Husband getting close with his female colleague.. Woman's Intuition or Paranoia?

[Msfi]

^walang delicadesa na yang ganyan.

Parang yung friend ng nag attempt Kay hubby, kabatch nya dun sa company.  yung Isa naman nilang officemate ang nilandi at nagkaffair sila. Ang galing makalusot eh officemate din nila yung wife na friend naman ni hubby. Different floor naman yung working area nila pero nung nalaman ni wife about the affair umiwas naman daw Si kabitch, but one time na napunta Si kabitch sa area ni wife na physical daw talaga ni wife. Nabato daw nya una ng mineral water na iniinom nya then may ipinalo pa daw sya. Nanginig daw kasi sya sa galit nung makita Nya. It was the wife who told me, nung may  activity sa office nila, while the kabitch and her friends are looking at us. Tinuro din nila sa kin yun may gusto Kay hubby.

[funky f]

OMG, the topic you started - i can so relate. Naisip ko na yan before sa hubby ko but never naman sya naging ganyan kaclose sa colleague nya. But I spoke to him and was open na I really thought that the girl liked him. He denied it of course. So, yang question mo, naisip ko din nun - praning lang ba ako or may something talaga si girl? E pretty pa naman the girl and younger than me. Buti ngayon, di na sila gano kaclose.

Sis, Pwedeng sa ngayon e wala pero i think (medyo sure ako actually, based on how you describe their closeness) that it will evolve into something deeper. Don't wait for it to happen. Tsaka sis, alam mo naman tayong girls, emotional - madali madevelop. I don't beleive na 100% platonic lang yun. Agree with all sisses here - when you're married na, you have boundaries na kahit kaibigan lang na opposite sex. Wag na natin hintayin na ma-fall tyo. Wag na hintayin na maging super close. Avoid temptations na. The fact na effort pa sila na early morning messages, hindi na tama yun at hindi rin normal. Act now before it's too late.

[j.adore]

Girltalker2, thankful din ako my gut feel pointed out something was off and you sissies have validated my feelings.
When you post about your past (I read from even before), it's sad pero at the same time I look up to you because you're stronger, wiser now.
Praying and hoping helps din daw. I read one here in GT it got them through the ordeal.

Secretaries -- coming from a friend who has a cheater father, reason is because mas ma-asikaso ang secretary than a wife. Less demanding, sweeter, etc. everything the wife is no longer able to do because of being married (busy with family, chores, nagger)

I know no reason is enough for someone to cheat on their spouse but the drifting apart happens because of changes or issues that never got addressed. Well, at least in our case ganito and thank God we're fixing it na.

Curious question, meaning the milagro is happening pag pinag-overnight ni wife si secretary? The nerve naman ni husband at secretary

Msfi, dalhin na lang sila sa China! Dami videos binubugbog BOTH the husband and the kabitch.

funky f, buti naman ok na kayo. Ano reason ng husband mo to deny may something?
Yup, I think the same and I explained it to my husband na sa ngayon tingin niya selos lang ako pero di niya nakikita kung ano ang pwede mangyari kung magtutuloy siya. He also admitted to being defensive but he got my point in the end. He is fixing it now, that's what matters.



So we got to the office and I haven't seen the girl yet. I saw their area though and well, I felt a pang seeing the proximity of their area. As in magkatabi kasi tig-2 sa isang cubicle kasi. Spacious naman pero sila ang magkatabi.
I'm trying to brush off the negativity kasi nga my husband is already fixing this. Pero sa totoo lang nakakainis pa din!!

[funky f]

Sa kin kasi sis, i thought lang naman na si girl lang may gusto sa hubby ko. Sabi ni hubby, wala daw gusto sa kanya yun. Ewan kung dense lang sya or he's just saying that to appease me. Buti rin when my husband found a new job, ayun, di na sila masyado nagkikita. Pero before the girl would text pacute messages pa rin pero nawala na rin.

Looks like you have a good man for a husband, sis. Kahit di ka nya naiintindihan fully, he's willing to compromise para um-ok relationship nyo good luck to you.

[zanabee]

sis si girl ba dati ng malapit yung bahay sa inyo o just recently lang? i hate the part na kasabay niya pumapasok at umuuwi sa car ang hubby mo. hanggang kailan tong set up nilang ganon sis?

[baliwsayo]

Invite mo sa house nyo yun girl at bf nya. Wild idea lang. Then observe their body language. Wild idea lang. Hehe

[j.adore]

Sa kin kasi sis, i thought lang naman na si girl lang may gusto sa hubby ko. Sabi ni hubby, wala daw gusto sa kanya yun. Ewan kung dense lang sya or he's just saying that to appease me. Buti rin when my husband found a new job, ayun, di na sila masyado nagkikita. Pero before the girl would text pacute messages pa rin pero nawala na rin.

Looks like you have a good man for a husband, sis. Kahit di ka nya naiintindihan fully, he's willing to compromise para um-ok relationship nyo good luck to you.

Ah so di aware. Mukhang di naman din siya pansin ng husband mo.

Yes, he is. I'm lucky he listens

sis si girl ba dati ng malapit yung bahay sa inyo o just recently lang? i hate the part na kasabay niya pumapasok at umuuwi sa car ang hubby mo. hanggang kailan tong set up nilang ganon sis?

Recently lang. Nagkataon na same area yung condo namin pero noon pa binili preselling.
Sabay pumasok di pa nangyayari pero plan nila gawin pag lumipat na yung isang guy officemate nila. At least that plan eh group sila ok lang.
Pauwi yung nakikisabay and it's not everyday naman. Maybe twice or thrice a week?
I think just a few weeks ever since lumipat.

Invite mo sa house nyo yun girl at bf nya. Wild idea lang. Then observe their body language. Wild idea lang. Hehe

Hehe we're not friends and I don't consider her as one of my husband's real friends (because kilala ko yung mga long time friends niya at friends ko din sila).
I also don't want my husband to have anything to do with her except for work. This is until such time he understands and learns about boundaries. Also to avoid him doing to her the things that are meant for me, no matter how small.
Di ko kaya magpakaplastic hehe. Thanks for the idea though

[jan888]

hi sis..  I don't think the carpool is a good idea even if there are three of them in the car.  Huwag ka nalang sana pumayag ipaumpisa pa yun ganon na routine..what will happen on those days the other guy for some reason cannot join them on their way to work? 

[Msfi]

^i agree, magkaka-reason pa sila to text para sa oras ng alis nila.

[Girltalker2]

If matagal na naman hubby mo sa work nya, baka time to look for a new job.

[bagaholic_chewy]

"No" din ako for carpooling. E pano pag eventually yung isang guy e hindi makasabay? E di ang ending silang 2 na lang uli sabay uuwi? Wag na no!

[LGV]

Happy ako na maganda ang pinatutunguhan ng usapan nyo ni hubby mo. That girl should be out of the picture talaga she doesnt have any right, meron at merong motibo yan sure na sure na ako. Haha! And again, sorry makapal talaga mukha nya. Tama si sis na nagsabing walang delicadesa yan. And yes dapat ma-inyourface yan. Do everything that you can for her to realized that theres nothing wrong and there shouldnt be something wrong with your marriage kaya wag syang humarang sa dinadaanan mo. Yung kwento ni sis na napisikal ng wife, I cant blame her dahil kung ako hindi ako palaaway pero sa ganyang situation hindi ko maipapangako. Lol

[mrsBuens]

^sis j.adore, ako for sure never magiging comfortable sa ganyang situation. kaya nag-heads up na ko sa asawa ko...sinabi ko na sa kanya yung mga bagay bagay na hindi ako kumportable lalo na sa pakikitungo nya sa opposite sex. hopefully maalala niya lagi at maisapuso.

tyempo nabasa ko last week about sa building hedges in marriage...share ko din sa inyo mga sisses...
http://teachwithjoy.com/2012/11/after-i-do-i-build-a-hedge/


honestly, akala ko, tamang hinala lang hehe...pero may basehan naman pala ang intuition natin. the more na dapat protektahan natin ang ating marriage..parang self-audit lang din yan eh. but i know it's hard...lalo na mas matagal naman talaga nakakasama sa work. sabi dyan, affairs don't happen overnight..slowly building up yan. so sa sari-sarili natin need to be vigilant talaga...and communicating talaga is the key.

[j.adore]

jan888 Msfi bagaholic_chewy, di ko naisip yan.. You are all so right. My husband has said that for cases wherein coding siya, he doesn't have to bring a car and go with his guy colleague. Si guy at si girl ay iisang condo building BTW. Nagkataon din they bought in the same condo.

I have been supporting my husband's decision to just stop everything.

Girltalker2, I will not be happy with that because my husband has helped build the company from the ground up Even if he does this, if he hasn't learned how to set limitation, we will still have the same problem in another company or even if we build our own. Yung issue is not just the job or the girl.

LGV, hehe minsan gusto ko rin naman siya bigyan ng benefit of the doubt dahil may kasalanan din naman husband ko for helping in building their friendship.

Wala siya nung event eh may sakit daw. Baka sa pictures na lang niya makita na nandun ako with our happy faces

BTW, madami siyang sakit na kung ano ano so tama yung sinabi na my husband has also been played the damsel-in-distress move. He helps kasi ayaw niya maging responsable kung may masama pang mangyari dun sa girl. Pero sabi ko, meron siya BF to be the one to do that. Naisip lang ng husband ko kund di naman malaki effort, why not help.

Yeah di mo rin talaga masisisi. Sometimes I believe the kabitches deserve what's done to them and they know it's coming.

mrsBuens, OMG I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS! It's perfect! All the things I was trying to say this articles says it all and shempre better!
Hehe kasi pag naguusap kami naiiyak ako ayan tuloy di ganun kaayos pagkakaexplain ko.
I shared with my husband and he even took down some notes lol.

We did that too (pagsabi ano ok at hindi). We actually have a lot of checks and heads up pero siguro we just forgot through time kaya we're in this situation.

Yes kaya din hindi ko maignore yung buildup inside me because it's telling me to check on things and I'm so thankful I did!



I'm so thankful to all of you!

[maiandra]

mrsBuens, I am avid reader of that blog, too! Lots of Christian advice about marriage and it's so realistic and eye-opener.

Sis j.adore, good to hear you and husband are working it out. Nothing an honest conversation won't fix. Just remember you have every right to vent out your feelings to your husband and not just stomach everything in. Open and real communication is key.

[funky f]

OT, Joy Mendoza (the blogger) was my batchmate and classmate in one class back in college. Ang galing nya no? hehe...

[j.adore]

maiandra, we had a dinner date and discussed about it too. Grabe ang daming super sakto na sinabi sa article! So we ran through it and talked for a couple for hours.

[maiandra]

That's great! You're on the right track. You may want to try reading other articles too especially about marriage. Super recommend it.

[belle_v2g]

Sis j.adore, nalungkot ako when I started reading the thread, I felt your worries and fears. But I'm glad to know na happy ending na. Yes, lahat naman nadadaan sa mabuting usapan as they say. God bless your marriage.

[momentum]

how inspiring naman yung blog na shinare..what a lovely couple