opinions anyone?

[xandersmom]

Im not sure if im on the right trend. But anyway, here's my story, i got pregnant 3 yrs ago, since then nag quit na ako magwork. Naging full time mom ako. No yaya. Then, nag usap kami ni husband na magwork na lang ako ulit para dagdag ipon. So kumuha kami ng yaya but until now, its been 7months pero wala pa din ako mahanap na work. Ive tried looking for jobs for like 2 months pero wala ako makita . Since jan, di na ako nag apply. Hindi naman akp prenepressure ni husband kasi nakakaraos naman kami financially. Pero kasi nakatira kami sa side nya. Kasama family ng ate nya tsaka mil ko. Nahihiya ako sa bahay na meron pa akong yaya tapos wala akong work. Wala kasi ako ginagawa maghapon. (they have enough maids to do the householdchores)  Feeling ko pinag uusapan nila ako pag hindi ako nakaharap. Minsan kasi "parang" narinig ko yung SIL ko na tinatanong if naghahanap daw ba ako ng work. Im not sure if ako yun. Perl, who else,dba?  Hindi pa ako makapag apply ulit kasi may mga naka sked pa kaming vacay ngayon summer. Naprapraning na ako. Hindi ko naman mai-open up kay husband. Kasi sa kanya, ok lang na hindi ako magwork.

[17glut]

ang diskarte dyan dapat proper communication lalo na sa mga in-laws mo about your plans para maiwasan ang tsismis at di ka mapag isipan ng di maganda..

[Girltalker2]

Sis, kahit may vacation, go apply lang. Some jobs take 3 months pa nga for processing at maraming level and interviews, not to mention medical check up etc.

What kind of job are you looking for? Do you think you're qualified sa mga ina-apply an mo? Or Mas magagaling ang ibang applicants? You can also take courses that is in line with the jobs you're applying para sa ganun Mas may edge ka sa ibang applicants.

Good luck!

[brendzy]

Agree, proper communication dapat dyan sis. Tsaka apply lang ng apply, tatawag naman yan. ano ba yung summer vacay nyo, 1 month, 2 months? Out of the country? Better talk it out with your hubby as well yung nararamdaman mo para gumaan pakiramdam mo. Maybe your SIL does not mean anything, baka casual na tanong lang. 

[princessrio]

apply lang ng apply. hindi naman pag nagpass ka na ng cv eh tanggap ka na agad. or you might want to consider online jobs din. usong uso na yan ngayon.

[17glut]

ts, siguarduhin mo muna sa sarili mo din na gusto mo nga talaga mag work ulit and not bec nagpapadala ka lang sa possibleng iisipin ng mga IL mo. Pag kasi unsure ka tapos nakahanap ka na agad baka madali ka rin magsasawa di ba?

[hypergalactix13]

I agree with sis 17glut, wag ka pa-pressure i-ensure mong gusto mo yung work na aapplyan mo para siguradong magtatagal ka rin.

[j.adore]

Hindi mo maiaalis yung ganyan kasi meron nang yaya. Just continue to apply for work and you can even ask help from your in laws baka may kilala sila na may alam na opening somewhere. Style din yun to show them na naghahanap ka talaga

But I have to ask, do you really want to work?
- applied for 2 months pero wala so stopped since January
- may planned vacations
- no pressure from husband, ok lang sa kanya di ka magwork
- nakakaraos financially
From a perspective, they are excuses and if you chose to stop applying, be ready for the "consequences" at isa na dun yung may nega ILs.

Kahit hindi ka pinepressure ng husband mo, if you both committed to this goal, do everything you can to achieve it. Kasi nasimulan niyo na by getting a yaya, kulang na lang talaga yung makakuha ka ng work. Pwede naman tumakbo ang mga applications even if you have planned vacations.

Also, please do not wait for any pressure to come your way or for something bad to happen. It is very important to have a backup source of funds to fulfill child's education, emergency funds, retirement, etc. Are you also planning to move out of your ILs' place in the future? It's one more thing to consider yan.
Unless yung "nakakaraos" eh kasama naman na pala ito

[bagaholic_chewy]

^ i was about to say something similar..

I think TS is not too decided on getting a job. Siguro nga dahil walang financial need and walang pressure from the husband. Laging me excuses. Like the planned vacations - how long ka ba mawawala? Months straight? Kasi pwede naman mag-apply pa din, then schedule interviews dun sa times na pwede ka. Hindi naman kasi ora-orada pagsa-startin ka or tanggap ka na agad.

I would suggest talking with your husband. What are your long-term goals as a family? If you decide na wag na magtrabaho, then discuss with him kung ile-let go nyo na si Yaya. Or if you decide on other alternatives like online job/business or whatever sideline, then lay it out with your husband para malinaw.

Since you're living with in-laws, di talaga maiiwasan na me mga side comments ka maririnig minsan. Kaya nga dapat malinaw ang usapan nyo ng husband mo. Para kahit ano pa sabihin ng in-laws mo, deadma ka na lang, kasi kaya ka ipagtanggol ng asawa mo. Ang mahirap e kung pati sa a sawa mo e hindi malinaw kung ano talaga gusto/balak mo.

[aquacharly]

Even the very wealthy who do not need to work, work or do something productive.

Even if your husband is not pressuring you to contribute financially,  you owe it  to yourself to develop whatever talents you have and to gain more skills.  It is a crime to stagnate, just saying.

Do not just apply wherever.  Since you are starting all over again, determine which industry or general kind of work you can commit to in the longrun.. Then, start anywhere -- you gotta start somewhere.  It doesn't matter, coz if you have a great interest in that industry/line of work -- you will definitely advance.

But really, be honest with yourself.  There are so many options nowadays, there is no reason to be lazy.  If you would rather focus on the domestic front, you perhaps would like to take up culinary lessons.  Or interior design, or even become a make-up artist and set up your studio at home.  Ang daming available na pagkikitahan na home based nowadays.

So do not hem and haw, do not be guilty about having someone on your payroll, that is just 1 yaya.
Once upon a time you had a career; surely, you experienced the high of being productive.  There is even the bigger high of having your own funds.  just saying.

[goldenrose]

i can totally relate on this. been there. nakakabagot naman talaga na nasa bahay ka lang. worst... nasa in laws pa. sis... eventhough my sched vacays ka.... apply pa din. dont give up. i can feel it when u said pinaguusapan ka... yes. napakahirap makisama sa in laws. ako nga minsan nao OP ako pag kumpleto sila lahat sa house (due to occassion) lalo na pag nagsalita na sila ng ilocano. (di ako marunong). nakahanap din ako ng work (2 yrs na)  and.... we move to OUR OWN apartment. mas madaling gumalaw. walang nakatingin palagi sa family mo.

[beach_n_sunsets]

My mother always tells me that I should NEVER ever be without a job - kahit anong trabaho basta productive at may kinikitang pera. Higit sa lahat, huwag umasa sa iba para mabuhay - kahit pa asawa 'yan. Iba ang feeling ng may sariling pera, 'yung pinagpaguran Tsaka sabi ni mudra, what if iwan ako ng asawa ko tapos wala akong trabaho? Eh di nganga ako? (going strong pa rin sila ni tatay, btw  )

Whenever tinatamad ako sa trabaho or sa buhay in general (LOL), lagi kong naiisip 'tong payo na 'to ni mother dear.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

Well sis, no reason to be offended sa in laws mo kasi totoo naman na walang kang trabaho and you did stop looking. They are just facts.

[imprincessfiona]

I can relate to this. My parents are separated 17 years ago. My mom is a full time home maker. When they separated, nganga si mudra. Buti na lang my uncle was there to support/help us 'cause i still have one more year to finish college. Kabilin bilinan ni mudra na dapat maging financially stable ako kahit may asawa na ako so that if ever magkahiwalay (knock on wood! sana naman hindi) hindi pupulutin sa kangkungan at nganganga.

[donzski_doinks]

I've been in the same situation before. I got married while I was jobless. I did not try to look for a job. Pag tinatanong ako ng parents ko bakit ayaw ko maghanap ng trabaho, I will give reasons like: walang mahanap, may sakit ako walang tatanggap sa akin (I have epilepsy kasi)...reasons like that and more. but you know what, I realized that those reasons were just lame excuses of mine. the truth is, nasanay na ako ng walang work kaya ayaw ko na mag work.

alam mo, eto luma nang kasabihan pero applicable pa din. "kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto may paraan." kung gusto mo talaga magkaroon ng work, gagawa at gagawa ka ng paraan para makahanap. ASAP. pero kung ayaw mo talaga mag work, what you will do is find excuses and reasons to justify your being jobless.

[antithesisofbarbie]

Hi Sis! ^_^

Naisip ko lang na why not wag na muna mag yaya for baby? Pero naisip ko lang un. At least kahit paano less gastos tapos hindi din makita ng in-laws mo na wala ka masyado gngawa sa bahay di ba? If they have enough maids naman for household chores at least focus ka nalang kay hubby and baby mo.

about sa paghahanap ng work - baka need mo lang iimprove yung CV mo or if you know someone mag ask ka para marefer ka nila db? hmmm anong field ba un  gusto mo pasukin? I think meron at meron yan tyaga lang.

[xandersmom]

Thanks for the replies guys! Well, no negas naman from the in-laws. Natanong lang naman ng SIL ko kung naghahanap ako ng work. They really nice. Yung ibang kapatid even thank me kasi may kasama mommy nila sa bahay pag araw. Gusto ko magwork kasi kahit hindi naman madamot asawa ko, sa akin nya dinederecho sahod nya. Khit minsan sya pa nag iinsist na bigyan ko sila mama. Nahihiya pa din ako humingi ng pera na gagamitin ko for my parents. Iba pa din pag sarili mong pera ginagastos mo. Plus naguiguilty ako whenever they come home late and tired tapos ako  chill chill lang hahaha (boss ni husband si SIL.)

[aquacharly]

^Hmmmm. You started out feeling kinda uneasy about being unemployed and idle (walang ginagawa?) at home, with a yaya.  That's how I got it.

But now, you say everything's okey-dokey & you are in fact rendering a valuable service to your MIL & her family:  daytime companionship.
Fine.  No contras to your current state.
Fine, if you are content to be so.
Enjoy!   Hwag ka na mag-isip isip pa na baka ikaw pinag uusapan.

Few people have such 100percent confidence in their positioning.
Most have generous husbands who pose no objection to  an unemployed/un-engaged in whatever spouse, who have in-laws who don't meddle  (or, we don't give a sh--neeze about their opinion, haha) -- enjoy our productivity and financial independence -- yet: a few few times when we get tired, we wish we could just stop.  Hahaha.

[magno4]

 


as long as walang complain ang husband mo sayo, oke lang kahet wala ka trabaho. just enjoy being your self and mother to your child. ganyan ang pamilyang pilipino, basta live happily after..

[gil12]

I'm in a similar situation, nakaka-relate ako dito. We live with my in laws, I am not employed and we have a yaya for my son. My husband doesn't want me to work. Aminado rin naman kasi ako, if I get employed, entry level malamang mapapasukan ko and the pay I'll get isn't worth the time I'll be spending at work kasi mababa pay. One of the reasons why we live with my in laws din kasi na-attach na sila sa son ko, they are really old, kaya sige pagbigyan na para they can spend a lot of time with their apo and son ko sa kanila. Ngayon kasi nag-iisip kaming mag-asawa na pwede i-negosyo or I might study again. Tulad mo, mga brother in law ko thankful na dito kami nakatira kasi whatever happens to my parents in law atleast nasa bahay kami. Dati kasi father and mother in law ko na lang nasa bahay with the helpers and drivers, nun tumira kami dito sumaya naman yung bahay and hindi na dumadaing mother in law ko sa mga anak niya na kesyo may sakit siya ganun. Mukhang okay naman na set up ninyo, ituloy mo lang yung pinapakita mong may natutulong ka sa bahay.