Author Topic: Are you ready for Marriage?  (Read 20771 times)

sarsingkit

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #80 on: January 27, 2016, 12:21:29 am »
^^We have been married for 5 years na sis.

simang

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #81 on: January 27, 2016, 03:01:55 am »
Kahit ngayong kasal na kami, I still don't feel 100% ready for our life together. Nung isang araw lang tinanong ko husband ko, how do I get ready for all of these? Kasi sa aming dalawa it seems like he's the one that's all equipped to be a life partner and a father. Ako ang hindi. Especially now na magkaka-baby na kami. Everyday my fears are growing -- paano ba maging mabuting asawa? Maging mabuting nanay? Hindi ko alam. Sabi ng husband ko, hindi daw dahil hindi natin alam kung paano, eh titigil na tayo doon. We are in the life together to learn. Kaya iniisip ko na lang, kahit hindi ako ready, I'm going to have to be better than my yesterday-self. At least that way, may magagawa ako.

Good luck sa mga soon-to-weds. :) It is true that your wedding day is a once in a lifetime experience, but there are a lot more to come post-wedding. A wedding is not life's culmination. Marami pang darating na mas malaki, mas exciting, mas nakakalokang mga bagay after the ceremony.

sarsingkit

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #82 on: January 27, 2016, 10:33:56 am »
^True! It actually excites me on what is still out there to be discovered about lifetime partnership. Even discoveries about myself as I changed roles from GF to wife, eh amazing.

caleeice

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #83 on: January 27, 2016, 11:53:19 am »
Kahit ngayong kasal na kami, I still don't feel 100% ready for our life together. Nung isang araw lang tinanong ko husband ko, how do I get ready for all of these? Kasi sa aming dalawa it seems like he's the one that's all equipped to be a life partner and a father. Ako ang hindi. Especially now na magkaka-baby na kami. Everyday my fears are growing -- paano ba maging mabuting asawa? Maging mabuting nanay? Hindi ko alam. Sabi ng husband ko, hindi daw dahil hindi natin alam kung paano, eh titigil na tayo doon. We are in the life together to learn. Kaya iniisip ko na lang, kahit hindi ako ready, I'm going to have to be better than my yesterday-self. At least that way, may magagawa ako.

I feel you sis! Whenever I asked my then fiance whether he's ready for marriage, he'd tell and make me feel that he's ready. Now that we're expecting our baby, I ask him whether he's ready to be a father, again he'd tell and make me feel that he is. Parang nakakahiya pa nga that I'm the one with all these fears and questions whether I'm actually ready to be a wife and now a mother.

Now, I just take everything one day at a time. I try not to overwhelm myself with all the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood. I just try to learn along the way and be the best wife that I can be. Everything becomes easier naman when you know that you have your partner's all-out support and when both of you are helping each other everyday.

fidelity88

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #84 on: January 27, 2016, 01:02:45 pm »
Haaaay.. Mejo nacoconfuse ako honestly. We booked a lot of suppliers already. Pero parang itutuloy na lang namin. Hindi dahil sa nanghihinayang ako, but I'll entrust everything to God. I feel naman h2b loves me. Wala namang kaso sa kanya. Issue lang namin yung obligation nya sa family nya. Whereas, naweigh ko din na kung ganun nya kamahal yung family nya, nakikita ko na ganun din sya sa bubuuhin naming pamilya. Hindi madali pero pag-uusapan na lang namin ng maayos. Think positive lang! :)

caleeice

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #85 on: January 27, 2016, 01:15:55 pm »
^Yes sis, it's best for both of you to sit down and talk about it. You may not come up with an easy solution or a compromise right away, but through constant and open communication, I'm sure you'll figure something that could work for both of you. :)

Missus O

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #86 on: January 27, 2016, 04:36:13 pm »
Hi mga sis. I know that this is not the marriage thread. But since this topic is if we are ready for marriage, just thought I could post this here. I saw it in my facebook feed kanina, and I thought that these are very sound advise.

If you aren't ready to follow the following, then maybe marriage is not the answer - yet. But then again... what do I know hehe... happy reading :)

THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE EVER!!

Twenty-five principles to your relationship, that could make a life-changing difference in your marriage!  In no particular order:

1. Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.

20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

21. Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

22. Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

23. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

24. When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

25. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

Source: http://strongermarriages.com/the-best-marriage-advice-ever/

caleeice

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #87 on: January 27, 2016, 04:55:59 pm »
That's a good read!! Thank you for sharing sis!! :) I sent this to the husband and asked him to read the entire thing. Haha!

120515

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #88 on: January 27, 2016, 06:24:21 pm »
^ sis nissus o, thank you for sharing the list! it's awesome! every point is so true based on what i have observed with my grandparents, parents, and friends :)

fidelity88

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #89 on: January 27, 2016, 07:32:23 pm »
sis Missus O thank you for sharing sis! :)

sis caleeice yes, we have to. Very open naman sya about my sentiments. It's just that family din kasi nya yung involve kaya I understand how hard it is for him. Praying for wisdom din for us to be enlightened. :) thank you sis! :)

Missus O

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #90 on: January 27, 2016, 08:19:36 pm »
^,^^,^^^ No worries mga sis :)  I thought it was really inspiring. Being not so newlyweds but still within the 1 year mark, naaaply pa namin mostly all of these. But 5,10,15 years down the road, I hope and pray it would still be the same. :D

@caleeice I also sent this to my husband hehe.. magugulat sya may message ako sa kanya sa fb pag gising nya :)

@fidelity -  it's quite difficult when family members are involved. You wouldn't know where to place yourself.  Tama sila. You and your fiance would really need to talk this through. From reading posts from the marriage thread, financial responsibility is one of the things na mostly napaguusapan dun, check mo din yung thread na yun sis. That way may insight ka. I would also  recommend reading  Richard and Maricar Poon's Leave and cleave. Most of the topics they have on their blog are spot on. Good luck sis and God bless. :)

sarsingkit

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #91 on: January 27, 2016, 11:30:17 pm »
Nice read. However, I just realized that we do not wear our wedding rings. Haha. Nakasanayan na.

tan.denise54

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #92 on: January 28, 2016, 12:04:11 am »
good read! thanks for sharing sis Missus O! Every point is a good reminder. Number 17 struck me the most. haha!

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

I tend to become very impatient when my fiance gets late. He's workaholic and oftentimes he works until late midnight. In the morning, I sometimes become impatient when I'm having a hard time asking him to prepare when we need to go out. I need to be more understanding about this :)

Purple_Power

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #93 on: January 28, 2016, 01:05:25 am »
Kung financially and being independent honestly ang masasagot ko hindi. Pero in terms of relationship na we are sure for each other siempre YES ang masasagot ko dyan and that is 100%. Ang talagang pinagsisihan ko nang husto yung hindi namin naidiscuss mabuti about living with him and his granny, hindi ko talaga nagustuhan ang experience sa first year ng marriage namin na feeling ko nakatali ako sa leeg at araw araw nanganganib ang buhay ko o nasa kalbaryo ako. Parang akong nasa abusive situation dahil naiiwan ako sa kalbaryo. Hindi ako naging masaya sa una dahil pakiramdam ko pinanghimasukan ako. Kaya nga naisip ko ngayon gusto ko pa ulit magpakasal sa kanya though church na pero as independent. And of course hindi na ako papayag muli na pati ang Ina niya may gawin sa aking masama.

yannuh

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #94 on: January 28, 2016, 06:56:17 am »

@caleeice I also sent this to my husband hehe.. magugulat sya may message ako sa kanya sa fb pag gising nya :)


thanks Missus O for sharing. I've already read this somewhere too :) and same tayo, whenever I found some interesting articles/stories about marriage, viber kaagad kay hubby. or if magkatabi kami, papabasa ko sa kanya. that way, parehas naming sabay na natutunan ang mga bagay bagay hihi

Missus O

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #95 on: January 28, 2016, 07:31:35 am »
^ glad to share sis yannih :).  Maganda yun hehe.. para both of you are on the same page ika nga hehe ;)

corpse_bride

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #96 on: January 28, 2016, 01:07:30 pm »
Nice that this thread was revived. Reminds us of why we're getting married in the middle of all our wedding preps. I even sent the link to my fiancé & friends who are also getting married.

fidelity88

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #97 on: January 28, 2016, 01:15:47 pm »
^yes, i agree. It was like, ask yourself first before it's too late. December 2016 bride here. :)

miming

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #98 on: January 31, 2016, 08:13:02 pm »
Try this mga sisses

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Then after taking the quiz read this article

http://www.startmarriageright.com/2015/08/10-simple-but-powerful-ways-to-build-your-marriage/


I can say that because of this we understand each other more.  Minsan kasi dating sa mga partner natin na we are nagging and those quizzes and article that we are showing them seems like nothing to them.  Pero these quizzes and articles somehow represents whats inside our heart and mind. 

Lagi din naglalaro sa isip ko yung tanong na " Are you ready for Marriage? " . I'm the youngest and only daughter in our family and some what spoiled.  On top of that OC / Perfectionist pa ako. San ka pa? hehe but when I think about our relationship right now, masasabi ko na i'm one lucky girl to have him as my partner.  Ako na yata ang topak queen, and napakahirap sa akin i-accept ang reality kasi nga OC ako.  But then I realized kailangan mo nga lang talagang makuntento.  I'm not saying na, ginugulpi ka na eh okey pa din.  Of course for those basic things labas na yung sinasabi ko na makuntento, kailangan lang talaga natin makuntento kahit sa mga simpleng bagay.

If he cooks for us kahit ba hindi mala master chef ang luto basta he knows and willingly cooks for us.

If he voluntarily helps you with household chores.

If he always makes you smile, kahit hindi thru jokes pero dun sa mga small gestures like - sample sa amin, pag off namin, he always say yes pag gusto ko pumunta dito, gusto ko pumunta dun. Simple strolling sa mall pumapayag sya kasi alam nya it will make me happy makakita ng sale at make-ups.

He gives me the side of the bed na alam nyang komportable ako kahit na 1/3 na lang natira sa kanya.

Tumatawa lang sya pag alam nyang nagsusungit ako pag bagong gising.

He attends mass with me, and even sing inside the church. ( malaking points sa akin ang lalakeng nagsisimba )

He respect my mom just like his own.

...those are small things pero yung simpleng bagay na yun ay hindi basta basta mabigay ng isang lalake sa babae if di nya talaga mahal.

Material things? I think it should not be part of measuring his love for you.  It somehow makes you feel good because of the effort pero If you will base it on what he gave you or how much eh ikaw na nga my issue.

Hindi ko alam kung gets nyo ako sisses, pero ang akin is appreciate him and he will appreciate you.  Laging open lagi communication nyo. And make sure din that you are both on the same page, same ideas on how to make things work inside your relationship, same page on how you will respect each other and so on and so fort.

And wag sa looks and body tumingin, gwapo nga sila pero wala talaga kayong connection or talagang hindi pa sya matured.  At the end ikaw kawawa. 

Everyone has the power to feel if the guy is being genuine about their feelings for you, wag nating ipilit yung sarili natin pag hindi talaga pwede.

And lastly try to watch the " The Ugly Truth " hindi sya 100% pang marriage but it shows na minsan ang babae eh too much ang expectation sa isang lalake kaya nahihirapan sila mahanap yung "the one"

JUNE 2016 bride turned OCT 2017 here ;-)
« Last Edit: January 31, 2016, 08:21:17 pm by miming »

fidelity88

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Re: Are you ready for Marriage?
« Reply #99 on: January 31, 2016, 08:20:42 pm »

@fidelity -  it's quite difficult when family members are involved. You wouldn't know where to place yourself.  Tama sila. You and your fiance would really need to talk this through. From reading posts from the marriage thread, financial responsibility is one of the things na mostly napaguusapan dun, check mo din yung thread na yun sis. That way may insight ka. I would also  recommend reading  Richard and Maricar Poon's Leave and cleave. Most of the topics they have on their blog are spot on. Good luck sis and God bless. :)

Agree to that sissy. I already read her blog before. Specially yung part 2. I'll look for that again and have it ready by h2b. Hahaha thank you sis! 😊

 

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