Problems you encounter while preparing for your wedding (Part 6)

[clairetez]

mga sis share ko lang ang experience ko with the church na binook ko for my wedding: Ermita Church

Pinili namin ang Ermita chucrh, kasi dito personally may spiritual connection ang parents ko. So dinadayo pa namin sya for the mass and other religious events.
Kung ganda lang ang pag-uusapan, mas pipillin ko siguro ang paco chapel or malate church, pero sige dyan may kurot sa puso so go na

Nanghingi ako ng requirements over the phone (overseas kasi ako) so sinabi naman ang mga about sa birth certificates, confirmation , chancery forms and other witness forms.
Kinuha ng aking parents at pinadala sa akin
Na fill up na, inayos na sa chancery at na-approve.
Tawag uli ako, may mga rules and requirements pa ba kaialangan.
Pre-cana na lang daw which is first Thursday ng buwan at saka na lang daw aayusin ang banns. So nagsabi ako ,
"madamme, taga france po si groom baka may dokumento pa po kayo kailagan sa bansa nila at paano po iyung banns, civilly married na po kami at  hindi na po talaga iniiemplement ang bannssa ibang lugar"
wala naman daw na.
So, eto na punta na kami ng pinas at attend ng pre-cana.
Binigyan kami ng Banns, ipaskil daw sa both parish namin. EH nasa France yung parish ni groom, kailangan  daw ipaskil ng 3 weeks  at ibalik before the kasal. Kasal is in less than a month.
Pagtapos sabay bigay sa akin ng listahan ng mga rules ng simbahan: Bawal ang wedding coordinator, bawal ang non-liturgical songs, bawal isarado ang pintuan sa pag march ng bride ! at pag-iisipan pa daw nila yung ukol sa personal vow
Nakakadismaya. Nagtatanong ako for more than a year, ilang long distance calls din yung kung ano mga requirements at rules nila, sabay kung kelan less than a month saka lang ibibigay.
Alam ko naman na may mga couples na lumalagpas sa boundaries.
PEro sa mga nababasa ko na forum at sa aking sariling karanasan, may mga tauhan din ng parish na umaabuso rin sa kanilang awtoridad.
Nakakalungkot na sa ibang bansa, halos magmakaawa na yung mga pari na magpakasal sa simbahan dito naman may mga tauhan ng simbahan na may pagka-diva.
Wala naman sa akin na sumusunod lang sila sa regulasyon, pero minsan dapat may konsiderasyon.

[sparklingjewel]

^Oh no im sorry to hear that sis Nakakastress naman sila! Naloka ako sa bawal ang wedding coordinator. What country are they from, alam naman nilang lahat ng wedding ngayon halos meron.

[ece]

Waaaahhh!! Ganun ka higpit?? Bawal ang wedding coordinator. May ibibigay ba silang tao para ma assist kayo? Bawal isara ang pinto. Pwede kurtina? Bawal non liturgical songs. Kahit sa picture taking bawal padin?

[clairetez]

Thanks sis sparklingjewel, ang katwiran kasi nila yung gusto daw ng couple and coordinator ang nasusunod at hindi simbahan. Eh sa akin lang naman i clear mo ang boundaries, susunod naman ang mga tao. At puwede din naman sabihin na sige pasok ang coordinator pero secretary pa rin masusunod. Napaka inflexible, gusto ko na nga sabihin , you are all acting totally what the church is teaching!


Thanks sis ece, oo bawal ang coordinator!! gusto nila yung parish secretary mag mando, kaso naman sobrng sungit ni secretary. Paano nya malalaman kung sino offerer? ako pa tatanungin nya sa harap! actually ginawa nya sa akin yan nasa precana seminar ako , tanong sya ng tanong sa akin, hindi na ako nakakinig at hindi ko na natranslate yung sinasabi nung speaker sa groom.
Pero salamat sa idea ng kurtina, wala silang kurtin, just see throught glass hahahah
YUng sa kanta rin! kung saang part lang daw usually kumakanta in-house soloist/organist nila/...dun lang!

[juwie]

clairetez, when is your wedding? Kakastress naman yan! Sana sinabi ng maaga para nakalipat pa kayo ng simbahan!

[clairetez]

clairetez, when is your wedding? Kakastress naman yan! Sana sinabi ng maaga para nakalipat pa kayo ng simbahan!

sinabi mo pa sis juwie, kasal nasa 23....haaaay
kaya siguro walang review sa ermita church din kasi wala gusto magpakasal dun

[ece]

Sis, kung dun nyo talaga gusto, wag mo na istress ang sarili mo, kausapin mo nalang si coordinator na kausapin si secretary, ihand over sa kanya lahat ng details. Pero si coordinator and team ay stand by lang. Siguro naman pwede sila pumasok sa loob diba? Sa songs sis, kung gusto liturgical kahit bridal march, strings nalang! Wala ng vocals. Violin siguro okay?

[120515]

big hug, clairetez! i totally understand you. i also went through several long distance calls over a span of 3 weeks just to speak to the priest and get the requirements. we're going on vacation in august and we'll drop by the church to make sure everything is in order.
i think you can have a face-to-face meeting with the church personnel and the secretary to iron out the details on the day of the wedding. just so you are all on the same page and because they want their rules to be upheld. like what was suggested by ece, just have your coordinator in standby at the back of the church on the day.
however, i think the most important thing is to iron out the church requirements for the wedding itself. did they make a suggestion on how you can get around the banns? like can you send a scanned copy of it to someone in france? request to talk to the priest as well about the requirements. i'm just worried they may not push through with the wedding if the requirements are not met.
good luck and i hope you get all these ironed out soon!

[imprincessfiona]

sissies will you let your bridesmaids pay for their gowns, half-half kayo or will you pay for everything? how about their makeup? i don't know how to go about this pa eh... parang i don't know how to ask them to pay for their dresses...

^sis barbeecue i paid for my ento's gown pero sila na bahala sa hair and makeup nila. nung una sabi ko kay hubby parang gift na lang nila yung gowns nila kaso may exemption si hubby who is my SIL (ang sakit lang sa bangs).kainis lang.kaya sabi ko kung may isa kang hindi pababayaran yung gown nila e di wag na lang pabayaran lahat.

[barbeecue]

thanks sis 120515, sparklingjewel and imprincessfiona. i've decided to pay for my whole ento's dresses but i'll ask nalang that they pay for their own hmua. parang di ko kaya pabayarin sila ng dress nila kasi i'm picking it and they have no say in the matter. for the secondary sponsors, dahil sisters sila ni hubby, we'll pay for their gowns and makeup. yes sis imprincessfiona, ang sakit lang sa bangs hahaha. sissies you'll have the groomsmen and male secondary sponsors pay for their own suits noh? they'll provide nalang their own. i'm planning to give them color coordinated ties lang.

sis clairetez i'm so sorry for what you're going through. feeling ko they were being irresponsible during your long distance calls to them, like they weren't giving you the complete info (for whatever man reasons nila, i don't know). alam naman siguro nila na long distance bride ka and planning your wedding here from the other side of the world takes more from you. sana man lang may pakundangan sila kasi couples go through so much and we invest so much time, effort and money in weddings. hay nako. 120515 is right, have a face-to-face meeting with the deciding bodies of that church and iron out what can be done. it'll all work out in the end sis

[imprincessfiona]

^sis barbeecue yung male ento ko i paid for their barongs and yung kamiza ba yun then sila na bahala sa pants and shoes nila and their grooming. yung mga bearers naman nag-diy kami ng tie for their barongs wala kasi kami makitang kamiza na pambata na kakulay nung motif namin.

[sevenstars]

barbeecue, if you are requiring specific attire for the groomsmen (e.g. asking them to purchase a specific suit from a specific store) then I think you should pay; but if you are just asking them to wear their own suits then no na. All our groomsmen are wearing suits they already own.

I think having the girls take care of their own HMUA is fine, as long as you're not requiring them to use a specific artist -- this way they can choose what they want to spend. I was a secondary sponsor before and I was asked to take care of my own hair and makeup, which I was ok with, but the bride was really pushy about me using the people she booked (P3,500/head so it wasn't cheap). I found out afterwards that she'd promised the HMU team a certain number of heads pala. It kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

[dr.thereal.joy]

Mga sis, h2b talked to 2 of his friends to be his best man without telling me. I am in terms about it but does it mean ba na dapat 2 rin MOH ko?

[120515]

hi dr.thereal.joy, according to my wedding coordinator, you don't have to match the numer of best men to the number of maids of honor. they don't march together. my husband has 3 best men and i only have 1 maid of honor

[j.adore]

Yup, separate lakad sila so hindi naman dapat pair.

[dr.thereal.joy]

Thanks mga sis, also namomoblema ako about sa guest list. I havent seen my friend's bf and I am not sure if I should include him as a +1. Limited lang kasi guests namin. Pati rin yung asawa ng isa ko pang kaibigan. Never ko rin pa siyang nakikita pero di ko alam kung isasama ko. Yung dalawang friend ko na yan eh college friends and makakilala naman sila and close friends din.

[Maxim04]

Thanks mga sis, also namomoblema ako about sa guest list. I havent seen my friend's bf and I am not sure if I should include him as a +1. Limited lang kasi guests namin. Pati rin yung asawa ng isa ko pang kaibigan. Never ko rin pa siyang nakikita pero di ko alam kung isasama ko. Yung dalawang friend ko na yan eh college friends and makakilala naman sila and close friends din.

Just tell them sis na limited ang guests mo and if may mag backout, you will let them know.
Kahit kami ayaw namin na may "unfamiliar face" sa crowd. It could have been one of our dearest friends na sana. hehe. 

Ako mga sis i told my BMs na sila shoulder ng gowns nila. They are ok naman since kanila na ang gown after. Shouldered ko HMUA nila. but if they insist to pay, edi mas OK! hehe. 

[j.adore]

Spouses and fiance/fiancees should be included as part of etiquette and because you are inviting them to a wedding.
Malaki din ang chance na hindi naman 100% of invitees can attend so there is still room for partners.

We had an intimate wedding but significant others were still included because of this. Meron dun lang namin sa wedding nakilala but me and my husband did not have any problem with it kasi definitely ka-close naman namin yung partners nila.

Since getting married, I haven't been invited to a wedding na walang +spouse.

[barbeecue]

barbeecue, if you are requiring specific attire for the groomsmen (e.g. asking them to purchase a specific suit from a specific store) then I think you should pay; but if you are just asking them to wear their own suits then no na. All our groomsmen are wearing suits they already own.

I think having the girls take care of their own HMUA is fine, as long as you're not requiring them to use a specific artist -- this way they can choose what they want to spend. I was a secondary sponsor before and I was asked to take care of my own hair and makeup, which I was ok with, but the bride was really pushy about me using the people she booked (P3,500/head so it wasn't cheap). I found out afterwards that she'd promised the HMU team a certain number of heads pala. It kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

sis i'm not particular with whatever suit they'll wear. sila na bahala basta naka-suit sila. i will however make them wear color-coordinated ties, which i'll provide.

ako din sis i'm not particular with my BMs' look or hmua for my wedding day, as long as they get it done and it looks maayos, i'm fine with it. 3,500 per head is steep ha. i've seen decent ones naman na 1,600/head lang.

Thanks mga sis, also namomoblema ako about sa guest list. I havent seen my friend's bf and I am not sure if I should include him as a +1. Limited lang kasi guests namin. Pati rin yung asawa ng isa ko pang kaibigan. Never ko rin pa siyang nakikita pero di ko alam kung isasama ko. Yung dalawang friend ko na yan eh college friends and makakilala naman sila and close friends din.

sis you know issue ko rin to. kasi i've never met one of my friend's boyfriend (actually as of now hindi pa nga sila eh) and pinipilit niyang dalhin sa wedding ko. as in pinipilit niya talaga. pumayag ako kasi she's in my entourage. but my friends na not in my entourage and i've never met the boyfriend, i firmly say no kasi i'm limiting also our number of guests. pag married, tricky to sis. i think it's courtesy that if you have a married guest, invited din yung husband. but my dad has been ninong to some weddings wherein hindi man lang invited mom ko hahahaha. i found it weird pero now that i'm planning my wedding, medyo nagegets ko na sila. i have a friend also who's married and i'm on the fence about inviting her husband. i've only met her husband once and hindi ko rin ganon ka-close tong friend na to. so since we're limiting our number of guests, parang ayoko iinvite husband niya.

[clairetez]

Thanks sis ece and 120515 , oo tama kayo, kailangan talaga ng isa pang masinsinan na usapan with the 3 of us...siguro naman wala ng surprises, sinabihan ko na rin si coordinator na unless cued by miss secretary sa background lang sya.
And yes thanks sa suggestion, i-escalate ko na rin sa pari na humingi ng palugit or alternative about the church documents. karating lang daw kanina ng papel dun sa parish sa france. hay naku.