Church rule: No custom vows

[berryprincessy]

^ buti pa kayo sis pumayag yung church niyo na sabihin niyo yung personal message niyo. kami ayaw pumayag talaga.

[caleeice]

Saan church ka sis? Minsan it also depends on the officiating priest. Maybe you can also explore that option.

We brought in our priests who were our family friends. They allowed us naman. Although allowed din naman talaga sa church namin

[berryprincessy]

^ sa Shrine of Jesus kami sis. Yes, we already opted for bringing our own Priest. They agree if we bring our Officiating Priest but still they wont allow us to have our personal vows during ceremony. Medyo mahigpit yata talaga ang Shrine of Jesus. Siguro gawin ko na lang after ceremony. Okay lang kaya yun sis?

[bonzaigirl]

^hi sis what about reading your personal message to your hubby during the reception or have it included in your SDE? Although the only downside to it having your message just in the SDE is that you'll have to keep it shorter. Otherwise your whole SDE will just be your vows to each other or it will just be snippets of your message.

[berryprincessy]

^ hi sis bonzaigirl oo nga eh siguro ganun na lang. kahit i-cut na lang ng photog namin yung mga vows during SDE. thanks sa tip sis.

[belle_v2g]

Sharing : http://www.mb.com.ph/cbcp-wedding-vows-are-not-allowed-to-be-recited-during-the-wedding-liturgy/

Saw this news few days ago and to be honest, I'd still prefer to have my personal vow at the church rather than in reception because I consider that as a promise made in front of God. I'm a non catholic by the way so this doesn't really affect us but I know a lot of friends (brides) who are keen to do this on their weddings.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

[marchbridetobe]

I think matagal ng issue to. I'm actually not into personal "vows" din naman na yung tipong "I promise/vow to like this and that". Pero more of a personal "message" sana, parang thank you message sa partner ganun.. And mas feel ko din na sabihin yun sa church kesa sa reception kasi iba na yung vibe dun eh, dapat happy happy na. hehe.

[ANJFinally]

I am saddened by this sis. Thank you for sharing!

We'll be having our wedding on Q4. Father Allen of Caleruega always says that the personal vows made by the couples are not merely vows. They don't call it wedding vows but personal MESSAGES instead, kaya they allow it.

I hope it's not a rule for all the Catholic Churches. Na sad naman ako. 

[belle_v2g]

Sis marchbridetobe, kaya siguro some churches stick to that ruling kase yun talaga sila eversince. Or ayun nga, depende sa priest and according to this article, yung priest hindi dapat papayag sa ganon. Tama ka, iba na vibe sa reception.

[Tubby]

WOW!

I read the article and he has a point. The entire mass is the "Word of God" and should remain sacred and all that. BUT reciting the vows in church, in the house of God, and in the mass makes it more legit and authentic. Hoping that they would at least allow the vows after the mass or after the 'you may know kiss the bride'. That's technically outside the mass. 

Receptions are okay but it's more for fun and excitement than for vows. Happy that our priest allowed us to recite our vows during the mass. 

[rowan]

Me too. Ive always wanted to only say the prescribed vows of the church:) both of us are kinda shy, especially my fiance who is an introvert in the truest sense. also, this is one part of our wedding that i would like to be traditional with.

actually i was worrying that our priest might ask us to do an impromptu personal vow speech. this happened to my friend and her now hubby and omg we felt their pain! i guess they werent able to tell the priest beforehand that they wont prepare any personal vows.

[InquisitorLavellan]

This infuriates me, especially since I've always seen nothing wrong with personal vows (it's just like personal prayer versus a memorized one for me). Attended Methodist ceremonies and a Baptist ceremony as well and all the couple's personal vows were really heartfelt and didn't feel like they were taking the focus away from their beliefs.

But to be honest, this was exactly why I wanted a civil ceremony in the first place (too late to back out of it now)

[belle_v2g]

InquisitorLavellan, your comment is just exactly what my husband said earlier when I asked for his opinion about this. The wedding ceremony originally doesn't really have a pattern {if we are going to base it from the marriage of adam & eve and what the bible says}. And now, it's like they dictate what you need to say instead of voicing out what you have in heart, which is totally similar to memorizing the prayers instead of composing your own personal devotion. Although I have to say, some vows I heard are so 'inappropriate' and better off kept as personal talaga.

[jamie143]

Aw! nung dec 31, 2015 lang eto napost.. true kaya talaga eto mga sis?

[janagirl]

I don't want to be KJ hehe but I agree with this one. Although personal vows are a nice touch and to each his own. But for me kasi the most perfect vows are the ones prescribed by the sacrament. Nothing beats... "for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do us part." Personal vows are allowed in the church I am getting married in but we are omitting them because it isn't in our personality to do personal vows.

Agree Sis. That part of the ceremony (for richer and for poorer...) and the "I do's" yan ang must have ko sa SDE, malulungkot talaga ko pag hindi naisama ng video team ko. haha

[InquisitorLavellan]

When I inquired in MTQ church last year (2015, haha), they gave me a leaflet with instructions that specifically said, personal vows may be said but must be done after the church vows and must be kept wholesome. Sadly I threw out the paper because we've opted in getting Immaculate Concepcion instead.

Methodist weddings pretty much have the same church ceremony (they even have the veil, cord and candle) and they also did the same thing as Catholic ceremonies minus the sign of the cross. I haven't heard inappropriate vows in my lifetime yet but I wish that they'd simply remind couples to make it appropriate for the church instead of outright banning them.

Personal vows are what really make me tear up in church, aside from the bridal march, of course

In any case, how do couples incorporate their vows in the reception, if it's not allowed? A cousin of mine did it in theirs and it was awkwardly placed in between their first dance and opening of the buffet. Gutom kami masyado to care about the vows, sayang

[grrrlscout]

My fiance and I was really sad when we read this earlier. It's one of the things we were really looking forward to do, as we are both writers and express ourself very well through it. Lalo na ko, I'm not comfortable to be very vocal sa feelings ko and I wanted to do it while we were getting married kasi I believed it's the most fitting and most appropriate time to do so in front of everyone we love. I also believe that messages or vows that came from yourself are more personal and more heartfelt that something you memorized, but that's probably just me, dahil nga sa writer naman kami. Other people might feel more comfortable with the standard verse, which is ok lang naman. Pero sana may choice pa din yung couple. Para hindi naman parang robot na kung ano lang yung andun, yun na.

[bzbee]

we weren't planning on having personal vows before kahit na allowed siya sa church namin. but after DW, si h2b na mismo nagsabi na he's willing to write vows, na practice ang pagsulat namin ng feelings sa seminar na yun and we became more confident in sharing our cheesyness. lol. too bad hindi na pala pwede ngayon, oh well.

[120515]

aaawwww! this is sad for those couples who may want to have special vows for each other. but i do agree with sis chili1113 that the standard vows of the Catholic Church is very beautiful and has stood the test of time and is already complete and perfect.

we didn't have personal vows but we wrote letters to each other and read them right before we went to church - just us and the p/v teams - so it felt very personal and heartfelt. we did it in one of the corners of the hotel so that we don't see each other.

we already had our chance to say personal vows to each other during our solemnization ceremony so we felt that it will be a bit redundant to do them again in our church wedding.

[KNG05]

Hi mga sis, I just saw this. Maybe this is a reminder and baka they will strictly implement it na.

http://www.mb.com.ph/cbcp-wedding-vows-are-not-allowed-to-be-recited-during-the-wedding-liturgy/