Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 7)

[mindiegirl]

Gaano kayo katagal ng gf nyo before you introduced her to your parents or your friends? Do you think na importante na makilala ng parents nyo yung girlfriend nyo? My bf hasn't introduced me to his family kami, and mag 7 months na kami. He stays here in Makati but goes home in Bulacan every other week. Aware naman family nya na I exists kasi his cousin saw him texting me then searched me sa facebook. Dati it didn't bother me kasi bago pa lang.

Sis, same ako kay GirlTalker2, before maging BF napakilala na din ako sa family nya. Actually ako naman nahihiya nung time na yun kasi di pa kami napunta na ko sa bahay nila. Parang awkward lang for me. Pero looking back, I think it's important. Hope you meet the family soon (especially if serious na your relationship).

[mindiegirl]

Hello everyone,

I want to ask lang what does it imply kapag si bf di sya nahihiya or awkward magkwento about his ex? (Not naman all the exes, just the one before me). For example, madadaanan namin yung building where his ex worked, ayun masisingit sa topic. I'm just wondering kasi diba yung ibang guys ni hindi mababanggit yung ex or parang bawal pagusapan/ ayaw ng balikan? Ano yon namimiss nya kaya? Haha! Paranoid lang. :p

Di ko macompare kasi on me if I will do the same because wala naman ako ex.

Thanks in advance!

[j.adore]

Paanong nahihiya or awkward? Siya ba nag bring up?

[simang]

Hello everyone,

I want to ask lang what does it imply kapag si bf di sya nahihiya or awkward magkwento about his ex? (Not naman all the exes, just the one before me). For example, madadaanan namin yung building where his ex worked, ayun masisingit sa topic. I'm just wondering kasi diba yung ibang guys ni hindi mababanggit yung ex or parang bawal pagusapan/ ayaw ng balikan? Ano yon namimiss nya kaya? Haha! Paranoid lang. :p

Di ko macompare kasi on me if I will do the same because wala naman ako ex.

Thanks in advance!

Wow, ako personally I'd find that a little rude, talaga bang ganun consistently nyang naiisip yung ex nya para banggitin ng banggitin sayo? Do you tell him how does it make you feel? Well, pwede namang innocent lang talaga, especially kung bago lang ako and very recent ang ex. Pero still... parang inappropriate. Siguro okay lang na pag usapan ang exes kung yun talaga ang topic, pero kung naremind lang sya because of something, i think it means he's still thinking a lot about the ex.

[slickchick]

Hello everyone,

I want to ask lang what does it imply kapag si bf di sya nahihiya or awkward magkwento about his ex? (Not naman all the exes, just the one before me). For example, madadaanan namin yung building where his ex worked, ayun masisingit sa topic. I'm just wondering kasi diba yung ibang guys ni hindi mababanggit yung ex or parang bawal pagusapan/ ayaw ng balikan? Ano yon namimiss nya kaya? Haha! Paranoid lang. :p

Di ko macompare kasi on me if I will do the same because wala naman ako ex.

Thanks in advance!

In my opinion, and if I'm in your shoes sis - kung bago pa lang kayo (tipong less than 6 months), and kung paminsan-minsan lang nya banggitin about the ex, I think it's ok. However, kung matagal na kayo, and if halos lahat na lang ng bagay, nami-mention nya yung ex nya, I may have the inclination na hindi pa sya nakaka-getover dun sa ex nya na yun (espcially if yun yung ex na sinundan mo - the most immediate ex). I agree with what sis simang said. Perhaps you should tell him, in a diplomatic or casual way, how it makes you feel. Huwag mo naman awayin, kasi baka maging parang insecure ang dating mo pag ganun.

[mindiegirl]

Thanks sis j.adore and sis simang for your answers.

Sis j.adore, I mean hindi awkward for him na mabanggit or maisingit pa nya yung ex nya sa usapan. For that specific example, sa may moa yun eh tanda ko the buiding we passed by. Tapos parang the dialogue was, "ganto pa din pala dito". Me naman, bakit? Parang ang tagal mo naman na hindi napunta dito. Then saka nya nasabi na oo nga eh. Dati kasi dito nag work si (name of ex). Then jog daw sya dun while waiting etc etc.

Sis simang, yan naramdaman ko actually sis, parang rude naman nabanggit pa! But di ko pa na mention sya kanya my feelings pag nababanggut pa nya si ex. It happened like few times pa lang naman. Kaso bakit nababanggit pa din?

[mindiegirl]

To answer your question pala sis simang yes medyo matagal sila ni ex nya. 7 years (yata) and kami naman 5 months (palang). But dating for 1 year na kami before ko sya sinagot. Then i think 1 year yung pagitan na wala na sila nung gf nya na yun.

Partially answered na din your question sis slickchick. Yes hindi naman madalas, mga once a month siguro. Haha. Basta maalala nya if nasa same situation kami na nangyari din sa ex nya, ayon mababanggit nya. Yes sis di ko naman aawayin. Hehe! Actually yun din yung fear ko na parang baka sabihin insekyora pag sinabi ko na ayaw kong mabanggit banggit nya ex nya! Hahaha! Dati kasi nung di pa kami di talaga ko nagseselos sa ex nya na yon kahit tagal nila, ako yung nagiinitiate na minsan magtanong about the girl. Pero nung kami na, nakakaselos na pala pag nabanggit. Hihi

Pag naulit pa ill take your advice sisses na to say in a respectful way how I felt everytime he will mention the ex. thanksss :*

[j.adore]

I'm assuming you know the reason for their breakup and if they had closure already?

Normal naman to be insecure at this stage kasi months lang kayo whereas years naman sila. Do they still have contact with each other until now or radio silence naman?
Kaso too early pa to tell him about this hehe. Just observe na lang. Kung once a month parang di naman ganon kadalas. Anong magagawa eh naging part ng 7 years ng buhay niya yon.

Parang mas ok yung may transparency siya than hiding things from you (lesser of 2 evils).

[mindiegirl]

^yes sis I know the reason and may harapang closure naman with the basis of the infos he shared to me. But you're right na I can't deny the fact that they are together for 3 years shy of a decade. I will observe more nalang. Hope I would not be reactive. *fingerscrossed*

[kizz2kill]

Simple lang yan, hiritan mo ng "miss mo na?" with a smile pag nabanggit nya ulet si ex. This usually happens to me and my girl even up to now(5yrs in a relationship). Nagiging biruan na lang sa amin ang mga ganitong scenario. Also, it's a big insult to her if I'll feel a little insecurity simply because I know how she made and making me feel loved every single day

[mindiegirl]

Bro kizz2kill, you mean you too sometimes mentions your ex with your present gf? I'll try your suggestion, pabiro treatment. Hehe

[three8one]

be frank and straight forward but do it in a nice way. if di ka kumportable na minimention ni bf pa rin yung ex nya if you were together then be vocal on saying it..sometimes or should i say most of the time maypagka manhid ang mga lalake habang wala silang nadidinig sa babae we felt okay lang sa inyo yun mga babae.

naniniwala ako, open communication ang isa sa mga mahahalagang factor para magkaron ng matibay na foundation sa isang relasyon.

[j.adore]

Is it really harmless if a guy greets his ex on her birthday but thru private message then deletes it? Reason niya kasi she greeted him on his birthday too (deleted din yun message na yun).

[three8one]

Is it really harmless if a guy greets his ex on her birthday but thru private message then deletes it? Reason niya kasi she greeted him on his birthday too (deleted din yun message na yun).

harmless yun, kung yun ang sinabi nya. paniwalaan mo lang..kinutuban ka ba na parang may kakaiba?

sa case ng pagdelete maybe, ayaw lang pagmulan ng argument kaya dinidelete. pag walang nakikita walang dapat itanong. minsan kasi ang babae pag hindi kontento sa sagot ni lalake daig pa nyan ang mga prosecutor sa pagtatanong eh.

[mindiegirl]

be frank and straight forward but do it in a nice way. if di ka kumportable na minimention ni bf pa rin yung ex nya if you were together then be vocal on saying it..sometimes or should i say most of the time maypagka manhid ang mga lalake habang wala silang nadidinig sa babae we felt okay lang sa inyo yun mga babae.

naniniwala ako, open communication ang isa sa mga mahahalagang factor para magkaron ng matibay na foundation sa isang relasyon.

I agree three8one with the open communication and no hesitation naman ako to actually tell him this. I just want to gather insights why such athing happens. Is it purely random? Or should this scenario worry me?

[j.adore]

Wala naman kutob. Di ko lang maintindihan kung bakit kailangan gawin yun kung alam naman na may risk na pagmulan ng argument. Kasi kung may tago factor pa hindi ba ibig sabihin eh may something? Parang mas nakakaduda tuloy pag ganun.

harmless yun, kung yun ang sinabi nya. paniwalaan mo lang..kinutuban ka ba na parang may kakaiba?

sa case ng pagdelete maybe, ayaw lang pagmulan ng argument kaya dinidelete. pag walang nakikita walang dapat itanong. minsan kasi ang babae pag hindi kontento sa sagot ni lalake daig pa nyan ang mga prosecutor sa pagtatanong eh.

[three8one]

Wala naman kutob. Di ko lang maintindihan kung bakit kailangan gawin yun kung alam naman na may risk na pagmulan ng argument. Kasi kung may tago factor pa hindi ba ibig sabihin eh may something? Parang mas nakakaduda tuloy pag ganun.

yun yung nakikita ko lang kasing dahilan eh why dinidelete ang mga messages, my basis of course is yung sinabi mong reason ni bf mo sayo ah. andun pa rin yung fact na baka nga may itinatago si bf but i don't want you to focus on that kasi ayaw ko bigyan ka ng idea na pwedeng pagmulan ng away nyo.. what about palusutin mo na muna ngayon si bf then just tell him na before sya mag delete iinform ka muna nya much better if mababasa mo muna. just tell him kasi medjo doubt ka sa ginawa nya before kaya kamo para magkaron ka ng peace of mind wag na nya uulitin yun ng hindi mo alam.

just my 2 cents.

 

I agree three8one with the open communication and no hesitation naman ako to actually tell him this. I just want to gather insights why such athing happens. Is it purely random? Or should this scenario worry me?

it happens talaga lalo na nga sa mga bf na medjo may pagka insensitive. kasi kung sensitive yan magiging selective yan sa mga words na bibitawan nya. i think wala ka pa naman dapat ika bahala basta do your best with love as her gf then problema na ni bf yun kung hindi sya matisfied. tutal wala pa naman mawawala sa relationship nyo since recent palang naman kayo.


 

[jeninajenina]

I came from bad relationships. Now I'm dating someone.

We're okay. Kaso hindi ko alam if because of bad relationships. I find it hard to trust people.

he's okay naman. he's sweet and tries to deal with me everyday which I am grateful for. I know it's never right to check on your partner's fb. but I did

I saw his archived messages. He fooled around with a lot of girls in the past. made me scared of trusting him more   it seems like he's so good at making girls fall for him. naiisip ko Baka subject nya lang ako and once he's done with me. wala na.

first time he knew me. super flirty siya. alam mong he's just trying to sleep with me pero I didn't gave in. We'd dated for a couple of months before we decided to date exclusively.
kaya minsan naiisip ko pa rin na subject lang niya ko but we're dating for 8 months now. still can't get it out of my head.

One time when we were in bed together. He told me "I wanna treat you differently". Hindi ko alam if driven lang by the after sex moment or he really means it. I can't read men.

Question ko po is, can men really change para sa isang tao lang? since i came from abusive relationships kaya naiisip ko na people don't really change. Pwede kaya siya magbago talaga? hindi ko naman sinabing magbago siya. naiisip ko he just feel challenged sa akin and eventually pag wala nang bago sa amin. babalik din siya sa dating siya.

siguro I'm just two afraid of getting hurt again. he's still staying kahit andami kong doubts sa amin. and every time I ask him to leave kasi I'm difficult he just says he can't.

[three8one]

^ men can change, why not. pero mas maganda kung magbabago sya yan eh kung may dapat talaga ipagbago dahil para sa sarili nya at ikabubuti nya,  hindi dahil sa kanino pa man. bonus na lang siguro kung ikaw yung magiging inspiration nya sa pagbabago.

base sa story mo, mukhang di ka pa nga nakaka getover sa past relationship mo, good thing lang is sinusubukan mong maka getover kahit paunti unti. dapat maging cautious ka rin baka naman kasi kala mo ikaw ang nasasaktan pero ikaw na pala ang nakakasakit. bigyan mo ng chance yung guy na mapatunayan nya yung mga sinasabi nya sayo.. actually correct me if im wrong ah. exclusively dating palang kayo pero hindi pa kayo ah? pero you sleep together na? tapos ang lagay na yan eh natatakot ka pa nyan? medjo naguluhan lang ako dun kaya nakailang basa din ako sa part na yun eh..

anyway its not my business anymore, ang gusto ko lang talaga sabihin sayo ay huwag ka matakot na magmahal at masaktan kasi atleast alam mo na may damdamin ka pa, marunong kapa pala magmahal. mas matakot ka pag nakikita mo na ang sarili mo na hindi na ka na pala marunong magmahal dahil madhid na pala ang puso mo... madali lang naman yan eh, ang mga lalake pag may pakay na hindi maganda mainipin yan, kung hindi agad makuha sa paspasan mabilis nilang aayawan yan. kung talagang sincere at pure ang intention ni guy kahit gaano pa katagal ikaw maging ready para sa isang commitment anjan lang sya nag aantay...

[simang]

Question ko po is, can men really change para sa isang tao lang? since i came from abusive relationships kaya naiisip ko na people don't really change. Pwede kaya siya magbago talaga? hindi ko naman sinabing magbago siya. naiisip ko he just feel challenged sa akin and eventually pag wala nang bago sa amin. babalik din siya sa dating siya.

siguro I'm just two afraid of getting hurt again. he's still staying kahit andami kong doubts sa amin. and every time I ask him to leave kasi I'm difficult he just says he can't.

Men can change. They do. But never expect them to change for you. They will change in their own time. They will change when they want to.

The only way to really enjoy a relationship is to be in it completely. How can you enjoy something kung ang iniisip mo lagi is there might be something wrong? You have to see the good in the relationship. I'm not saying be with this person blindly, pero you have to know yourself very very well first for this doubts to go away. Kasi if you know what you really want for yourself, it will be very easy to know if the person is right for you or not.