Suitor Issues - Any help is welcomed

[rising_sun]

Dear fellow pexers, I have this suitor for like 3 months now, we started dating since April this year but up until this time, I never experienced him paying the whole bill during our dinner/lunch dates. We always split the bill.

I found it as a red flag but kept dating with him and thought to give him some time and benefit of the doubt but one evening i really found it so weird when we ate at jollibee and he had me queued in the line and just gave me Php 100 peso bill the worth of his order of Php 98. so i guess i'll to pay for mine then, i thought...

needless to say, i got turned off...

any help please and comments? is this man worth my time? thanks in advance for your inputs

[huggykaye]

sorry i had to say this, we're in GT not PEX... anyway, if money is such an issue, i think he doesn't deserve you... find someone else who can satisfy you in that aspect... you know exactly what to do if you do know what you want in a guy...

[TomHansen]

3 months?, I think you already gave him enough time to make you like/love him. Money shouldn't be an issue but if he's this too cheap I dont think he's ready to be in a relationship with you or with anyone - baka kapag kayo na uutangan ka na niyan..

How old is he? Does he have a job sis?

[reighnyielle]

First of all, this is not PEX sis. I understand where you're coming from kasi I would feel the same way pero it's really up to you if you're going to ditch him or not. If you can look pass through his cheapness then swerte siya pero if hindi naman then I think it's time to move on.

[chicafabulosa]

To TS: this is not PEX to begin with . As for your issue...

Three months is too long dont you think? If in the beginning or on your first date he let you foot your own bill, its a red flag. And I don think may babae na papayag na yayain ka ng date then hati tayo sa bill "all the time" unless you like him too. Kasi a gentleman would never let a woman pay her food kahit na ipilit ni girl unless you are in a relationship na with that person and may agreement kayo na minsan you will shoulder the food etc. but right now he is just courting you pa lang and medyo makapal na ang face, i dont think i would ever go out with him again kung sa first date eh pinagbayad na ako haha.

Seriously you think about it. If money is an issue, then you can now see the future if you choose to be with him... You and him always a separate payment on everything.... Now its up to you if you can live with that...

[xia.sam]

bastedin na yan. haha.
di man lang magpakitang gilas muna.

[three8one]

nalito ako dun kala ko nasa ibang forum na ko or may affiliated ng ibang forum ang FN/GT..

3 months is already too long for you to realize na this guy is not worh for your time. basic na basic, pag ang lalake nanliligaw sa babae sagot ng lalake yan. sometimes, may mga babae na di pumapayag na ilibre ni guy pag hindi pa sila. pero yung kwento mo bibigyan ka lang ng halos exact amount para sa kanya lang tapos ikaw pa pipila and mag order? wow! ha.....

sis, umpisa palang ganyan na sya, paano pag kayo na? wala na yang pinag iba sa senyorito.. kung ako nasa kalagayan mo nasampal ko pa yan ng swelas ng sandals eh.. wag pabulag sa pisikal na nakikita, pansamantala lang yan. mas importante eh yung kung pano ka nya tratuhin mula sa umpisa dahil yun ang pang matagalan.

 

[rising_sun]

thanks mga sis, i just thought of posting the same topic from PEX  apologies if this inappropriate here. (wala na kasing delete function )

hindi naman issue sa akin ang money, cheap or not, i don't mind naman na hindi ako ilibre but its the thought that I was looking for, yung being a gentleman of a person or his chivalry na tinatawag sana being a guy per se and nanliligaw palang.. but in other aspects naman he doesn't treat me bad naman and he is mabait naman, yun lang mababa talaga kasi sahod nya and he is 35 yrs old na

[evilwoman]

Ang mga red flag na pinapalampas mo habang di pa kayo kasal (in your case nanliligaw pa lang, wala man lang pakitang gilas??) magiging bright neon sign na hahampas sa mukha mo pag  magasawa na kayo. ditch him.sayang ang time sa ganyang lalaki.

[TomHansen]

@rising_sun, ok pala hindi issue sayo yung money good for him..
The issue of him not being a gentleman is a very big indicator kung ano ang future mo sa kanya. You like him na siguro kasi sa tagal niyang ganyan hindi mo pa rin binabasted - you're probably seeing something in him na di namin alam. He's still courting you right now and he's probably doing his best and if his best is enough for you then walang problema sis if maging kayo...

You like him na ba? because if you do maybe you can tell him your worries - if he really likes you magbabago siya for the better..

Let us know kung ano mangyari rising_sun, hope you get what you really want..

[j.adore]

It's normally an expectation for a man to provide for the woman so for dates during courtship, girls make the guy foot the bill.

My husband also had low salary when we started dating but he took on sidelines so he can have date funds. I started giving my share when we were well into the relationship because I wanted him to retire from those sidelines already.

Pag gusto, may paraan. If at the phase it's already like this, then what more if kayo na o kung ikasal kayo? He's ok, yes that's good but if he can't "provide" for the both of you, your relationship with him may not be for the long term. Why bother kung ganun?

Question din pala, why mababa sweldo at 35? Hindi naman sa minamata pero settling down age na rin yan for him. He should be ready financially.

[chicafabulosa]

hindi naman issue sa akin ang money, cheap or not, i don't mind naman na hindi ako ilibre but its the thought that I was looking for, yung being a gentleman of a person or his chivalry na tinatawag sana being a guy per se and nanliligaw palang.. but in other aspects naman he doesn't treat me bad naman and he is mabait naman, yun lang mababa talaga kasi sahod nya and he is 35 yrs old na

Sis if di issue sayo yan eh di go ka. Pero eto lang ha, friendly advice di totoo ang kasabihan na "love will keep us alive"...

Money is still a big aspect for a relationship to work out. Kasi now di issue yan but eventually magiging issue rin yan lalo na if kayo ang maging magkatuluyan. Gusto mo ba yung guy na nanliligaw pa lang di ka na kayang i provide kahit Jollibee man lang di nya mashoulder na ilibre ka. In the first place bakit sya nanliligaw kung wala naman pala syang pera to even shoulder a Jollibee. Sorry ha, eventually pag kayo naging mag bf nya for sure uutangan ka pa nyan.

Wake up! Not worth it mga ganyan na guy.

[AVIDGOLFER]

GuyTalker here

Pleaseee wag naman maging judgemental at husgahan ang tao baka naman kasi nag iipon lang siya para sa kinabukasan nyo...Nakzzzzz LoL

Malay nyo nag titipid lang siya dahil yon lang ang budget nya at saka dahil gusto nya nga si Girl kahit papano nag ko contribute siya sa foods. LoL

[karla1o]

big NO.

At first, I thought he's a newly grad or just in his first year of working. At the age of 35, I believe, one should already have enough savings. Based on the guys I have met before, 30-35 is the perfect range for them to settle down, so just imagine if this guy couldn't even treat you for a few peso, how can he even support his wife-to-be?

I strongly believe on the saying "Hindi mo kasalanang ipinanganak ka nang mahirap, pero kasalanan mo nang mamatay ka ng mahirap pa rin."

(But yeah, i don't know the whole story, baka kuripot lang siya and he has more than 5-digit bank account and will only reveal it to you the moment you say "yes" :p )

[argento]

mas ok nga KKB. nasanay kasi kayo sa libre 

tsaka di pa naman kayo eh.

[hisana]

hindi naman issue sa akin ang money, cheap or not, i don't mind naman na hindi ako ilibre but its the thought that I was looking for, yung being a gentleman of a person or his chivalry na tinatawag sana being a guy per se and nanliligaw palang.. but in other aspects naman he doesn't treat me bad naman and he is mabait naman, yun lang mababa talaga kasi sahod nya and he is 35 yrs old na

Sorry, but I just have to say, medyo naguguluhan ako. You say money is not an issue, yet your first post is all about him not spending money on you. He treats you well overall and he's a nice person or a gentleman in other ways, but if he's kuripot on dates, deal breaker na ito para sa iyo. So, money is a major factor, seems like it.

Anyway, I think if this is already really bothering you early on, might as well not continue it. Malaking factor talaga sa isang relationship ang financial compatibility.

[SarSi_Em]

sis, first time lang ba to nangyari? or lagi na lang pag lalabas kayo? baka naubusan na sya, 3 mos na nanliligaw e 

may guy friend ako, kapag nanliligaw siya ang gumagastos, kapag naging sila na, hati na sila ng gf nya lalo na weekly nasa gala sila.
un isa kong guyfriend, iniwanan nya gf nya dahil sa ganitong isyu, na lagi na lang sya ang gumagastos, at nakikita nya na mukhang pera lang ang trip sa kanya. kaya now, hinahanap nya babae yun pwede ka dutch date hehe.

[three8one]

TS, type mo yan si guy... wag mo na lokohin saril mo na kesyo may pa chivalry ka pang sinasabi....hindi isyu ang edad at estado sa buhay para kumilos at umakto ng tama. kung tanggap mo naman pala yung galawan nya eh, wala akong nakikitang problema para masabi mong may issue ka sa manliligaw mo. hehe! good luck sayo TS sa tatahakin mong relasyon.

 

[Girltalker2]

I think problem ni TS if she drop this guy, wala na syang ka-date/suitor?

TS you can always look for the right guy.  Right now, sinasayang mo lang oras/effort/money mo to someone na you cannot be with.  If he cannot spend for you, what more if magkaron kayo ng family or magstay kayo together?  Baka gawin ka nyang sugar mommy.

I have dated guys who are not rich.  And one does not have to be rich to go out on dates.  Pero I can see that they pay and willing to splurge on you once in a while.  Syempre, as a girl, I also play my part by returning the favor since ayaw ko naman isipin palamunin din ako.

In any case, this should go two ways kasi.  That is, if both are sincere and willing to risk dating and getting to know each other.

[[-c-h-a-]]

rising_sun, kung bothered ka (and you are because you said turn off), ditch him. Never settle. If this is something you cannot stomach, stop dating the guy.

Kung di naman to deal breaker, you wouldn't have posted here (pati sa PEX)... the fact that you did, well... says a lot!