On inviting guests...

[belle_v2g]

Over inviting worked well for us too. We've invited 230 guests, 203 came (adult count only) some brought kids.. maybe 2 or 3 yata in addition to my 10 pax kiddie table.

I had 4 gate crashers. 4 yung alam ko..

[sevenstars]

Hi anneshirley, I think you can count on a lower attendance rate as well as a much smaller possibility of wedding crashers/last-minute flakes because you're having an overseas destination wedding. (Plus you said you're not close to a lot of the invited family members, which means they're less likely to come if they have to travel.)

Here's what we did in terms of timeline: VIP guests (bridal party, immediate family, close friends) were given a heads-up about the date as soon as we booked our venue; save the dates went out 7-8 months in advance; and invitations were mailed out at the 3-month mark. My RSVP deadline is 2 months out.

I'm planning for 80 guests, but as a contingency I chose a venue that was big enough to hold 200 if necessary -- I invited about 175 but I know a lot of them won't come. I know finding a venue with that flexibility can be difficult, but I think it's worth the peace of mind; I took one of my favourite venues off the list because they absolutely wouldn't accommodate more than 80 people. There's a good chance that I'll have fewer guests than that (I expect I'll end up between 60-70), but I didn't think it was worth it to run the risk.

[anneshirley]

Thanks girls, super helpful ang thoughts nyo (I'll go back to my dad and apologize na rin  )

Just a quick question tho: are caterers usually flexible with the guest count? I.e. if they have a minimum consumable amount, okay lang ba na mabawasan number of plates as long as you keep within that number? My circumstances may be different (I'll have to check with my options) but just wanna check if ganun sa Philippines..

Thanks again ladies 

[olai]

Hi! I need some comments here.

Im planning to invite 10 of my coworkers who are all married. I have only met their spouses twice or thrice in my entire 3 years working with them. I wanted them to witness my wedding but our budget is really tight and I can't afford additional 10 heads for their spouses. I know that it's unethical to not invite their spouses but it will compromise ny budget. That is easily additional P15k for us if ever. How will I handle this?

[Purple_Power]

^Mukhang mahirap nga yan. Though I remember my sister in law received an invitation tapos mukhang bongga pa yung kasal na they are even required to wear gowns sa itsura pa lang ng invitation halatang bongga na ang pupuntahan niya but guess what my brother who is of course her husband is not invited. I think okay lang naman not to include spouses lalo na kung minsan mo lang naman na meet saka co workers mo naman sila, at that point understandable naman kung bakit hindi mo isama spouse saka madami na yang iinvite mo. That is the reason why sa invites mo you should include reserved seats para understood na sila lang invite mo.

anneshirley I think that should be depending on your caterer. Just like in my case sa upcoming event I only reserved 80 persons then the caterer told me I should inform them 3 days before the event kung may dagdag. Mas allowed yung dagdag rather than bawasan.

[reese17]

Hmm that is tough. Are all of your officemates guaranteed to go? Personally, I would invite officemates + spouses or not invite the whole group at all, rather than risk offending anyone. You could do an initial RSVP first for priority guests (do a Save the Date thing) and I'm sure you will have an initial fallout naman so you can accommodate your colleagues' spouses

[fluffyfluff]

Hi olai! I agree with reese17 try to make an initial rsvp and check if maybe you can squeeze those 10 additional heads in since most of the time not all guests could attend because of some prior plans or commitment try to check first before inviting your officemates para lang sure ka. But if for some reason you can't do an initial RSVP, the question now is close ka ba or do you have an ok relationship sa 10 na yun? If yes, then I think they'll be able to understand your predicament
Your wedding is YOUR day, you should not let what others think trouble you. Ang importante is for you and your partner to enjoy the start of your life together

[geek_squad]

hello mga sis, bago lang ako sa forum and engaged since last year. nag fafinalize na kami ng guest list. ask ko lang mga sis paano kung dati nang nag send the 'regrets' yung guests but now na malapit na ang kasalan biglang nag confirm na pupunta sila? Will you turn them away?

ang problema kasi namin, nung nag send sila ng regrets, nag invite na kami ng iba.  Yung ibang inimbita namin na nag decline sa invitation initially, lives overseas. Sa side ko yung, barkada ko ng high school. She initially declined our invite pero ngayon nag sabi sila na makakapunta na sila and kasama din nya yung husband and new born nya (adult reception pa man din kami  )  Sa side naman ni fiance, yung pinsan nya plus kasama yung husband and two kids.

Ang hirap! pwede kaya namin sabihin na sila lang ang invited and hindi na kasama spouse and kids?

[Purple_Power]

Another suggestion is you must have list of priority guests of course your family relatives friends and other more important to you then since you mentioned that you are budgeted then 2nd priority mo talaga ang officemates mo. Send Save the Date invites with deadline of confirmation, hindi pa ito yung mismong invitation niyo just the date with the details of address. From there kasi malalaman mo na kung sino ang may possible guest na hindi pwede. Kung nataon maraming alanganin or let me say 10 yung alanganin then your officemate can join na.

We have celebration too though not a wedding, yung hubby ko gusto rin invite officemates. Nag aalangan rin siya due to budget. So ganyan rin ginawa namin. Tight rin budget namin. Then somehow when I am inviting somebody it happens na may iba sa mga target ko na confirm na hindi makakapunta yung iba tentative pa which is I assume malaki ang chance na hindi makakapunta. So sinabihan ko na yung hubby ko na invite na niya officemates niya dahil malaki ang chance. May other relatives rin ako na 2nd priority naisama ko na rin sa invites. Sa catering we reserved 80 muna then will inform them kapag may dagdag. So far ang target namin is 93 persons.

[olai]

Hi Purple_Power, fluffyfluff and reese17!

Thanks for all your suggestions! I guess I have to send the save the dates within this month though my wedding is on November pa naman. Baka nga may mga hindi maka attend. Then I can make room na for them and their spouses. But I'll also test the waters na lang din if they will go without their spouses. I'll just think of some ways to do that. Apparently, one of my officemates is planning her outfit na on my wedding eh I haven't even sent a save the date invite. Oh no.

But you're right @fluffyfluff, it's me and my husband-to-be's day. We don't have to please each and everyone around us, 😀

[Maxim04]

^yes sis olai, correct! We dont have to please everybody talaga. Its our wedding day and everything is our decision, not theirs. Whatever we do, meron talagang masasabi ang ibang tao. 

Recently lang when we started to distribute our save the dates, one of my tita told me, one of my tita in the province daw told everyone in the province na everyone is invited at meron kaming "paservice". Means susunduin sila sa province to attend my wedding. Natawa nalang ako. Then i handed this tita the invitation, clearly stating, "we have reserved 1 seat for you".
 
Minsan nakakainis na sarili lang nila inisip nila, tipong "invite yourself", pinapangunahan yung invitation ng ikakasal. Kala nila mura ang gastos at can afford namin manundo ng bisita sa probinsya. hehe. 
Nakikinita kong lalo sila manggigil pag d sila naabutan ng "save the date invites" 

[belle_v2g]

I remember exactly what happened to me sis maxim. Guests from province we paid for their van too. Medyo questionable nung una pero sige na lang. Ayoko na lang makipagtalo esp sa mom ko.

[anneshirley]

Natawa ako sa 1 seat only thing Maxim04!

I've been to weddings in my dad's province and from experience it's more focused on quantity than quality. I'd wager around 2 barangays are present in the weddings I've been to and even though there would be 8 mains in the buffet selection, everything would taste the same haha But usually the expectation talaga is everyone is invited.

There's a shift na kasi (and for the better, I think) where more brides prioritize quality over quantity na. If given an option of a nice sit down dinner for 200 guests or a generic buffet line for 500, I think more people now would go for the former. This is something that can be hard to grasp for the titas in the province; and besides they're not the ones making the trade off. Kainis lang their expectations sometimes haha

[olai]

When is the best time to send save the date invites to the guests? 😀

[sparklingjewel]

^yes sis olai, correct! We dont have to please everybody talaga. Its our wedding day and everything is our decision, not theirs. Whatever we do, meron talagang masasabi ang ibang tao. 

Recently lang when we started to distribute our save the dates, one of my tita told me, one of my tita in the province daw told everyone in the province na everyone is invited at meron kaming "paservice". Means susunduin sila sa province to attend my wedding. Natawa nalang ako. Then i handed this tita the invitation, clearly stating, "we have reserved 1 seat for you".

I seriously will be pissed off if this happens to me, buti wala kaming province ni fiance but I will also indicate seat count on the invites just to be sure. I will only provide rides to my immediate family an balikbayan cousins and no one else. If they want to go, they will make a way hehe papakainin ko na nga sila e. And will tell coordinators no walk-ins heheh.

Also sorry if nagregrets na tapos last-minute pwede ulit.. unless super close sakin i might reconsider but if officemate lang or a relative we both dont know then i wont na and say we've invited replacements already.

[Maxim04]

I remember exactly what happened to me sis maxim. Guests from province we paid for their van too. Medyo questionable nung una pero sige na lang. Ayoko na lang makipagtalo esp sa mom ko.

Naku hirap dba sis. They are not even cLose to me. Only to my mom. I wont pigil if its my mom's wedding, but its mine. So the decision is ours dba. Heheh.

When is the best time to send save the date invites to the guests? 😀

Ours we started distributing sis 3 months ahead. 

^sis sparklingjewel yup i believe its reasonable to provide van to your immediate family and entourage. Sana maisip nalang nila na yung presence nila ang gift nila dba. Parang feeling nila VIP din sila eh! hehe. 

Sis anneshirley kakaiba naman kasi talaga kung saan nakuha ng tita ko yun. Kala nia purkit overseas ako i will provide everything makadalo lang sila. Wow ang yaman ko pala! Bakit alam nila tapos ako hindi aware? hehe

[Purple_Power]

She initially declined our invite pero ngayon nag sabi sila na makakapunta na sila and kasama din nya yung husband and new born nya (adult reception pa man din kami  )  Sa side naman ni fiance, yung pinsan nya plus kasama yung husband and two kids.

Ang hirap! pwede kaya namin sabihin na sila lang ang invited and hindi na kasama spouse and kids?

Usually ang iniinvite lang naman talaga dapat Mag asawa yung kids kadalasan hindi na sinasama. Unless that newborn has no Yaya at all, and walang pag iiwanan then sige pwede mo nang pagbigyan kasi hindi naman counted ang babies eh. Ako nga noon we were invited ni hubby sa Pangasinan tintanong ko mama ko kung kanino pwede iwan baby namin, sabi niya sama ko na lang raw. ayaw ko rin sana kasi nga it's wedding eh then yun sinama ko na nga rin.

Sa relatives nga namin kadalasan sa amin nangyari na nga na invited parents ko pati bro ko na may asawa then ako hindi invited which is I am not surprise about it since single pa naman ako nun and understandable. Pero yung sa Pangasinan that I've mentioned above, I never thought na we will be invited kasi we are not directly related to them since bro ng sis in law ko yun.

[edna_mode]

^ ako din ganito situation.. at nakakaloka sobra.. to the point na si h2b naconfine na sa hospital dahil sa highblood hahahaha

Well, we have about 12 heads to be added to the guest list, who have initially declined the invitation.  Thing is, these are people that we really wanted in our wedding. But when they declined, we went ahead and invited people from our "2nd/Standby Guest List".

We were so problematic at first, to the point na pati si Darlene/TheWeddingTipSheet, ni-pm na namin to ask for advice.  And my gulay she was so helpful! maski hindi nya kami client, she immediately replied and offered great pieces of advice! Well to make the long story short, stay put muna kami ni h2b and won't be making any decisions on it until mga two weeks from the wedding.  Kase according to Darlene, hindi din naman lahat ng nag "Yes" sa RSVP makaka rating. So there's a good chance na ma-accommodate pa din yung mga additional heads

[Maxim04]

Yun ang hirap ano mga sis, nag RSVP tapos biglang hindi makakapunta. Pero mas ok naman na sobra ang food kaysa magkulang. Kasi sure naman na hindi lang isang punta sa buffet table ang mga guests.

[fluffyfluff]

Me and h2b made a mock wedding guest list and asa 230 na yung guests namin (including kids and yayas), ang ni book namin with the caterer is for 250pax kasi may mga sakit ang Chinese na isa lang ang invited, pamilya ang bitbit haha so we felt that it would be better for us na sobra, kesa nakakahiya naman at mag kulang

We also put narin sa invites na if kulang yung seats allocated, they can always contact us to see if we can do something about it, para atleast lang feel ko pag ganun mas madali tumanggi sa mga plus one nila