Dealing with iiwan si baby for work abroad..

[Girltalker2]

I told to myself " I can earn money, but I cannot buy the time to be with my families"

Oo nga, kaya dapat I-maximise ang quality time with them.

[redberry12]

My baby is a year and a month old now and I still make it a point that I go home every 4 months so I won't miss most of the milestones of his childhood. I am the only one who is lucky to have a job abroad and my husband was not blessed with such kind of work so he stayed in the Philippines with our son. My goal is to be with my baby and my husband when we already goes to school. It is hard but we have to sacrifice for a better future.

[chubzkittinz]

  Im back mga sis! and now my brother is asking if im now ready to process everything again. hearing all your stories,im having second thoughts..

[redberry12]

Im back mga sis! and now my brother is asking if im now ready to process everything again. hearing all your stories,im having second thoughts..

Sis just a two cent list out you priorities and put a timeline para hindi ka kainin ng buo ng pagaabroad. Mahirap sa mga OFW kpg timeline forever na nasa malayo at hindi na makabalik eh.

[Obachan]

Lumalaki anak ko ng hindi ko sya nakaksama ng matagal.
Kahit madalas ang uwi ko , kulang pa rin.
The saddest part is I need to work abroad dahil hindi kaya ng sahod ko sa pinas ang expenses namin.

[lovely_carrot]

Been here in UAE for over a year now.. While na lessen na yung homesickness, when you really think about it nakakalungkot pa din talaga. Esp now padalaga na yung anak ko, yung important milestones ng buhay nya, those are the things I'm afraid to miss. Actually yung nga lang everyday life nya, nakakalungkot isipin na as a parent absent ako dun.

I'm going home for one month vacation this November (birthday nila ng Mama ko plus of course yung holidays), nakakaloka lang kasi di pa nga ko nauwi, naiisip ko na yung iyakan namin sa airport pag pabalik nako dito, nalulungkot na ako.

Babawi nalang siguro talaga ako sa bakasyon, gala dito gala doon, bonding galore para masulit naman yung missed moments namin magnanay. Syempre di ko din kalimutan na magbond with my mom, the peace of mind that I have now, its all because of her, its priceless.

[Obachan]

^ buti ka pa sis lovely_carrot, you have a peace of mind na naiwan daughter mo sa nanay mo.
ako 50-50.
sure naman ako na hindi mapapabayaan anak ko, she's turning 8y.o. by the way.
ang hindi lang ako kampante na maiwan baby ko sa nanay ko is, masyado makalat sa bahay nanay ko.
and hindi malinis sa paligid or sa bahay.

Like just this weekend, umuwi ako for 3days lang.
na-surprise sya sa pag uwi ko,
ayaw ko mag ingay at magalit, so ginawa ko niligpit ko na lang un bedroom nila (share sila sa room ng anak ko)
kung gaano ko iniingatan ang skin at face ng anak ko, sya naman walang pakialam kung makagat ng lamok or langgam,
nakakapang lambot.
butas na nga bulsa mo sa pagpapdala, makikita mo pa anak mo madungis.

[Girltalker2]

Follow your gutfeel. Minsan tayo lang makakapagsabi if ok iwan ang anak o hindi.

Kung mag aabroad ka din lang, make sure kampante ka sa pag iiwanan at kalagayan ng pamilya mo, otherwise mahirapan ka rin makapagwork nang maayos if lagi ka nagw worry. 

[chubzkittinz]

50-50 ako mga sis..personal attachment and financial..pag nakikita ko yun sinusulat kong budget namen,naiisip kong i should go talaga..pero if tinititigan ko yung anak ko,naiisip kong i should not go..walang problem sa pag iiwanan mga sis kasi kay hubby naman and nakasupport din naman parents ko..

[yn061515]

For OFW mothers..how did you manage na iwan ang family for working abroad?

Im feeling sad na kasi..iniisip ko palang na aalis ako, nalulungkot na ako..

It was a choice I had to make with a plan in mind.
I left my daughter last year around September and went to Qatar too. She was made in Dubai by the way, my husband was still in Dubai when I left for Qatar. No, not a child out of wedlock. I got a better offer in Qatar so I moved here with a plan to get my husband first and then our daughter. My husband and I made it in happen and now, we are complete!

[lovemeagain30]

Years ago I posted in this thread supporting a sister here na intindihin siya kasi kailangan niya mag abroad. Medyo natarayan ko pa nga yung ibang nagcomment na wag ng ituloy. 

 In my case now,  nakuha ko na ang eldest ko at buo na pamilya ko dito sa Middle East.  This is after 6 years of waiting.

Sa totoo lang kung may magtatanong sakin ngayon kung pinagsisihan ko ba iniwan ko si eldest sa parents ko? I want to answer YES. The grandparents are the greatest people in the world but they can never substitute the real parent. My son is 11 years old at ngayon magkasama na kami na pang matagalan na realize ko hindi ko pala siya ganun kakilala. Ganun din ako sakanya. How tragic to feel that. That in spite of technology that we have nowadays, that it should make communications easier, there will always be a gap.

There are things in life that money can't really buy. It's not just happiness. Mahirap ipaliwanag. Pero the longer you leave your child, the more you become strangers to each other. Iba kasi pag bakasyon. Parang panliligaw yan, always best foot forward. Iba din kapag kasama mo na regularly sa isang bahay. Iba ang disiplina sakanila or mabuti nga kung magawa mo pang ma disiplina sila.

So I would say have a plan, be with your child the soonest you can.  Huwag makuntento sa pabakasyon lang at pa Skype or Viber lang. Hindi pedeng puros pera ang basehan para sabihin mabuting magulang ka parin. Minsan lang sila bata. Nakakahinayang palampasin. I learned my lesson very well.

[Girltalker2]

Im back mga sis! and now my brother is asking if im now ready to process everything again. hearing all your stories,im having second thoughts..

Sis, it's been 2 years + since you first contemplated going abroad. I hope naayos nyo naman yung financial issue nyo back then.

So right now, while thinking (again) of working abroad, naisip mo ba kung natuloy ka dati, you wouldn't have regretted it? Na sana natuloy ka na and by now nakabalik ka na siguro?

Also, how is your hubby doing now? Puede na ba sya nalang mag abroad? In the last 2 years, puede na sana sya kumuha ng maritime course or any short course to augment your income?

I'm just asking these questions because it may help you decide now what you want to do and PLAN to do.

Pray also for His guidance.

[three8one]

sabi ng iba minsan nasa upbringing ng din ng bata yan o minsan naman talaga nasa bata na din yan. may mga bata na kahit tutok ang magulang sa pagpapalaki at pag aalaga lumalaking rebelled pa din. may marami naman din mga bata na pansamantalang iniwan ng magulang, lumaki naman mabuti at maayos na tao.

para sa aking opinion naman, para makapag decide talaga kayo kung handa ba kayo iwan nyo ang mga anak nyo pansamantala, tanungin nyo sarili nyo. ano ba kayo nun bata kayo? kasi kung anong klase ng pagkatao meron kayo nun bata kayo kalimitan nakukuha ng mga anak natin yung iba so kung sa palagay nyo behave naman kayo nun kabataan nyo pati tatay/nanay ng bata more or less behave din ang bata pero kung kayo yung tipo ng tao na posibleng mag rebelde pag walang nagbabantay yun ang palaisipan ngayon.

 

[lovemeagain30]

^ I begged to disagree three8one. The biggest influence in a child's life is how he/she will be raised. Depends on the environment they're in. Most especially, it will depend on the people who will raise them. The "quality of relationship" between the parents and the child is always at it's stake when they're in a long distance relationships. Regardless of the technology we have now.  Most of the OFW parents are not considering this. Ako mismo biktima nito.

You don't claim your own childhood as a "benchmark" on how your child will be in the future. Its UNFAIR for them. The expectations will be too high and the disappoinment will equally be the same.

Hindi absolute ang meaning ng 'kung ano ang puno, siya rin ang bunga'.

[redberry12]

Years ago I posted in this thread supporting a sister here na intindihin siya kasi kailangan niya mag abroad. Medyo natarayan ko pa nga yung ibang nagcomment na wag ng ituloy. 

 In my case now,  nakuha ko na ang eldest ko at buo na pamilya ko dito sa Middle East.  This is after 6 years of waiting.

Sa totoo lang kung may magtatanong sakin ngayon kung pinagsisihan ko ba iniwan ko si eldest sa parents ko? I want to answer YES. The grandparents are the greatest people in the world but they can never substitute the real parent. My son is 11 years old at ngayon magkasama na kami na pang matagalan na realize ko hindi ko pala siya ganun kakilala. Ganun din ako sakanya. How tragic to feel that. That in spite of technology that we have nowadays, that it should make communications easier, there will always be a gap.

There are things in life that money can't really buy. It's not just happiness. Mahirap ipaliwanag. Pero the longer you leave your child, the more you become strangers to each other. Iba kasi pag bakasyon. Parang panliligaw yan, always best foot forward. Iba din kapag kasama mo na regularly sa isang bahay. Iba ang disiplina sakanila or mabuti nga kung magawa mo pang ma disiplina sila.

So I would say have a plan, be with your child the soonest you can.  Huwag makuntento sa pabakasyon lang at pa Skype or Viber lang. Hindi pedeng puros pera ang basehan para sabihin mabuting magulang ka parin. Minsan lang sila bata. Nakakahinayang palampasin. I learned my lesson very well.

Thank you Sis. Noted. I am doing everything now para makauwi na. My son is turning two. Siguro it's really time to go home. Pray for me mga sis!

[blushberry]

I agree that money is not always the basis for being a good parent.  The discipline and love we impart will always be different than our parents and I would like to think presence is more important than money.  But it goes without saying that we have to work for our family's future without sacrificing our time away from them.  I hope red berry that you can still have a decent or comfortable lifestyle here in the philippines when you do decide to come back so you can be with your baby.

[redberry12]

I agree that money is not always the basis for being a good parent.  The discipline and love we impart will always be different than our parents and I would like to think presence is more important than money.  But it goes without saying that we have to work for our family's future without sacrificing our time away from them.  I hope red berry that you can still have a decent or comfortable lifestyle here in the philippines when you do decide to come back so you can be with your baby.

Thank you sis!. I am praying for that too!

[charmed30]

Ofw mom here. 1 yr 4 mos na yung baby ko ngayon and she is staying with my parents (with yaya). 2 mos pa lang siya after my maternity eave, bumalik na ko abroad. Alam niyo yung feeling na parang ayoko nang manganak para kasama ko na lang siya lagi. Kasi alam ko na kelangan ko siyang iwan sa pinas.
Yung day ng flight ko paalis ng pinas is isa sa pinakamasakit na araw for me. 2 weeks ata ako umiiyak nun. Ang baba ng morale ko.
Nakakapagpagaan na lang ng konti sa pakiramdam kapag naiisip ko na lahat kaya kong maibigay sa kanya, engrandeng birthday parties, magagandang damit, best school, etc.
Pero alam niyo mga sis, ngayon nagsisisi ako kung bakit ko siya iniwan. Hindi ko na maibabalik yung time na wala ako habang lumalaki siya. Sa videos and facetime ko lang nakikita. Once in a while pinagbabakasyon namin siya dito for 1 month with her yaya. Pero hindi pa din enough.
I remember nung last na punta niya here, lagi siya umiiyak kasi stranger ang tingin niya sa min ng daddy niya. Yaya ang gusto niya kasama. Hanggang mga 1 week before niya umalis, tsaka siya nag open up sa min. Ako na yung hinahanap niya. Pero kelangan na naman namin magkalayo. Ang sakit kasi kung kelan kilala na niya ang mommy niya, nagkahiwalay na naman kami. Last night namin with her, lumapit siya sa kin dahil gusto magpa hele dahil matutulog na siya. That was one of the happiest and painful moment of my
Life.
Dahil sa moment na yun, inasikaso ko na para madala na namin siya dito. Konting tiis na lang, maybe a few more weeks, makakasama na namin siya.

[argento]

hindi talaga dapat iwan ang baby para sa work abroad kahit malaki ang kita.

[mamey]

This is what I'm stressing right now. We will be having a baby next year January. I will give birth here abroad pero hindi rin makakapag stay ng matagal si Baby dito since hindi pa kami eligible to apply a visa for her so she can stay here for good. So in short social visit lang sha and with maximum stay of 3 months. Workable naman sakin na iuwi sha every 3 months kasi I have enough leave naman kaso ang problem is walang mag aalaga sakanya dito since both of us hubby is working. Even if we wanted to hire a maid eh hindi pwede kasi we are currently staying in my SIL house and wala ng extra room for maid to stay in. We cannot afford to move out kasi sobrang mahal ng house rental dito. My hubby said na parents nalang nya mag aalaga since then and now nag pupunta sila lagi dito kasi inaalagaan din nila 2 son ng SIL ko. But that's the point nag aalaga na sila ng 2 apo tapos dagdag samin and to the fact na before eh sakin nag sasabi si MIL na napapagod na sha sa pag aalaga at gusto nya sa pinas lang mag stay dahil bored sila dito. Haay.. My hubby's solution is iwan nalang si baby sa pinas kasi wala talaga kaming choice. but for me I cannot bear to do that. Naiiyak na ko agad maisip ko lang yung ganung situation. I've been praying since before na i bless kami to have a Baby tapos ganto lang din pala mangyayari.  We will just left her. Nag aaway lang kami ni hubby pag ganto topic namin. 
Nanghihinayang naman ako mag resign dahil kaka renew lang ng working pass ko for 3 years. That means 3 years sure na may income kami unlike kay hubby malapit ng ma expire ang work pass nya and not sure pa kung irerenew pa ng company nila. If we both go back to the philippines, diko alam mangyayari samin. haaay nakaka stress.