Pls HELP!!! I need a good marriage counsellor

[girlie]

I feel so lost... I don't trust my husband anymore! he cheated on me for 1 year!!! worst of all I think the girl is a prostitute!!! she works in a beer house!!! Sobrang sakit kasi ang tagal ng 1 year, binigyan sya ng time ng husband ko! to the point na dinala pa yung anak ko sa babae nya, naikwento sa daddy nya na meron syang kasalanan! na may babae sya! pero hindi ko sya maintindihan kung bakit kailangan nya  pa ipaalam sa babae nya na kilala na sya ng daddy nya! yun ang pinagmamalaki ng kabit nyang yun! na nakita na daw nya anak ko, na kilala na daw sya ng daddy ng asawa ko at nadala na din daw sya sa mga kamaganak ng asawa ko pero hindi naman sya nakita! yun nga lang napakasakit naman sakin! my husband keeps on telling me na hindi nya mahal yung babae at walang halaga sa kanya pero nung nalaman ko na hinahalikan nya sa lips yung babae nagwala na ko kasi diba love na nya pag ganun?
we are in a process of fixing our marriage dahil may 3 kaming anak! please mga sis i need a marriage counselor pwedeng pastor or psychologist...

[BDJ]

Curious lang ako. Why do you need counselor? Meaning gusto mo pa makipagsettle sa asawa mong nangangaliwa pero wala kang plano na hiwalayan siya or even file a case?

Wala akong marerecommend na marriage counselor although parang may nakita na ako dito sa board na kung saan merong marriage counselor. Gusto ko rin nito kahit hindi pa ako married nun. Hindi naman namin kailangan pero gusto ko lang na makaattend sa ganito for more knowledge.

[bonita111809]

Sis, I'm not a marriage counselor or a pastor but I'll still give you the best advice I could give. I know you're going through a hard time right now. But don't listen to the mistress, listen to your husband.

Sa kanya ka dapat nakikipag-usap at hindi dapat sa kabitch na yan.she will demean you,tell you things so you'll hate your husband and when you call it off with him,she will have her chance of keeping him.

Nung sinabi ng husband mo na wala lang yun sa kanya, he's telling the truth coz come to think of it, baket pa sya mag-eexplain sayo at sasabihin ang bagay na yan kung talagang mahal nya yung kabit? Chance na nya sana yan para iwan ka.a man who doesn't love you wouldn't take his time in explaining his side because he doesn't care anymore.

It's not true that when a guy kisses another woman on the lips,he already loves her.hindi ganyan magpakita ng pagmamahal ang lalake.kung talagang mahal nya yung kabit,he will profess his love for her publicly at wala syang pakialam kahit masaktan ka na misis nya,he will protect her and provide for her.pero anong sinabi nya? "WALA LANG YUN" it was a casual habitual sex escapade for him. Ang mainam mong gawin is kausapin mo sya at tanungin mo kung bakit nya nagawa yun.ask details from him of how long the affair has been going on.kelangan mong tanggapin kahit masakit. Kapag sinabi na nya sayo yung rason, bumalik ka dito and I'll tell you what to do. Wag na wag mong aawayin o susugurin yung kabit. You're better than that. Wag mong ibaba ang level mo sa level nya. Pokpok lang sya. Ikaw misis ka ng nagparaos sa kanya. Don't give her the pleasure of seeing you devastated.

[bonita111809]

let me also add girlie, don't fix your marriage because of your children. Fix it because you love him. when your children are all grown up, you and your husband will be left behind. kayong dalawa ang magsasama at yung mga anak nyo gagawa ng sarili nilang mga pamilya.


when you finally choose to forgive, forgive with all your heart. kalimutan mo ang lahat ng kasalanan nya and focus on his good traits. wag mong uungkatin yung kasalanan nya because that will remind him of his weakness. wag kang magtatamang hinala at wag mo syang hihigpitan. don't give conditions when you forgive him because true love is unconditional. be a better wife. don't nag. go back to the first few months of your relationship when everything was all happy memories. bring back the old flame.


most importantly, pray. magdasal ka na pawiin ng nasa itaas ang galit na nararamdaman mo. pray that you'll be strong amidst all the trials. lagi mong tatandaan na mahal ka ng asawa mo kaya sayo parin sya umuuwi.

[vermich]

Dear girlie,

Marriage counselling can only be a percentage helpful to your marriage if both you and your husband are willing to go through with it. Dapat dalawa kayo hindi lang ikaw ang willing to fix this. And sabi nga ni bonita111809, do not talk to the kabit, do not give the kabit the satisfaction that you are falling apart from the things that you have learned between her and hubby. That's their ploy to easily snatch away your man. Be strong sis since it a long process to go in healing your marriage. Be strong for yourself and do not be afraid to ask for help. There are alot of willing people who wants to help you than you can imagine. 

[Girltalker2]

I feel so lost... I don't trust my husband anymore! he cheated on me for 1 year!!! worst of all I think the girl is a prostitute!!! she works in a beer house!!! Sobrang sakit kasi ang tagal ng 1 year, binigyan sya ng time ng husband ko! to the point na dinala pa yung anak ko sa babae nya, naikwento sa daddy nya na meron syang kasalanan! na may babae sya! pero hindi ko sya maintindihan kung bakit kailangan nya  pa ipaalam sa babae nya na kilala na sya ng daddy nya! yun ang pinagmamalaki ng kabit nyang yun! na nakita na daw nya anak ko, na kilala na daw sya ng daddy ng asawa ko at nadala na din daw sya sa mga kamaganak ng asawa ko pero hindi naman sya nakita! yun nga lang napakasakit naman sakin! my husband keeps on telling me na hindi nya mahal yung babae at walang halaga sa kanya pero nung nalaman ko na hinahalikan nya sa lips yung babae nagwala na ko kasi diba love na nya pag ganun?
we are in a process of fixing our marriage dahil may 3 kaming anak! please mga sis i need a marriage counselor pwedeng pastor or psychologist...

Willing ba ang husband mo to also attend the sessions with the counselor?  Basta willing kayong dalawa to make it work, try to make it work.  Basta sincere yung asawa mo.

Teka sis, sino ba kausap mo, asawa mo or yung kabit nya?  Are you sure na totoo ang  mga pinagsasabi ng kabit nya or sinasabi lang nya yun para lalo kang mainis at lalo mong awayin ang asawa mo?

Tama sila, do not speak to the kabit, she should be the last person na dapat mong kausapin. Just speak to your counselor, kung anong best thing to do.

Sa kanya ka dapat nakikipag-usap at hindi dapat sa kabitch na yan.she will demean you,tell you things so you'll hate your husband and when you call it off with him,she will have her chance of keeping him.

Nung sinabi ng husband mo na wala lang yun sa kanya, he's telling the truth coz come to think of it, baket pa sya mag-eexplain sayo at sasabihin ang bagay na yan kung talagang mahal nya yung kabit? Chance na nya sana yan para iwan ka.a man who doesn't love you wouldn't take his time in explaining his side because he doesn't care anymore.

I disagree here.  You need to stand on your own and observe muna.  Kelangan timplahin mo muna ang sincerity ng asawa mo. Kasi kung nagtrust ka na agad, na sabi nya sayo wala yun or wala na (pero meron pa pala), eh di lalo kang humukay ng mas malalim na hukay for yourself.

The thing is, you won't know he is telling the truth until you give it some time and see it from his actions.  Sincere ba sya sa sorry nya, etc.

Sis bonita, may mga tao kasi na likas na sinungaling. May mga tao, gusto nila ikeep ang family nila, pero meron din babae on the side.  At marami sila. Maraming lalaki nga na mahal ang asawa at pamilya nila, pero marami din kinakalantari. The reason is may iba lang silang hanap sa iba, but they still love their families.  Ang tawag ko sa mga taong ganyan ay selfish - kasi higit sa lahat, sarili lang nila ang pinakamamahal nila.

[bonita111809]

I disagree here.  You need to stand on your own and observe muna.  Kelangan timplahin mo muna ang sincerity ng asawa mo. Kasi kung nagtrust ka na agad, na sabi nya sayo wala yun or wala na (pero meron pa pala), eh di lalo kang humukay ng mas malalim na hukay for yourself.

The thing is, you won't know he is telling the truth until you give it some time and see it from his actions.  Sincere ba sya sa sorry nya, etc.

Sis bonita, may mga tao kasi na likas na sinungaling. May mga tao, gusto nila ikeep ang family nila, pero meron din babae on the side.  At marami sila. Maraming lalaki nga na mahal ang asawa at pamilya nila, pero marami din kinakalantari. The reason is may iba lang silang hanap sa iba, but they still love their families.  Ang tawag ko sa mga taong ganyan ay selfish - kasi higit sa lahat, sarili lang nila ang pinakamamahal nila.

ayaw ng lalake ng hassle sis, believe me. if a guy is still cheating despite of saying sorry, it only means he's sticking around for the kids or talagang hindi maganda ang trato ni misis sa kanya pagkatapos magpatawad kuno. kasi alam nila na hindi na nila makikita ang mga anak nila kapag naghiwalay silang mag-asawa. when a guy says he's sorry and proves that he is regretting what he did, he truly is. malalaman mo naman kung sincere eh.gagawin nya lahat mapatawad lang sya. basta ba hindi ka lang mabubulagan ng galit mo. hindi maiaalis na mag-worry but the wife need not to show that. kahit mahirap, kelangan ipakita ni misis na talagang nagpatawad na sya.

kung hindi naman nya kayang gawin yun, mas mabuting manghingi ng space kesa naman panay ang away at tamang hinala si misis. lalong lalayo ang loob ni mister pag ganun.

sa mga lalakeng mahal ang asawa pero naglalandi parin, sex lang ang habol nyan sa iba. spontaneity is the spice of a relationship. that's why the wife should try different things with her husband and keep an open communication. lahat naman nadadaan sa matinong usapan.

[girlie]

kaya pala sinabi ni husband na pupunta sya ng singapore para daw makatakas na sya sa kabit nya, dahil gusto daw nya ng graceful exit para hindi daw isipin na sya ang masama, pero nalaman ko na ilang beses na sya nakipaghiwalay dun pero pinupuntahan pa din nya kasi text daw ng text. tapos kaya daw natuloy ulit dahil magsuicide daw si kabit! pero kahit sinabi nya na pupunta sya ng singapore, tuloy pa din sya sa pakikipag sex sa kabit nya.

[bonita111809]

sis, matanong ko lang. paano kayo ng husband mo nung mga panahon before sya magloko kung tatantyahin mo yung mga buwan?paano ang relationship nyo?ok ba kayo?sabi mo kasi may problema kayo financially.nangyare ba yun before sya magloko or habang nagloloko na sya?paano ka bilang misis sa kanya?


sorry kung tinatanong ko lahat yan pero wag mo sanang mamasamain.I can sense that he's being honest when he told you that maalaga yung babae. if he's getting this treatment at home, he will never look for it outside.


to be honest, maganda si girl that's why it's so easy for her to lure your husband. dagdagan mo pa na binibigay nya yung mga posibleng pagkukulang mo sa husband mo, talagang maho-hook sya. I'm not trying to put you down. I'm just giving you reasons why he cheated on you.


sa estado mo ngayon sis, I suggest magpakalma ka muna. wag mong hayaang kainin ka ng galit mo. kung gusto mong patawarin ang asawa mo, you have to do it whole & kindheartedly kasi once na magpatawad ka, tuloy tuloy na dapat yan. dapat magmove on ka totally at hindi mo na dapat balikan ang nakaraan. sa sinasabi mo naman about sa pinapakita ng asawa mo, mahal ka pa nya. pero hindi nya maiwan yung isa kasi there's something good in her that he can no longer see in you. kaya sya nagsinungaling about dun sa mga ginagawa nila kase he doesn't want to hurt you. mas masasaktan ka kapag nalaman mo pa yung mga detalye. and do you know why he can't commit to the mistress? kasi nga hindi nya yun mahal. ikaw ang mahal nya. kaya use that love he still have for you to bring him back to you, yun eh kung willing kang patawarin sya.


dalawa lang naman ang pwede mong gawin, it's either you leave or you stay and be a better wife. if you can't change the situation, change your attitude towards it. most of all, pray. makakatulong yan.

[girlie]

sis inamin nya sakin na boredom daw ang tingin nyang dahilan kasi excited nga sya dito sa kabit nya at magaling daw sa sex, tapos meron pa syang companion kasi gumigimik talaga sila at umiinom. 1 year na nyang ginagawa to, kung iisipi ko hindi naman worst ang relationship namin bilang husband and wife a year ago, inaamin ko hindi ako sobrang maalaga kasi almost every year ako pregnant tapos cesarean pa ko, yun nga lang mejo nasakal ko sya kasi hindi ko gano pinapaalis dahil wala akong katulong sa house,then nung time na hinayaan ko which is a year ago nga, naging maluwag ako at binigay ko yung freedom na gusto niya, eto naman nangyari nagloko sya! naloko kasi kami sa business kaya nung inaayos nya a year ago nga, eto naman pala ang inatupag nya. ngayon nga narealize ko na magasawa lang kami kasi hindi kami naging magkaibigan habang nagsasama, sobrang opposite kasi namin,before ko matuklasan to sobrang worst na talaga ng pagsasama namin kasi I felt unwanted that time, ang lamig lamig ng pakitungo nya sakin, tapos if may occasions, pinangungunahan nya ko na wag na daw akong sumama, hindi nya tinatanggap yung mga pagsilbi ko sa kanya, lagi syang galit sakin to the point na sinabi nyang hindi na sya masaya sakin at wala na syang respeto sakin, but that was weeks before ko to natuklasan. kaya iniisip ko na talang masaya sya dun kasi hindi na sya gumagawa ng way para mapahalagahan ako, hindi nga sya nagttxt kung uuwi ba sya o hindi. actually sis alam ng ibang friends nya na may babae sya, yung pinsan nya, kapatid nya, at daddy nya alam nila pero walang nakapagpigil sa kanya sa kalokohan nya.  sabi ng husband ko marami daw lumalapit sa kanya mas maganda daw pero hindi nya pinapansin, nahook daw talaga sya dito.  actually sis, nung nakita ko sya hindi talaga ako nagandahan kasi mukha syang cheap at madungis. mukha na nga syang matanda at ang layo ng looks nila ng asawa ko... kaya nagtaka ako at parang physical attractions muna ang nangyari sa kanila kasi may getting to know each other stage sila. actually sa looks sinasabi ng husband ko na hindi panget kabit nya at sexy nga daw. nagkaproblem muna kami financially bago nangyari to kaya lalo akong galit sa kanya kasi kahulihulihang kusing dun nya pa ginastos! hindi daw nya maiwan kasi naaawa sya at hindi nya alam kung pano suklian yung ginawang kabutihan sa kanya.  what do you think sis, deserving ba sya bigyan ng second chance? nahihirapan kasi akong isipin na parang nakikipagkumpitensya na ko dun sa kabitch nya! in terms of sex, care, love etc. lahat affected na...

[narz83]

may friend akong kabit, at isa ako sa mga confidante nya. talagang likas na sinungaling ang mga lalaki. iniwan na ng friend ko yong bf nya na may asawa when everything came out from the open but the guy kept on coming back to her,calling her everyday, emailing her.. nagmamakaawa na hwag sya nitong iwan, while on the other side aminado ang guy na inaayos nya ang marriage nya for his 2 kids. we heard they went thru marriage counselling and bible study every weekend, how disgusting, right? habang this man is confessing his love to my friend, who happened to be his long-time kabitch.. ye, for more or less 7 years ata (im not sure basta its like that, she was 22 when they started at mag 29 na sya now) yong friend ko naman, ta**a. maganda,sexy,maganda ang trabaho dun sya nagpapakaburo sa lalaking yon. Le*tek na pag-ibig! ayoko na nga makinig sa kanya lately coz nasisira tingin ko sa mga lalaki.

[aquacharly]

GIRLIE, calm down. Think clearly.
Your emotions are going haywire, which is but normal for someone betrayed.
But now more than at any other time, you must get a hold of yourself & gather your strength.
You must think through the hurt & confusion.
Before you go to a marriage counsellor, IMO, it will be more helpful for you to go to a counsellor/psychologist to sort yourself.  Vent your emotions, be helped to sort these out.  IMO, kasi --  emotions can feed on itself -- and obstructs clear thinking.   It does not help to make life-changing decisions based on emotions. 

Go to a competent & non-judgmental counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist.

Some recommendations:

ROSE YENKO
SOPHIE SIM-BATE
BERNIE NEPOMUCENO
DIDO VILLASOR

[aquacharly]

All I can say, GIRLIE - sa tanong mo if he deserves a second chance:   Is he truly asking for another chance with you, or is he asking for you to throw him out?
Face The Truth, either way your marriage goes, The Truth will set you free.

Hindi como he wants to dump the kab1tch eh kasi he wants another chance with you.  Baka it is the same reason why he betrayed you: nasasakal sya.  Now, it is the kab1tch doing it.  (also, think over the correlation between problems/financial demands vs his fidelity. Some, some lang ha -- some men cop out or cheat  pag nalulula sa financial or other serious problems. They can't face it, so they lose themselves elsewhere). 

Assuming he IS asking for Another Chance with you -- sure, give him a 2nd Chance, for whatever reason. Kahit na it is as simple a complex reason as:  " I still love him. "
BUT,  IF there is True Remorse & Reform on his part:   There, your 2nd Chance will have a greater probability of yielding good results.  Otherwise, humanda ka for another/3rd/4th/5th/etc Chance.   

[narz83]

@bonita111809 sis,they are going out publicly, they even have circle of friends who happens to be a friend also of the wife at alam na ng halos lahat ng kakilala nila ang about sa kanila,i think for that long period of time, nagsuspetsa na si TLW pero as what i have known nagmamanhid manhiran lang yong wifey. And sa pagkakaalam ko, nobody dared to tell TLW, kahit mga kapatid ng lalaki, alam nila and accepted nila yong friend namin. At nung nagkahulihan na, sa harap pa mismo ng TLW tinawag nung lalaki na "honey" yong kabitch nya kahit nagkakagulo na. Grabe iyak at sigaw ni TLW kasi dinig na dinig nya nagsorry pa sa kabitch yong husband nya. Nakakaloka! I knew the whole detail from our boss coz the wife came to the boss office to complain for our friend. Pero wala ding nangyari kasi yong company namin ayaw makialam sa personal na buhay ng employees nila. Kung ako man ang nasa situation ng bawat party, di ako alam ano gagawin ko. Excruciating ang pain at torturing for the wife. At ang magaling na lalaki naman sinasabi pa rin sa kabitch niya na maghintay hintay lang til the wife gives up at mahal na mahal pa rin daw nya nito. Oo naman, inuntog namin yong friend namin and we stopped talking to her during the incident, she had her quite moment. Iniwasan ng friend namin yong guy for few months but there was some time this month pinabasa nya samin email nong guy. Nakakasuka! Di ko keri! Wala na akong masabi.

[bonita111809]

kahit ano pang sabihin ng friend mo sis narz, kung talagang ayaw nya na iiwas sya. mas pinalalala nya ang sitwasyon ng mag-asawa. sa 7 years na yun, proud sya na kilala sya ng lahat? as what? a mistress. proud sya nun? walang karangalan ang maging isang kabit sis narz. kahit ano pang rason meron si mister kung baket sya nahumaling sa iba, ang pinakamatinding rason talaga is dahil may babaeng pumapayag maging kabit at alam ng lalake yun. kahit alam ng lahat ng tao na sila pero hindi sa kanya umuuwi yung lalake, hindi pa rin matatawag na pagmamahal yun. alam ba ng relatives ng lalake about sa kaibigan mo aside from the siblings? how about the guy's parents? aunties? uncles? buong angkan? sana matauhan na ng husto yung kaibigan mo at wag nang padadala sa lalakeng yan. she already wasted 7 yrs of her life for temporary happiness.

[girlie]

sis bonita im now focusing on your advice about how to know if a man loves a woman, please help me to clear things out, gustong gusto ko na maenlighten. as of this moment wala pa kong decision, alam yun ng husband ko, pero we are always going out kasi dun ako masaya na kasama sya..pag hindi ko kasi sya kasama paranoid ako... but im not yet ready to be a wife again, but to be his friend ready na ko.. please enlighten me with the following:

1. profess his love publicly- their going out like eating in a fancy restaurant, they watched movie once lang daw and my husband chose cheap mall with cinemas kasi ayaw daw nya mag mall kasama yung girl, but still umalis sila para manood ng sine kahit pa sabihin ng husband ko na lagi daw yun nagyayaya pero ayaw nya, pag may break time yung girl he make time para mag miryenda sila, gumigimik sila like inuman sa bar hanggang sa malasing sya eh hindi naman sya naglalasing ng sobra, planado mga lakad nila, talagang may binigay na oras husband ko and halaga kasi nakwento nya pa sa friends nya, kuya nya, pinsan at worst sa daddy nya pero lagi nya sinasabi na nakwento daw nya hindi dahil sa proud sya kundi gusto lang nyang ishare na may kasalanan sya. hindi naman daw sila naghoholding hand or akbay pero ewan ko kung totoo,kasi he made time pa talaga na iabot yung gift nyang perfume kahit kasama nya anak ko, tapos sa kwento nya lagi silang magkasama kumain, gumimik, etc. sis hindi ba yan showing of his love sa kabitch nya? tapos nalaman ko din na nung pumunta sya ng greenhills to buy pasalubong for his dad na nasa US kasama nya kabitch nya, then after mamili diretso na sila sa kamaganak nya para ibigay yung napamili nila, kahit nasa car lang yung girl, napakawalanghiya naman ng asawa ko para dalhin dun. tapos constant texting sila ha, as in every night ata sila nagttxt.

2. provide for her- for 1 year pagkinocompute ko sobrang laki ng gastos nya, to think that we are not financially stable at crisis pa nga eh. negative na kami pero libre pa din nya lahat sa girl, tapos nung nagbirthday party yun sa bar sya pa nagbayad sa kanya daw kasi inabot nung waiter yung bill.
yung mga anak nga namin hindi nya mabilhan ng clothes at toys eh!

3. protect her- nalaman ko na hinahatid nya pa sa pampanga yung kabit nya, grabe ang layo ng pampanga at nageffort pa talaga sya to think na sinasabi nya na past time lang daw nya yun, ngayon ang sabi nya naaawa lang daw sya at mga 2 to 3 times lang daw nya yun naihatid. tapos pag text ng text yung babae nung time na hiniwalayan nya kasi naglalasing daw, ayun pupuntahan nya nanaman at hindi nya matiis kaya tuloy nanaman sila sa pagkikita at sex, tapos one time nung hiniwalayan nya ulit same story din but this time may drama na na magpapakamatay daw yung babae kaya hindi nya maiwan, kaya naisip ng husband ko na kunwari na lang punta sya singapore to work.  tapos harapan kaming tatlo yung babae nanaman prinotektahan nya, as in sa harap ko sinabi nya na naging malalim sila, kasi daw sinabi nya yun para hindi mag eskandalo yung babae at tawag nya pa dun yung pet name nila na "Boss", tapos after ng confrontation namin sa cp naman sila nag usap ayaw nanaman nya masaktan babae nya kasi naging mabuti daw sa kanya, eh ako daw alam nya na hindi ako mageeskandalo, later na lang daw nya aayusin yung akin kasi baka manira daw yung babae kasi uneducated nga. kaya rinig na rinig ko na sinabi nya na "minahal" nung tinanong nung babae kung minahal ba sya ng asaw ko.  alam mo sis nakakainis yung asawa ko kasi parang ayaw nya talaga masaktan yung babae, hinihintay ko nga sabihin nya na mahal niya ko dun sa girl pero ang sinasabi nya, alam mo naman diba una pa lang hindi ko kayang ipagpalit pamilya ko, mga anak ko.

hanggang ngayon hirap pa din akong mag move on kasi ang iniisip ko naiinis ako kasi may sineryosong iba asawa ko. nung una nga ang sabi nya "kung mahal ko sya siguro konting konti lang"

[narz83]

@ sis girlie habang binabasa ko post mo, sis, iniisip kong ikaw ang asawa na kinabitan ng friend ko. lahat kasi ng namention mo sa pagkakaalala ko, nangyari na sa kanila eh. kilala na din sya ng mga pamilya ng guy. they are going out too. in fact, may bahay na silang tinitirhan. at malalim na din pinagsamahan nila. naalala ko noon ng magwala yong girl kasi lumalabas na pinuprotektahan pa ng lalakeng yon ang friend namin, dahil narinig ko sa usap usapan sa company namin na nagkakasakitan na nga daw ang mag asawa dahil pinipigilan na ng husband yong TLW na mag iskandalo. at yang dine out na yan, isa yan sa naalala ko sa email nung guy na palagi nalang daw nyang inaaliw yong wife nya, kumain sa labas with kids para madivert ang attention at di na mang away. at sagad na daw credit card nya sa kakabili ng kung ano ano for the wife at wala na daw naiiwan sa sahod nya. ewan ko ba bakit ganun. at sa kab1tch pa naglalabas ng mga hinaing tong mga lalakeng ito. i can feel how much this situation hurts you as the TLW, parang natatakot na nga din akong mag asawa because of this. :/
i am confuse, so confuse sa sincerity ng mga lalake.

[aquacharly]

There is no abuser where there is no victim.
There are times bad things happen to The Undeserving because they ALLOW it to happen to them.

A crisis  can yield good things. 1 is it slaps you to FACE The Truth about yourself, about your spouse, about your marriage.

I am one for not burning bridges.   But one must accept Love cannot be forced.
Another thing:  it's not the kab1tch -- it's the husband that's the issue.
As a betrayed BFF. Recently told me (in Tagalog, it was more graphic):    Nobody holds his d1ck, it goes where he chooses it to land. 

[narz83]

@aquacharly the best talaga mga advices mo, sis. pag ikaw na nagsalita bongga! naeenlighten ako.. so realistic, fair and practical.
i also remember what ms. kris aquino said in buzz ng bayan once.. yong husband daw talaga sisisihin nya because it's his own vow to their marriage ang sinira nya mismo. ang husband daw kasi ang nanumpa at sya mismo sumira.
kaya, i couldn't agree more to what you just posted, sis aquacharly -it's the husband's BIG issue.

[cecilydee]

sis girlie, nasubaybayan ko ang kwento mo bago ito na "filter"

I can feel your frustrations at naglalaban talaga ang pagmamahal mo sa asawa mo versus doing the right thing.

Hihiwalayan mo ba or mag iistay kapa? sabi ni sis aquacharly, humihingi ba siya ng second chance or sadyang sinasagot lang niya ang curiosity mo. pag isipan mo ng mabuti ito...

You are obviously trying to make excuses for his actions why? you keep on feeding yourself information about his kabit and their se*capades. why do you put salt in an open wound? pinahihirapan mo lang sarili mo lalo. hindi ka pa handa sa malalaman mo dahil napapraning ka na ngyon. (i think walang wife ang magiging handa, anyway...) huwag mo nang pasukin ang mundo na hindi mo alam kung paano ka lalabas. (ang mundo ng kabit information)

may anak ka sis, nakita ko ang mga post mo bago pa itong latest mo about your husband's infidelity. Nabasa ko kung gaano ka naging good mother to your kid dahil gusto mo ng best sa kanya. Why dont you put all your energy to your kid rather than your philandering husband muna? i think eto ang pinaka practical na gawin mo ngyon rather than trying to save your marriage. (kasal na ba kayo?) magulo pa kasi ang nasa isip mo ngyon at wala kang conretong desisyon dahil punong puno ng sakit ang nasa puso mo.

there are several instances kung bakit naiisip kong hindi pa sigurado ang asawa mo na makipagbalikan sayo. sabi niya, hindi niya ito maiwan dahil sa kabaitan na ginawa ng kabit. obviously hindi niya alam kung ano ang morally right sa hindi. mas mabigat pa pala ang suklian ang pagiging maalaga compare sa responsibilidad niya bilang asawa?

sis again, i am pressing this thing: take care of your kid first. the kid is much important. mas kailangan niya ang kalinga mo rather than your husband.