Engagement ring...

[super bratinella]

sis batangpasaway, sayang ang moment kahit sinulid nga lang yan basta for as long as gusto ng boyfriend mo ikaw ang napili niyang bigyan ng last name niya at super love mo rin naman ang guy it really does not matter, ang iba nga live in lang sapat na, pero ikaw nagpropose sayo to be his wife so sayang ang moment..


My husband wears our wedding ring all them time except pag nag lalaro siya ng basketball ako hinuhubad ko pag nasa bahay sinusuot ko lang pag aalis..

[batangpasaway]

sis. 22 palang kase ako ng nagpropose si bf. so parang nagsisimula palang career ko nun. e si bf 26 na nun... di padin talaga ako prepared. sya parang ready na to get married pero ako dipa. diko naisip na pwede naman ang long term engagement. before pa sya umalis ng bansa gusto nya magpacivil wedding kame. ayoko din. disappointed din ako sa ring pero after ilang years nung kinwento nya saken na yung singsing na binigay nya ay yun lang talaga pera nya nung time na yun. naguilty ako ng sobra. tapos ngayun pag naiisip ko yung ginawa ko sa kanya. sobrang nagreregret ako. pati yung diko pagpayag sa civil wedding. sinayang ko talaga yung moment. at nung malayo na sya tsaka ko narealize na sya nadin pala gusto ko maging husband.  ngayun nga iniisip ko kahit magtext lang sya ng will you marry me magyeyes talaga ko kahit eto ulit ibgay nya or kahit wala syang ibigay basta pakasalan nya lang ako... ansaket sisses. sobrang effort pa naman ng ginawa nyang video nun saying na gusto nyang tumanda kasama ko, magkapamilya kame... kaya I learned the lesson in a hard way talaga to the point na I almost lost him pa dahil sa nagbabadyang 3rd party sa abroad. pero buti he has still chosen na isave yung relationship namen. sana hindi nagbabago plans nya para saken kase inaantay ko talaga sya na balikan ako...

[Chili1113]

batangpasaway: Dont regret!!! Don't blame yourself. I dont think it was the ring kung bakit hindi ka nag "yes" sa bf mo. Fact is, you were only 22 and hindi ka pa ready. And if your boyfriend really loves you then he will understand that. Plus as you said, during that time hindi pa masyado financially capable yung bf mo. So it also wasn't the right time. Just keep communications open and let him know that you are committed to him, and that you always knew  he was the one for you-- except that you werent ready yet at 22 years old back then.

[yannuh]

^^sis wag ka na ma-sad. atleast nag-initiate na si bf before. gusto mo iopen mo na lang ulit sa kanya yung topic. kung ano plano. para malaman nya na ready ka na now:)

[batangpasaway]

^sisses. thank you. yes, hindi naman sa ring yung reason ko for rejecting the proposal. pero gusto ko padin ng magandang engagement ring syempre. wala pa kameng ipon nun plus bata pa talaga ko nun. mejo nabawasan yung regret at guilt ko ngayun dahil sa inyo. pero I should have say yes kahit long term engagement man lang. diko alam sis kung panu sasabihin sa kanya e. pero nagpaparinig naman ako na sana nagpacivil nakame bago sya umalis pero tumatawa lang sya. di narin sya nagsasabe ng plans nya saken. kaya wala akong choice but to wait...

[mikky21]

Oopsss sorry sis i missed out your post na 22 years old ka pa lang that time na you have reasons and all. Ang nabasa ko lang kasi yung post mo na gusto mo ng ring na maipagmamalaki. Anyway in that case maghintay ka na nga lang muna. Pangit naman kasi kung ikaw na lang mag-oopen lagi. Baka in the end you might feel na the wedding is just being pushed through kasi makulit ka. Malay mo naman he's cooking something big for you. We'll never know. Cheer up sis.

[shygirlme]

^^sinabi mo ba sa kanya yung reason bakit mo tinurn down proposal nya?

[yannuh]

sis if super tagal nyo na, [textspeak!] na ikaw mag open ng topic:) wala na sa kanya yun hihi baka kasi nag aantayan lang kayo. hinihintay nya na maging ready ka na tapos ikaw din pala naghihintay haha

[simang]

sis batangpasaway, let it go na lang, what's done is done.. if he stayed with you even after what happened, then that's proof enough na he wants to be with you whether you two are engaged or not. and as what has been said by most here, you have to open up your feelings to your partner, since matagal naman na kayo, talking about settling down wouldn't be a big deal i hope.. regards to you sis. parang nag-pile up ang issues nyo when you guys went on LDR baka naninibago lang kayo.

[mrs.abc]

Sa akin naman, ang first reaction ko nung nakita ko ang e-ring ko ay parang usual na saya lang pag nagbibigay ng gift si fiance. I'm happy and I liked it naman talaga, pero yong value nya for me at that time can be compared sa ibang "expensive" gifts na binibigay nya (like when he gave me a watch for Christmas, or bracelet nung anniversary). As the days go by hanggang ngayon na 2years engaged na kami, parang palaki ng palaki ang value ng ring ko para sakin. Kasi everytime na nakikita ko ring ko, naalala ko yong day when he asked me to marry him. Naalala ko fiance ko at napapasmile ako. So I guess, ang real value ng e-ring ko ay ang happy memories na sinisymbolize nya. Plus points na lang yong design at bato.

[pinaydiaspora]

^ True. It's not the design, aesthetic or the material value of the e-ring that matters..its just a material symbolism na at that time the love of your life asked you to to marry him. Like any girls out there, I had this perfect idea of what I want my e-ring to be espc how my future husband would propose to me. Dramatic and classy. But when it came, it was so unexpected and simple. Even the ring wasn't as bongga as I have imagined it to be -- something like what you see hollywood celeb wears. But what he gave me, I realized after seeing it, was what I really dreamed of. The e-ring symbolizes his love and commitment to our relationship which I must admit eh hindi lahat nabibiyayaan ng ganun kaya I really felt lucky and blessed.

Sis batangpasaway Don't be too guilty about what happened before because maybe hindi pa yun yung right time for you to be engaged besides you guys were still young at that time. But the fact that he already felt ready to be committed to you for life meant something, yun lang you guys were not on the same page. Given na today you're regretting why you didn't say yes before but think about it --if you did, do you think you would be really happy? You both need to grow on your own and to realize the true importance pf each other in your lives. Trust me, if he wants to marry you.. He will mary you. But,in instances like this na you rejected him na before, it would be much better to talk to him about what are your next plans as a couple. It may seem awkward at first but its your relationship na kelangan ng clarity kung saan ba talaga papunta. Men, based from experience, sometimes need a little push from us -- the woman that they love. They have this so called pride na ayaw ng rejection. They also needs assurance like us. So.. Try to open up a serious talk with him and dun mo talaga malalaman if its really worth the wait. Goodluck

[arlon06]

pero gusto ko padin ng magandang engagement ring syempre.

I thought you said in your previous post na kahit walang engagement ring ok lang? I just feel bad for the guy. It must have taken him months probably years even to come up with the courage to finally ask you to marry him. Kahit ilang years na kayo into the relationship no matter how comfortable you are with each other, it still takes a ton of courage for us guys to ask our ladies hand in marriage. I understand that you both might not have been ready at that time but you seeing that it was just a silver ring also played a big part in your decision. I'm assuming that the incident hurt his ego no matter how much he loves you. At least in the end you learned something out of it, although the hard way.

[120515]

if only filipinos are more open to the idea of ladies proposing to guys 

sis batangpasaway, if you think that you are prepared to get married - emotionally and financially - then maybe you can propose?  i say this in a half-joking manner though because the philippines is such a conservative country and the social norm is for the guy to propose to the girl. however, it's done in other parts of the world and it's not something that is frowned upon. for example, my husband's friend received the marriage proposal from his girlfriend.

anyway, don't beat yourself up about the "lost opportunity." you were not ready to get married at that time and your reasons are valid - you felt you were too young, you didn't have any savings, you were just starting your career. it seems like there are communication issues in your relationship right now and maybe you need to work that out with your boyfriend first.

[batangpasaway]

sis simang. oo parang ganun nga. sobrang dameng issues kaagad in such a short span ng ldr namen kaya it would be really hard na ibrought up pa yung topic for marriage. ayoko din naman na he will marry me dahil prinessure ko sya pero ayun nga nagpaparinig ako minsan sa kanya naman at alam nyang anlake ng regret ko dun. e wala syang reaction pag nagsasabe ako ng ganun. kaya I think ang pinakabest na magagawa ko is to wait for him na iopen yun. mga 1-2 years ko pa syang antayin. after nun. tatanungin ko na sya talaga at if wala parin syang sagot I guess pati sya kelangan ko nadin ilet go. (pero sana may plano padin sya samen)
lahat ng babae gusto ng magandang engagement ring naman talaga pero kung anung ibigay ni partner, we would accept it naman. basta makasal. given na emotionally, spiritually, physically at financially stable kame parehas. kaya nga sabe ko diba para saken kung bibigyan ako ng magandang engagement ring bonus nalang yun ngayun pero what's more important is yung commitment ni bf saken. i also felt bad din naman nung ireject ko proposal ni bf at alam kong sya din nasaktan. pero alam kong alam nya sa sarili nya na dipa talaga pwede nun. di lang dahil sa silver ring kundi dahil nadin sa wala pa kameng ipon at bata pa talaga ako nun pero I admit naman na nagcomplain talaga ako sa singsing...

[t_r_i_c_i_a]

My MIL to be is such a spoiler. She showed me the diamond ahead of my bf. Sabi nga ng bf ko bakit sayo ipinakita, ikaw ba anak? She asked for my size casually, to choose the setting that I like, and even the color. Sagot naman ako ng sagot. Wala nang element of surprise. Nonetheless, I'm still thankful. Ang mystery na lang is kung kailan ang proposal.

[Chili1113]

batangpasaway: you mentioned ang dami nyo issues and problems since your relationship became a LDR. And that you recently had issues with a 3rd party lurking around him. Them perhaps you should be super thankful that you didn't say yes to his proposal years ago. Marrying a person will not solve your issues and problems. In fact, whatever problems you have will be more complicated because you already share a life together and have bigger responsibilities.

And I am so sure he knows you want to marry him bec. you brought up getting civilly married before he leaves the country. Alam na nya yun.

Thing is, don't ever take getting married civilly lightly. Ive been married before and OMG... sobrang grabe hirap to infinity mag pa annul civilly compared to what I went through to get my church annullment! 

[mikky21]

^i couldnt agree more with sis chili's opinion re sis batangpasaway's situation. Anyway sis chili, if you dont mind bakit mas maghirap magpaanull sa civil? So totoo pala mga nababasa ko na mas matibay daw ang kasal kapag civil. I was thinking of having one before the church wedding kasi hindi kami pareho ng religion ni h2b baka maging null and void pa kasal namin lol (wag naman sana) pero ayaw niya talaga. Gusto niya isang kasal lang.

[mikky21]

^aw but at least yours is shorter than the usual. Just think of it as pampalubag-loob. Haha. Im assuming you got married by civil rites first then church wedding. Tama ba? That's the usual scenario kasi na nakikita ko. Did you file both of your weddings ba kaya you had to annul them both?

Im getting married in Baguio. Honestly i dont have a masterplan pa about the wedding. i was just curious about what happened to your annulment. Hehe. Anyhow i think wed be able to get the marriage license naman. Pero i just want to assure that there will be no grounds for annulment kahit na church wedding lang kami. Kasi nabother ako about kris aquino's anullment kasi their reason was the officiant (i dont know if that's the right term) even if he had the legal right to officiate a wedding, may mga limitations pala like kris aquino's because of the religion daw. Basta something like that ang naging issue. Hindi ako sure sa full detail.

 i might just ask h2b to have our civil wedding na lang after the church wedding. Lol. Naniniguro lang. Hahaha.

[blackgreen]

^^sis mikky21, if i remember it right, ang sinasabi nilang issue kasi both catholic sila tapos yun offiiciant nila protestant.

[ece]

My MIL to be is such a spoiler. She showed me the diamond ahead of my bf. Sabi nga ng bf ko bakit sayo ipinakita, ikaw ba anak? She asked for my size casually, to choose the setting that I like, and even the color. Sagot naman ako ng sagot. Wala nang element of surprise. Nonetheless, I'm still thankful. Ang mystery na lang is kung kailan ang proposal.

When and How sis. Sweet naman ni MIL to be! Siya ang bumili o kasama siyang bumili?