single moms help please!

[viellemacey]

eversince i got pregnant single mom na ko kasi noon pa lang tinalikuran na kami ng dad ni baby ko. i must admit na umaasa pa rin naman ako na makahanap ng true love (kung meron talaga) para maexperience naman namin ni baby ang magkaroon ng family.

recently a friend of mine, he's my ex actually, asked if he can court me again. i refused kasi inisip ko yung mga pagdadaanan nya, especially sa family nya, kasi may baby na ako. i feel so guilty kasi never nya akong iniwan since napreggy ako although minsan hindi sya masyado nagpaparamdam kapag sobrang daming work sa office. hindi ko inasahan na darating kami sa ganitong sitwasyon kasi para sakin walang ibig sabihin lahat kasi friends nga di ba. love ko pa rin naman sya kaya nga ayokong pagdaanan nya yung hirap ng may mga naririnig na kung [textspeak!] anong salita mula sa iba tsaka hindi sila masyadong ok ni mommy nya ngayon so mas magiging mahirap sa mommy nya

help naman mga sis kung tama ba yung desisyon ko kasi iniinsist ko sa kanya yung side ko pero sabi nya its his job to be done so i don't have anything to worry about 

[Observer54]

namannnnn..court pa lang naman. eh di hayaan mo na. well never know kung okay ba or hindi okay kung hindi nyo ittry. malay mo eventually magkaroon ng smooth transition at maging okay din ang mga tao sa paligid.

[viellemacey]

honestly ok naman yung family nya, nameet ko na sila nung kami pa but that was 2 years ago pa. yung friends nya yung maraming issues about me which i dont know saan nanggagaling.

hindi ko alam kung takot ba ko mag take ng risks or what kasi hindi ako sanay sa ganitong sitwasyon, yung dalawang tao yung pinaglalaanan ng panahon (si baby at sya). o baka naman masyado akong nagaassume na may future kami (lol)

[Observer54]

since mahal mo naman yung tao just go with the flow. it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. 

[soLaris]

ok lang yan sis, hayaan mo na ang mga friends ni boylet. syempre hindi mo naman siya mapipigilang kung talagang gusto ka nya. pero hanggang saan siya maghihintay? kung ready ka na at ready din sa magiging outcome lalo na syempre sa society natin madami sinasabi ibang tao as if naman di ba? love will take its course. ready ka na ba talaga? sure ka na ba? mamahalin din ba niya ang baby mo? iyun kasi lagi ang fear ng mga single moms. basta sis, goodluck!

[viellemacey]

^actually sis aside from my family and bestfriend, sya yung hindi ako iniwan from the very beginning upto this moment. ramdam ko naman na tanggap nya kami ni baby kasi parang sya na yung naging dad ni baby though minsan lang sya makavisit samin kasi nasa manila sya kami naman dito sa province.

sobrang layo ko na sa past ko as in nakamove on na ko ng bonggang bongga pero unsure ako kung ready na ba ako kasi 1 year old pa lang baby ko baka she still need my full attention pero sigurado naman ako sa feelings ko kay boylet. i might ask him to wait na lang muna, kung gusto nya naman talaga makakahintay naman sya di ba.

[simang]

Let things happen :-) enjoy his company and just go with the flow, and more importantly take care of your baby :-) everything will be okay :-)

[Erie]

Why not? huwag negative at dont be affected to what others saying.. It might be easy to say than done but c'mon sis.. why dont you just give him a chance,..? you'll know and would probably feel if he is sincere or not naman, all throughout he didn't leave you, lucky you as you have a special friend who never leave your side (although may reason pla) kasi he likes you 

Anyhow doon mo naman makikita kung sincere o hindi ang ipinapakita ng kaibigan mo, in addition to that; Not all males can accept  single mom, may iba kasing lalaki o ibang tao na negative na ang pag iisip kapag narinig ang single mom..

Wait, before that kilatisin mo din muna ang kaibigan mo bago mo sagutin hehe!

Kaya mo na iyan sis!

[viellemacey]

thank you sissies. each passing day sobrang naaapreciate ko talaga sya kasi hindi lang ako yung inaalala nya pati yung baby ko tsaka hindi sya yung mukang nagpapaimpress lang.

^

Not all males can accept  single mom, may iba kasing lalaki o ibang tao na negative na ang pag iisip kapag narinig ang single mom..

i so agree with you sis. grabe yung mga mapanlait na tingin nung iba kapag nalaman na single mom pero sya hindi. actually nagagalit nga sya kapag tinatanong ko bakit ako eh single mom ako. paulit ulit nya sinasabi na being a single mom doesnt make me less of a person. naiiyak na lang ako kapag sinasabi nya yun kasi hindi ko ineexpect yung ganung treatment and importance

[shakeshake]

sis ang tao parating me nasasabi yan, mapa single mom ka or hindi. so don't dwell on what people will say. ang importante masaya kayo. don't close your doors for people who wants to love and take care of you. ang importante tanggap niya kayo ni baby. just go with the flow. 

[viellemacey]

^thank you sis. i hope everything will turn out fine.

[aquacharly]

Your  Priority Focus should always be on advancing yourself. Because that is the best insurance you can give yourself and your baby. 

If he is around, to give you more happiness, fine. Let him into your life.
BUT hwag mo isipin, or let your guard down, na he will bring you more financial security.  Therein lies future disaster.  If in the future, he gives you a good life - fine.  BUT make sure at anytime, with or without him -- kaya mo buhayin sarili mo and your kid financially.  That way, you will never feel kelangan mo magtiis or wala kang choice.  At never ka din ever masusumbatan.

My advice is to go into a long courtship, so you get to really know each other. And people close to him pill have time to get to know you too. 

So, it is not about what people will say.
The issue is how to take Best Care of yourself & your kid in the Long-Run. 

Naka  experience ka na a man who let you down hard, very hard. 
So you must have learned the lesson:  People change, sometimes not for the better. 
So, you must have arrived at this conclusion:  The only 1 you can and should depend on is Yourself..

Enjoy the courtship. Enjoy the getting-to-know-you-really-well. Hwag ka pabobola!

[BDJ]

Seems that accepted ka nya sa simula pa lang. Kahit hindi siya ang ama ng anak mo he is still willing to be with you. Bakit hindi mo bigyan ng chance? Eh kung siya pala mismo magtutupad ng dreams mo na maging complete family kayo. Basta sigurado ka na magiging maayos ang trato niya sa bata.

[baliwsayo]

Sis, eto classic example ng gagawa ka ng multo tapos matatakot ka. Lol! 

Agree with everyone here, just enjoy and go with the flow. Agree also na make sure that he is really serious bago mo isipin na maging intimate sa kanya kundi baka maging baby no. 2 pa yan. Witnessed so many cases already ng single mom na nagiging parang international ang daddy ng mga anak niya (iba iba). No pun intended sis ha. You definitely deserve to be happy but be careful na. One mistake is enough. Cheers. 

[Girltalker2]

sis viellemacey, I hope you have learned your lesson from the relationship of your child's father.

I wouldn't say go with the flow. What I would say is pag-isipan mo mabuti ang pros and cons. What do you want in life, and whether he matches what you want and need.

You mentioned one thing about him that concerns me.  He is in Manila at nasa province kayo.  Of course love knows no bounds. Pero sa panahon ngayon, I don't think it is practical to establish a relationship kapag LDR kayo.  In any case -1 point lang naman iyan. Malamang marami pa namang iba na mas ok sya. So ang sakin, evaluate, evaluate, evaluate. 

The good things about all this is may asim ka pa!     So that just proves na if you want to find a guy, you still can. So don't settle for anything less. Make sure he deserves you before falling for another guy. 

 

[viellemacey]

sorry for the late reply sissies. busy sa baby girl ko kasi sobrang likot na nya hindi na mapagkatiwalaan ang yaya sa pagbabantay lage nya natatakasan.

anyways..
@aquacharly, naku sis never ko binalak na buhayin nya kami or ng kung sino man kasi ayoko nga masumbatan na baka yun lang ang habol ko which is not naman.

@baliwsayo, sa totoo lang sis baka yun nga yung maging isue ko kung saka sakaling magkapartner ako ulit, takot na kong magkababy kasi baka nga mag end up lang sa baby no.2 na walang daddy

@girltalker2, thanks for the "may asim ka pa" line sis, nakaka-inspire. haha. but seriously i have learned my lesson na talaga kaya nga siguro yung takot ko na this courtship what-so-ever thing might end up just like my other relationship is always just around the corner. pero sabi nga nila there's no harm in trying, just be careful, extra careful, very careful

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, ito lang masasabi ko. Mukhang ready ka na naman magdate.  Pero sana, huwag lang sa iisang lalaki. As you might fall into the trap of seeing him only at akala mo okay na okay na sya. Tapos before you know it, you have fallen for him, ayan ka na naman. 

Sakin kasi, I got married to my one and only BF.  Hindi ako exposed at ni hindi ko nga alam how to fix our marriage when I discovered about my ex husband's infidelity.  And little did I know din how to handle men or handle relationships.  It took me some time.  Fast forward, nakipaghiwalay ako, nagmuni muni, went on with life alone.  But then, when I was ready to date again, I did.  And I was initially confused as I was only seeing 1 guy at the start.  Tapos parang ang bilis mahulog ng loob ko kasi iniisip ko who would fall for someone like me na may anak na, hiwalay sa asawa and matanda narin. But little did I know, I found my distractions by dating other men too (para hindi ako magfall sa first guy that just appears in front of me).  This also gave me some perspective on dating, how to choose the right guy for you, to think before loving, etc. Because as of this point, I don't think I can afford another mistake.  Wala nako sa kalendaryo and therefore, I just don't want to waste my time, effort, tears and heartache to someone na hindi deserving.

Moreso, damay pa mga bata if ever magkamali ako. Bear this in mind too, damay daughter mo in case you intend to be in a serious relationship.  Kaya before any relationship becomes serious, make sure na talagang deserving yung lalaki ng pagmamahal mo. The last thing you want is to be in the same shoes as you were when your ex left you.

[Miss.Pancake]

Why not give him a chance to court you? And it's difficult to argue with career sis. So hindi ba parang medyo mababaw kung yun lang ang concern mo? think of the bigger picture of you and your baby having a family and a responsible husband and father. Just give him a chance to prove himself and if things didn't work out atleast you both tried.

[lei0418]

kakarelate naman ako dito kay sis,may friend din akong ganyan na napaka masigasig,anyways single mom din ako,got 2 kids,separated due to infidelity at pagiging irresponsable,so moving on,this friend of mine was kaklase ko nung elem pa lang kami,di ko alam may crush na pala sakin eversince, tapos nung nagkareunion kami ngayong matatanda na ayun dun na siya nagsimula,nalaman niya pa situation ko,ang sakin lang,very platonic kasi tapos sa kanya unrequited,never ko talaga siya nagustuhan,though siguro kung sa ibang babae niya ginagawa yung mga ganong diskarte eh pasok na pasok siya sa banga,friendzone siya sakin eversince,sinasabi ko na lang na sayang siya,mas madami pang deserving kesa sakin at walang baggage hehe walang siyang mapapala sakin so remain friends na lang talaga but still hes pushing his luck until now haha, sorry napahaba,anyways sa kaso mo sis since may feelings ka din naman pala,push natin yan,iba din kasi talaga pag may katuwang ka sa buhay,di lang naman sa financial yung sinasabi ko ah,yung malaman mo lang na may someone na willing magmahal at magcare sa inyong magiina malaking bagay na yun, so sis gudluck!pray ka lang ibibigay yan sayo kung talagang ukol.

[aquacharly]

^ sis, ito lang masasabi ko. Mukhang ready ka na naman magdate.  Pero sana, huwag lang sa iisang lalaki. As you might fall into the trap of seeing him only at akala mo okay na okay na sya. Tapos before you know it, you have fallen for him, ayan ka na naman. 

Sakin kasi, I got married to my one and only BF.  Hindi ako exposed at ni hindi ko nga alam how to fix our marriage when I discovered about my ex husband's infidelity.  And little did I know din how to handle men or handle relationships.  It took me some time.  Fast forward, nakipaghiwalay ako, nagmuni muni, went on with life alone.  But then, when I was ready to date again, I did.  And I was initially confused as I was only seeing 1 guy at the start.  Tapos parang ang bilis mahulog ng loob ko kasi iniisip ko who would fall for someone like me na may anak na, hiwalay sa asawa and matanda narin. But little did I know, I found my distractions by dating other men too (para hindi ako magfall sa first guy that just appears in front of me).  This also gave me some perspective on dating, how to choose the right guy for you, to think before loving, etc. Because as of this point, I don't think I can afford another mistake.  Wala nako sa kalendaryo and therefore, I just don't want to waste my time, effort, tears and heartache to someone na hindi deserving.

Moreso, damay pa mga bata if ever magkamali ako. Bear this in mind too, damay daughter mo in case you intend to be in a serious relationship.  Kaya before any relationship becomes serious, make sure na talagang deserving yung lalaki ng pagmamahal mo. The last thing you want is to be in the same shoes as you were when your ex left you.

Perfect!   Best advice.

For people who go through heartbreak:  betrayal, separation, annulment, abandonment, kagagahan, whatever crisis that cripples our self esteem and breaks our hearts -- 

      Pick yourself up.
      Dust yourself off.
      Gather your strength.
      Face the world:   The joys & hardships, all.
      For what matters in the end is not how you fell, but how you picked yourself up & moved on.

So TS, yes --  enjoy the  developing relationship, but do not rush it.  Make your Brain work,  while your Heart sings.