staying at my boyfriend's place on weekends - mom disapproves

[biach_21]

Hello everyone! What's your opinion on this? Anyone here who has the same setup? What does your parents say about this?

I asked bec me and my mom would argue on this every weekend na lang. I'm already 33 but I still live with my family and my bf does the same too. We came up with this setup that I stay with him on weekends to save time traveling and to make the most of our time together. He is from Laguna while me from Manila pa and that's the only time for us to see each other.

I need your input guys. May mali ba on may part or something? Please enlighten me. Thanks.

[chicafabulosa]

You are old enough sis BUT.....

Since you live with your parents, you have to follow their rules. If you can't, then move out. There is no age limit when it comes following your parents rules if you are still living under their roof. If you don't want to be dictated on what to do, at your age maybe you should move out.

Remember this saying

"My house, MY rules".

[simang]

Have to side with sis chicafabulosa, as long you're under your parent's roof, then you have to respect their rules.

[biach_21]

thanks for the input sisses. I can actually get my own place but my mom does not work anymore and I only got her and another sibling in the house so I just can't leave them alone. btw for some reason, bf cannot visit me in the house as my mom just doesn't want to

[chelgeneroso]

Hi TS.
Kung ako ang nasa situation mo, sasabihin sa akin ng Nanay ko, "immoral" kasi hindi kayo kasal. ang tawag ko sa Nanay ko ay matanda sa una, kasi makaluma. hindi nya matanggap ang bagong henerasyon at ayaw nya sa liberated. Kaya parati kaming may debate kapag may nakita sya o nabasa sya na salungat sa kinalakihan nya.

Ganito din ba Nanay mo?

[momentum]

^^ have you tried talking to your mom heart to heart why she doesn't like your bf?
you know, sometimes (if not oftentimes) mothers see what we cannot see, and would want to protect us from potentially ruining our life by staying with the partner we chose.

I suggest to talk to her calmly and try to keep an open mind.
maybe your bf needs to exert more effort in trying to get the "blessing" of your mom for being your bf.
maybe he gave a bad first impression to her kaya ganun nalang mom mo. try to find out what is making her feel that way. I know your of age na but our parents know best and I'm sure she just wants to protect you.

[TomHansen]

You're too old na para pagbawalan biach. Yes tama si momentum did you asked your mom bakit ayaw niya sa bf mo? Matagal na ba kayo ni bf baka naman bago pa lang kayo. Post some pics na masaya kayo ni bf kapag magkasama kayo(outside) para makita niya rin. Try mo rin na gawing hindi every weekend nasa laguna ka, gawin niyong alternate - next week padalawin mo naman siya sa inyo.

Yung problem sa pagvisit niya sa inyo pwedeng gawin mo is magpasundo ka kay bf ng mas maaga para habang nag-aayos ka nandun lang siya sa sala at nakikita ni mom mo. Try mo ring gawing close si sibling mo kay bf para makita ni mom mo na likeable siya.

[simang]

maybe it's your boyfriend that's the problem, and not really the sleepovers? why doesn't she like your boyfriend?

[chicafabulosa]

Well I agree with sis Simang. Maybe it is your boyfriend ang problem ng mom mo not the sleepovers. Try asking her why she doesnt like him. You know mothers can see and feel what we cant see when were in love. Btw did you have other bfs before? Ganun rin ba sya sa mga ex/exes mo before na di pwede dumalaw sa inyo? If not, maybe she sees or feel something is wrong with your bf. If all naman eh ganun sya, over protective sya sayo. And if that's the case, then either you move out or you just bear with it. You can't tell your mom that its your life kasi you are under her roof. So sa ayaw at sa gusto mo rules nila susundin mo.

[Girltalker2]

thanks for the input sisses. I can actually get my own place but my mom does not work anymore and I only got her and another sibling in the house so I just can't leave them alone. btw for some reason, bf cannot visit me in the house as my mom just doesn't want to

So it's your house but your mom's rules, ganun ba?

If your guy is for a long term relationship and serious, somehow you have to face the issue.  You have to bridge that gap between your Family and your BF. And you leaving your house on weekends does not help.

Lalo mong iwasan sila mag meet coz you think your mom doesn't like your BF, lalong lalayo ang loob nila sa isa't Isa.  Because there will come a time na you have to choose - spend more quality time with your Mom or BF (since you're at work on weekdays).

[missreese]

hehe.. very relate ako dito.. same same set.  dati gagalit si mother.. syempre nga naman ako yung babae. ako pa yung nauwi dun pero as time goes by nanawa na ata si mother. Kaya pag umaalis ako ng saturday at lalo nagabot ako ng pera na good for 2 days.. ang question na lang nya "bukas ka na uuwi?" "anong oras ka uwi bukas?" 

pero minsan nananawa din ako umuwi sa kanila pag weekend kaya sat and sun magkikita. 

minsan inaalala ko din si mother kasi sya lang at mga pamangkin ko ang kasama nya pag wala ako kaya di rin ako umuuwi kina boyfie.

[three8one]

baka naman TS ang gusto kasi mangyari ng mother mo na hindi nya lang sinasabi eh pakasalan ka na ng boyfriend mo, tapos wala ka pa siguro nababanggit sa kanya na plano ng bf mo about sa relasyon nyo. nagagalit siguro si mother kasi nga naman, hindi naman pinanganak kahapon nanay mo alam nun may nangyari o nangyayari sa inyo everytime na uuwi ka sa bf mo. wala naman sigurong matinong magulang na gugustuhin o papahintulutan ng basta na lang na, o sige magpakasaya kayo tapos pag sawa ka na o ayaw mo na sa anak ko soli mo na lang o pauwiin mo na lang uli sa akin.. mother knows best ika nga... gusto nya lang ilagay nyo sa ayos ang lahat. siguro rin isa rin sa kinakagalit ni mother mo eh nasa wastong edad na nga kayo pero yung mga kilos at isip nyo para pang sa bata na hindi pa alam ang mali at tama.

 

[purple.strawberry]

Baka sis your mom wants assurance na you have future plans with this guy (i.e., marriage) since nagtatabi na kayo matulog.

My parents are like that as well. For some reason, they let my brother stay in his gf's place during weekends and vice versa, yung gf pa nga pag natutulog sa house namin sa room din ng brother ko. But to me it's a difference case. She'll go bat crazy if magpapaalam ako so I simply give alibis pag di ako uuwi. Yeah yeah it's not a good practice. I plan to move out once nagka-increase na ko salary though.

[Girltalker2]

baka naman TS ang gusto kasi mangyari ng mother mo na hindi nya lang sinasabi eh pakasalan ka na ng boyfriend mo, tapos wala ka pa siguro nababanggit sa kanya na plano ng bf mo about sa relasyon nyo. 

Good point. TS you may be 33yo na, baka si BF eh 25yo lang?

[pretty_B]

i have to agree on "My house, MY rules. If you can't, then move out." 

my mom will definitely have the same say kung ako ang nasa kalagayan mo. and actually, personally,  ayaw ko din talaga na nagsstay sa place ni bf kapag weekends. makalumang tao din kasi ako. but then, weekends lang din talaga kasi time namin ng bf ko. so yeah, wala ako naitulong. hirap din ako magdecide kapag ganyan. haha. btw, in my case, we have our own separate place ni bf since nagbboard kami dito sa manila for work and both nasa province ang parents. -.-

[im fine!]

My POV lang.
Regardless of age parang di naman talaga proper na mag sleep over every weekend ang girl sa bahay ng guy. Of course, understood na yun na something is going on between them ke mag sleep over or not. Pero wala yatang parents na papayag ng ganun ganun lang na hayaan ang anak nila.  Anyway your 33 why not talk about plans of getting married?