5'3" only)
It went deeper pala than "eating my emotions"
Becoming chubby was my reinforcement -- to keep me from doing tit for tat and not cheating on him too.
Kahit na men continued to flirt --  I didn't level up the flirting nor friendship to something else -- coz I was insecure about how my body looked.  In short, the added weight kept me from cheating on him. Weird, but that is how it all connected in my psyche.

Now that we have settled down & he is into continuing Remorse & Reform --  I can't go back after 3 kids to 90 lbs; close to 105.  I am trying to hit 100.  But! eto ha -- he has made it a campaign to make me eat more!  Ka grrrr. 

Yes, Lose weight!  Good for your health & self esteem.  Do not do it for your husband, do it for yourself.
Start small.  Cut out soda or sweets.  After a month, Kahit na 1 lb Lang nawala -- start an exercise program.  Even if it is just standing while watching tv.  Sit less, stand more. Then, you will be able to do more months later -- build up to it, gradually.   Do not start big & thereby set yourself up for failure.  Kaya mo yan!!!

[Missus O]

@TS -hi sis most of our sis here have already given valid advises. Here's my 2pence worth. ☺  First, maybe talagang nagjojoke lang ang hubby mo. It might not be a good joke for you, but in his mind since  you are aware na may kabigatan ka, iniisip nya na tanggap mo ang pagiging mataba mo (I apologize for being blunt here). 

Second, is acceptance. You are aware of it and yet it hurts if someone makes a joke out of it. So here lies the problem. Yes its true, your relationship isn't built on looks alone. And yet, with a simple tease, sumasama ang loob mo. This is normal of course for a woman, as women generally, do value their looks. Kahit gaano man kasakit isipin, you do have a problem with weight. And there will come a time na other people (sometimes even your husband) will make a joke about it. So what to do? Maybe it should also be a wakeup call for you to consider a lifestyle change.  And this doesn't just include diet and exercise. Walang saysay ang diet and exercise if you'll just exercise an hour 2-3x aweek and diet for a couple of months then go back to the old ways. You can try eliminating soda and sweets from your diet. Then start a daily exercise program, and eating clean. Instead of taking the lift, take the stairs instead kahit 4 floors pa yan. Also no junk foods, no fastfood. This is not only a good practice for you but also for your kids as well.  Of course hindi ito madali. It takes a couple of months before one  could actually see any real changes to the body. Have a goal. Lifestyle change doesn't mean skinny. This means going  to a healthy weight wherein you can do activities that will make you enjoy your life with the family without feeling self concious about it. Remember sis, health is wealth ..

  And last sis, try to develop a thicker hide. If your hubby teases you again about your weight, try teasing him back- "ganun- o sige pahingi ng pang gym membership"; "ganun- so meaning hindi mo na ako love pag naka lights on?? " then talk with him, ikaw talaga binibiro mo weight ko. That hurts you know. Gusto mo daganan kita para alam mo feelings ko? hehe. 

By the way, it doesn't matter if you are overweight, what's important is that you love your body no matter what weight you are in, and that you should be healthy. Try to develop confidence in yourself sis. Nothing is more sexier to a man  than a woman oozing with confidence and personality.   

Haba na nito,just to share, my hubby is the one struggling with weight. I often encourage him to go to the gym. Sometimes he goes, sometimes no. I'm in my mid thirties, and I gained like 20 lbs. Since last year. And I guess because of the hormonal change, bumagal na yung metabolism ko. So what I did, I've enrolled in a yoga class. Pag may yoga ako, nag gygym si hubby. So it's not just for me, but also for my hubby. We may not be in our ideal weight, but we are healthy. Good luck sis. 😄

[Chantal89]

TS, joke lang ng husband mo yun   Lights on or off, he could still feel you diba?  So joke lang yun

Like what they said, acceptance is key.  Do you still want to lose weight?  They always encourage Christian wives to be at their best kasi wala na daw ibang choice husbands natin kung hindi tayo.  Again, this is a joke na half meant din siguro nung speaker.  May mga pastor's wives naman na hindi payat pero kung ganun ka na from the start, accepted narin siguro un ng husband mo.  If you were thin and you just gained weight now, maybe that would be a different issue.  I hope you can find happiness in whatever size you're in.

[hedonista]

Hi sis, I hope you are doing okay now. I, too, have the same problem 3 years ago. I did not know that I was emotional eating and upon educating myself until now, I understood that disordered eating and eating disorder are two different things. And unless you love yourself more, others will not do the same. I heard worse from my husband when he had several other women who can wear stilettos. and I was there crying while trying to swallow a spoonful of rice with sinigang and shrimp. he would tell me "go! kanin pa. para tumaba ka lalo." " balyena" "butandig"
I cried.
But I regained my confidence. Turn to books. Turn to God, look and live for me and my child and eventually he never left and he find remorse in everything he did and he said 3 years ago. Now, I never made losing weight to look good for him. But I do it because I want to be healthy. and live longer.
I loved my self and so he loved me more and no more snide remarks.

Cheer up. life's good. even better with one slice of chocolate cake!

[Evolet027]

I think joke lang yun. My husband is just like your husband. Sometimes he will tell me Im still fat kahit na puro exercise ako. It is his way to motivate me to push pa. Eh di eto, oks na. sya naman ang mataba kesa saken. :p

[Alorain]

Natakot naman ako sis. I'm preganant now currently less than 100 pounds pero sabi ng mom ko she never lost her pregnancy weight. How true is this?

[hedonista]

Sis Alorain

OT pero i'll shed some light. There is possibility you will lose or gain post pregnancy. go to a doctor after sometimes weight is hormonal. me, I am researching about cortisol diet connection. sometime water retention lang. there were lucky women who go back to their pre pregnancy weight. really depends.
I for one did not go back.
accept na ni hubby im chubby

he never calls me taba or balyena or butandig na. he is now bigger than I am. sarap ako mag luto. so there. para di OT haaha