On inviting guests...

[angelzero]

^thanks for that. actually ang daming options nowadays to reach out to your guests. ang problema lang kung susunod ba talaga sila na they don't bring along uninvited plus ones sa mismong event. anyhoo, i got great tips here..thanks mga sis!

[bio]

I assigned my sister sa RSVP duties. I had her decline those that asks for plus one. She got married a few years back so she knows how to politely deny requests kasi she knows how such requests add additional stress sa couple. For those who ask me directly, I tell them that our venue limits our no. of guests and for our family palang super limited invite na. Some are very gracious naman kahit na denied

And yes, having an events page on Facebook proved to be helpful. I was very anti-Facebook pero in the end, at least may heads up na yung guests as to the details of the wedding. We were able to get a rough estimate as to the no. of attendees and when we encountered problems with delivering our invitations, hindi na super stressed because people are already aware c/o Facebook.

[MaitaOfMakeupOnDemand]

I agree, medyo mahirap i-control ang guest list and magba-balloon pa talaga siya from your target. But there will always be 30% non-attendance and most caterers are nagpapa-sobra ng 10% for overflow. Ask them about it. Kasi during my wedding, my target was 150 guests. I sent 170 serious invitations (that means you're really expecting them to say yes) and 30 more courtesy invitations (ito yung mga friends na gusto i-invite ng parents but they feel hindi makakapunta talaga because they are really busy). In the end, I had an attendance of about 140 guests. Pasok lang sa target.

Note lang, my wedding was on a Friday and in December. it could have been a factor in my numbers

[andy2014]

How should we estimate the actual number of guests coming to our wedding if we invite 110? Do RSVPs really work? Uubra ba ang pagka kulit ko to ask people if they're coming or not? We only plan to invite people who want to see us get married. So is it ok to HOPE that they will only bring themselves and not bring a plus one? Kinakabahan kasi ako about uninvited guests. Share tips on how to be firm on "no plus ones."

Another dilemma.. I have a college barkada. I am now only close to a few of them. Yung mga ka-close ko I will definitely invite. Yung iba, I haven't spoken to in more than a year na. May konting friction din kasing nangyari kaya we fell apart. Do I invite them pa ba? Should I worry about them na baka magtampo once they hear na I got married and they weren't invited? At some point I was really really close to some of them, but that was several years ago na.

I'm getting married sa 3rd quarter ng taon, we will also have 110 max na guest, originally 100 kaso may dadating from other countries na relatives. Anyway, ako ilalagay ko sa invitation na kung sino lang andun yung lang invited. Do you have a wedding site? You can also add wedding FAQ yung dos and donts sa wedding ie, bringing a plus one. hehe

regarding sa guests, kami naman ang dilemma namin sobrang daming bata asa 10 , same rate kasi sa amin with adults and kids so sayang naman yung slot ng kids hehe anyway, kung hindi mo feel bakit mo invite? don't mind their tampos kung matagal na kayong hindi nagkikita. Invite only those people na feel mo at gusto mo maging bahagi ng married life mo sis.

Please share your experiences on inviting wedding guests. Thanks!

[angelzero]

^Thanks sis. I do have a wedsite and I plan to include FAQs there. I plan to create a facebook event too. nandun lahat ng info that guests need to know. Anyhoo, regarding friends na medyo di ko na feel iinvite, once i don't invite them, it means friendship's over na talaga. parang it's a clear message na i don't want them to be in my life anymore. anyway matagal pa naman wedding namin. pag time na to send out the invites, dun ko na talaga mararamdaman kung gusto ko talaga sila iinvite o hinde.

[castledoll]

sis bio, paano ang wording na sinabi ng sister mo? Hinde naman sa feelingera ako na madami magkukumahog magpunta sa kasal ko pero para maiwasan lang ang miscommunication, gusto ko clear yung message kapag meron nag rsvp na wala naman sa guest list. Here's what I'm planning on using:

Oh, no! I'm so sorry: there's clearly been a miscommunication. Due to venue size and catering arrangement, we're keeping the guestlist quite small. This means we just can't invite everyone we'd like, as much as we'd love to — we do not have room for you on the guestlist. I'm so terribly sorry that we can't extend an invitation, and even more sorry about this miscommunication. I hope you can understand.

or

Oh my goodness, this is catching me off-guard! This is awkward and difficult, and I'm so sorry to have to say this, but we don't have space on our limited guestlist for all the family and friends we'd love to have there — we aren't able to invite you to the wedding. I'm so sorry — I feel just awful about this situation, and I wish there's something I could do, but the venue size and catering arrangements are fixed, I'm afraid it's just not going to work. I hope you can understand.

I don't think rude naman yun? pero suggestions are welcome.

[bio]

^ I think she was straight to the point and said sorry but the couple has a limited guest list given venue constraints. Sabi niya ok na daw yun, less explanation, less awkwardness 

[castledoll]

^ but hopefully e almost to zero ang mga uninvited na mag rsvp. feeling ko kasi ako pa mahihiya to turn them down e.

[bio]

^ Actually, that's the reason I had my sister do RSVP for us. Kasi if ako yung inask, I'll probably consider pa. Better na my sister will turn down people para makastick kami sa no. of guests.

[castledoll]

^ I'll do that, too. I'll have my sister and a friend who will be the event's coordinator to turn down uninvited who'll rsvp. sabi nga nung friend ko e "if you want to come, bring your own baon." 

[vien1854]

I like this thread! Thanks for the advice sis, now i know what to say to people who asks for plus ones.

Also, I have the same dilemma as some of you, I have a high school barkada which I rarely see anymore. I want to invite some but definitely not the ones I havent spoken to over the last year. I really dont know how to dedal with it. I am thinking na wag na lang mag-invite kesa may marinig lang ako na hindi ko gusto. I dont want stress on my wedding!

[castledoll]

^I bought a little pink book about wedding guidelines & etiquette. it said there na even if you haven't met your friend's hubby or wifey, he/she is automatically included to be your friend's plus one. pero if they are still bf/gf, it's up to you if you want to invite that person.

vien1854, I can email you the chart on who and not to invite. maybe that will help you with the planning. Honestly, even with that, slight mahirap pa din. pero it did help kasi from 200 guests, it went down to 150 agad. our original number for guests is 100 lang. pero if we can't help it, it's not gonna be more than 136. may butal kasi our tables are round and if there's 8 people in one table, 136 lahat yun. just post your email here or PM me your email addy.

[zazytka]

I experienced to be on the other end last year, when I asked the bride if I can bring a plus one. Nilakasan ko na lang loob ko. I asked who among our friends are attending para maki-hitch ako since mahirap icommute yung venue nila, or can I bring my boyfriend as my escort/driver. Ayun, pumayag naman.

This time that we're inviting for our own wedding, medyo we already anticipated yung mga sabit guests kaya may buffer talaga. For 150pax muna ang sinecure namin, kahit we invited 180. We just have to tell our caterer at least 1wk before for additional pax. Pero nakikibargain pa ako sa nanay ko sa mga kamag anak na gustong iinvite.

[castledoll]

^ sis, even if you have 180 people, not all of them can come. kaya kung 150 people ang budget nyo, I think achievable yun.

With our parents, we asked them to invite their close friends to our wedding. tig 5 friends lang ang invited nila. Si mama ko, she changed her mind and did not use her privilege to invite all 5 friends. Kasi especially the ones we don't know, baka ma- OP lang sila.

[Wonderweiss]

Mga ang round table ba is 8pax only ang akala ko kasi 10 kaya we divided our guest into 10 per group.

[castledoll]

^ depende sa laki nung table. meron 4, meron 10. i think standard yung 8. better double check to whoever is in charge of the chairs para ma adjust nyo pa ang seating arrangement.

[andy2014]

I'm worried about the guest list ballooning kasi maliit lang venue namin. i picked that as our venue para di na kami ma-tempt mag dagdag at may excuse para tumanggi sa mga plus one. buti na lang parents namin pareho hindi pakialamero. kami lang dalawa talaga bahala sino iimbitahin.

effective ba gumawa ng facebook event as a means for rsvp? who has tried it?

based on my experience sa wedding ng friend ko, mas effective talaga if you text, call or send them a PM on Facebook one by one.

[Rhenze]

hi sis! I love this topic I also have the same dilemma. I have a very big family. At first me and my h2b want to have 400 guest then we realize it's so expensive. So we trimmed it down to 200-250. Ang laki padin I'm really stressing out kasi [textspeak!] mom and dad ko nagrereklamo na bakit ang konti lang dw ng guest di na dw sila makakapaginvite. So I told them that this is my wedding and super mahal if we will have a lot if guest and I want to enjoy my wedding. Sis castledoll can u email me the guide? its rhenzeabrenica@gmail.com thanks!

[TIKI-TIKI]

Sis Rhenze, saan ang venue ng reception mo? Nasa 250 din kasi number of guests namin...

[iamashe]

hello mga sis, my h2b and I will tie the knot this december, and we plan to have 250pax guests. yung sa numbers na yan ba included na dapat yung mga suppliers? If so, eh di yung iinvite lang nmin would be around 220pax lang dapat?