Hello everyone! It's been a long time since I've visited this thread. Just done backreading and it's with so many regrets that I've really missed a lot of information/tips.
Anyway, my life's journey has been less easier the past few months. And then I remembered Sir CH's reply on my first ever post here on this thread: As a Water Dog, 2015 will be okay for me except for the last months of the year. We survived the Ghost month, in fact, good things even happened during those times. But alas, we got hit really bad mid-October until now.
There were no employment opportunities for me overseas. A family member was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, which necessitated us coming home to the Philippines. My husband and I have to live in their family home so we could take care of the ailing family member. Our finances is on a slump (money out, no money in), more frequent petty quarrels with my husband and we even had a vehicular accident last Friday the 13th (thankfully, no one got hurt).
Worse, to use akhtung's analogy, their house is an aquarium with murky waters. The vibe I get from their house is much heavier from what I get from our rented apartment overseas. For example, the house is full of clutter. Emotional hoarder kasi si MIL (literally and figuratively) kaya their house is a malaking tambakan of useless abubots. I don't know when was the last time she cleaned their house. May altar sila pero masyadong magulo, nakatambak even non-religious items. The hallways both in the 1st and 2nd floors end in a CR. And yung CR sa 2nd floor ay nasa itaas ng CR sa 1st floor. Pag open ng CR door, toilet bowl ang bubungad sa iyo. May mirror sa hallway which reflects the stairs. White lights ang gamit in every room. She has a cactus plant na nasa kitchen area (near the sink).
I tried to introduce to her the remedies I've learned from this thread: Use yellow lights except sa kitchen (ayaw nya kasi madilim daw), ilipat ang cactus sa CR (ayaw din), always close the CR doors (ayaw din, para daw "sumingaw" e di pati bad chi sumingaw din. Malapit pa man din sa kitchen). I suggested na mag-hire ng maglilinis ng bahay kahit once a week lang, ayaw nya kasi mahirap na daw magtiwala. Pinapalinis lang nya yung yard. I volunteered to clean kahit yung CR lang, ayaw din. She doesn't believe in FS and has closed her mind to it (very religious siya ha but I don't believe she's spiritual, though). Since she's the queen of the house, I could only suggest and it's not in my personality to impose kaya as much as possible, I only stay sa room ng husband ko. I try to make our room a sanctuary (pero minsan nangingialam pa din siya like she will close the blinds kahit maaga pa). It also doesn't help that my MIL is such a negative person (materialistic, cannot let go of things, even the trivial ones, etc) and my daily interaction with her is really testing my patience, tolerance and understanding.
When we were living overseas, my husband and I strictly don't eat red meat on Tuesdays and Fridays. We also attend the earliest Sunday mass. But since we started living with them, we have to eat what my MIL cooks. Her son (my husband) once requested na kung pwede no red meat on these days, di rin pumayag. I could always cook naman a second dish for us kaso ayaw nyang may nangingialam sa kitchen nya. On Sundays, evening mass ang ina-attendan namin kasi di kaya ng parents nya na gumising ng maaga and they want na we go to church as a family.
I was really looking forward to celebrating Diwali (even put an alarm on my calendar) because I thought we'll be celebrating the day on our own place. Yun nga lang, because we live now in a place which is not ours and the homeowners find the ritual not aligned with their beliefs e hindi ko na rin nagawa

I feel that what I'm going to do with my life is a conundrum right now. If you ask me what would be my next step, I will answer with frustration: I don't know. It's my fault din naman. I've been inconsistent with my prayers and my meditation since we've been hit with these problems. The only good thing na nagagawa ko now is doing exercises to help me de-stress. I plan to do the 4-day fasting starting tomorrow and salt bath for cleansing. Will also do the confession-penance-mass combo next week since last time we confessed was October pa.
I apologize for the long post and thank you also for the space. Makes me feel a little better!