Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 7)

[kvandenhaak]

^No, merong lalakeng torpe talaga. Dati kong BF, ganon. Canadian yun ha? When he was younger daw, hindi daw sya makapagsalita sa harap ng babae. He was 28 na nga nung nagka-GF, kakahiya daw...LOL! So, minsan di masama mag-initiate ang girl but within reason, of course!

[red_yesha]

Awee na appreciate ko lahat ng sagot nyo sa tanong ko salamat kasi akala ko walang sasagot kasi parang pang teenager lang ang tanong ko hehe. Patweetums.

@dismembered- tama ka kinikikig ako habang  nagtatype ng mga panahon na yan. Hays tinamaan ata ako lol.
Yan din naisip ko idaan sa joke yung tanong since mahilig naman ako magbiro. Pero ang hirap iexecute kapag kinakabahan haha. Salamat sa tips.

@j.adore - sis hanga ako sayo! Ang tapang mo!! Di ka man lang natakot sa magiging consequences hahaha. Idol na kita haha.

@simang - thanks sis, yes sinusubukan ko lagi na hindi mag overthink kasi pag naiisip ko sya bumibilis tibok ng puso ko hahaha.
Tama ka, I-enjoy ko lang ang bawat oras na magkasama kami.

@kvandehaak - naniniwala rin ako na may mga lalakeng torpe. Nagkaroon ako ng ganyang friend. As in sobrang torpe. Mabagal pa sa pagong.

[kvandenhaak]

Not sure where to post this but I am in Canada, dating a Canadian dude. How do you know if you're already BF/GF? Hindi kasi katulad sa Pilipinas, it's pretty black and white.

[Girltalker2]

^ he would bring it up and ask you. If not, di sya mag babanggit ng kahit ano. So always assume friends lang kayo if walang usapan na bf:gf na kayo

[kvandenhaak]

^Friends? But we are dating. I was clear naman from the beginning that I am not looking for FWBs.

[badw33d]

^ dating is just dating. as long as there is no mention on the bf/gf thing, just friends and still dating.

[jtansanco]

Not sure where to post this but I am in Canada, dating a Canadian dude. How do you know if you're already BF/GF? Hindi kasi katulad sa Pilipinas, it's pretty black and white.

You're only dating. That's it and it doesn't mean you're also exclusive. He could be dating others as well without telling you because you don't need to know. It's the wild, wild, west after all. That's how it is here in North America. If he wants to take it to the next level, he will let you know. Otherwise, you're stuck dating him.

[junetwentythree]

^Friends? But we are dating. I was clear naman from the beginning that I am not looking for FWBs.

I'm sure you're more than friends. But after a few dates, if he doesn't broach the subject, perhaps you should. You're adults. It's not something you should skirt around. I'm guessing this is your first non-Filipino relationship?

In my case with my bf (he's American), he just flat out asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend I had always always dated non-Filipinos but that's the first time I've been asked officially like that

[kvandenhaak]

^No, he is my 3rd...LOL! But ex had Pinay GFs before so he already knew what to do. The last guy was very brief, we dated mostly online because of his job. Technically, this is the first time I am experiencing the western style of dating.

Well, it's not like I am in a hurry. I am just wondering when you are BF/GF kung walang official na proposal. I am enjoying the dating scene so far. I have not directly asked him if he is seeing somebody else. I just told him I am not dating anyone else. But I asked him before kung kelan yung last relationship nya. It was only two months which ended last January daw.

[Girltalker2]

^Friends? But we are dating. I was clear naman from the beginning that I am not looking for FWBs.

But was he clear from the beginning what he wants? Kasi if not, most likely he is just looking around pa. So he would like to get to know you muna - kaya kayo nagd date.

I'm sure you're more than friends. But after a few dates, if he doesn't broach the subject, perhaps you should. You're adults. It's not something you should skirt around.

In my case with my bf (he's American), he just flat out asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend I had always always dated non-Filipinos but that's the first time I've been asked officially like that

Dating101... Never ask. At least sa dictionary ko, I won't. Kung di sya nagtanong, friends lang kami. Let him ask you.

Tama sabi nila, for all you know, marami din syang ibang dine-date. Kaya another rule is - date others din, date as many as you can haha. Enjoy the single life! Dyan mo makikita ano ang type mo na guy, which character you like best etc. Tsaka ka na mag BF.

Mahirap kasi if you're so focused with this guy, mahulog loob mo sa kanya, aasa ka, tapos in the end, sya pala shopping around lagi ang peg. If he doesn't bring it up, then move on to the next. Dami pa naman single guys eh.

[kvandenhaak]

^Thanks for the tips but my rules say one at a time. It's just not me. I can't date more than one guy. Actually, I clarified as to where we are right now and what I exactly feel. Sya mismo nagsabi kung ano possibilities in the future. With that saying, it is promising.   

[mooncake and leaves]

^ From experience, the guy clarifies. But if it didn't happen that way, I would've asked if I've been seeing someone exclusively and steadily for a considerable amount of time.

I don't believe in dating multiple men either if I'm already in the stage you guys are in. In fact, the guys I dated share your view-- date one girl at a time. The mentality is that you can't really know too much after a first date, in most cases but you want to give it time and space to grow. And that's not going to happen with any one person if you date too many people at the same time. Maybe it's age too? People in their 20s are probably more open to dating a lot of people. After that, tamad na talaga eh lol.

[Girltalker2]

^Thanks for the tips but my rules say one at a time. It's just not me. I can't date more than one guy. Actually, I clarified as to where we are right now and what I exactly feel. Sya mismo nagsabi kung ano possibilities in the future. With that saying, it is promising.

Ok lang naman if that's your style.  It is just that when you say 'looks promising', are you just waiting if it happens, it happens. If not, ok lang?

Kasi wala naman issue if you want to date one guy lang. The only problem kasi your feelings are bound to develop. And this doesn't necessarily happen to guys. Yes, he may like you, pero since he has not brought up this issue, we are not sure if yung level ng feelings nyo eh pareho.

In fact chances are, Mas may feelings ka na siguro for him kesa sya sayo. Kasi the fact that you're asking kung when kayo considered mag bf/gf... Pero sya di pa nya ma bring up.

Similar to my advises to other sisses, if you think Mas nahuhulog loob mo sa kanya, I think the only way to control this is to meet other guys nang ma divert attention mo. That's why iba ang paniniwala ko. Date lang naman, friends lang, no sleeping or kissing or whatsoever.

Now, if he has professed that he wants to date you exclusively, this can make all the difference. Only this can make me stop dating others, that is, only if he is the guy that I like the most and he is the best match for me. Kasi if di nya sinabi, kahit pa sabihin nya na mukhang promising ang future nyo, it doesn't stop him from meeting other girls na may promising future din with him.  That means he can still be shopping around. Di naman fair sayo (unless ok lang sayo) na sya lang ang gusto mo idate kasi that's your style pero sya lima lima ang ka-date kasi style nya yun.

Sa western culture kc more if date lang ng date until you find someone who just makes you not want to see other people na.

[kvandenhaak]

^If his style is to date more than one, eh nasa kanya na yon. I just don't like dating more than one at the same time, it just doesn't feel right. Kasi parang ang gusto mong sabihin eh since baka ginagawa rin naman nya eh di gawin ko rin. No, that's not how I make decisions in life. I might fall in love with him, that is not impossible. But that's life, you take chances. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. If I don't want to lose, then I won't play the game. Tinanong ko lang kung at what point na nagiging BF/GF because I just want to know. I guess, I should have just asked him...LOL! Kahit kasi sabihing date LANG naman. The fact is the purpose of dating is to find a prospective BF. That alone is enough for me to not to do it.

[junetwentythree]

@kvandenhaak Here's another possible indication for you... you met this guy online right? Is his profile still up? As soon as my guy and I got serious, he took his down. And he asked me to do the same. Then a few days later was when he asked me officially to be exclusive. So perhaps you can start from there? If it is still up... then maybe you can use this as a segway to your conversation about exclusivity and where he sees this relationship going -- when the time comes.

[kvandenhaak]

^It is still up but mine is also. We kinda talked about being still there. He told me he can see mine still there. I never made it as a big deal. The truth here is: I wanted to date but the guys I was meeting were kind of demanding. Di ka lang nakasagot agad, tatanong agad if I am there or if I am still interested. Sometimes nagagalit pa...LOL! I am kind of contented with my situation but my son is already growing up and getting more independent. I thought I could use the free time to date now. When I met the guy, I already raised the question of distance and difference in our lifestyle. I told him I am not sure if it's gonna work. It took a month actually before I agreed to meet him. I didn't have high expectations. Eh kaso ang gwapo pala sa personal....LOL! There's mutual attraction and got along well on the first date. One time, I brought up again the issue of our differences at ano ba kako nagustuhan nya sa akin? He find me very attractive daw, easy to talk to and he likes my sense of humour. He also said that we have enough in common and we get along well. And I agree,  we are getting along really well. But maybe because I am kind of treating him more like a buddy than someone that I will be dating serious in the future. Kasi pag kausap ko naman sya, hindi ako pa-tweetums or acting like his GF even if we already kissed. For now, we are enjoying each other's company. So, I don't know why I need to fix anything. Nothing's really broken.

[simang]

^there you go, enjoy what you have na lang. Wag mo na masyado isipin. Mukha namang you're having fun. Kami ng husband ko he never asked me to be his gf, dumating lang kami sa point na pinapakilala nya ko sa mga tao as his gf. Di ko naman naisip tanungin noon kasi hindi naman ako bothered kung kami na nga ba lol. Mas concerned pa friends ko nun saken sila pa ang tanong ng tanong kung ano na status namin. Ako inenjoy ko lang talaga whatever we had then. Kahit hanggang ngayon na married na kami pag may nagtatanong kelan naging kami, hindi namin alam ang isasagot lol. Ang joke pa samen ng friends ko, we skipped the bf-gf part, after 'dating', engaged agad. Haha. Ang sa akin kasi if the guy is making you happy and kung pasok sya sa standards mo, eh di good. If he really likes you he will let you know naman. Ganun naman mga lalaki, regardless of race.

[Girltalker2]

@kvandehaak - good for you sis, everything is ok naman pala! Before you posted kasi, parang iyan yun topic na medyo magulo yung guy tapos the girl was starting to be fond of him na. So if you're just enjoying lang naman din, just be cool about it. Gayahin mo si sis simang - stories nya Isa din sa mga inabangan ko before hehe   di important ang labels. What really matters is both of you are happy.
Kaya Tama Lang na Ienjoy mo iyan stage na iyan - be happy and stay happy!

[kvandenhaak]

^No...lol! I was just wondering. That is true, I don't think labels really matter as long as you get along. Just go with the flow.  Kasi tayong mga Pinoy parang kelangan me official label, date, etc. Yeah, I am just enjoying whatever is now.

[TomHansen]

Speaking of labels, kapag ba ang isang babae at isang lalaki lumalabas(movie + food) matatawag bang "date" yun? Dating na ba sila? Ano ba ibig sabihin ng dating?