On inviting guests...

[creative_carla]

sis kami ang balak namin common friends lang ang iinvite kasi sobrang limited ang budget. I hope na dahil friends namin sila kahit invited ako sa kasal nila they will understand na di kaya ng budget to invite them.

[j.adore]

iamashe, you have the option to get supplier meals instead para yung 250pax ay talaga friends and families. Majority naman ng mga suppliers ang requirement ay decent meals pero di naman nila hinihingi na pareho as guests.

creative_carla, I'm in the same scenario. I-treat ko na lang sila on other occasions

[castledoll]

hi sis! I love this topic I also have the same dilemma. I have a very big family. At first me and my h2b want to have 400 guest then we realize it's so expensive. So we trimmed it down to 200-250. Ang laki padin I'm really stressing out kasi [textspeak!] mom and dad ko nagrereklamo na bakit ang konti lang dw ng guest di na dw sila makakapaginvite. So I told them that this is my wedding and super mahal if we will have a lot if guest and I want to enjoy my wedding. Sis castledoll can u email me the guide? its rhenzeabrenica@gmail.com thanks!

email sent.

tama yung sinabi mo sa parents mo. kame, we gave our parents numbers kung ilan lang ang invite nila. If they want to invite more, they have to shoulder the expenses nung mga sobra sa bilang talaga namen. so far naman they're helpful and nakikipag communicate sila regarding sa guest list namen. ako na kasi sasagot ng HMUA ng mom, MIL, MOH and bridesmaids ko. My MIL wants na yung ibang bisita like her best friends na isama sa HMUA and she'll pay for them na lang. happy ako sa set up na ganun. at least yung mga hinde naman talaga kasama sa listahan ng gastos namen na gusto nila e sila yung sasagot.

kaya sis, if your parents want to invite more bisita, siguro it's not too much to ask for pera from them kasi kukulangin kayo sa budget.

[hun_nie08]

Ako grabe friends ko palang nasa 91 na... pano pa ang relative... e target namin 200 lang sabi ni h2b ang dami ko daw kasing friends.... ang hirap namang magtanggal e

[castledoll]

^ sis, don't feel obligated to invite all your "friends." Madadalian ka mag bawas kapag nag pile up na yung gastos.

I think "problema" ng karamihan dito sa atin yung madaming friends and mahirap mag bawas. Sa 91 na yun, constant ang communication ba? And talagang very active sila sa buhay mo? If not, ilagay mo muna sila sa Guest List B. Unahin mo yung mga best friends mo and alam mo na gusto talaga nila maka punta sa kasal nyo.

[eternalpink]

Some people would think na exag tayong mga brides pag pinag uusapan ang guest list but it is serious talaga; nakakahiya din kase na may mga dadating na guests sa wedding sabay walang mauupuan?

Meron talagang mga last minute pahabol na you can't avoid. For us, we have a couple friend who we invited pagbalik sa'kin ng coord ng report (for RSVP) walang color yung names nila sa excel sheet (meaning no response) so I assumed (never assume hehe) na hindi sila pupunta. The night before the wedding, our other friend texted me sino sino daw yung pupunta from work (yung girl sa couple is from work) then I replied with the names, and then she asked si ganito hindi mo nasama, naka-leave na siya bukas (weekday wedding kase), super na-shock ako haha. So night before the wedding, nag re-rearrange pa ako ng table assignments kase we had to make room for them.

So lesson learned, never assume. If ayaw mag reply sa text ni coordinator, call them nalang, you're inviting them so most probably they're your friends and you have their numbers. Another on never assume again is that people will not be shy about bringing their kids. During the reception, nasa harap kame ni hubby, then yung picture picture per table, we saw a friend walking towards us, binubulungan ko si hubby, dala nila yung anak! Naisip ko what if inupo nila yung kid sa isang chair dun sa table so ibig sabihin yung naka-assign dun baka nawalang ng upuan. Pero that's why may buffer talaga yung mga caterer, usually 1-2 tables (set of 10).

Oh, and be careful on setting up your event page in Facebook (if you're into that). I did it a bit early kase so meron akong mga in-invite na people dun sa event page na I didn't want to invite anymore (sorry... she was a teammate kase so parang default na kailangan i-invite, eh nag resign siya during prep time).

Our guest list was at about 230 (excluding suppliers).

[j.adore]

^Natawa ako sa FB event kasi that's what I do for birthdays etc. but I'm not going to do it for the wedding kasi nga limited no. of guests lang kami.

FB posts din about the wedding during preps, wala haha! I think kasi the more you make people aware of what's going on with your big day, the more na mag-assume sila na invited ang lahat at ok lang na magdala ng ibang tao/anak etc.

[angelzero]

^i agree sis j.adore. one post mo lang madaming pwedeng mag comment. i want to avoid comments like "invited ba ko dyan?" oh dear. we haven't even updated our statuses to "engaged". at first gusto ko mag update ng status but h2b said wag na lang muna. he also wants to avoid awkward conversations with his fb contacts whom he doesn't plan on inviting.

^^sis eternalpink, good tip. i'm too trusting pa naman when it comes to people actually following the do's and don'ts of being a delightful wedding guest. i should never assume they would follow 100%. inviting guests may be one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding but i'm ready to take on the task. i don't mind being stressed weeks/days before the wedding, wag lang sa big day mismo.

[eternalpink]

^True! Saka yung ibang 'violators' kinasal na sila mismo so I would think na alam na nila ang stress of preparing for a wedding and walang text manlang to ask if ok to bring their kid.

Meron kaming friend who asked the coord if they can bring a plus 1 and then saka kame nag isip ni hubby if go or no go (meron kaming na-no go, hehe).

Savor the prep time while it lasts, even the stress kase that's part of it talaga and bonding na din niyo ni H2B, hehe! Kahit nag kakainisan na kame sa pag assign ng guests sa table (but that's another story all together hehe) masaya pa din & nakaka-miss.

[chelgeneroso]

I also want to share my experience about inviting guests -
My mother's sister is so proud of my wedding, she boasted it to our second cousins. In the end of their conversation, she invited the family without telling me. After the wedding, i heard complaints that they had no seats, caterer told us about the additional food. We paid for 300 guests after the party.  I just learned about the extra people when i saw our wedding video. An extra jeep load of people!!!!

Me and my mother got into an argument about guests. She wanted to invite the whole grade 5 and grade 6 + principals of their respective schools (they are both teachers). her reason, "unang anak na ikakasal," and my reason, "wala akong budget for the extra 30 guests. 250 lang ang kaya ng budget"  What they did instead, they invited their co-teachers into our house for lunch on the day of my wedding. They still saw me change into my bridal gown.

If possible, no kids! i remember when i was watching my video, while during the program and picture taking, child was running, baby crying, child shouting. If the parents could contain their child, ok lang.

Hope this will help

[castledoll]

We have a wedding wedding website and naka password protected yung rsvp & rehearsal rsvp tabs. ang pinag rsvp ko muna yung mga close friends/part ng entourage na sure na makakapunta. I don't want the rsvp to be open sa public yet kasi ang iniiwasan ko yung mag rsvp na hinde naman kasama sa bilang. We will indicate na lang sa invitation kung ilang seat/s ang naka reserve sa kanila. para just in case they RSVP person/people na wala naman sa bilang, it's not that awkward to turn them down.


Posted by: chelgeneroso

If possible, no kids! i remember when i was watching my video, while during the program and picture taking, child was running, baby crying, child shouting. If the parents could contain their child, ok lang.

THIS! eto ang isa sa iniiwasan ko. Ayaw ko ng in the middle of a speech biglang may iiyak or tatakbo takbo. Kaya what we're doing, we just didn't invite families with 8 and under kids. Ang exemption na lang namen is yung mga manggagaling pa ng malayo, kamag-anak (which some of the kids are part of our ento).

My friend who got married gave me this advice, "ang tunay na friend hinde na yan magpapakipot pa sa pag rsvp. if they want to be a part of your big day, sila ang unang una na mag rsvp. kapag kinontak mo sila ng multiple times and no answer, cross them off the list. if they contacted you days/night before your wedding and dun pa lang magku-confirm, sabihin mo na too late, you gave their spot to somebody else na. if they got mad, then they're not your friend. like I said, kung "friend" talaga sila, they'll show excitement by rsvp-ing early. hinde na magpapa diva pa."

[happyheartheart]

^Natawa ako sa FB event kasi that's what I do for birthdays etc. but I'm not going to do it for the wedding kasi nga limited no. of guests lang kami.

FB posts din about the wedding during preps, wala haha! I think kasi the more you make people aware of what's going on with your big day, the more na mag-assume sila na invited ang lahat at ok lang na magdala ng ibang tao/anak etc.

Relate na relate ako dito. On one hand I'm so excited about my engagement that I want to announce it to the world. Pero the problem is I can't and don't want to invite the world naman! I decided not to change our FB status til we're married na. I do want to post one or two prenup pics though. Wala naman details dun about our wedding.

[eternalpink]

If possible, no kids! i remember when i was watching my video, while during the program and picture taking, child was running, baby crying, child shouting. If the parents could contain their child, ok lang.

When a couple friend of ours got married, they specifically mentioned na it was an adult only affair. Pati flower girls nila & ring/Bible bearer were adults. Turned out ok naman.

[bagaholic_chewy]

For our wedding, we really wanted a small affair. So we planned for max 120 guests (but of course, me buffer pa din na 2 tables, just in case me mga pasaway, hehe..). For our parents, we gave them certain number of tables na pwede nila iinvite friends nila, pero sabi namin e dapat yung kakilala naman either ako or si husband. Kasi ayoko yung sa pictorials meron andun na ni hindi namin kilala ni hubby. Sa relatives and other guests, we considered adults lang (well, 13y/o pataas, excluding entourage). Nakatulong na sa province ang wedding namin, and most of hubby's relatives e hindi makakatravel ng malayo since it was almost Christmas so they only sent 1-2 reps per family.

Naging compromise namin with the parents ay:
  1) 2 days after the wedding, we hosted a catered dinner party sa house ng Mommy ko (nasa heaven na Dad ko). Dun na niya ininvite ibang mga friends nila ni Daddy, mga neighbors, co-teachers, etc - yung mga di ko na masyado kilala. Mga 100-120 people din siguro yun. Hamak na mas mura naman ang per head dun kesa sa wedding reception. Kasama din immediate family ni hubby dun sa post-wedding party.
   2) pagkabalik namin ng Manila, we had another lunch party naman at a restaurant, mainly for husband's relatives and his parents' friends. We also invited few of my relatives na Manila-based na di nakapunta sa wedding. Also my immediate family. Around 150pax din siguro yun.

Yung ibang friends, tinreat na lang namin sa resto for lunch or dinner, by group or by couple.

[clueless_bride]

LOL I can relate to this... until now walang update ang FB page ko at talagang sinabi ko sa mga barkada ko na nasa entourage na wag magkakamaling mag post ng kahit ano about sa wedding at ayoko malagay sa awkward situation na biglang may magpapainvite, sabi ko sa kanila ko sisingilin yung bayad kapag may nagpaimbita ng labag sa kalooban ko haha

FB posts din about the wedding during preps, wala haha! I think kasi the more you make people aware of what's going on with your big day, the more na mag-assume sila na invited ang lahat at ok lang na magdala ng ibang tao/anak etc.

[morrigan-erinyes]

Hello guys!

I'm an October 2012 bride and medyo hassle nga yung concerns about guests.

>One of the things to consider to make RSVP effective is the wording sa invitation. Something like:
"We will reserve ____ seat/s for you if you confirm your attendance before <date>. Please call or text <number>"

>If you haven't talked to a certain individual for more than a year, don't invite them.

>Don't worry kung biglang mas madami yung guests na pupunta kasi usually yung mga caterers sinosobrahan talaga nila. It's best to discuss with your caterer about this.

I hope these helps

hello mga sis, my h2b and I will tie the knot this december, and we plan to have 250pax guests. yung sa numbers na yan ba included na dapat yung mga suppliers? If so, eh di yung iinvite lang nmin would be around 220pax lang dapat?

You can opt to include your suppliers sa buffet (if you're having a buffet) or you can have a separate meal crew for them.

[j.adore]

^Naaliw ako sa RSVP deadline

[nicola_juliano]

Marami magagandang tips dito. Very helpful, thanks!

What I did is bago po ako mag-invite, my fiance and I created a guest list and we put their sino ang invited, sino ang ninang, ang entourage. We announced na 1 year ahead sa mga Ninong at Ninang para makapagprepare at malaman if makakauwi sila from Abroad. We also told to our closed friends na invited sila at yung wedding date na din para makapagleave. For my Tito's and Tita's, they know they're invited but we didn't tell them the place yet and number of people invited from their families.... Be sure na nakakausap nyo silang lahat and inform na lang din at early as possible kung sino ang invited.

Medyo malayo pa ang wedding date namin, but we told na yung mga ka-close namin about it ahead of time. Then, we will always remind them about it when we meet. I will set a date kelan ang RSVP date, kelan din ang duration sa pagkontak sa mga hindi nagRSVP after the RSVP date at sino-sino kokontakin for Guest List B. Pero ako, ala na ako guest list B dahil na-invite ko na mga ka-close ko on Guest list A. Si hubby na lang may problem sa guest list. hehe. Marami kasi sya friends.

Medyo concerned ako sa Guest List B dahil back to start ka from these people. Iinvite mo sila and there are some cases na may hindi nagreply. I think it is better na wala na lang Guest List B dahil for me parang magbibigay ng another stress sa'yo just to complete the 200pax. It's better to invite family member na lang, maybe cousins will do, para less hassle to complete the 200 pax.

I give myself and my hubby na yung pinaka-close lang talaga ang iinvite as soon as possible. May dilemma kami sa mga guest list namin na ka-officemates at friends namin na isama mga asawa nila but I have to make it clear na mas maganda if mga officemates lang namin ang invited at hindi kasama mga asawa. Dahil may mataas na possibility na ma-bore sila at ma-out of place during our event.

Kasama ang asawa or plus one if in case sila lang ang invited at wala ibang friends na kakilala nya. Para di sila ma-bored.

We also decided to have 10 pax reserved in each sa mga gusto iinvite ni madirs at padirs namin. So 10 pax from my mom and dad, and 10 pax from my fiance's dad and mom. Bahala sila dun, and we make it clear na dapat hindi sosobra dun.

I decided to reserved 150 pax sa caterer namin, We're pretty sure these people will go on our wedding date. The remaining 50, eto yung hindi sure. So we told our caterer na to follow na lang.

[eternalpink]

^Same for us, sis. After we booked the venue (in a bridal fair), we sat down and listed all our friends, as in everyone we could think of. Meron pa nga kaming mga lines na, "Si ganito kaya? Eh hindi naman tayo ininvite sa kasal nila." hehe...

After we made the list, saka kame nag trim down. And thought of the entourage, principal sponsors, etc.

If ever it's a Church wedding, don't forget din to assign your Commentator, Offertory line up and Readers.

[deathwatchspider]

waaaah honestly when we first started planning for our jan 2015 wedding, i was so confident that the guest list wont be a problem. but a few months later and after drawing up the list, nakakastress na sobra! lalo na mejo social butterfly si h2b, ang daming circle of friends tapos kung sino sino pa ang gustong ipadagdag. we initially reserved for 120pax with our caterer. maliit lang din kasi ang venue. after a month, humirit, 130 na. now we are at 140!!! nakakaloka as in!!! eh tapos h2b came from a big family pa, as in both parents nya tig 10 ang siblings. sa relatives naman mejo walang problema kasi we really plan to impose the 2 per family rule. bale yung related lang talaga sa parents ang invited, plus one. ang problema talaga is yung friends and co-workers. esp the friends that u had a falling out with at feeling ko naman eh hindi din sya matutuwa sa wedding ko, bagkus baka okrayin pa nga. hay! hopefully we can resolve this soon. natatakot talaga kasi ako na mag 100 percent attendance yung mga invited tapos may bitbit pa.