Babymaker

[ajcruz]

Hi sis TS if I may, reading this from page 1 mukang andito na lahat, I agree like sis Chili1113 and leelou said
 
1 Your marriage need help and it's about time your in-laws will be involved, plan meeting them asap.
Maging OK man kayo now o hindi, I suggest to have heart to heart talk to them, kung sino pinaka-close mo sa kanila then another talk with him/her with another family member or the rest.

2 Agree din ako sa suggestion na iwork out at pag-ipunan ang IVF or another way medically, maraming informative na same topic dito sa GT (suggested OBs, clinics, etc)

 Sana maisip ito ni hubby mo:
option1: hubby's plan 150k -> payment sa girl sabi ng hubby mo,
                   + andaming ++++++ nito we never know what she will demand
                   + the big SIN 
                   + emotional torture whatever you call that (di mababayaran ang peace of mind tuwing maaalala mo in  case may bata ng involve)
              ---------> TOTAL ?
option 2: IVF or similar procedure 200k sabi ng isang sis
              ---------> TOTAL ?

3 Sis if you're both willing to work things out since you are still together now. Pede mo isulat lahat ng naiisip mo at intently ipabasa mo sa hubby mo para mapag-isipan din nya at matauhan to know your side, in this way di nya maiisip na you are nagging kc iba [textspeak!] approch;)

It's not too late sis babykat, I have a close friend na natanggalan ng 2 myoma (scary big that it grow it's own hair and teeth!) per after her operation di nagtagal ngcoceive cya and have a toddler now!;). Another one with myoma rin but they have a 10 yr old now;)
A family friend naman had 1 of her ovary removed, but had 2 boys magkasunod;)

I remember a story from the bible si Sara at Abraham, had a child with their slave Hagar named Ishmael (wife's idea!) outcome is not good and we can learn lesson. We all know the story God gave them Isaac;)
Just want to chear you up somehow, have faith sis God answers prayers.

[lordknight_aiz.18]

Kumusta ka na sis ts?

[120515]

just to add to ajcruz's positive stories of conception: my mama also had an ovary surgically removed and she still conceived 3 children after - myself and my 2 brothers.
so you see, there are other ways. aside from ivf, there is also surrogacy, wherein the baby will be from your egg and your husband's sperm but just carried by someone else.
hugs to you, babykat, and i hope you find a peaceful resolution soon.

[Jean_dL]

When I first came to this post, I thought, very similar siya dun sa napanuod ko sa "Maalaala mo Kaya" recently.

Everything has been said, and I could not agree more with the people above. All I could wish and pray for you is for you to have a peace of mind and soul, and for your husband to have enlightenment from all the things he's putting you through.

May God bless your marriage.

[coolhair]

Mahirap yan sis, pano nga kung di lang baby ang habol ni husband? Sorry ah. Pero bakit bar girl pa? Alam ko sa mga bar girl magaling sila sa kama. Pero pano kung iba na pala habol ni husband? Pano kung nabuntis nga? Aalagaan niyo pa yan. Less time and attention na yan from husband. Pag isipan niyo ng mabuti. Kasi hindi sa lahat ng madaling paraan e walang kapalit na mahirap.

[hyder0926]

Can you live thru the following?

1. sexual infidelity
2. emotional abuse
3. economic abuse - having to pay for the needs of the bar girl etc.
4. the bar girl will still be the biological mom of that child you will adopt to make your husband have
the family he wants or desires.. they will have a living breathing bond or excuse to be together or whatever..

if the Answer is Yes and by all means go through with it.. if your answer is NO then get the hell out of that marriage and start a new life.

[j.adore]

TS, I backread some of your posts and I think this is just a symptom of other problems..

It's a big deal to bring a child into this world. Stability in emotional, financial, spiritual, etc. aspects are important foundations for raising a person.

As they said, a relationship needs the commitment of both persons. If you have tried everything and yet your husband refuses to cooperate, perhaps it is time to move on? Do not be discouraged trying to hold on to the past (8 years of being together) kasi mas importante yung ngayon at yung future.

I hope you and your husband can work it all out together..

[Priceless]

To TS, I have to apologize beforehand for sounding too harsh and blunt. But before you even think of pursuing your dream of having a child with this man that unfortunately, you're married to, please think about it very carefully. He doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer (if you know what I mean), and you mentioning about him having half baked plans, is just one example. These are not good DNA traits to possibly pass on to a child. I mean, para lang syang nagpapaalam na lalabas para mag laro ng basketball sa kanto, with a matching "buti nga nagpapaalam eh"... Sarap sapukin.

As J.Adore says, it seems that you two have deep rooted issues sa married life ninyo, and this particular one is just the easiest one to make an excuse out of para tapusin na ang relationship. I mean, if there was one particular reason to point out and choose na wala kang magiging laban (at ikaw pa ang magiging may kasalanan) this would be it.

Run a mile from person that looks for your wounds and instead of healing them, tries to rub more salt in.

[beluy]

Never in my life! I can't deal with this!

[SarSi_Em]

tunay naman talaga napakahirap ng pinag dadaanan ni sis babykat

kapag may award na super stressful wife, sis, ikaw na ang panalo.

grabe d ko kaya yan. kaya hanga ko sayo sis, nakakaya mo pa, andyan ka pa rin

hoping maayos na problems nyo.

[dara_01]

Kumusta ka na sis ts?

^oo nga sis, how are you?  you can release everything here para kahit papaano makatulong makaluwag ng pakiramdam.  lahat kami hindi agree sa preposition ng hubby mo, pero we would like to know how are you feeling.

[maiandra]

Sis, do not for a second think that you have no options. You have an option to:
1. Enjoy marriage even without children.
2. Have a say in your marriage. Your husband is a manipulator who tries to make the wrong thing right, and even blames you for your weakness. There are many ways our sis here is gt are sugessting how to have s child artificially.
3. Leave him.

Sis, wag mo patagalin. Make up your mind na YOU WILL choose to be respected and valued for who you are. Not for what you can give him

[dara_01]

^sis, i love your parting words: "Make up your mind na YOU WILL choose to be respected and valued for who you are. Not for what you can give him."

[izabelle]

Ayoko sana husgahan ang asawa mo, pero sa ginagawa nya sayo, parang hindi ka nya tunay na mahal at mas lalo na wala syang respeto sayo.

TS, Mas gugustuhin ko na yata maging mag isa kesa may kasama nga sa buhay pero kasing sama ng asawa mo, I'm sorry for my words, pero grabe emotional torture na ginagawa nya sayo.

[carlatetangco]

How are you sis?

Its good that you are talking about your feelings, but honestly, we can just talk and talk about how wrong your situation sounds being far away from it.  Personally, I can only imagine your emotions and I'm hurting already.  I really pray that you find peace in whatever decision you will/have make.

God Bless.

[handlewithcare]

He thinks that, since he's being open to me about everything, that should make it ok and I should be able to accept it. 

Nagagalit sya bakit nadedepress pa din ako kahit na he's being very honest to me about it. 

Sabi nya this morning, I want to be happy daw ulit pero I'm the one choosing not to be happy. 

Pag madami ako sinasabi, sasabihin nya ang nega ko magisip.  Ganun kasi sya, minsan plano sya ng plano, pero di plantsado detalye.

He makes it out to be about trust.  and how nakakasakal and praning and selfish ako. 

He says he loves me still but that I hurt him by not trusting him.  Di pa nga daw nya ginagawa, nagpapaalam pa lang sya, pero di ko na agad matanggap at kung ano ano daw iniisip ko.

Sis babykat, yung husband mo at ex ko parehong pareho ng ugali. Ganyang ganyan mag-reason out ex ko. Taurus ba zodiac sign ng husband mo? Hehe.

Ibang issue naman yung sa min ng ex ko pero it's about trust/respect din. Gusto nyang magtiwala ako sa kanya. Ako naman gusto ko irespeto nya ako. Long story short, I gave in sa gusto ng ex ko. It was not a good decision.

Kaya sis babykat, I suggest na wag na wag kang papayag sa gusto ng husband mo. Pag pumayag ka, marami pang kasunod na hirit yan. Mas lalo kang magiging kawawa. Let him go. Pray for wisdom and strength. God bless you sis!

Run a mile from person that looks for your wounds and instead of healing them, tries to rub more salt in.

I'll keep this in mind.

[evilwoman]

As if naman may super sperm ang asawa mo na buntis agad.for all we know e may problema din sya.i know several people na may myoma (malaki din) pero nabuntis din naman.took some time nga lang.wag mo panghinayang ang pinagsamahan nyo ng lalaking yan.mas panghinayangan mo ang taon na mabubuhay ka na tapos ganyan trato sa yo.better to be alone kesa ganyang sinasadyang pasakitin ang loob mo.pag ganyang kakitid ang utak kasi, hanggang pagtanda na yan.hindi na magbabago.

[simang]

Talk to your parents and your in laws about your husband's plan. Tell them in the most democratic way, or maybe ask your husband to tell them his plans, since wala namang mawawala, they will know eventually if it pushes through and she indeed has his baby. These are family decisions, hindi pwedeng maging close minded sya just because you're not comfortable with the setup that he wants. Hindi ko na kinoconsider dito yung partly attracted sya sa girl. You just have to consult with the whole family dahil malaking bagay ito sa inyo.

More than anything, please let him know all the health concerns that may come out of this.

[lady gwenhwyfar]

He is cheating and he's just using the baby as an excuse for cheating. Open your eyes. Men are simple. He goes to the bar because he likes the girl. Period.

Being childless doesn't mean being unhappy family. It's time we correct that in our society.

[jonahh08]

Sis babykat. Pinabasa ko sa husband ko yung story mo and sa tingin nya your husband is taking advantage of your situation. Gusto nya ng guilt-free na affair sa ibang babae. Feeling ko nauna nya munang nakita si bargirl bago pa man sya nagsuggest sau ng babymaker-plan. And then later nlang nya kunwari nakita si bargirl. Kasi kung pagsasabayin nya i-open sau yung babymaker plan at yung gusto nyang babymama eh halata naman sya. Kasi bakit all of a sudden yun agad naisip nyang solution sa pagkakaroon ng anak? Aware naman siguro sya na advanced na ang technology ngayon pagdating sa ganyan. Andaming alternative willing naman pala sya mag loan. Ano ba reaction nya pag nag suggest ka ng ibang alternatives lets say yung pag surrogate, ivf or ibang babymaker? Violent reaction din ba?  If that's the case, he wants the bargirl not a baby. Save yourself sis...I'll include you in my prayers.