WOW..I think I have found some here that I can say "sisters from another mother" hahaha!

Grabe mga sis, ganyan na ganyan din ako tulad nyo! at eto na eto rin concern ko sa sarili ko!

Just a little background...
I grew up with a very strict mom, single mom na siya since 6months ako, 3 kaming magkakapatid. Hindi kami ng ate ko pinapalabas even with just friends, even with commuting. fast forward one of the most rebellious thing I did was maglayas, pero actually mama ko nag-sabi ng "get-out!"

isip isip ko that time, "this is it!!"

kala ko naman my life will get better. I ran away from home and stayed with my then-bf-now-husband-now-ex-ish lol. turned out isa pa pala itong asawa ko na over protective and mega jealous. my world even became more small..then I got pregnant to our daughter and after 1 yr I decided to move back to my mom due to the abuse of my husband.
since living with my mom, parang bumalik sa dati buhay ko

even if I have a daughter na, bantay parin ako, if ma-late lang ako ng uwi ng 30mins before, tatanong na yan bakit ang tagal ko. buti nga ngayon lie-low na siya, pero I still have this feeling inside na "dapat umuwi agad" like her voice is permanently engraved in my head. So what do you expect from that? NO SOCIAL LIFE.
When I tried to make friends with officemates, okay na sana, but after several painful and lesson-learned experiences, talagang this made me become an introvert. Pano, those officemates just dropped me like a hot potato as soon as someone they know and new comes into our office. this has happened in the past narin in my other jobs.So I just decided to not go to lunches with them anymore, and just eat on my own, sa desk ko. kahit pag team0building, I am not enthusiastic to join, lagi ako may excuses..which mos of it naman talaga is tutuo kasi tinatamad ako..ayoko ng mga team building/dinner after shift ng Fridays..malayo bahay namin habang sila taga dito lang sa area. basta..wala talaga na akong gana makipag close..para sakin , tama na ang civil kami lahat sa isat isa..konting kwento etc thats it. I deactivated the office fb account that I made kasi i feel it is useless. Tamad din ako gumimick kasi I did not grow up to have the freedom to do so..at lalo na may daughter ako..parang I can't help but feel guilty if I spent the whole day na nga sa office tapos after office hanggang gabi ganun parin.
there is so much I wanna do! It's like I'm itching for a more exciting, fulfilling and happier life than what I have now na bahay-office-bahay crap! haha! I wanna move forward, I want to explore. Masyado na naging stagnant buhay ko. I'm 29yo na but I feel like I still have a looong way to go

hayyy!!! how to get out of this situation?? I feel like I am aging na haha,,wala naman ako problem with my social skills, I still laugh at jokes, crack jokes, magaan kasama but I do not want to make close friends na..sorry napa haba..natuwa lang kasi ako na hindi pala ako nag-iisa!! haha
