Extremes boyfriend

[evilwoman]

^sis pakibasa uli ang post mo then assess mo kung mataas nga ba self confidence mo or sadyang t@ng@ lang - o sige na,t@ng@ sa pagibig.sarap nyo pagbuhulin.lols.

I have an ex tito na ganyang ganyan.todo karinyo if nasa mood,konting masaling ng tita,naku black and blue sya.hinintay pa talaga dumami anak bago matauhan.sana wag ka umabot sa ganung point.

[sarah29]

Sis, I think you really need to assess your relationship with this guy. Mejo may tendencies sya for physical abuse.. :/ And every starts verbally sis. Sa tingin ko sis lalala lang sitwasyon nyo habang tumagal. Either accept him that way, or leave.

[graZiousa]

grabe naman yang bf mo sis, walang modo (sorry for the word sis). sabihin na nating galit sya dahil may sinabi ka pero kakaiba naman level nya kung magreact.. wala ng pag galang. Try mo kaya ienroll sa anger managemnet yan sis..

[Erie]

iiwan ka niyang bf mo kapag napuno iyan saiyo lalo na at nagpapakita ka ng kahinaan? Kung ngayon pa langh bine-verbal abuse ka niya at kinakayan kayanan what more kapag kasal kayo? Love is not enough, medyo off lang... mahal mo pa rin kahit sinasabihan kang wh*ore or "hndi kita pakakasalan!"--> ano ito panakot?

Masakit na ang masabihan ang gf na wh*re, dudie.. what more pa ang "Hindi kita pakakasalan?"
Hindi ka niya dapat sinasabihan ng ganyan, ok lang na magalit pero ang sabihin ang mga ganyang litanya? ewan ko na lang kung anong ka martiran ang meron ka..

Huwag ka masaktan sa mga advice saiyo ng mga ka sis dahil may point sila.. sana tulungan mo ang sarili mo, pero kung gusto mo talaga maayos kayo.. kausapin mo ng masinsinan at bigyan mo ng ultimatum.

Huwag ka masyadong submissive sa kanya, ipakita mo din ang tapang mo sa kanya, huwag kang sorry ng sorry kahit hindi mo kasalanan. Huwag ka martir, malaki ka na at alam mo na ang tama at mali, huwag ka masyadong bulag. Dahil kapag nagpakabulag ka, ikaw at ikaw ang masasaktan.

Regarding sa paghihiwalay, hindi malabong mangyari iyan

nasanay ka lang na sobrang lambing at sweet siya saiyo pero kapag iniwan ka niyan mas maaapektuhan ka, so its either ikaw o siya ang mauna.

Marami pa naman diyan sis.. kung ang social life niya hindi maayos paano pa kung ikaw? dapat kahit papaano open minded si bf kung hindi ka man niya nasabihan na aalis pala sila nga mga kasama niya, pwede naman siyang mag apologize ng maayos at sabihing nakalimutan nya.. kesa naman ang magalit? Masyadong Defensive o kaya kung ikaw naman ang nagpaalam at nakalimutan niya, intindihin na lang niya at pagpasensyahan.

Alamo nasa inyo din naman sigurong pag uusap iyan, kailangan lang magkaintindihin both SIDES.

Kaya lang... He hurts you na..... pag isipan mo mabuti iyan sis ok.. baka mas lumala pa iyan as time goes by... Goodluck

[slickchick]

@ sis ninsyninsyspider - sis, i read your original post again and medyo na-struck ako sa threat nya na 'to ah -- "hindi kita papakasalan.. "... appears to me like a form of emotional blackmail... and sadly, pumapayag ka.. and with what you said na hindi sya masyado close with his friends, it made me think na there could be something in him or his personality kaya aloof sya or aloof sa kanya yung mga friends and office mates nya.. sabi mo rin feeling mo umiikot ang mundo nya sa yo. hmmm.. could it be that you also enjoy the thought that his world revolves around you, kaya even if he abuses you verbally eh you still stick with him? something to think about lang sis.. in the end, nasa yo din naman yan..

[ninsyninsyspider]

Correct, he broke up with me na rin before. Dun ko na-prove na kaya ko naman pala. That was the first time na pumayag na ako sa break-up pero ang ending nagbalikan din kami.

Sis slickchick, yup yun nga parang that’s an upside for me. I don’t compete with his barkada kasi ako priority niya but minsan nakakasakal din. Like if I go out, parang sana hindi nalang ako umalis kasi ka-viber ko din naman siya or mas iisipin mo pa siya pag nasa labas ka. Pero yun nga, alam ko na ako lang. Parang ako lang kakampi niya kasi nga medyo loner.

[immy]

Funny because I had a previous relationship na sobrang immature tipong hindi lang kami mag share ng utensils pag kumakain, ma traffic lang ako and ma late ng 5 minutes, pag aawayan namin at galit na galit na sya. I did love him pero that was too much for me. Verbal abuse may lead to physical abuse later on. You deserve to be happy so choose to be happy sis. Leave him and trust me, you will never look back.

[simang]

I know what you're doing here.. You want to be the hero. Ang taong iintindi sa isang taong walang makaintindi. Ang taong magmamahal sa isang taong walang nagmamahal. Para in the end, you'll be his only source of strength and happiness. You're not only feeding his ego, but your ego as well. Para ikaw ang the best para sa kanya -- which will make you feel all the more heroic.

[aquacharly]

^AGREE!   Very perceptive. 

Sobrang ok kami when we’re together and when’s he’s ok. Sobrang happy, sobrang lambing, parang ako lang yung world niya and all.

Pero one mistake, or if I point out something, bigla nalang siya sobrang magagalit. I’ve been called a wh*re, cursed, told that he won’t marry me, and the like.

So now, ako ang mali sa amin?

How to handle? What to do?

Ikaw ang mali?  Kelangan ba malaman pa sino mali?
He is what he is, and it's up to you if you can live as if you're on a roller coaster daily.

The screaming headlines, based on your cuento is that:  he's a verbal & emo abuser. No ifs, no buts, certified.

How to handle?   What to do?
Find a way to make him realize he is ab-normal.  Then get him to seek professional help.
If you are too scared or  cannot find a way to do that --  don't waste your time. Cut & cut clean.
You don't need to be a genius to foresee what you will endure in the future with him. 
Sabi ng Lola ko -- pag BF: best foot forward yan.  So, hindi ka ba NATATAKOT what he will say/do to you pag asawa mo na yan?  Take note, studies have proven --  sustained verbal abuse leads to physical abuse.

Darling, extreme sports -- oo, sure.  But a BF with a volatile disposition/temper --  who ignites when you don't agree with him?!  Gusto mo pa ba umabot na minumura ka kasi sinabi mo --  "hindi, baka umulan later kasi kulimlim  eh."   

Bold red flags are waving in your face.  Do not delude yourself your destiny is to save this man, if he will not help himself. 

Your choice, decide.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Oh my simang para you got me there. Parang sometimes I find myself na yan ang iniisip, like one time nagalit siya sa akin over something petty (as useless) pero after awhile sa akin din naman nagsusumbong pag may something na masama loob niya.

Parang I know, we both know, na kahit ano naman mangyari kahit gaano niya ako i-hate ay babalik at babalik siya sa akin. Which leads to, yes it feeds my ego din.

[slickchick]

^ haha! ayos sis simang.. sort of Messiah Complex.. state of mind wherein one thinks he/she can save or change a person to become better.. well if that's the case, then sis TS should not complain if the bf mistreats her kasi she chooses to stay in the relationship not solely because of love, but because it feeds her ego as well.. naku sis ninsyninsyspider, hindi naman sana ganito ang thinking and outlook mo...

[smurfs]

Could it be that there is something na ginagawa mo thats triggering his temper, sis? Like you said, nagagalit nalang sya ng ganun ganun lang, ambilis magalit, pero the question is, whats behind that? are they all baseless anger or parang meron din namang pinghuhugutan?

Kasi if your answer is wala talaga, nagagalit ng wala sa lugar, and you know in your heart na wala ka naman talagang ginagawa that may have triggered this so called anger, IMO you're really in a wrong place. It's never too late to decide to choose yourself, choose to be in a better place, choose to be happier by letting go of that stress. Mahalin mo muna sarili mo, Sis.

[Erie]

Kapag mahal mo, huwag mo na lang hanapan ng mali para hindi ka masyadong maapektuhan sa sasabihin ng mga ka-sis natin, well… iyon ay kung makikinig saamin, kasi may iba humihingi nga ng payo sa mga kaibigan o ka forums pero matigas pa rin ang ulo at hindi nakikinig kaya in the end sila din ang may kasalanan kaya sila dusa, late na nang ma realize nila na may point din ang iba.

Ngayon, kung talagang hindi mo matiis kaya ka nag open na saamin then ibig sabihin nasa iyo din ang problema dahil hindi mo masabi kay Bf ang nilalaman ng damdamin mo kaya saamin ka nagsasabi ng mga napapansin mo sa kanya, which is mali.. dapat kung may problema kayong dalawa dapat hindi na makakalabas pa sa iba, mas mabuting kayong dalawa ang umayos.

Kung gusto mo maayos at talagang mahal mo at gusto mo maging better si bf, then you two should talk to each other at sabihin mo sa kanya kung anong problema sa ugali niya para sa ganoon aware siya sa kamaliang ginagawa niya saiyo, kung mahal ka niya susubukan niyang magbago dahil ayaw niyang mawala ka, pero kung magreklamo at sabihin di mo siya tanggap kung ano siya, patay na tayo diyan

Hayun, open communication lang sis, huwag mo iisipin na mahal na mahal ka niyan kaya extreme siya maglambing at magpakita kung gaano ka kaimportante, susme.. ngayon lang iyan, pero tignan mo kapag nakakita iyan ng mas higit saiyo, iiwanan ka lang niyan na parang basang sisiw at siya pa ang may lakas ng loob na magalit at punahin ang lahat ng pagkakamali mo, better hanggat maaga ipa realize mo na sa kanya ang maling nakikita mo sa ugali niya at baka sakaling masolusyunan pa

[ninsyninsyspider]

Thanks sisses, this time I called it out. I told him kung bakit niya ginagawa yun, which is something new dahil dati pinapalagpas ko lang talaga.

Ewan ko, mag uusap muna kami. I think the relationship won't end in this fight (if makinig siya sa side ko) pero bibigyan ko na siya ng warning. If ever magka-chance again, stop na if gawin niya ulit.

I'll try muna to do what sis simang said, di na muna break agad. Pero ewan, yes mahal ko pero sobra na rin.

[Princess_Chill]

sis TS

naku sis...good luck! agree ako sa mga sis natin....

ang akin lang haggat kaya mo pa maka kawala diyan e kumawala ka na...kung baga bibibigyan ka na ng preview kung ano mangyayari sa inyo pag nagging mag asawa kayo...

if you can bear this situation for the rest of your life go lang ng go! pero walang sisihan ah....inisipin mo nalang na magbabago yan for some time paro maniwala ka babalik at babalik yan even worst!

[simang]

If the relationship is making you miserable more than happy, then by all means you have to end it. At least that's what i'll do when i'm in your situation.

You're saying that you guys are happy when he is in the mood, otherwise you're doomed. Here are my thoughts: a healthy relationship should be convenient. Sure it's not always rainbows and butterflies but you shouldn't feel less of a person even if you have hard times (in your case, it's not even a major problem). And a mature couple will never resort to name calling (whore, etc) and emotional blackmailing. Only insecure douches do that.

But if you can live with it, go. Pero i'm sure if you experience a healthy relationship you'll know that this guy is nothing but an insecure antisocial lifeless jerk. Sorry i resorted to name calling, but you get the point

[DianeShishio]

Sis TS, Have you considered that your partner might be ill?

I had a bi-polar ex before. He told me about it on our first date. He was taking anti-depressants (and anti-psychotic meds din ata) Being a former psych major, I tried to understand his needs, although despite medication, symptoms manifest.

He would cry because ayaw pa niya akong umuwi, we would fight over the silliest things and the way he would argue with me was beyond preposterous, parang bata sa elementary! I broke up with him after a month. It was that bad.

If you feel like he goes from zero to sixty at the blink of an eye, well, it's a possibility worth looking into.

[piatos]

TS, sabi nila kung ano ugali ng bf mo nung kayo pa hindi yan magbabago kahit ikasal pa kayo. remember lang sis hindi natatapos ang lahat sa kasal.  OMG! sinabihan kang wh*re at hindi ka papakasalan  dapat sinapok mo grrrr nakakagigil.  Huwag  mo nang antayin magkwekwento ka ulit dito pag kinasal kau.

[Erie]

^Di ka naman galit niyan? hehe..! Natawa ako sa punchline ni Piatos "Dapat sinapok mo grrrr nakakagigil. Huwag mo nang antayin magkwekwento ka ulit dito pag kinasal kau"

LOL!! (Laughing out loud!!)

Haha! kuhlet lang! xD

[junetwentythree]

Sis TS, Have you considered that your partner might be ill?

I had a bi-polar ex before. He told me about it on our first date. He was taking anti-depressants (and anti-psychotic meds din ata) Being a former psych major, I tried to understand his needs, although despite medication, symptoms manifest.

He would cry because ayaw pa niya akong umuwi, we would fight over the silliest things and the way he would argue with me was beyond preposterous, parang bata sa elementary! I broke up with him after a month. It was that bad.

If you feel like he goes from zero to sixty at the blink of an eye, well, it's a possibility worth looking into.

My thoughts exactly. I'm surprised it wasn't brought up earlier by anyone else, this definitely sounds like it might be a case of bi-polarity.