My husband "abandoned" us

[momentum]

Omg sis im really sorry to hear about your situation
Please tell your parents asap, you need all the help you can get
14yrs of marriage, I can't believe kung gaano sila kagaling magtago!! 
It may be so difficult but you need to keep your head above water.. Focus ka sis on what the other sissies adviced here. Those inlaws better make sure they keep their word na tutulong sila magsustento!! After you give birth sis and have recovered, try to find a better paying job, one that can support the 3 of you.. Just in case.Sis dun ka na sa parents mo tumira, para they can help you take care of your daughter and help you with the pregnancy and when you give birth.


I can't imagine the karma that is waiting (or probably happening already) to your husband and his parents
God does not sleep, always know that.
Pray and be strong! Kaya mo yan sis coz God won't abandon you!

[janachen]

super speechless ako dito... how come na nailihim nya sayo ng 14 years. At yung inlaws mo naman grabe din.

Nafifeel ko yung nararamdaman mo ngayun sis, kung ako hindi ko na rin alam ang gagawin..

[bratty]

I feel sad for you sis. Sana malampasan mo yan lahat, be strong. Ingat ka sa pagbubuntis mo.

[momentum]

sis twins pala dinadala mo..ingat ka sa pregnancy mo
..relax and breathe as much as you can..
God bless you

[Msfi]

This is really sad, but as what they said you need to focus.  Secure now what you can get from all your properties.  All your deposits sa bank na OR account, kunin mo na, don't waste time for this madali lang naman magwithdraw kaysa maunahan ka.

Get all the legal documents, TCT's, certificates, etc. secure them also. Alisin mo sa dati mong tinataguan at baka maipakuha sa ibang tao.  You can get a safety deposit box sa bank where you can place all your valuables.

My heart is bleeding for you, i'm sorry but this is all we can do for you, support and pray for you.  Take care of yourself, yan ang di mo pwedeng kalimutan. We'll pray for you.

[killbill]

I am sorry to hear that sis. Be strong and pray. Di ka pababayaan ni God.

[Msfi]

Sis ejxtwo, are you friends with his secretary? I'm sure she knows a lot, at kasama yan sa nagtakip sa asawa mo. Try and get sympathy from her, para may makuha ka pang information.

[momentum]

Sis question lang, have you tried going to the condo na binili ng asawa mo?
Hindi kaya andun siya?
Kahit iba na ang papuntahin mo dun, one of your brothers or something
Just to check out kung may nakatira na dun

[ejxtwo]

Hello sissies. hindi ko na kayo maisa-isa but thank you very much for your replies, words of encouragement, and prayers. I really appreciate them all.

Ever since, I'm not in good terms with my in-laws. US based din naman sila so tuwing may occasions kami nagkikita plus, big deal kasi sa kanila na first born namin is girl (they want a baby boy and lahat ng brothers ni hubby puro boy ang first born). I just found out that second family lang kami, he married that woman first. Nakatira din sila sa US so regular silang nagkikita ng in-laws ko. I don't know kung paano nila natago sakin ng 14 years lahat but I know nagpaka-tang* ako at nagbulag-bulagan. Sis momentum, walang nakatira sa condo, actually wala pang gamit yun and all.

Sobrang speechless lang ako, ang bigat bigat sa pakiramdam. Umiiyak nalang ako and I pray of course. I try to be strong for my daughter and my unborn babies, but I just can't. Sobrang hirap na hirap ako. Kayo lang yung nalalabasan ko ng mga nararamdaman ko because my parents are still in Cebu. I just really hope makaya ko pa

[honeycrushed]

Just keep on holding on, sis.  God gives us trials because he knows we can overcome them.  Detours, challenges and crisis are cover-ups for miracles that had no other way of reaching you.  Don't look back anymore, but rather look forward.  Think of yourself and your children.  God gave you two gifts for a reason. Keep the faith.

[janachen]

I'm super speechless sis.. Parang wtf! Puro kalokohan lang ang lahat. Aware kaya yung babae na nag eexist ka as wife ng asawa mo dito sis?Parang impossible, pero possible pala yung ganyang situation. Nagbabakasyon ba ang husband mo sa US or yung babae ang umuuwi dito sis? Bakit hindi mo natunugan? or is it because araw araw nasa work si husband? or alam mong mayroong ibang babae pero iniignore mo lang dati?

[ejxtwo]

Thank you sis honeycrushed.

^ Nasa US si hubby sis. He left me na walang pasabi, kahapon ko lang din nalaman na nasa US sya. Yes, everyday nasa work si hubby. If not sa office nasa site naman sya (he's an engineer). I know meron syang flings and for fun lang na girls but I never thought na ganito pala. Sobrang nabulag siguro ako because he gives us all of his time, and I can say hindi sya nagkulang samin.

[janachen]

Sobrang gulat ako sis how much more sa'yo na ikaw mismo ang involve.

Anyway, talagang timing yung ginawa nya. Kasi alam nyang yung inlaws mo na ang mag eexplain pag alis nya. Pero sana man lang may closure kayo. Ingat nalang sa bata sis. Sobrang hirap ang pinagdadaanan mo ngayun for sure.

[Girltalker2]

^^ Is this for real?  Hindi ako makapaniwala na such people exist???

You are 7 months pregnant. The first wife is 8 months pregnant. He has 3 kids there and you have 1, 13yo.  He is always home. So how did the first wife got pregnant 4 times if the first wife is in the US?

Can you try to recall sis, when were those times that your hubby is not with you?

[bonita111809]

Hello sissies. hindi ko na kayo maisa-isa but thank you very much for your replies, words of encouragement, and prayers. I really appreciate them all.

Ever since, I'm not in good terms with my in-laws. US based din naman sila so tuwing may occasions kami nagkikita plus, big deal kasi sa kanila na first born namin is girl (they want a baby boy and lahat ng brothers ni hubby puro boy ang first born). I just found out that second family lang kami, he married that woman first. Nakatira din sila sa US so regular silang nagkikita ng in-laws ko. I don't know kung paano nila natago sakin ng 14 years lahat but I know nagpaka-tang* ako at nagbulag-bulagan. Sis momentum, walang nakatira sa condo, actually wala pang gamit yun and all.

Sobrang speechless lang ako, ang bigat bigat sa pakiramdam. Umiiyak nalang ako and I pray of course. I try to be strong for my daughter and my unborn babies, but I just can't. Sobrang hirap na hirap ako. Kayo lang yung nalalabasan ko ng mga nararamdaman ko because my parents are still in Cebu. I just really hope makaya ko pa

kakayanin mo yan sis. hindi ibibigay sayo yang pagsubok na yan kung hindi mo kaya. dasal lang lagi at tatagan mo ang loob mo. draw strength from your kids. that explains the attitude of your "in-laws" towards you, dahil sa kid and dahil sa pangalawang family kayo. chinese ba ang partner mo?

[ejxtwo]

Sis Girltalker2, I forgot to mention, lagi syang may business trip abroad. Ang pinaka-matagal naman one to two weeks lang. And 7 months ago, nagpunta din kami sa US for a short vacation. By the way, older yung kids nya than my daughter.

Sis bonita111809, thank you sis. May Chinese blood lang sya but not full naman.

[imbisibol_]

Ever since, I'm not in good terms with my in-laws...I just found out that second family lang kami, he married that woman first. Nakatira din sila sa US so regular silang nagkikita ng in-laws ko.

And you found out all of this information from who again?  From your in-laws with whom you are not in good terms with?  I would not put too much stock in what they have to say.  When you got married 14 years ago, you were able to obtain a CENOMAR for your husband, yes?  Your marriage is valid.  File your legal case, and it will up to the other party to provide a marriage certificate to prove their marriage took place first (probably outside the Philippines).  Yes, as suggested- think back.  Were there any times in the past years that your husband was away for unexplained periods of time?  Enough for him to impregnate the other woman and possibly be at her side 9 months after each time she gave birth?  Start with the easiest and latest one.  You say the other woman is 8 months pregnant.  Can you account for where your husband was 7 to 8 months ago?

walang nakatira sa condo, actually wala pang gamit yun and all.

Take off your blinders for a moment.  Who gave you that information?  Your husband?  Get your butt into that condo and see for your own self, with your own eyes.  That would be conjugal property, and you have a legal right to go inside the property.  My guess is your husband's other family is planning on an extended vacation in the Philippines.  Take note, if they are indeed based in the US, summer vacation here starts in June and ends early September.  The new car, of course, is for them to get around. 

Umiiyak nalang ako and I pray of course. I try to be strong for my daughter and my unborn babies, but I just can't.

Crying is well and good.  Praying as well. But the heavens only help people who help themselves.  When you're done with self-pity (and you do need to engage in that as a process of healing), get acting.  Time to find out what stuff you're really made of.

[bonita111809]

Sis Girltalker2, I forgot to mention, lagi syang may business trip abroad. Ang pinaka-matagal naman one to two weeks lang. And 7 months ago, nagpunta din kami sa US for a short vacation. By the way, older yung kids nya than my daughter.

Sis bonita111809, thank you sis. May Chinese blood lang sya but not full naman.

eh OA naman pala sila eh. kame nga na puro ang mga lola at lolo ko sa mother side hindi na iniisip yan. susme naman. I am the eldest child at babae pero mas tinatanggap pa ako kesa sa ibang lalakeng first born sa amin. kung lalake nga, wala namang silbi wala din kwenta.

[Girltalker2]

TS, di parin ako makapaniwala na this can happen in real life.

Nung kinasal ba kayo ng hubby mo, present ang mga magulang, friends and relatives nya?  You somehow have to find out paano din sya kinasal sa kabila. Baka sa US sya kinasal with the first wife.

[momentum]

Take off your blinders for a moment.  Who gave you that information?  Your husband?  Get your butt into that condo and see for your own self, with your own eyes.  That would be conjugal property, and you have a legal right to go inside the property.  My guess is your husband's other family is planning on an extended vacation in the Philippines.  Take note, if they are indeed based in the US, summer vacation here starts in June and ends early September.  The new car, of course, is for them to get around. 

Eto. Dito din ako nacucurious sis kaya sinabi ko na sana pumunta ka or send one of your brothers sa condo to check it out. When was the last time you were there anyway? baka nung kakabili lang.

Time to think objectively muna sis. Try to put your emotions on the side for a moment (kahit na mahirap!) kasi this is a damn big puzzle that needs to be pieced together to see the complete picture. You need people that can help you think and and move on this..you mentioned na kelangan mo ng bed rest..so maybe you can ask favors sa family/brothers mo to do this or good friends. Sis kahit na nasa Cebu pamilya mo, if they find out about this, I am sure merong pupunta dito to help you.
Kahit mahirap sis don't wallow too much or the whole day..you really have to act as fast as you can..like yung sa binanggit na bank accounts, properties etc..baka maunahan ka or something. Get a lawyer ASAP

Try to clear your head for a moment sis and make a checklist on all the things you need to do..starting from the urgent that needs to be done, para hindi ka mawala sa track and you can see what have you achieved and what you still need to do, para hindi ka natutuliro kasi itong situation mo is talagang nakakatuliro...example:

1. Inform my family/friends
2. Get a lawyer
3. Secure all bank accounts/properties/legal documents etc
4. Check out condo
etc etc