Author Topic: Unsupportive wife  (Read 14183 times)

quinone

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #20 on: December 07, 2014, 01:52:58 pm »
may plan B ba si husband mo since mukhang hindi nagwork ang plan A niya?

sa totoo lang parang hindi appropriate na he wants to put up a business at your expense, ang nasa isip-isip niya e yung savings mo, kahit pa para sa inyong dalawa yung negosyo. kasi if i were you mate-turn off ako sa kanya. you mentioned he "bought a business" before, is he "putting up" one currently? next time, baka it is better to just franchise or "buy." is he a good decision-maker? may foresight ba siya?

i suggest talking to your husband, better face to face. sabihin mo alam mo he did his best and you are sorry the business did not work out,  ask him for his plan B, if he has one and then gently tell him about your plans. i hope he recognizes his shortcomings, sana hindi ma-pride na wala sa lugar. importante talaga na ang mag-asawa naga-agree sa mga plans/decisions, otherwise, magkakaroon ng bitterness/resentment. so sana mag-agree kayo sa next step ninyo, at sana dalawa kayong magtrabaho hindi yung ikaw lang bubuhay sa inyong dalawa.

for me lang ha, dapat nga he should go to your parents house and apologize for leaving you there and thank them for taking care of you while he is away. after all, he is your provider now.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2014, 10:19:22 pm by quinone »

purple.strawberry

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2014, 06:17:54 pm »
@langley Napakamot na lang ako sa ulo sa sinabi mo. May mga ganyang views pa pala ngayon.

Trust your hubby if you observe that he's making sound financial decisions. Ang tanong, is he? And what's that about him not calling you back, considering you're pregnant pa with his child? Too much pride there. IMO he doesn't seem to be the reliable type.

It's good sis na you have a plan and your parents are there to back you up. Tama yan masecure future mo and ni baby, regardless of whether babalik si hubby.

Girltalker2

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2014, 08:41:42 am »
may plan B ba si husband mo since mukhang hindi nagwork ang plan A niya?


I think the plan B nga is to wipe out the savings of TS  :(  Tutal may family naman si TS na maaasahan in times of need.

cecilydee

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #23 on: December 08, 2014, 11:11:20 am »
I hate to be negative in this sis but parang wala ka nang maasahan sa asawa mo. Panay emotional abuse ang ginagawa niya eh. Ikaw na nga ang buntis ikaw pa ang hinihingan ng pera at ikaw pa ang kailangang umunawa at ikaw pa ang kayang hindi kausapin ng 1 month? Ang dami niyang sablay talaga at alam kong alam mo iyon.

Nangunguna lang ang pagiging kindhearted mo kaya ka naguguluhan..

Tama ka sa ginagawa mo ngyon at asikasuhin mo nalang ang sarili mo at baby mo. Sana makapanganak ka ng maayos at thank God nasa parents mo ikaw at understanding sila.

Girltalker2

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #24 on: December 08, 2014, 12:07:11 pm »
I hate to be negative in this sis but parang wala ka nang maasahan sa asawa mo. Panay emotional abuse ang ginagawa niya eh. Ikaw na nga ang buntis ikaw pa ang hinihingan ng pera at ikaw pa ang kailangang umunawa at ikaw pa ang kayang hindi kausapin ng 1 month? Ang dami niyang sablay talaga at alam kong alam mo iyon.


Tsaka what I cannot accept is pinatigil nya sa work si TS pero wala naman din syang sure na income after that.

abbmg

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #25 on: December 08, 2014, 04:56:14 pm »
hi mga sis. thanks po for all the concern. i'll answer in general na lang po.

re Gaano kalayo yung province - it's a plane ride away so malayo siya at medyo mahal. nasa ibang island. i texted him the other day ang sabi ko nga papadalhan ko na lang siya ng pamasahe makauwi lang siya dito before Christmas pero wala talaga eh gusto niya matapos yung business project niya, he said that he'll see.

re Car Loan - ginagamit ng family niya yun for personal use. as i've mentioned before ang kinasasama ng loob ko eh nabulok na sa mga kapatid niya yung sasakyan tapos hindi man lang siya matulungan bayaran. sa totoo lang nahurt ako kasi pag tinatanong ko kung dadalin niya dito sa manila yung sasakyan laging hindi siya makasagot, o kaya sasabihin niya na pag minemention niya sa mga kapatid niya na dadalin na niya sa manila, naaawa daw siya kasi wala daw silang magagamit. when i asked him kung ililipat niya ang sasakyan solely under his name once he finishes it, hindi daw kasi hindi naman ganun yung mga kapatid niya (assuming na may mangyari sa kanya at kanino mapupunta ang kotse) . right now it is under his brother's name kahit siya nagbabayad. i don't know kung sakim ba ako pero ganun yung nafifeel ko kasi i wanted naman kahit papaano to secure my child's future. at saka yung half ng savings na binigay ko sa kanya, some of it was used din to pay for the car loan. please note that i was able to buy a 2nd hand SUV so yun ang nagagamit namin dito. i paid it in full nung dalaga pa ako.

re Plan B- ang plan B niya is mangungutang sa lending company which i highly doubt na maapprove since wala naman siyang trabaho. he will know by this week. he said that he will use the lot that he bought before we got married para collateral, pero sa BDO una niyang tinanungan, nadecline na kasi hindi naman yun prime lot for the amount he wanted to borrow. so again i asked him WHAT IF hindi maapprove yung mga inapplyan niya, he said he doesn't know. so walang Plan C. so i asked na lang na once maapprove yung loan saan niya ilalaan ang pera. he said he will continue yung project niya tapos will pay for 2 months nung car loan. sabi ko if he can also send me money para panggastos ko. saka i told him na hindi approve yung sa hospital benefit where i can give birth free so i need money para makalipat nako ng OB at may pangbayad na din sa ibang hospital. ayun sabi niya nga may pera pa ako. so i told him wala na akong pera. ang pagkakamali ko lang talaga ay sinabi ko lahat lahat ng savings ko before we got married, he kept on asking kung san ko ginamit yung pera, imposible daw na maubos ko yun ( in truth kasi malaki laki pa natira kahit nabawas na yung binigay ko sa kanyang half ng savings ko) i told him basta wala na nga natira. so again, i felt me and my baby are not prioritized. actually, wala pang response yung hospital benefit if they will extend it. i just wanted to feel na may sense of urgency on his part na magprovide naman ng pera kahit papaano pero wala pa rin. iniisip ko nga kung sakaling sa ibang hospital ako manganganak i won't bring any money at all para siya mamroblema since buong pregnancy ko hindi niya inintindi yung fears ko financial wise.

re Business bought before we got married- hindi na niya mahawakan yun kasi ang nag aasikaso yung brother niya. ang sabi ng mom niya, hayaan na lang sa kapatid niya. parang nangyari ay he provided the financial capital for them pero wala siyang gain ni singkong duling. eto kasi ang hirap sa province or kahit sa mga pinoys in general, they think you'll never run out of money if you're working abroad. they will milk you as long as they can, ngayong baliktad na ang sitwasyon at wala ng pera ang asawa ko, wala siyang matakbuhan sa parents nor siblings niya. sila ang laging gumagamit nung naka car loan at sila ang nagpapatakbo nung busines, but they don't give their fair share para man lang matapos yung last year ng pagbabayad.

i am on the verge of getting crazy. sa totoo lang there are days na iniisip ko huwag na sana akong magising, baka sakaling magsisi na siya at malaman niya lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko. naaawa na din ako sa magiging baby kasi i cry everyday. when i attend mass, lagi akong naiiyak due to depression, na parang mali lahat ng nangyayari saken ngayon. i don't want to think na mali na pinakasalan ko siya kasi ok naman talaga until this. i always pray na maliwanagan na ang asawa ko.

we have been fighting because i wanted everything to be settled first  ( car loan and me giving birth) and for him to establish his funds for the business at mahihirapan siya sa lahat ng financial burden niya if he doesn't. lagi lang niya sagot itatapon na lang niya mga nasimulan niya which is immature kasi pede naman ipostpone na muna yun di ba? it's not as if pag tinigil na niya ngayon, hindi na pedeng ipagpatuloy once we are more established? he wants me to understand na ayaw niya mag ofw forever. i told him i understand kasi i know how it is working abroad. i am asking him why he placed me in this situation and he just kept on saying na he's sorry at alam niya nahihirapan na ako. i am thinking na ang taas taas ng pride niya, ayaw iadmit na he made a mistake kasi gusto niya pa rin ituloy when everything seems to fail.

i still don't know if i should tell everything to my parents. i don't want them to hate my husband. kasi mabait naman siya kung sa mabait kasi he helps me doing chores saka siya ang nagluluto. yun nga lang ayaw niya akong pakinggan. and i still feel na hindi pa rin nagsisink in sa kanya na may asawa na siya kasi parang mas priority niya pa rin yung parents and siblings niya at hindi kaming pamilya na niya. yung ginagawa niya kasing business is his "kapritso" talaga. meaning it's a business na hindi mo alam kung papatok sa market kasi wala pang ganung business sa ngayon.  yung siya lang ang may gustong gawin. it's hard to explain. kaya sometimes i feel that he is kinda selfish kasi when i told him before i did not want to lose my career kasi yung ang gusto ko gawin sa buhay pero he asked me to stop kasi kaya daw niya akong buhayin pero eto wala akong napala. this is what i fear most kasi by the time na makapanganak ako at makapahinga ng kaunti, 1 1/2 years na akong jobless. still hoping i'll get a good job.

there is a part of me na parang ayaw ko na, pero i don't want to admit it especially sa parents ko. kasi ang tagal tagal naming mag bf/gf tapos wala pang 1 yr na kinasal, gusto ko na makipaghiwalay. minsan gusto kong itext ang asawa ko na ibalik lang niya yung binigay kong perra at hindi ko na siya guguluhin, tutal kaya kong buhayin mag isa ang magiging anak namin. :(

there is still a little faith in me, na kaya naman talaga niya ang business na maging successful, kasi magaling naman siya. it's just that... it is not at this time.


« Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 05:03:23 pm by abbmg »

glamorosa_09

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #26 on: December 08, 2014, 06:45:55 pm »
Hmmm... pera ba talaga ang mas malaking problema dito, or yung unhealthy attachment nya sa family of origin nya? He cares more sa mga kapatid nya na walang magamit na sasakyan more than you na preggy na mas sensitive ang kalagayan.

Kung alam lang sana nya kung ano dapat mas priority nya, kung alam lang nya na dapat na may healthy detachment sa family nya, masosolusyunan niyo ang pera. Pareho naman kayong capable mag-earn ng money kahit dito sa Pinas eh.

Ang business naman risk naman talaga yan eh... calculated risk... problema "risk" lang yung sa kanya, walang "calculated." Especially may new family na sya. Baka naman kasi may strong influence pa rin yung family of origin nya dito sa bagong business na gusto nya, kaya hindi ka nya pinapakinggan.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 06:57:42 pm by glamorosa_09 »

quinone

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #27 on: December 12, 2014, 05:20:23 pm »
hindi ata naintindihan ng husband mo na security ang hinahanap mo. are you comfortable na uutang siya para makapaginvest? at this point in your lives parang mali lang yung move na yun kasi mahirap mabaon sa debts. kung hindi siya mapigilan umutang, sana sa parents/kapatid na lang niya.

are you sure all his money plus yours na 'in-invest' niya for business e doon talaga napunta? may natapos na ba siya so far?

Priceless

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2014, 11:01:06 am »
TS, I apologize if I sound harsh, but you also need to forget your pride and your ego na rin. You need to accept your husband for what he is. That includes being truthful to your parents of the situation you're in. There's no use na pagtakpan sya, you just need to come clean without sounding judgemental sa kanya.

Like for example, tell your parents na he's working on your business and does not know when he'll be back. Na he's not providing any support and you're not sure if he will be there for Christmas or whether he'll have money to help you through your pregnancy.

At the moment, I feel like you're still in denial, and of course, hindi naman mai-aalis na you're still hoping that your husband will have a change of heart and realize his priorities. But the thing is, I feel that you're depressed kasi you're still stuck on "hoping". There's nothing wrong with hoping for the best, but don't live your life getting stuck there. If your husband continues to do what he wants to do, and you let him do it (actually wala ka namang choice), wag mong itali ang mga plano mo sa plano nya kung hindi naman pareho ang direction na gusto nyong puntahan.

There's so much great things happening in your life! You're having a baby! Your parents and family are there to support you and love you! You've got good health! You have the means to support yourself and your baby! You can make decisions for yourself! Go go go. Mag pa parlor ka at mag pa blow dry ng hair at magpa mani-pedi. Do something to uplift your spirit! Wag mo nang isipin pa yung si hubby que may i-abot syang pera sayo o wala. Wag ka lang mag-abot na ng pera sa kanya.


brendzy

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #29 on: December 16, 2014, 07:00:00 pm »
I'll pray for you sis. Nothing is impossible with God but at the same time God gave us the common sense to make sound decisions pa din naman.
Try to talk again with your husband, kasi from what I see, he was not ready to settle down pa. But of course no sense na din naman ang blame game. I agree with the other sisses to come clean with your family on what's going on between you and your husband, para maprepare din sila especially sa panganganak mo, which is for now, yun ang dapat ipa prioritize.

Wala din naman masama to ask him sa progress ng project nya considering that half of that investment is your savings nung single ka pa., so that doesn't count sa conjugal properties/finances.
I pray & hope that everything will turn out fine especially yung relationship nyo. di ko lang ma-imagine how he can stay far from you especially now that you are pregnant and he is not in abroad? :(
Pray without ceasing sis.

abbmg

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #30 on: December 17, 2014, 03:53:10 am »
hi mga sis. thanks po sa mga replies.

right now hindi kami speaking terms ng asawa ko, alam na rin ng parents ko lahat lahat yung hindi niya pagbibigay ng sustento, yung binigay ko yung savings ko(i did not tell them pero ewan ko kung pano nahalungkat ng mom ko), yung business na hanggang ngayon wala pa ring timeframe kung kelan tatakbo, na hindi niya ako masusundo for the holidays pati na rin yung wala siyang maiaabot na pera para sa panganganak ko.

re Unhealthy attachment niya sa family niya- siguro ito yung winalang bahala ko nung gf/bf pa lang kami. alam ko naman kasi na sa kanya talaga umasa yung family niya since siya yung nakapag abroad. nasabihan pa ako ng mom ko na malamang daw magagalit saken yung magiging MIL ko kasi nga yung asawa ko nag iintrega ng pera, siya yung maasahan pag gipit na sila, na parang inagawan ko sila ng magsusustento. kaya nga umabot na siya ng late 30's bago nakapag asawa. before napag usapan na namin yun, na baka mahirapan siya tumanggi pag hinihingan siya ng pera, lagi lang niya sagot saken alangan naman daw pabayaan niya yung family niya na naghihirap. ngayon ko lang talaga narerealize yung sabi ng mom ko, na mabuting anak yung asawa ko pero ang tanong eh magiging mabuting asawa kaya siya? nasabihan nako ng mom ko na mag isip daw ako mabuti kasi wala akong obligasyon/responsibilidad sa family ko, pero yung asawa ko madaming umaasa. she said that it might be unfair on my part because whatever we both will have, his family will still be part of the share. ngayon ko nga napatunayan yun dahil sa car loan niya. siguro ang kinasasama ko ng loob, yung mangungutang siya para na rin matuloy bayaran yung car loan na lagi mga kapatid niya lang ang nagmamayabang na nagdadrive, pero hindi niya sila mahingan ng share sa pagbabayad, samantalang ako  kahit piso wala siyang maibigay kahit man lang pambili ng gamot for my pregnancy.

actually mas magaan nga ang loob ko ngayon because my parents now know everything. nagulat pa nga ako kasi they were telling me na huwag ko na daw isipin yung nangyari samen ng asawa ko kasi kawawa yung magiging baby, na hayaan ko na lang daw siya dun sa ginagawa niya at baka lang lalo mafrustrate yung asawa ko sa ginagawa niyang business kung lagi ko siyang kukulitin tungkol sa pera at kung kelan ba talaga siya uuwi. sabi nila hintayin ko na lang siya kung kelan siya babalik, kung hindi man, tiwala naman sila na kaya ko masuportahan ang bata at tutulungan nila ako. sabi lang ng mom ko about dun sa savings, hayaan ko na rin sa asawa ko, tutal asawa ko na iyon dapat hindi ko na daw siya sumbatan dahil dun, pinagsabihan niya na lang ako na huwag nako maglabas ng pera para sa asawa ko at ilaan ko lahat para sa baby.

nagsorry din ako sa parents ko kasi nga hindi ako naging open sa mga nangyayari samen ng asawa ko. sabi ko kasi nahihiya ako kung tama ba yung naging decision ko na nagpakasal pero parang wala rin naman akong asawa kasi hindi kami nakatira sa iisang bubong at ako pa rin ang bumubuhay sa sarili ko. sinabi ko na lang if ever man na sunduin ako ng asawa ko, parang hindi ako ready na sumama. baka hindi niya pa ako kayang buhayin pati na ang magiging baby. sabi nila didiretsuhin na nila yung asawa ko kung ano ba talaga ang balak niya saming mag ina.

now i'm still canvassing for hospitals kung san kasya yung budget ko for my delivery. hindi na kasi naapprove yung request dun sa hospital affiliated with our company since pareho na daw kaming matagal na nakabakasyon.

i'm not losing hope. at the end of the day ,hanggat maaari mas gusto ko na maayos pa rin namin ito dahil mahal ko siya. pero minsan nakakapagod din kasi pag lagi na lang ikaw yung sumusuyo, nakikiusap, umiintindi. at least kahit anong mangyari, nagpapasalamat na lang ako na nandyan pa rin ang parents ko at ang magiging baby ko na nagbibigay saken ng lakas ng loob to be brave in whatever decision i will make.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2014, 03:55:32 am by abbmg »

Girltalker2

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #31 on: December 17, 2014, 09:23:27 am »
^ sis, will pray for you and your baby.

I think things will work out eventually naman, since you have your parents support. I am sure excited narin sila sa lalabas na baby :D

As for your hubby, tama nga lang na hayaan mo na sya. Sya nga dapat ang makiusap at sumuyo sayo kasi sya ang nagpatigil sayo sa trabaho, sya ang kumuha ng savings mo, at sya ang hindi makasama kayo sa pasko.  It is a husband's duty to do all those, to provide (kasi pinatigil ka nya) and to be with his family during occasions. Hindi nya magawa.

Hindi kayo pareho ng values when it comes to finances, and this can really cause a lot of tension within the family (you, your spouse and his parents/siblings). Objectively speaking ha (of course you know best and sayo naman ang final decision), it is best to sort out your financial issues with your hubby before ka man sumama sa kanya.  Parang ako natatakot for you if ever balak nya ikaw dalhin sa probinsya nila where all his supposedly "business", his relatives and their skewed "thinking" on money are.

Take care sis


« Last Edit: December 17, 2014, 10:54:52 am by Girltalker2 »

quinone

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #32 on: December 17, 2014, 10:33:32 am »
it is best to sort out your financial issues with your hubby before ka man sumama sa kanya.  Parang ako natatakot for you if ever balak nya ikaw dalhin sa probinsya nila where all his supposedly "business", his relatives and their skewed "thinking" on money are.

i agree. chaka weigh mo rin kung ano sasabihin niya sa iyo na kaya niyang realistic na panindigan. buti mabait ang parents mo sis.

angel_kim

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Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #33 on: December 22, 2014, 02:42:48 pm »
talagang mahirap ang naging situation mo sis but i`m glad na you were able to cope up. minsan talaga kailangan magtira ka rin para sa sarili.

based on my experience (masalimout din kasi ang married life ko! haha!), i learned to value more for myself. I change my mindset and started thinking Marriage as a GAME. I don`t want to become a loser. So I stand up again and better than before. tinanggal ko na yung "submit all yourself to your husband". Ginawa ko "Submit yourself, but not ALL..."

I have two kids. Like you, my family supports me talaga in which nagpapasalamat ako dun. You must learn to play the Marriage game na hindi ikaw ang kawawa. Tama yung advice na magpaganda ka. Be beautiful as always. Yung tipong ang asawa mo ang magsisisi kung mawawala ka sa kanya.

And maybe its better to stop asking him kung kailan ka niya susunduin. He will think na hindi mo kaya na mawala siya. Bahala na siya kung may plano pa ba siya para sa inyo ng baby mo. Basta ang importante safe at healthy kayo.

And don`t forget to pray. Mag-rosary ka everyday to keep you from negative thoughts.

Go lang sis.

abbmg

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #34 on: December 30, 2014, 02:31:47 pm »
hello mga sis. happy holidays!

thanks for all your prayers and wishes for me and my baby to be safe :)

i'm thinking na not until i give birth, makabalik ulit sa trabaho, magkaroon ulit ng sarili kong buhay kasama si baby will i be able to move on completely. since preggy nga ako andito lang ako sa bahay, i try to entertain myself as much as possible, pero may times pa rin na i feel so down and depressed, na siyempre umaasa pa din ako kahit mukha na akong t****.

siguro sa dami na ng mga masasakit na sinabi namin sa isa't isa, there is no chance na magkabalikan pa ulit.

nagtext siya saken before Christmas asking how I was, sinabihan na ako ng mom ko not to text or call him anymore, to just wait until he comes home kasi madidisappoint lang at masestress ako kung pilit ko siya kausapin. at ayun, matigas ang ulo ko at tinawagan ko siya.

i asked how was the "business" ang sabi lang niya saken tinigil niya kasi nahirapan na daw siya maghanap ng materyales. so i asked ano na mangyari ganun na lang? sabi niya hinihintay niya yung loan mag try siya ng mas "smaller type-lower capital" which is totally different dun sa una niyang plano. he just said na sorry kung hindi na siya umuwi before ako manganak, na kung may mapadala siyang pera pasalamat na lang ako, kung wala pasensya muna. siyempre as i have mentioned before, emotional talaga ako, especially ngayong point na nag give up na siya at parang wala na talaga siyang planong maayos. tinext niya ako ang sabi niya pakiramdam niya pera lang habol ko sa kanya at sising sisi siya na nagpakasal kami.

sinabi ko sa parents ko kasi feeling ko sasabog yung dibdib ko. natural nagalit yung mom ko so she texted him something like "hindi mo naisip maselan ang kalagayan ng asawa mo, paiba iba ka ng desisyon, wala kang maayos na plano para sa sarili mong pamilya, nasan yung perang pinagmamalaki mo eh ikaw nga kumuha ng sarili niyang pera, kung nagsisisi ka sa pinakasalan mo anak ko mas nagsisisi kami." ang reply niya "hindi niyo kilala ang anak niyo, hindi pa kami mag asawa puro pera na pinag aawayan namin, babayaran ko ang utang ko, siya yung nagpumilit na magpakasal, walang tatagal na asawa diyan sa anak niyo." so reply na naman nanay ko " dapat alam mo yung responsibilidad mo bilang asawa at bilang ama, kung pera lang habol niya sayo, di niya ipagdadamot pera niya kasi gusto niya maisaayos ang lahat. masyado ka nagmamagaling, hindi ka marunong umintindi at umunawa." nagreply siya sa mom ko na tatapusin na niya lahat para hindi na kami mahirapan, babayaran din daw niya yung utang niya saken at hinding hindi na siya magtetext or tatawag saken kailanman. hindi na nagreply yung nanay ko kasi nga wala ng point kasi hindi naman siya nakakaintindi.

masakit lang kasi parang all this time siya yung kawawa, siya lang nagtiis saken. parang sinabi na din niya na hindi naman niya ako mahal, or kahit konting concern man sa baby wala siya. yung sinasabi niya na pera lang habol ko sa kanya, eh wala naman siyang nabigay saken kahit nung mag gf/bf pa lang kami na high end na materyal na bagay kasi nga alam ko yung mga responsibilidad niya sa pamilya niya at may sarili akong kita rin. saka yung hinihingi ko ng mag asawa kami hindi naman para saken kundi para sa pangcheck up ko saka para sa panganganak ko. hindi ko lang sukat akalain na ganun pala tingin niya saken at wala talaga siyang balak ako tulungan sa buong pagbubuntis ko. kahit man lang emotional support, yung umuwi siya for Christmas or New Year dito para magkasama naman kami wala pa rin.

naiinis nga ako sa sarili ko kasi naniniwala ako kaya niya nasabi lahat yun sa nanay ko kasi galit lang siya, na hindi naman talaga niya mean yung sinabi niya, na babalikan pa niya kami ng baby. nasasaktan ako pag tinatawag siya ng kung ano ano ng parents ko.  nahihirapan akong makinig sa parents ko kasi mahal na mahal ko pa rin siya gusto ko pa rin maayos lahat, pero ayaw na ng parents ko sabi nila tigilan ko na daw at hindi iniiyakan ang ganung klaseng tao at tutulungan nila ako sa baby pagkapanganak ko gawin ko kung ano gusto ko kung gusto ko man bumalik sa abroad or magwork dito. mamahalin daw nila si baby kasi siya lang yung magandang bagay na nangyari saken sa kabila ng lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko. kung kinakatakot ko daw yung walang father figure, basta alagaan ng mabuti at gabayan daw yung bata, lalaki naman yun sa ayos saka andun yung dad at brother ko sila na daw ang magiging tatay ng anak ko. mas ok na ngayon nalaman ko na ganun asawa ko kesa magkaroon pa ako ng madaming anak sa kanya.

ito lang yung pinagdadasal ko sa Diyos na maayos na lahat, na sana one day matanggap ko na yung nangyari samen, na there's no point na magkaayos kung isa lang sa inyo yung talagang may gusto.

salamat mga sis. i'm still looking forward sa 2015 to start anew.
I hope we'll all have a better year. Happy New Year!

erza0916

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #35 on: December 30, 2014, 03:34:08 pm »
Sis I'm sorry na natuluyan na talaga ang relationship nyo. Kaya mo yan and pasalamat tayo sa parents mo dahil nanjan sipa para sayo. Nung binabasa ko tong last post mo naiisip ko si Jennylyn Mercado haha ewan ko ba kasi lately nakikita ko sya sa fb. Hahaha anyway be like her na lang. Iniwan din sya at anak nya. Pero binuhay nya anak nya with the help of her parents and she became a better person. (Sa totoo nagustuhan ko yung pag wwork out nya ang sexy nya infairness) anyway hindi end of the world yan. Kakayanin mo yan with the help of prayers. Goodluck sis. New year new life. Hehe

So sorry kung nasingit ko si Jennylyn dito.not a fan.just admired her. Hehe

gharz412

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #36 on: December 30, 2014, 07:12:54 pm »
hello sis, hindi ko alam kung san ako mag uumpisa kung pwede lang na tawagan kita para kahit papano makatulong ako sayo. I've been there before though not the same situation but he was about to give up nadin masakit talaga na mahal mo pa siya but please be strong for your baby. In time you will know why did it happen. Just pray for God's guidance.

googoo

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #37 on: February 17, 2015, 11:24:27 pm »
@abbmg As a woman, I feel strongly about what you are going through.  It is hard enough to be a wife, let alone be a mother who just gave birth.  It is obvious that your husband is not a man of God because if he is, then he won't be saying those things that he just said to your mom.  On the other hand, your mother should not have meddled into your personal affairs.  Once you marry, you "cleave". 

The way I see it, he wanted to start a business so he can be more financially independent.  He is going through a lot just like you.  It's not easy to start a business, construction alone takes time.  When you apply for a rental space, you won't get a positive reply din right away.  In short, it takes time to have a functioning business period.

Siguro you don't understand because you don't have a business of your own.  It's very different from working for someone, kahit malaking company pa yan.  If you think you are stress with your work, wait till you have your own business, dun mo malalaman kung ano talaga ang stress.  I hope you can fix things for the sake of your baby, try not to involve your parents to avoid complicating things.

Girltalker2

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2015, 08:09:42 am »


^ I think at some point you have to find someone to support you emotionally lalo na kung wala kang maasahan sa asawa mo.

Walang napala si TS sa asawa nya, sya pa ang nag abono at mawalan ng work/ikabubuti you. Ang yabang din ng asawa nya to say babayaran eh hindi naman makapag aantay ang panganganak. Mahirap magset up ng business but that doesn't mean you should abandon your family para magawa mo ang gusto mo lang. Sa lahat ng angle talaga, mali ang asawa ni TS at makitid ang utak.

Tapos kapal mukha para sagot sagutin nya ang mom ni TS ng ganun. As the mother, sometimes di mo matiis din anak mo lalo na if you know sya ang naaapi.

Babayaran nya daw yung Utang nya? I'm sure!!! Sa pag uugali nya, I doubt, I really really doubt. Kelan?


googoo

  • Guest
Re: Unsupportive wife
« Reply #39 on: February 18, 2015, 08:59:04 pm »
^ Yes, TS has to look for someone to talk to, but the mom did not have to actually contact the husband.  Did anything good come out of that ?  I've heard so many actual stories from wives complaining about their husbands, but at the end of the day, they might just get back together.  Mapapasama pa ang nagbigay ng advice at tumulong.

Yun lang, the husband did not have to be all high and mighty kasi wala na nga siyang money.

 

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