Dealing with iiwan si baby for work abroad..

[chubzkittinz]

Thanks mga sis!..

[GABJUMZ]

Hi sis! I am working here in Qatar for almost 6 years na. I left my hubby and 2 kids sa Pinas. Yearly ang vacation with free airticket. Same as your reason, financial problem.

Sobrang hirap syempre iwanan ang family kahit ilang balik na ako dito, ganun pa rin yong pakiramdam tuwing aalis. Lalo pa at sobrang layo at hindi ka basta basta makakauwi. Mas mahirap lalo na kung makikita mo ang anak mo na umiiyak tuwing aalis ka at pagdating mo naman ay wala silang ginawa kundi bilangin kung ilang tulog na lang uli bago ka umalis. Totoo malaking bagay na madali na ang means of communications dahil daily ay nakakausap ko sila. One advantage of having at least a parent beside your children is that panatag ka kahit papano na hindi mapapabayaan ang anak mo. Well, dumating din ako sa time na nag seself pity ako na bakit ako ang kailangang umalis at hindi si hubby ko. Then umalis si hubby ng 1 year for UN mission so our kids were left under the care of my parents. Mas lalo pala mahirap.

I think mas mabuti na bigyan kita ng feedback about Qatar and how to bring your family here. I came here under family visit visa (my sister was my sponsor) then dito na ako nag apply ng work. Exactly 2 weeks after dumating ako, nakapagstart na ako ng work. If you are under family visit visa, you can stay up to 6 months para makahanap ng work at monthly ang renewal for QAR200. Actually, madali makahanap ng work dito, ang mahirap lang kapag walang available female visa ang employer mo. Madali lang din makapag apply ng family visit visa once you get your residence permit, kailangan lang ang salary mo is  at least QAR6,000 (P72,000) and QAR10,000 para magkaron sila ng permanent residency under your personal sponsorship. Anong usual benefits? Tax free salary, free accommodation or you will be given house rent allowance, free transportation (or allowance), free medical insurance, usually yearly airticket with 1 month vacation yearly and end of service benefits will be 21 days each year. One thing I like it here is safety and security. Walang kidnapping, holdup, akyat bahay etc.

Why I didn't bring my family here? First Hubby is a policeman who spent 12 almost 13yrs in service and wala syang makukuha if he resigns right now. Second, it is not conducive for kids to grow up here unless you want to lock them  inside your room the whole day  just watching tv, playing computer games without any social life. They will be restricted and it is not a normal environment for kids to grow up. Surely you can go out but it will be costly.

Before you leave, make your plan. Anong objectives mo sa pagpunta abroad? Mahirap mag abroad at mamuhay mag isa at iwan ang anak so you should make it worthy. As for me, I am just waiting na matapos mabayaran ang house namin and magkaron ng ipon then I can go home na. A person's greed is endless pero you should learn when to stop and how to prioritize things.

[simplykristine08]

^ sis, kuhang kuha mo ang isang bagay na gusto ko din dito sa UAE, ang safety! dito, kahit maiwan si baby sa playground sa park, alam kong walang kukuha sakanya. walang patayan, walang holdap, etc etc. Kampante ako na kapag bukas ang bag ko while walking, walang hahablot at kukuha neto. Sigurop takot kasi ang mga tao sa mga parak dito. kahit ako, makakita lang ako ng parak dito, natatakot ako, ang tatapang kasi ng ichura nila. Meron man crimes dito, siguro 10% lang kumpara saatin na araw araw may mababalitaan ka na pinatay, ni-rape, naholdap, etc. Pero, MAS MASAYA PA RIN SA PILIPINAS.

Agree din ako na dito, ang anak ko madalas lang nasa room, buti nalang may 2 kids pa kameng kasama sa bahay kaya araw araw may kalaro naman. Pero tama na computer, tv at ipad lang ang libangan nya. Kaya we make it a point na makagala once a week man lang. Pero yun nga, magastos.

Pero, if ang nanay ko ang nasa Pinas at sya ang magaalaga ng anak ko, masasabi ko na kaya ko syang iwanan sa Pinas habang nagwowork ako dito.

[chubzkittinz]

eto nanaman ako mga sis..more or less than a month aalis na ako..wrong timing kasi magpapasko..kinakabahan ako..nalulungkot..pero eto na yung pagkakataong mabago ang buhay namen..

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, just think about the positive things that will be coming your way. ilan years na nahiwalay sayo ang bro mo, di ba, ito rin ang time na puede ka makipagbond sa kapatid mo.  Tsaka iba na ang Xmas ngyon, may skype na.  Puede naman kayo magskype ng anak mo.

Isipin mo nalang ang dami daming ibang naghahanap ng work at gusto mag abroad. May iba naloko pa ng recruiter. Ikaw andyan na ang opportunity for you and your family. Tapos safe ka pa dun because of your brother.  So go ka na. Think positive. Pray.

Before you leave, make your plan. Anong objectives mo sa pagpunta abroad? Mahirap mag abroad at mamuhay mag isa at iwan ang anak so you should make it worthy. As for me, I am just waiting na matapos mabayaran ang house namin and magkaron ng ipon then I can go home na. A person's greed is endless pero you should learn when to stop and how to prioritize things.

I agree kay sis GAB. This is very important, you have to think through ano ang balak mong gawin, your plan A and B, possibilities.  Of course as you go along, it does not mean firm na ang plans mo, puede sila magbago, for the better. So weigh things also once in a while.

[chubzkittinz]

Thanks sis!.. makakatulong nga na hindi ako mahomesick kasi andun ang kuya ko..and yes sis, i have plans na din..sana maging ok lahat..

[ysa_38]

I tried to be an ofw but only for 2 weeks. Di ko nakayanan malayo sa mga babies ko. Now I'm moving forward with my life. I thank God for having very supportive parents and siblings. Siguro kung wala sila, hindi ko na alam kung ano mangyayari sa akin. I charge it all to experience. Do I regret it? NO. I am happy with my decision to go back and be with my family. Money isn't everything, (lalo na kung kayang kaya makuha dito sa Pinas yung sasahudin sa ME) your family is. Di man ako naging successful being an OFW, I know God has planned better things for me and I can't wait to unfold them one by one.

[adel24]

For me mahirap iwan ang anak lalo na baby pa lang, kasi I had experienced it with my 2 daughters.  We left them for 7 months with my mum to go abroad. Nung kinuha na namin sila to be with us ang first reaction ng youngest daughter namin is to hide behind my mum's back nung kinakausap ko siya , that was really heart breaking. I broke into tears.  Over those 7 mos, we tried skypeing with them but they were still too young to understand.  We left them when they were 2 and 4 respectively.  So from then on, I swore never to leave them again.

[chubzkittinz]

Hindi ako natuloy mga sis..I was about to go december 12..and i got sick december 8..i had an operation..so hindi kinayang umalis pa..somehow i got sad kasi nawala yung opportunity to change our lives..pero naisip kong hindi talaga pinermit ni god na umalis ako..i guess its not for me..now,i'm having second thoughts if ituloy ko pa sya..anyway, matagal pa naman, since i have to go back to zero..

[lovely_carrot]

Ako I'm a product of an OFW Mom, she worked in Hongkong for 28 years. Laking lolo at lola talaga kami ng sisters and cousins ko. Up until last year, I have no plans of working abroad, kasi alam ko yung lungkot at hirap na walang kasamang magulang (my mom is a single mom btw).

Pero things happened, I'm a single mom too. Okay naman work ko dito, nakakabuhay naman ang sweldo. Yun nga lang, pano pagdating ng college ng anak ko? My daughter pa naman mataas ang pangarap either pastry chef or pediatrician daw.

I'm hoping na this year makakaalis ako, middle east din. Ngayon pa lang kinokondisyon ko na daughter ko na there is a possibility na mag abroad ako at maiwan ko sya sa Mama ko. It will be hard pero mas maganda lang talaga ngayon na advance na technology, pwede skype and other means to communicate. Kami noon, snail mail pa talaga. Paguwi pa ng Mama ko dun lang talaga kami nagkikita.

It will be sad but I know it will be worth it.

[Girltalker2]

TS, pray ka lang and let Him guide you. Hindi naman ibig sabihin hindi ka natuloy ba eh forever kang di matutuloy.

Once I was supposed to go abroad din, but for some reason, di natuloy and I was so devastated. Little did I know that after 4 months, nagkaron ako ng better na country na pupuntahan. Since bitbit ko ang kids with me, this environment din was much better for kids kesa sa unang destination ko.

Pray for His guidance and always thank Him for that.

[chubzkittinz]

^sana ganyan din ako sis..mabitbit ko si family ko..

[ieiky]

I'm an OFW working single mom. Sobrang hirap iwan ang anak ko when I was offered a job here. I cannot bring him here kasi short term lang ang project namin. I was with him since baby pa siya. Hindi ako nag work till 5th month niya and thru his growing days until mag 4 yrs old sya, I was there.

Pero I know I need to make a decision. Naawa din ang family ko sa baby ko kase ako na nga lang ang nag iisang magulang niya, iiwan ko pa daw. And I understand them very much. Lalo na at hindi naman tumatagal ang mga yaya ngayon. Paiba iba ang nag aalaga sa anak ko. Masakit sa akin but I have to be strong. For me and for my baby. Wala akong support na nakuha sa daddy niya at hindi nga man lang nakikibalita kung sino ang nagaalaga or kung buhay pa kaming mag-ina.

Thankful lang ako kase I can go home every three months and stay in the Philippines for two weeks. Malungkot din mag isa, pero may GOAL ako. after this project, sisiguraduhin ko na enough ang na save ko for me and my kids. Nag hahanap hanap din ako ng work online para makapag work ako sa Pinas. I agree with sis @GirlTalker2, nag hahanap ako ng ibang options sa kung saan puwede kami  manirahan na magkasama ng anak ko.

[smm_0411]

I am also an OFW mom, I left my eldest daughter when she was 6yrs. Old and so far okay naman ang relationship namin pag umuuwi ako for vacation.  2010 I got pregnant for our 2nd child. My hubby came with me para may kasama ako during my pregnancy.  2011 we went back home to give birth and since I don't have the choice, I left my baby when she was 2 months old and when back home again when she was 7months old. It seems na hindi sya naninibago makita ako kasi lagi din nakadikit sya sa akin. the saddest part was pag aalis nako sobrang broken hearted ako when I see my kids crying. 

I'll make it sure na everyday kami mag kausap sa skype and also I went home 2x a year.  so far pag umuuwi ako ay halos hindi na humihiwalay mga kids ko sakin at talagang sinusulit nila bawat araw na nasa pinas ako.

Sobrang hirap ng pagiging OFW mom aka Online Mom pero I know that these sacrifices will give them much better future.

[angelholics]

hi chubzkittinz, continue to pray and seek for guidance. i have a friend single mom and nasa middleeast sya. dito lang sya sa pinas nanganak tas bumalik right after sa abroad. un bata 4yr old na ngaun and kahit yearly sya umuuwi parang hindi sya kinikilala mas malapit pa sa lola..

i hope that when you leave and start working abroad maka ipon ka ng madami the soonest so you can achieve your goals and either you bring your family abroad or back here in PH para sama sama kayo all the best!

anyway since you said your hubby is staying with your kid/kids. ok na din un may parental guidance kaso hirap naman ng LDR.

regarding naman sa hindi nakatapos si hubby mo, PUP Open University sis pede nyo sya i enroll na undergraduate.minimal lang ang tuition fee and at least 4yr course with diploma na... open for application til May for 1st sem.

[fionnah325]

@angelholics: ako  sana may plan na magwork abroad kaso ayaw ng partner ko...may baby din kasi kami..hirappala talaga pag may resposibilities na hirap na magrab ang mga dumadating sayo na mga magagandang bagay

[angelholics]

hi @fionnah325, i have read most of your posts
in your case kase, mukang wala ka pag iiwanan ng baby dahil sa history ng parents mo na parang ATM machine ang tingin sayo.. excuse for those words..
pero if you will have someone to look after your kid, i think you should muster the courage and have financial freedom para history won't repeat itself

[three8one]

For OFW mothers..how did you manage na iwan ang family for working abroad?

Im feeling sad na kasi..iniisip ko palang na aalis ako, nalulungkot na ako..

sobrang hirap!....... everday voice call, video call not enough.... how i wish one day maimbento na yung habang tinatawagan mo naaamoy mo na din yung scents ng mga anak mo.

madalas ko din maisip sana may power akong mag teleport para everytime na kailangan ako ng anak ko ang bilis lang makapunta...

kaya kung dun sa pupuntahan mo sis may chance na makasunod pamilya mo yun ang i workout mo. mas malapit lapit pa yun sa katotohanan kesa dun sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa itaas.. hehe!

[Obachan]

Ito ang mahirap 

Kahit 5 years old na baby ko when I left to work overseas
at kahit maiiwan sya sa mother ko, hindi pa rin ako kampante.
Can't sleep at night and always thinking about my baby if she's ok , na wala bang masakit sa kanya.

Hindi ko naman sya pwede kunin dahil walang mag-aalaga sa kanya if papasok na ako sa office.
Mahal ng nanny, accomodation and school fees overseas.
So just to compensate this, during her school vacation, pinagbakasyon ko baby ko ng 1month overseas kasama 2 ko pa "ampon"(niece na tinuring ko ng anak), para lang makasama ko sya kahit 1 month lang, at kahit mahal pamasahe.

And everytime meron public holiday kahit 3 days lang, umuuwi ako pinas.
para masubaybayan ko pag laki nya.

I told to myself " I can earn money, but I cannot buy the time to be with my families"

[euwie]

Sobrang hirap.  Nasa pinas na baby ko, parents ko nag aalaga and my 2 sisters. Bumibisita rin cousins nya and yung isang pinsan ko rin to look after him. I am so grateful to them kasi they really take good care of my baby. Ayoko kasi kumuha ng nanny dito kasi praning ako na baka hindi naman maalagaan si baby talaga kaya mas titiisin ko na lang na mahiwalay sya sa amin na may assurance na inaalagaan naman sya talaga.

Kung ako lang masusunod gusto ko na talaga umuwi para maalagaan baby ko. Pero hindi pa, not yet. Kelangan pa mag ipon. My son has resident's visa and he visits us regularly together with my parents and sister and they stay here for 3 months max then balik ulit pinas,  then ganon na naman balik dito. Malaking gastos pero ok lang at least maski papaano nakakasama namin ni mister anak ko.

Ang parents ko they don't want me to quit my job any time soon. They always reassure me na in good hands anak ko. They take care of him ng walang kapalit. Hindi rin kami nagpapadala for our son. Alam kasi nila na may pinupundar kami kaya yung expenses ng anak ko sagot nila. Pero syempre kapag umuuwi naman kami we provide for our son's needs pero yun nga, mabait parents ko, ultimong yung mga diapers ng anak ko pinapahingi ako ng mommy ko sa daddy ko ng pambili. We are so blessed to have supportive parents. Yun na lang iniisip ko para maski papaano gumaan loob ko. Na malayo man ako sa anak namin, at least panatag loob ko na he's well taken care of and well loved.