On inviting guests...

[Chili1113]

Thanks sparklingjewel thats a very good approach to managing the guest list!

[akesanchez]

sis sparklingjewel, maganda nga yang strategy to in doing the guest list. I'll try doing it, kung kaya din samen. hahaha.. 

[edna_mode]

girls question naman... on fiance's side of the family, he will be inviting his tito who lives abroad.  They have already booked their flights and they've confirmed that two of their kids (one of them is part of the bridal entourage) will be bringing along their girlfriends. Ok lang ba to consider the GF's to be part of the family invite na?  We plan to address the invitation as "Mr. & Mrs John Smith & Family" or something like "To the Family of Mr. & Mrs. John Smith". and then for the number of seat allocation, kasama na sa bilang yung mga gf. We don't want to send a separate invitation na sana to the cousins and GF

[yannuh]

yes i think sis Edna, ok na yung Mr.Smith and family and considered included na dun si gf

[barbeecue]

sis edna_mode, yes pwedeng kasama na the girlfriends sa invitation nila

[edna_mode]

yey thanks sis yannuh and sis barbeecue[/]!

[anneshirley]

Hey girls!

I'm really at a loss here and hope you can help me 

So I've pretty much finished drafting my half of the guest list and it's comprised of 75 people including 58 family members and 17 friends. Hubby-to-be's guest list will also be 75-strong and we're capping it at 150 guests maximum for the wedding.

My problem is this: the 58 family members only includes immediate family, the family elders and titos and titas. If I follow this plan, none of my cousins will be invited (they're all younger kasi and like most of the family to be invited I'm not close to any of them). Here's a clincher: these titos and titas and cousins are all based abroad. Since some of my cousins are quite young pa, I don't think my titos and titas will leave them at home to travel for the wedding. If I invite the couple lang parang inconsiderate kasi obviously they can't leave their kids but if I invite naman the whole family patay ako sa guest list (it will balloon to ~105 people just on my side lang!)

The only option I can think of is to have my mom tell them 'oh, eto lang seats pumili na lang kayo kung kanino mapupunta' hahaha and even then I have no idea how to do that 

Help!!! 

[belle_v2g]

^in addition to that, some relatives will choose not to attend / or only one will attend the event so that their partner can look after the kids.. (how young are the kids sis?)
sometimes, regardless if you tell them a million times na bawal ang kids, on the day masusurprise ka na lang.. oh well.
it might help if you indicate in your invites that the event is meant only for adults.. then your mom could probably support you and tell them that the seats are limited..
kaso if they are from abroad, it will be a good idea to invite the kids, maybe prepare a kids table coz a kid's meal will definitely cost a lot cheaper than a regular guest meal. nakakahiya din kasi sa titos and titas who travelled pa just to attend the wedding.

[Maxim04]

Naku mga sis, share lang ako.
kakareceive ko lang ng message ng pinsan ko. Nagpprisinta maging abay. Hehe.
Una eh hindi kami close. Second eh more than 10 years na kaming hindi nagkikita. Province based siya, ako naman overseas. Third, did you remember ba na nagprisinta kayong maging abay? She is a teen ager, and parang sa pagkaalala ko, hindi ako nag offer maging part ng wedding. I wait until they make me a part of the entourage. (Sorry naman pero alala ko eh mabait ako ahaha). I just told her na kumpleto na ang abay ko. Tapos hindi na siya nangulit, she said nevermind. hehe. 

[anneshirley]

^in addition to that, some relatives will choose not to attend / or only one will attend the event so that their partner can look after the kids.. (how young are the kids sis?)
sometimes, regardless if you tell them a million times na bawal ang kids, on the day masusurprise ka na lang.. oh well.
it might help if you indicate in your invites that the event is meant only for adults.. then your mom could probably support you and tell them that the seats are limited..
kaso if they are from abroad, it will be a good idea to invite the kids, maybe prepare a kids table coz a kid's meal will definitely cost a lot cheaper than a regular guest meal. nakakahiya din kasi sa titos and titas who travelled pa just to attend the wedding.

Thanks sis belle_v2g! The cousins range from 5yr olds to teenagers :/ I agree - super nakakahiya na they come all that way and we don't even think about their kids di ba.. I'll need to discuss this again with my mom and dad but since mga kapatid nga nila super sticky pa rin ng situation 

Sis Maxim04, natawa ako sa post mo haha I'm just wondering pano nagpi-prisinta ang mga tao to become abay..? Buti na lang wala pa ako naencounter na ganun 

[Maxim04]

^kaya nga sis natawa din ako. She said, "ate pwde mo ba akong kunin abay?".
Na shock ako buti nalang chat yun. Hahaha  awkward no.. 

[belle_v2g]

Haha!! Omg I do that to my friends!! Hahaha.. pero in a pabiro way.. sabi ko pa nga ring bearer din baby ko. I dont think they take me seriously though.. pero mukhang yung pinsan ni sis maxim04 seryoso hihi..

Sakin naman may nagcomment dati why yung twin sis ni hubby na both dalaga pa ay di ko kinuha as abay.. medyo odd daw. Saka bakit daw puro may asawa na ang abay ko.. haha!! Some people talaga, may masabi lang..

[kateguerzon08]

share ko lang din..yun friend ni fiance na girl, daughter ng kinuha nameng ninong and ninang (parents ni girl), nagtanong daw kung pati siya ay kukuning abay, mejo napataas nga kilay ko e, haha..then yun mga anak ng pinsan ko sa province, pini-prisinta nilang maging flower girls and/or ring bearers..tapos may isa pa kong friend na first time namen nameet ang hubby niya, sabi ba naman, "o ayan, siya (pointing at me) ikakasal na yan nextyear, yun naman ang next na pupuntahan naten." nasa kids birthday party kame that time and they were also invited..natatawa na lang ako na naiinis, pero hindi ako kumikibo pag ganon ang mga sinasabi nila..pwede ba, maghintay nga sila na sabihan ko sila, grabe lang kase, haha..

[Maxim04]

^hahah sis oo nga nakaka stunned ang comment nila. Hahaha. Tipong, invite yourself. Parang kasalang baranggay kamo ah. 

Sis belle_v2g oo serious siya! Teenager is thinking to be an abay? Hehe. Ok lang yung sa iyo kasi lambing mo sa friends. Pero my cousin is totally "stranger" to me. I dont even know how she look like now. Kasi ba naman , ang profile pic eh korean actress. Nasa katinuan ang picture! Hehe .
MArried abay is fine naman. Depende lang tlaga ito sa couple na ikakasal. Its our choice kasi kasal natin yun. Kahit pa may pamahiin or whatever.  Edi yung kasal nila ang pakialaman nila diba

[kateguerzon08]

^ well sori na lang kase planned na namen ni fiance ang ps at ento namen, as in hinati talaga namen..pati guests, we had an initial listing na, which is i think needs to be revisited again, haha..

[sparklingjewel]

I agree medyo inconsiderate kasi of the couple if you invite relatives from abroad to come home and attend and you exclude their kids when you know they have to bring them.. i suggest you re-evaluate your guestlist anneshirley Kami we have a pariority guestlist composed of 80% family, these are the people we cannot afford not to invite, including their kids. The ones we can are in a second guestlist, to be invited if there are non-goers sa una. Alternatively there are ways naman to accommodate more people in your wedding---cut back sa food or styling kesa makaoffend ng relatives/ friends.

[sevenstars]

anneshirley, I also don't think there's any way to exclude the kids without being rude, since the guests are travelling internationally.

[caleeice]

Hey girls!

I'm really at a loss here and hope you can help me 

So I've pretty much finished drafting my half of the guest list and it's comprised of 75 people including 58 family members and 17 friends. Hubby-to-be's guest list will also be 75-strong and we're capping it at 150 guests maximum for the wedding.

My problem is this: the 58 family members only includes immediate family, the family elders and titos and titas. If I follow this plan, none of my cousins will be invited (they're all younger kasi and like most of the family to be invited I'm not close to any of them). Here's a clincher: these titos and titas and cousins are all based abroad. Since some of my cousins are quite young pa, I don't think my titos and titas will leave them at home to travel for the wedding. If I invite the couple lang parang inconsiderate kasi obviously they can't leave their kids but if I invite naman the whole family patay ako sa guest list (it will balloon to ~105 people just on my side lang!)

If you're planning on having 150 guests, you can invite more than that because not all of those will go. In our case approximately 260 were invited, about 210 were given formal invitations, then only around 180 arrived. So I think that you can definitely include the kids in your headcount.

I will recommend what we did to help us manage our guest list. Why not do an initial RSVP? By doing so, you can already eliminate those who will not attend from the list. You can also ask relatives from abroad how many of them are planning to go here to attend the wedding just you can get a rough estimate. Work on the list from there. We did 2 RSVPs --- the initial and the final one. Final one was done closer to the wedding Hope that helps.

[anneshirley]

Belle_v2g: If friends (especially ones na almost everyday kausap) kahit joke lang pwede rin seryosohin (so baka maging ringbearer nga anak mo you never know haha). Winner lang pag you haven’t even spoken or seen the person in years and bigla nagmaterialize out of thin air. Maxim04, baka naman hitsurang Korean pop star nga? Hahaha

Sparklingjewel and sevenstars – yeah my thoughts exactly! I'm known to be introverted in the family naman but still there's no excuse for rudeness 

Caleeice – I think naman not everyone will attend but anyone who’s invited will be reserved a seat napaaway na nga ako with my dad about this kasi he said I invite 200 people but can book a venue for only 150 people. Di naman ako airline who can tell my guests sorry we overbooked, next wedding na lang kayo hahaha)

But yeah, my plan na lang is to send Save the Dates only for close friends para at least they know it’s abroad (won’t risk sending to family, baka may magforward sa non-invited and maloka pa ako ng di oras). Then I’ll send my wedding invites with RSVP 6-7 months before the wedding and follow up on RSVP 1-2 months before. Okay ba itong timeline, or too soon..?

[caleeice]

^Wedding invites with RSVP at 6-7 months before the wedding is too early. Ideal time is 1 to 2 months before the wedding. For relatives abroad, we informed them a year before the wedding and created a wedsite for them. Save the dates were sent out 6 months before the wedding. Invites 1.5 to 2 months before the wedding. Deadline for RSVP was set a month before the wedding.

And I agree with your dad, you can invite 200 people because expect a fall out in the numbers even for those who already confirmed. But better if you do initial RSVP, for lack of a better term, especially for the ones abroad so you can estimate how many will go. From there, you can set the number of additional guests that you can still invite