Overprotective guys, cute or insecure?

[sacred cow]

Girls, what's your take on guys who are so protective of their girlfriends, the type na:

a) ang daming bawal like sa pananamit
b) bawal pumunta sa mga gimik with friends na hindi sila kasama
c) may kakilala siyang nagbabantay sa'yo sa office na magrereport sakanya if someone is flirting with you
d) threatens any guy who shows the least bit admiration for their girl

I really find this behavior by other guys pathetic, it's like they're so afraid na maagaw sa kanila gf nila as if hindi sila secure na mahal sila nung girl. I believe kasi na if you're confident na ikaw ang best guy for your girl (at least in her eyes), siya mismo hindi gagawa ng wrong move kasi takot siyang mawala ka, and kahit sino pa yang manglandi sakanya, e she would turn them down. If the guy can't trust his girl to be faithful/loyal to him, that he has to resort to being overly protective, then their relationship really as issues.

But some girls find these traits attractive kasi mas feel nilang love sila nung guy. How about you, what are your thoughts about boyfriends na ganito?

[simang]

That is over the top creepy and pathetic, and I agree with everything you said.

My ex was a little overprotective especially yung A and B, maybe because of age gap and sa environment na din where I was in, and sure at first it was cute but pag sumosobra na, gusto ko na syang sapakin sa mukha. I realized eventually how insecure he was na talagang nililimit nya ang experiences ko para wala akong makilala masyadong ibang tao. Towards the end of the relationship naging vocal sya about it. Nung nagstart na ko magwork, he was worried na lalaki na ang mundo ko, as per his words.

With my current partner, he allows me to do things on my own especially yung mga ginagawa ko na before i met him. Let's say when i travel solo, he's always very concerned of my safety, but he still allows me to do it simply because i tell him i like to do it. Also, alam nya na halos lahat ng mga HS friends ko eh lalaki, never nya ko binawalan. It reflects his confidence in himself and in me, which i appreciate.

[sacred cow]

^ diba? I also had an experience in college, yung classmate namin sinama naming kumain sa Goodah for lunch...bigla ba namang dumating yung bf niya para lang sunduin siya kasi ayaw kaming kasama (when in fact, mas nauna kami maging friends ni girl before naging sila), guy was also pathetic when he was offering to pay for the girl's meal nung sinabay ko na sa bayad ko nung kumain barkada namin sa mcdo kasi P50 lang naman yung order niya.

dati rin, may isa akong close na friend...pinagbawalan siya nung bf niya to hang out alone with me, eh nung hindi pa sila todo sipsip sakin si guy kasi nga best friend kami nung girl. really hate those kind of guys, kakasira ng friendships, which is why I vowed to myself na never ako magiging tulad nila. with my current gf, 'di samin uso ang bawal bawal, we're both free to hang out with who we want and to do stuff that we enjoy before naging kami (e.g. me clubbing and drinking with my friends)

[saberjade]

I like protective guys, but not OVER protective guys. Nakakasakal. You need to set boundaries.

Like, it's okay for him to ask where you are and who you're with (for safety reasons), pero if he demands na laging kasama siya when you go out with your friends, that's too much.

I also don't like guys who text too frequently, then gets mad if you don't text for an hour. I'm busy doing stuff! I'll make time for you when I'm done with my responsibilities.

Honestly, it gets boring when you're with your boyfriend all the time (and texting him the whole time you're not together). Parang nauubusan ka na ng kwento kasi wala ka nang new things to share with him.

[ri-anne]

I really don't see what the fuss is about. Isn't it an instinct for us to protect and take precious care of someone, even something pa nga eh, na special sa atin?
Iba iba ang tao..some may act like that..may iba ok lang yung ganyan, iba ayaw...edi kung ayaw mo, hiwalayan. Lol! Or pwde din palang pagsabihan muna...

[Bud]

just in any situation, may positive at hehe.... we can group such observations.

E.G.

Cute: Positive Overprotection (if there is such a thing, pag wala, new application na)
1) Due to safety concerns. guy is frequently calling his girl na currently nag-mountain trailing/hiking


Insecured:Negative Overprotection
1)Guy does not want his Girl to go out with her barkadas papuntang Mcdo.


add na lang kayo para hehe

[wangwang]

insecure    guytalker here

[hisana]

Reminds me of this time when I was trying to lose a bit of weight so I can look decent in a bikini. Sinabihan ako nung guy na dapat nagpapapayat ako or nagsusuot ng bikini hindi para magandahan sa akin yung ibang tao, kundi para sa kanya lang daw. He said it in a malambing way, but I got turned off pa rin. Wow, wala na lang ako nasabi. Still went ahead with my plans anyway! 

[sacred cow]

care to explain wangwang why you consider yourself an insecure guy, I mean..is there a reason for acting this way towards your girl or pasok na ba sa mga nabanggit ang reason why you act that way?

[wangwang]

care to explain wangwang why you consider yourself an insecure guy, I mean..is there a reason for acting this way towards your girl or pasok na ba sa mga nabanggit ang reason why you act that way?

sinagot ko lang yung question sacred cow..insecure ang tingin ko sa mga guy na ganun.not me.

[sacred cow]

^ oh, sorry..haha

[Girltalker2]

sinagot ko lang yung question sacred cow..insecure ang tingin ko sa mga guy na ganun.not me.

dapat kasi yung "guytalker here" nasa ibang line. Ang read ko rin sa post mo "insecure guytalker here" 

[Queen Chokolah]

TS, yung a b c at d na sample mo, OA lahat hehe. For me, depende din. Kung mahal mo yung guy, cute at nakakakilig yung paminsang seloso at protective pag di masyadong mahal, nakaka irita lang yung ganyan. promise. haha. Pero kahit sa love mo, wag naman OA! siguro natural lang sa mga lalake na mag react pag medyo sexy suot ng gf. Ganyan din bf ko nung una. At super ayoko na pinakikialaman ang suot ko. It's not as-if bastusin yung suot ko. alam ko kung ano ang bastusin at ano ang hindi. Siguro nasanay sa ex na baduy (lol sorry mean girl minsan). Sinabihan ko talaga sya, na ayokong pinakikialaman ang suot ko. At di na rin naman naulit.

Ok lang din yung konting selos, konting tanong, halimbawa may i mi-meet ako na guy friend, syempre no, dapat lang talaga magtanong sya kung talagang concerned sya sakin. pangit naman kung wala talagang pakialam diba? pero yung aabot sa point na pagbabawalan ako or worse susunduin? hindi na maganda yun. And respect din naman sa mga kasama ko. medyo nakakabastos naman yata yun

Oo pag ganyan ka OA, insecure na talaga yan. o wala lang talaga tiwala sa gf.

[sacred cow]

^ yeah OA talaga, unfortunately  I know a handful of guys na ganito in real life. I've experienced losing close girl friends because of their seloso boyfriends

[Girltalker2]

^ come to think of it, letter d mo ganyan pala na experience ko dati sa ex ko. term nga nila "binakuran na nang husto".

Pero creepy nga ang c. But nevertheless, alala ko lang ex ko laging sumasama sa lahat ng lakad ko, so it address b and c kasi kilala nya lahat ng friends and officemates ko. Kaya nga all my friends eh friend din nya.  But it does not follow na kasama ako sa lahat ng lakad nya kasi hindi naman ako laging lumalabas, tsaka 12mn ang curfew ko dati. Then there is this thing na boys night out for him dati, or sa office na inuman (eh hindi ako umiinom).

Eventually iba nga, in hindsight, this kind of relationship is unhealthy.

[amethyst028]

i experienced this with my last bf. sobrang seloso gusto lagi magkausap sa phone or mabilis mag reply pag nag [textspeak!] siya. pag ilang minutes wala pa akong reply kung ano-ano na sasabihin sa [textspeak!]. laging nag che-check sa fb ko kung may nag like. pag may guy na nag like sa pics ipapa bura niya yung guy.

he doesn't want me to go out with my friends nang hindi siya kasama. sa clothes din bawal low neckline, shorts, skirts, sleeveless and makeup. he easily gets jealous kahit may na kwento lang ako sa past or something. and wherever i go lagi niya ako inaask kung may nakipag usap sakin or nakipag kilala.

i never liked his attitude pero pinagbigyan ko thinking he might change eventually pag nakita niyang walang reason para maging ganon pero mas lumalala habang tumatagal. the more he is like that, the more i want to get as far away from him as possible.

he has a new gf now and sabi niya hindi daw siya ganon sa new gf niya kasi lahat daw ng gusto niya sinusunod nung girl. he is the controlling type and dapat siya ang masunod sa lahat.

[Girltalker2]

^ buti pala nakawala ka na sa kanya. malas lang ng GF nya now.

Napansin ko kasi sa mga incomplete (insecure) na guys, somehow nadadala parin nila iyan sa future eh. Gaya nga ng ex ko, nung BF/GF palang kami, kung bakuran ako akala mo naman ako si Ms Universe.  Eh hindi naman. Yes, minsan may umaaligid, pero di naman ako yung tipong habulin ng guys noh.  Pero kung umasta sya parang anytime mawawala ako. Kaya sabi pa nga ng friends ko before, maswerte daw ako kasi I have him wrapped in my little finger. Though hindi nyako pinagbabawalan, lagi kasi sya nakabuntot sakin, pero ang motive nya talaga is para wala nga akong ibang circle of friends na di nya kilala.  Fast forward, aba nung nag asawa kami, he is controlling nga. Lumabas ang pagka insecure at ayaw na ayaw nya ipaalam sakin mga bagay bagay kasi ang gusto nya sya lang ang may alam ng lahat pero hindi ako.  Dun narin sya nagstart mambabae. So I guess dala dala parin nya ang insecurities nya, anuman ang cause nun, hindi ko alam. Pero nung BF/GF palang nga kami, we did not have premarital sex, so baka para sa kanya, hindi pa nya ako "conquered". But nung kinasal na kami, na naconquer na nyako, nagwala na sya ng todo.  Pero nangyari na ang nangyari at I just happened to be a victim of his insecurities.

[Queen Chokolah]

^Hays. Mahirap sis kasi mag asawa na kayo. Talagang wala ka ng kawala.

For me okay lang naman yung sumasama pag may mga lakad ka. Pero purpose should be, makilala ang friends mo, hnd para bantayan ka sa mga kilos mo o bakuran ka from ibang guys. Ako pag me mga lakad ako minsan invite ko sya para makilala rin sya ng mga friends ko. Pero not all the time naman. Pero yung pagbabawalan ka lumabas ng hindi sya kasama, hindi na makatarungan yun.

I remember yung ex bf ko nung college, ganyan din. Super maka strikto. Sya yung typical na abusado talaga. Alam niyang mahal na mahal sya kaya umaabuso. Sya pa nakikipag break nun, tapos makikipag balikan din. I remember one time nakipag break sya kasi hindi ko nasabi na dadaan ako sa 711 para bumili ng food. Wtf? Haha ewan ko ba, hinayaan ko sya kasi AKALA ko mahal ko sya later on na realize ko hindi pala. Ngayon, he's with his new gf, yung naging gf niya after sakin. At kung OA sya maka strikto sakin, sa girl na yun, OOOOA. Nabasa ko kasi chat conversation nila (dont ask me how lol). Grabe di maka wiwi ang girl pag di sya pumayag. Sila pa rin ngayon i dont know kung nagbago na sya o nagtitiis pa rin yung girl sa kanya. Tsk.

[Queen Chokolah]

^hahaha nasanay sya lahat ng gfs niya ganyan sya. Di pa nakahanap ng katapat e. tsk poor girl kung sila magkakatuluyan.

[Girltalker2]

^Hays. Mahirap sis kasi mag asawa na kayo. Talagang wala ka ng kawala.

Meron kasi hindi na kami 
(parang hay salamat pa!)

For me okay lang naman yung sumasama pag may mga lakad ka. Pero purpose should be, makilala ang friends mo, hnd para bantayan ka sa mga kilos mo o bakuran ka from ibang guys. Ako pag me mga lakad ako minsan invite ko sya para makilala rin sya ng mga friends ko. Pero not all the time naman. Pero yung pagbabawalan ka lumabas ng hindi sya kasama, hindi na makatarungan yun.

Iyan nga di ba, iimbitahin mo. Kaso nga sa tagal namin dati, parang given nanga na lagi kaming magkasama.