Wives Who Are the Breadwinners

[bluish_mommy]

^true. I can say partnership din kami ng husband ko. He has a job although I earn almost 3x of what he earns. He calls me the breadwinner ng family kasi nga dahil mas malaki ang suweldo ko. Pero any decisions sa bahay 50-50 lagi, sa aming 2 lagi nanggagaling. hindi purkit mas malaki ang suweldo ko, mas may say ako sa mga decisions.

[icee_star]

For me no issue, eh sa ganon talaga eh. Ang mahalaga hindi tamad ang partner mo at hindi lahat inasa sayo. Basta nakikita mo yung effort na nagprovide pa rin siya no matter how small it is, then good yon. At yung goal na gusto kahit man lang malapit sa kinikita mo mas plus points

[ysa_38]

Unfortunately, I belong here it's tiring and frustrating to make ends meet every single day.

[FayeP]

sis ysa_38, it's sad to hear na nafufrustrate ka na sa sitwasyon na to...I've been in this situation for more than 3 years already...ang sakin nga lang is napag-usapan at napagkasunduan talaga namin ni hubby na ganito ang set up...ako work at cya ang sa bata...

although may mga times na nagkukulang kami, di pa naman nagkaron ng kahit isang pagtatalo regarding money (kasi unang una wala kami money para pagtaluhan haha)...kahit nagkukulang kami, ok lang din sakin kasi after all ako may gusto nito na magwork full time at cya ang sa house...

sa totoo lang un ginagawa ng asawa ko na alaga sa anak, luto, linis, laba naku di ko kaya un kun ako maiiwan sa house baka tamarin ako ng bongga! kaya saludo ako sa asawa ko...

sis ysa_38, napagkasunduan nyo ba yan na ikaw ang sole breadwinner?

[ri-anne]

My mom was one and she resented it. Past tense kasi graduate na kaming magkakapatid so pera nya kanya na lang to enjoy. Whole time i was growing up naririnig ko sa kanya na dapat lalaki ang bumubuhay at nagttrabaho para sa pamilya, hindi yung babae. So i have a lot of respect to all of you wives who are breadwinners. You have to bring home the bacon, AND cook it too (from Kramer vs Kramer)

[googoo]

^ It's sad that she resented it  Both should work naman talaga.  If the wifey is earning more, she should probably just be thankful that she does, rather than complaining that the hubby is earning less.  It's a blessing to the family and wives should look at it that way.  Whatever we have comes from God, swerte lang tayo na tayo yung vessel na ginagamit.  Unless hubby nagiging pabaya, we should not take it against him period.

[TysLolakins]

different circumstances we have that resulted with the wife as the breadwinner.  I for one is in that group, pero no resentment whatsoever on my part or his.  I totally agree with sis googoo, to look at it as a blessing, not a curse.  actually, if you look at the bigger picture, in our case, I may make triple of what he does salary wise, but his company benefits outweigh mine since it is a federal job.  let's just all be thankful that we have jobs that we love, pay the bills, and allow us to prepare for the future.  it should not matter who makes more as long as the whole household benefits.

[Dacian]

i was the breadwinner before.  but now, siya na.

[kikaygirl5810]

I think this is ok for as long as the husband is not insecure about it and the wife is not that all braggy diba...

[FayeP]

pag sa ganitong sitwasyon talaga dapat napag-usapan ng maigi ng mag-asawa..sa case kasi namin, since mas malaki talaga un income ko at mas marami benefits, when we decided na isa magquit eh cya na talaga un...

pero di namin ito naging issue, na dapat ang lalaki ang nagwowork or kun ano man...saka di din talaga ako sanay ng walang sariling pera at naghihintay lang ng bigay ng asawa...

[imeego]

Different circumstances talaga, ok lang maging breadwinner ang wife as long as the husband is doing his part naman for the family...My mom was the breadwinner sa family namin.ok lang sa kanya coz she was earning way more than my father who was just a govt employee..di sya humingi sa father ko, lahat ng gastos inako na nya, sobrang bait kasi ng mother ko..but i guess she realized na mali din ang ganun, somehow she resented it too but it was too late..since di obligado magbigay si father, umabuso naman, nagkaron ng kabit na almost same age lang ng panganay namin tapos nagkaanak pa.. Pinakamasaklap eh nakaya nya pang magpatayo ng house para sa other family nya, to think na sa amin eh halos di sya maglabas ng pera nya kahit pa may sakit kami...and somehow, nabawasan ang respeto namin sa father ko coz di sya makapagprovide sa amin and yet nakaya nya magsustento ng ibang tao..dumating sa point na sinusumbatan na sya ng brothers ko, esp nung nagkasakit at namatay ang mother namin..sabi ko sa sarili ko dati, ayokong magkaron ng husband na tulad nya..

Sa amin ng husband ko, mutual decision na ako ang magquit sa job to take care of the kids, not because i was earning less kasi kung tutuusin kaya kong pantayan yung income nya coz we are in the same field, but knowing my husband na mapride, di yun papayag na ako ang maging provider..medyo traditional kasi sya, for him since sya ang lalaki, he will provide everything for us, sabi nga nya sya na ang bahala..and for that, i feel so blessed for having a husband like him, total opposite ng father ko

[psyche29]

im the breadwinner pati na rin sa family ko. im the eldest and the only girl. me and my husband talked about the support im giving my family. ok naman sya basta may naka set lang. dati kasi pataas ng pataas habang tumataas sweldo ko. but may pamasko pa rin, pang noche buena, birthdays and even monthly allowance na papa ko.

i am earning 9 times my husband's salary. palipat lipat kasi sya. immature. but now, i can see na he is already planning his career with his current company. dahil wala pa kami anak, wala problem. siguro dahil gusto din ng simpleng buhay. unti unti kami nag pundar. hubby is actually into basketball shoes, oakley sunglasses and shirts. pero tinuruan ko sya madisiplina. he is spoiled kasi youngest and only boy. 2 ate nya successful pero kahit 33yo na hubby ko pag humiling binibigay pa rin. haaiissst. ok naman ako regarding sa shoes kasi wala syang bisyo. hindi mahilig sa online games. basketball talaga ang buhay nya since high school. so, for me, i support na lang. hindi ko sya pagquit sa work nya if ever na magka baby kami kasi i still want him to feel na he is providing. anyways, super open and mga parents and inlaws ko magalaga pag nasa work kami so keri.

for me, i always think of the good side. the fact na binibigay nya sakin lahat ng sweldo nya and may allowance lang sya, is a sacrifice for him. kaya hindi ako aangal coz i know pinaghirapan nya rin yun but he is willing to trust me all of his earnings. hopefully makapundar ng business and sya yun mag papalakad nun. he is really good with pr kaya pag nakabawi, business na lang.

nasa usapan and pagtanggap nyo rin. as long na hindi tamad or pabigat na may mga bisyo, i dont think that it should be a problem if the wife is the main provider.

[psyche29]

^yes sis. Acceptance talaga. Mag 8years na kami as a couple. Almost 5 years na live in and 6mos na kasal. Lahat na napagawayan namin but not his earnings. So, yun sa earnings nya, hindi namin sya major na pinagaawayan. pinangangaralan ko sya sa career nya. Kasi ako, masaya ako sa work ko. Sabi ko sakanya, tutal kaya naman icover ng salary ko yun expenses namin (hulog kami bahay and car), look for something na alam nya na tatagal na sya and he sees himself growing. Hindi pa huli ang lahat but he needs to decide.

Its about what you and your hubby decides.  2 pa rin kayo and syempre, pag tinanggap yun sitwasyon na kaw ang breadwinner, stick w/ it. Walang pamukhuan. Naset nyo na yun expectations. So, plan out na lang yun future based sa setup nyo.

[youngblood]

Sorry mga sis this will be a rant..Hay paano ba medyo maibsan yang resentment nayan,,  ang galing kasi manghingi ng pera parang ATM.
" ma penge ako 100 "
" wala ako 100 diba nga sinweldohan ko yung yaya kulang pa nga eh"
"ano hinde ka nag tira ng pera para satin?"
"wow ang tapang mo manghinge eh i ikaw nga wala lang kita ilang buwan na"

--- sad kasi bumile pa ng sasakyan "pundar" ako naman ang nag mmonthly, walang problema sa ako mag  monthly kasi kaya naman, pero yung all together baon, pang gas etc,, buti kung isang buwan lang, several months na at pag may pera syang dumarating he spends it on that effing car. Wala kaming na ssave. He promised na mas llaki kita nya pag nabile yung sasakyan pero bokya wala ngyari ang daming excuses. Wala rin sakin kung ginagawa nya nag best nya para kumita pero be considerate naman, kung walang pera pang gas, mag commute. 10 minutes lang naman opisian nya galing sa bahay pag mag commute eh nag sasakyan pa. Tapos pag hinde ko bogyan ng pang gas sakin magagalit? ano yun?

[Evolet027]

2 yrs ago, ganito situation namin. and grabeng awayan nangyayari samen kasi, Mama ko, pinapahiwalay na ko sa hubby ko kasi nga tingin ng parents ko, palamunin ko na eh kalalaking tao. tapos traditional din parents ko na ang lalake dapat nagbabanat ng buto, at reason din naman ng parents ko di naman nila ko pinag aral para magpalamon ng asawa. :p

glad, naging ok ang business ni hubby. may hog farm na kame ngayon, ayos din kita. ako naman, sa career ko, oks din kita. wala pa kame ulit kids. namatay kasi baby namin 2 yrs ago, so ayun, sobrang hirap talaga na nawala na nga si baby, wala pa work si hubby. feeling ko pasan ko buong mundo nun sa bigat ng responsibilities kasi saken lahat ng bills. glad at sinuwerte din ako sa work, nagkaron ng business si hubby ( though yung business nya, sinikap kong ipunin yung puhunan, no prob sa lupa kasi, meron na kami talaga lupa from mother side ). so ngayon, sa tulong ng prayers at paghingi ng gabay kay Papa God, I think ni bless din nya kame.

[smile22]

i am not the sole breadwinner but i earn more than him. maybe because i was blessed with an able family who was able to send me to a good college. hubby's family is able naman but hindi natutukan ng parents nya yung schooling nila since parents were based abroad. so in short, he was very pasaway.

i got pregnant 2 years after college. sya hindi pa tapos nun. (he was 2 yrs older) but when he learned, nagpursigi naman sya at nakatapos ng 2 yr course.

currently, i work in the IT industry in a good company. sya, mag 3 years na sa work, hindi pa sya regular (in their company, it will take you about 5 years bago iregular). imagine minimum ang sweldo nya, at hindi nag iincrease. Their company also imposes forced OT. So he gets up at 7, at nakakauwi ng mga 10-11PM sa bahay. Halos d na sya nakikita ng anak nya. Minsan hindi ko alam kung nahihiya ba sya samin ng anak nya na ganun ang sweldo nya kaya sya nag OOT. Kasi paulit ulit ko na sinasabi sa kanya na baka ang kapalit nyan yung health nya. Hindi ko kailangan ng mas mataas na sweldo mo kung hindi ka naman nakikita ng anak mo. Siguro naiipit sya. Hindi rin makapag resign kasi baka nahihiya na kapag jobhunt sya, ako lang ang sumusweldo.

Haayys. Although alam ko din na grabe talaga sa company nila. Kawawa yung mga tao. Sya na kasi yung next na tenure, na pwede maregular. Kaya sabi nya tiis tiis lang daw. Naaawa tuloy ako sa kanya kasi baka bumigay nalang yung katawan nya. May kasunduan kami na by the mid year, if hindi pa sya naabsorb/regular... Magrresign sya.

[bluish_mommy]

^sorry sis ah, pero anong klaseng industry ang pinagtatrabahuhan ng husband mo? 3yrs hindi pa regular? at 5yrs bago maregular? alam ba ng DOLE yan? legal ba yun sis?

[smile22]

transport and logistics sis. a very well known company. although kasi agency-based sila. you know... the mother company gets their workforce from agency, para syempre kaunti ang binabayaran nila on compensation and benefits somthin like that... pag naprove na ni mother company na ok yung employee .. (apparently takes 3-5yrs) dun na nila iaabsorb...

same thing with SM supermalls and fast food chains diba contractual lang na 5 mos.. sa kanila contractual pero walang endo.. parang ganun...

gusto ko na nga ipaDOLE hahaha! kaso ang gulo e., andami ding ibang company na lantaran na gumagawa nun...

[janachen]

gosh balbas! I am so frustrated now. 100% ako na ang kumikita.. Hindi ko alam ang plans nya, kasi pagkatinatanung ko wala naman siyang maisasagot. Tapos gusto nya nakatambay sa labas.

Parang pagka wala pa syang gagawin this year, magcocollapse na ang relasyon namin. :-( Hindi naman ako humihingi na malaking pera pero sana man lang makatulong financially.

Any advice guys?

[nicoletta]

I'm a breadwinner in a way pero my husband works din.  Girls, be thankful nalang that you have money to support your family and just encourage your husband to do better.  Walang mangyayari sa relationships natin pag ipapamukha yan.