Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 5)

[simang]

^if he wants to get back to you, he will get back to you.

[sugardrop]

Lesson learned: it is never a good idea na ihirit yung break break na yan pag may away or selos kasi it has a negative impact on them and nakaka-puno din which ultimately leads him to just agreeing with it na parang "ako pa tinakot mo". Pwede pa makalusot yung isang hirit pero pag more than that, they might view it as a threat and then get fed up and give in to what you want.

And if he really wants you back, he will make it known to you. Give him time to clear his head and eventually decide if he wants you back or not. But if it's more than two months na, then maybe it's time for you to think.

[nixiquita]

I have to agree with sis sugar drop. nakakapuno talaga yung ambilis bilis makipagbreak o nagtthreaten ng breakup sa mga petty fights lang. ayaw ko rin kasi ng ganon. i feel frustrated and nakakawala ng gana thinking na ganon lang ako kadali bitawan at iwan. its just like telling your SO na deadend na yung relationship and only a breakup will solve all your problems and issues in the relationship. parang pinapamukha na "wala na solusyon, kung meron man, i give up, its not worth fixing, lets just breakup." Nakakawala din ng tiwala kasi ganon lang pala kadali bumitaw. And syempre nakakaaffect ng selfesteem hanggang sa masanay na siya at wala nang pake maghabol or mageffort pa once na brineak na siya kasi napuno na at iisipin "okay, im done. you finally get what you want" tas theres no more turninf back. breakup kung breakup. sawa na, paninindigan na, kasi ininculcate mo na sa mind niya yung idea ng breakup dahil paulit ulit.

[jMo]

I could tell you some obvious body language ng girls, but why ruin the fun? mamaya kapag nabasa mo, 'di mo na gawin...hahaha

hehe I like your answer 

uhm question, What are the thing/s na nakaka turn off sa inyo sa isang girl, uhm yung usual answer sana.

[killbill]

I just caught my boyfriend cheating on me. Gusto kong gumanti at isend sa mga barkada nya yung video nya nagshoshower. Should i do it? Gustong gusto ko talaga kaso may provocative akong pic sa kanya although hindi naman kita mukha ko. Sobrang badtrip talaga ako kaya kung [textspeak!] ano nang naiisip ko

[j.adore]

Hmm, tatawanan lang nila yun. Besides, would that type of revenge help with how you're feeling right now? Don't do it.

[Pink_Sugar]

^may kasama sa shower sis? Benta mo sa porn sites. Lol joke!

[sugardrop]

What do you wish to accomplish in sending that shower video? His friends will just tease him and that's it. You're better than that. The better form of revenge is showing him that it's his loss and he made a big mistake cheating on you by becoming a much better person.

[zeroone]

^sis j.adore, you're right. at masasabi ko nakatulong yung di kami nag-usap for a month para makapag-isip-isip ako. tama sya pa pursue pursue pa ko further studies bobo naman sa pag ibig



zeroone di ba ayaw ng boys ng hinahabol? o gusto nyo rin? pano nyo ba gusto ligawan?

ayaw ng lalaki ng hinahabol sa early stage ng relationship. sa ligawan dahil may perception na cheap ang girl. it;s different kapag may past na kayo.

the issue is he knows what he'll get himself into kapag bumalik sya sa yo. baka he's thinking of finding a girl to settle down na and di nya nakikita sa yo na magiging maayos kayo dahil sa attitude mo, assuming na ikaw lang talaga may problema.

how old are you TS? mejo childish kasi yan, no offense. baka naman talaga chick bait si guy mo. but you have to get past that. hellish ang relationship na walang trust. most people here will agree. im sure you;re having sleepless nights dahil sa selos. it ain;t healthy. fix yourself before you run after him. of fix yourself for someone new.

kaya mo yan, ganyan talaga.

[Girltalker2]

busy rin lifestyle. we're both in a career na demanding time. nag-aaral rin kami pareho.

kahit busy pa kayo, kung conscious kayong dalawa to maintain and nurture your relationship, magagawan ninyo ng paraan.

tsaka matanda na sya. nasa 30s na. so sabi nga ng friend nya ma comfort ako sa fact na di na maglalaro yun sa age nya.

Not necessarily sis. I have met guys na 40yo single pa. Why?  Kasi they have not yet found someone to commit to, and nag eenjoy talaga sila ng singlehood nila. Hindi bakla. may pagka *sshole lang.

sabi mama nya sa edad nyang yung 2 lang kami pinakilala nya e. [textspeak!] last one pa parang decade ago na yun!

Iba narin naman ang modus ng mga guys ngayon eh. dadalhin ka to meet the family, tapos syempre family really really wants him to settle down. So syempre ib-buildup din nila yung anak nila.

dapat pala naging mindset ko napasabi ko si ex na "you are worth the wait." kasi kahit may flings sya e di nya naman napakilala. and i know nag antay sya ng love na katulad ng na feel nya sakin. sobra dami sacrifices nya

di ko na alam gagawin ko to win him back

hindi po ako nag cheat. napuno lang sya sa selos ko at sa mga misinterpretation ko sa mga sinasabi or ginagawa nya. tapos ako nakipag break. twice pa... magkasunod. so yun pangalawa tipong "o di break na ayaw mo na e." di ko na nabago isip nya :/

Sis, sorry to break the news ha, ang guys hindi tulad ng girls. Hindi mo sila mawin back kung ayaw na talaga nila.

And sa attitude ng ex mo, any BF should not allow you to feel jealous or insecure. 
Ngayon akala mo pa misinterpretation. Pero most often, tama ang kutob ng babae.

Pero opinion ko lang naman iyan. Basta sa kwento mo, hindi sya worth pursuing, magfocus ka nalang sa studies mo, mas maraming mas ok na guys kesa sa kanya na hindi ka papaselosin.

Oo nga naman, who am I to say this?  I have only been to 2 relationships in my life. My ex and my BF. Pero huwag ka, sa ex ko, super feel ko ang insecurity na minsan naiisip ko what's wrong with me. Wala naman daw. Wala na naman daw sila ng mistress nya. And then later, magdudududa na naman ako, mag-a-ask na naman ako ng time with him, etc.  Endless arguments, pero ano ang bottomline?  He was not willing to work it out.  Yes, may times siguro nagseseslos ako pero ayaw ko aminin. With my current BF, nas-sense nya, and he won't allow such a feeling in me to take place.  Sabi ko - no it's fine, I will get over it.  Sasabihin pa nya - no, don't ever think that, tapos mag eeffort talaga sya. 

Point is, kung walang effort ang guys, huwag ka narin mag aksaya otherwise kahit ipilit mo now, sooner or later, pareho lang sa square one ang situation mo.

tama sya pa pursue pursue pa ko further studies bobo naman sa pag ibig

sis, are you serious? and you agree with him?

ano ka ba?  ang pag aaral ay something that no one can take away from you.  You study, you succeed.

Sa love, yes, you need age and experience to go with it.  Kaya lesson learned for you, at least for your love 101, dont ever chase guys, guys like your ex who are not anymore interested is not worth your time.

Hindi ideal ang mga guys na nagbibitiw ng mga salita na ganyan. Ano sila expert? 
Humanap ka na ng iba, for God's sake, please!  The guy you want right now, is not worth it! 

[estelle21]

ayaw ng lalaki ng hinahabol sa early stage ng relationship. sa ligawan dahil may perception na cheap ang girl. it;s different kapag may past na kayo.

the issue is he knows what he'll get himself into kapag bumalik sya sa yo. baka he's thinking of finding a girl to settle down na and di nya nakikita sa yo na magiging maayos kayo dahil sa attitude mo, assuming na ikaw lang talaga may problema.

how old are you TS? mejo childish kasi yan, no offense. baka naman talaga chick bait si guy mo. but you have to get past that. hellish ang relationship na walang trust. most people here will agree. im sure you;re having sleepless nights dahil sa selos. it ain;t healthy. fix yourself before you run after him. of fix yourself for someone new.

kaya mo yan, ganyan talaga.

tama ka sis. i'm in my ealry 20s pa lang kasi. laki talaga age agap namin kaya siguro ganto na lang yung reaksyon ko.

tama ka e dapat magbago muna talaga ko. maalis ko lahat ng ayaw nya. kasi di babalik hanggat ginagawa ko pa rin yung mga bagay na di nya gusto.

thanks sis ha. tama yung mga sinabi mo.

[sugardrop]

^
If there's one ultimate reason as to why you should fix yourself, it should be for yourself alone and not just to win back some guy. Do it because you want to be a better version of yourself like estelle21 v2.0 and not just as an effort for him to come running back to you.

[sugardrop]

And what happens if he doesn't come back to you after all the effort you've done to be the woman he wishes you to be? Dear, the scary part is you might end up questioning your self worth or keep asking what's wrong with you, nagbago ka na naman, ano pa ba kulang, etc.

[zeroone]

tama ka sis. i'm in my ealry 20s pa lang kasi. laki talaga age agap namin kaya siguro ganto na lang yung reaksyon ko.

tama ka e dapat magbago muna talaga ko. maalis ko lahat ng ayaw nya. kasi di babalik hanggat ginagawa ko pa rin yung mga bagay na di nya gusto.

thanks sis ha. tama yung mga sinabi mo.

guy here actually, haha

^
If there's one ultimate reason as to why you should fix yourself, it should be for yourself alone and not just to win back some guy. Do it because you want to be a better version of yourself like estelle21 v2.0 and not just as an effort for him to come running back to you.

agree with this, do it for the right reasons. however, yung pagseselos ng walang dahilan is generally ayaw ng lalaki. you'll piss off even the most loyal guy. you don't necessarily have to change and then run after him, might be too late then. give assurance that you'll try to work on your self issues and ask assurance from him that he'll be loyal or make you feel secure at least.

[Girltalker2]

^
If there's one ultimate reason as to why you should fix yourself, it should be for yourself alone and not just to win back some guy. Do it because you want to be a better version of yourself like estelle21 v2.0 and not just as an effort for him to come running back to you.

True. Kung tama ang pagchange mo, for the better, for a better you. Go ahead. Kaso sa kwento ni estelle, sorry ha, ni hindi namin alam kung mali ba talaga ang pagselos mo.  Paano mo alam na mali ang pagselos mo at ang BF mo ang tama? Minsan dinadaan lang nila sa sindak. Make sure lang na mali ka for you to change like that.

agree with this, do it for the right reasons. however, yung pagseselos ng walang dahilan is generally ayaw ng lalaki. you'll piss off even the most loyal guy. you don't necessarily have to change and then run after him, might be too late then. give assurance that you'll try to work on your self issues and ask assurance from him that he'll be loyal or make you feel secure at least.

Wala ba talagang dahilan?  ano yun may sayad lang yung babae, kaya bigla bigla magseselos?  You see kahit naman mga girls, kung walang katwiran tapos magseselos yung guy, nakakainis rin naman eh. 

Yeah, you piss off a loyal guy. Pero huwag ka, 99% ng mga cheaters, kung i-accuse mo, defensive mechanism din nila iyan na aawayin ka para may way sila na kunwaring "me" time yun pala may iba nang ka date.

I think most important kay estelle (dinedma ako kasi hindi mabenta ang sagot ko haha - but I am just being honest kasi) is to really improve on herself - no matter what. Ke may BF o wala, go make yourself a better person, always, lagi iyan. Never naman tayo magiging perfect, meron at meron tayong ma-i-improve sa sarili natin, kahit ano pa ang edad natin.

 

[estelle21]

@girltalker2 - sorry hindi lang ako nakapag reply. pero tama ka naman. medyo sobrang pessimistic nga lang nung take mo sa mga bagay bagay. parang tamang hinala palagi yung dating. which is ayaw nga nya sa akin kasi feeling nya convict sya na laging iniinterogate.

@zeroone and suagrdrop - yes tama kayo. self improve para sa sarili. di naman talaga pwede i coerce ang isang tao. sabi nga diba the more hinihigpitan the more papalag.

pero sugardrop, sis pwede rin na for now hayaan ko muna sarili ko magka false hope na magkakabalikabn kami for the sake of improvement. para lang makausad. hirap naman hindi paasahin sarili e. kasi along the way pag OK na ako, mawawala rin yung false hope na yun. makausad lang kumbaga,

alam nyo yung parang children's story  na nagpapaligsahan yung araw at yung ulap kung sino makakapagpahubad ng damit ng lalake.

yung ulap buga sya ng buga ng hangin pero ayaw pa rin hubarin ng lalaki damit. lalo lang nilamig and all.

pero yung araw nag shine lang sya at dahil sa warmth nya hinubad na nung lalake yung damit.

mas effortless pa yung pag sa shine kesa sa pagbuga ng hangin, haha wala lang pre school teacher kasi yung friend ko na nag share sakin nyan...

siguro kaya im holding on to false hopes kasi yung friend ko na yung (girl) cheated. syempre nag break sila. 8 months nyang hhinabol si guy pero tinaboy lang sya ng tinaboy. nasasabihan masasakit na salita etc.

so after 8 months nag decide sya mag move on. tapos...nagoa sexy sya. jogging. happy photos inaupload nya. nag ka BF sya na bago.

ssabay biglang bumalik si ex despite all she did. same kami situation e nasa early 20s sya that time and si guy almost nasa late 30s.

syempre tinake back nya si ex tapos buti mabait si rebound BF ni let go lang sya.

so advise nya sakin, stop chasing. na dapat dati ko pa ginawa. kasi sobrang friendly and caring pa si ex after namin mag break e. nasagad sa kakukulit ko. tnatadtad ko texts. pnupuntahan ko s bahay at sa work. pinagsisishan ko na kinulit at pinuno ko sya. noon nagseselos pa eh at nnakasmile pa lagi sakin. ngayon di ko na malapitan kasi sobrang galit na sya. sana sinunod ko na lang sinabi nya na bgyan ng time and space. kasi imbis na friendly and all wala sobrang kaaway na lang tingin nya sa akin ngayon....

[estelle21]

girltalker2:

Sis, sorry to break the news ha, ang guys hindi tulad ng girls. Hindi mo sila mawin back kung ayaw na talaga nila. 

totoo.


stop na talaga ako. kasi kahit ano  namang gawin ko hindi nya naman marirealize yun kapag galing sakin. dapat sya mismo maka realize ng mga pagkukulang nya sa relasyon. busy ngayon e. tadtad work. i know kasi same circle lang talaga kami. as in maliit lang ginagalawan naming MGA mundo.

nabwisit nga kakachase ko e.

actually nagpapaka irational ako pero alam ko naman na kung gusto ko man magkaron kahit maliit na chance na bumalik sya, dapat dati ko pa sya tinantanan pero hindi e.

hay. ang tigas ng ulo ko. -_-

pero sis dami ka naman tamang sinabi. and i need that para magising na rin ako sa false hopes ko.


boys meron ba rito na bumalik sa ex nila ? bakit ?

[slickchick]

I talked to a cousin this evening. Share ko lang story nya, as I really don't know what advice to give her. Hopefully, some sis and bros can give their insights...

My cousin who's in her late 30's has been with this guy for almost a year now. My cousin is also a single mom and she solely supports her 10-year old kid. My cousin earns more than the guy and has a more stable job than the guy. In fairness, the guy is single naman (my cousin was able to verify this). In fairness din,  I have met the guy several times, seen them together with my nephew (my cousin's kid) and from my POV, I think they really love each other. According to my cousin, mabait si guy, very patient and understanding, loyal naman, nagkakasundo talaga sila and the guy really loves my nephew. Here's the catch. Since my cousin earns more than the guy and medyo di stable ang work ni guy, more often than not, my cousin is the one who spends whenever they go out on dates/travel, and sometimes pag may kapos si guy, nag-aabot yung cousin ko. Hindi naman nagco-complain dun yung cousin ko. The thing that really disappoints her is that kapag lumalabas sila para mamasyal or mamili, si guy nagpapabili pa for his pamangkins (the guy is living with his sister na may mga anak na maliit pa). According to my cousin, ok lang naman yung food na iuuwi sa mga bata and sa sis nya kasi pagkain yun. What disappoints her is may instances na hindi lang pagkain ang gusto ipabili ni guy for his pamangkins. Like there was a time na my cousin was buying shirts for my nephew and for the guy, and suddenly si guy nagpabili rin ng shirts for his pamangkins and his sister.  According to my cousin, ok lang naman kung may special occasion like Christmas or birthdays. Kaya lang daw, minsan wala naman occasion, at nagpapabili lang si guy for his pamangkins and sister. For a fact, I know my cousin is just earning enough to support her and my nephew, and after what the guy is doing, nahihirapan na rin mag-save yung cousin ko. There was even a time she borrowed money from me, kasi kinapos na sila na pang-grocery which never happened before.

Honestly, I cannot advice my cousin to break up with the guy kasi I've seen naman how much they love each other, and how the guy treats my nephew. Parang tunay na anak ang treatment. Siguro na lang, is there a nice and subtle way of telling the guy na sana mas maging sensitive sya (especially on the financial aspect)? And is there a nice and subtle way of telling the guy yung tipong "ok lang naman na bilhan ko ng food na pasalubong yung mga pamangkin mo, pero yung kung pati damit at ibang gamit na bibilhan na wala naman occasion, hindi na kaya ng budget ko yun.. "? Looking forward to your advice/insights mga sis and bros... TIA!

[simang]

^maybe a simple "sorry, wala pa akong budget for miscellaneous gastos so di ko muna sila mabibilhan" will do.

Simple, straight to the point, and not offensive.

[Pink_Sugar]

Parang hindi naman nahihiya yung guy na yun. Kasi alam na nga nyang di sya makapag effort sa girl eh magpapabili pa sya para sa mga relatives nya, di sya nakakatuwa.