Author Topic: BEING A "MISTRESS"  (Read 170816 times)

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #340 on: March 15, 2016, 01:47:33 pm »
Quote
kahit humubad pa si other woman sa harap niya, kung matino siya, tatanggi siya.

Life is all about choices. Pero sa sinasabi mong yan. Ewan ko lang kung makakatanggi pa. Wag naman ganyan kasi kahit sinong santo, mahihirapan pag anjan na sa sitwasyon na yan...Kumbaga sa chess, almost checkmate na. Pero, fault pa rin ng lalake yan. In the first place, bakit sya nasa lugar na ganun. If alam nya na weakness nya maakit sa mga babae, bakit pa sya papayag na mapunta sa sitwasyon na parang checkmate sya? Kung alam mong delikado sa balon, wag ka na mag attempt maglakad sa paligid nito.

simang

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #341 on: March 15, 2016, 02:10:05 pm »
Ang ganda sana ng idea young_maiden, dismembered. But we don't live in the perfect world. I guess dismembered is right, it all boils down to our choices. Kaya nga tayo binigyan ng freewill, para makapili at maging responsible sa mga decisions natin. Kaya as much as we want to put the blame on the philandering man, hindi natin pwedeng idiscount na the other woman has something to do with it too. Lalo na kung well aware naman ang babae na sidechick sya. Unless siguro the guy deceived the gal para makascore.

Sa mga kakilala kong nasira ang pamilya dahil sa may kabit si lalake, si asawang babae ang laging nagsusuffer samantalang mga lalake happy go lucky pa din. Merong bagong partner at abswelto pa sa sustento sa anak nila. Ewan ko lang. Pero palagay ko hindi nila talaga ma-feel nila ang consequences ng actions nila. Kaya happy happy pa din samantalang ang pamilyang iniwan nya may mga problemang hinaharap.

Nakakalungkot no? My uncle was like that. Parang proud na proud pa na nagkaanak pa sya sa kabit nya kahit maedad na. Apat yung anak na iniwan nya sa legal wife and lahat sila had to stop school and work early kasi hindi na sila sinustentuhan ng tatay nila. Hanggang sa namatay sya wala syang contact sa mga pinsan ko. When he died, yung mga cousins ko pa ang umuwi ng probinsya para tumulong sa pagpapalibing. Nakakalungkot, nakakaasar. Yung mga serial philanderers talaga, I don't they realize yung gravity ng ginagawa nila.

Lizi

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #342 on: March 15, 2016, 02:23:54 pm »
^AGREE

Ako din, I wanna see what lessons can be picked up from mistresses.  IMO, everyone, regardless of position in life -- has a lesson to share.

The hurdle to sharing appears to be the boastful stance of mistresses/3rd parties -- parang ok lang maka isa sa pagsira ng buhay ng iba.  So, that gets the fences up.   
Well, there's a lesson therein too for wives.


1 thing I gathered too was that  a Husband/BF has a certain image of strength or superiority -- so in his times of self doubt/decline/failure --  he finds solace in someone who will take him, no questions, no expectations, no judgment, no fears.
      So, wives should handle their husbands' vulnerability with empathy. Do not add to his stress, to his self doubt, waning confidence etc. 

As a man's career/business progresses -- he needs to level up his image, his lifestyle, his skills & capabilities.   The higher up the man is, the more proficient and presentable & sociable his woman must be.  The higher up he goes, the more he needs a Total Performing Wife/ Partner. 
     So, wives should keep up & level-up too. Not just physically, but also intellectually.  For as a man moves up, his crowd becomes better --  wealthier and brainier.   Kelangan the wife feels comfy with the crowd they leveled up to. 

Men are such ego-centric creatures generally. They want to be "appreciated"   Pag taken for granted, or he feels the wife is better than him -- ayan na.  He may look for someone who acts as if everything he says is brilliant, who never contradicts/challenges him.  Someone who is very grateful with the few thousands or gifts he gives her --  tuwang tuwa as his wife when he gave her a new car.
        So, wives  should not win battles to lose the war.  (And, lol, sa umpisa lang ok sa mistress to be happy with konti,  later on -- level up to or even surpass the wife's demands yan.  Lol. I bet my 2 ears). ..... (& some husbands, di nila ma gets that "appreciation" is in our taking care of their children, their home, their hard-earned money. Hay buhay )


omg ms. aquacharly, sobrang late ko na nabasa itong thread na ito pero out of all comments, eto ang pinaka-nagustuhan ko. Hindi naman nangagaliwa si hubs ko pero I was hit by this realization na kailangan ko din mag-upgrade for the sake of him. Kase my hubs is an engineer and talga namang blooming ang career niya ngayon. pero tuwing overtime siya (which is totoong overtime since magkasama kami sa work) nagmamaktol ako how hardworking he is. nagseselos ako tuwing priority niya ay work. and kapag he's driving on our way home, puro work pa din ang kwento niya and i find it boring hindi talaga ako nakikinig kaya minsan we end up in a small fight (pero hindi din naman namin pinapatagal). so feeling ko ako na nga siguro ang kailangan mag-upgrade at makasabay sa kanya kase bigla ako natakot na someday may other woman na mag-take place at mas makaintindi sa kanya.

Thank you so much for this. I will try my best to be a good wife for my good husband :)

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #343 on: March 15, 2016, 03:42:34 pm »
Quote
Ang ganda sana ng idea young_maiden, dismembered. But we don't live in the perfect world. I guess dismembered is right, it all boils down to our choices. Kaya nga tayo binigyan ng freewill, para makapili at maging responsible sa mga decisions natin. Kaya as much as we want to put the blame on the philandering man, hindi natin pwedeng idiscount na the other woman has something to do with it too. Lalo na kung well aware naman ang babae na sidechick sya. Unless siguro the guy deceived the gal para makascore.

As a guy, tingin ko kasi, guy talaga ang magdadala ng lahat. Unang una hindi naman dapat sya pumasok sa isang responsibilidad kung hindi nya kayang panindigan. Ang daling mag say ng no. In the end si guy naman ang magdedecide kasi talaga. Walang mangyayaring milagro kung hindi papayag si guy besides sya naman ang nasa commitment pa kaya sa kanya talaga ang responsibilidad.

Quote
Nakakalungkot no? My uncle was like that. Parang proud na proud pa na nagkaanak pa sya sa kabit nya kahit maedad na. Apat yung anak na iniwan nya sa legal wife and lahat sila had to stop school and work early kasi hindi na sila sinustentuhan ng tatay nila. Hanggang sa namatay sya wala syang contact sa mga pinsan ko. When he died, yung mga cousins ko pa ang umuwi ng probinsya para tumulong sa pagpapalibing. Nakakalungkot, nakakaasar. Yung mga serial philanderers talaga, I don't they realize yung gravity ng ginagawa nila.

May uncle din akong ganyan. Pero baligtad naman.. yung legal family nya ang nag susuffer sa ngayon. Kailangan itaguyod ng naiwan nyang pamilya ang kabuhayan nila samantalang sya happy happy lang. Sabihin na natin na yun ang ultimate happiness nya. Pero hindi ba dapat hindi nya din iiwan responsibility nya?

ajang

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #344 on: March 18, 2016, 08:49:59 am »
kaya nga sabi nila cheating is a choice not a mistake  >:(

sorry di ako nagback read, pero dun sa mga di makakawala o di kayang umiwas, kapag gusto maraming paraan at kapag ayaw maraming dahilan. ang saya ng feeling kapag wala ka sa ganitong relasyon ramdam na ramdam mo na free ka.

momentum

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #345 on: March 18, 2016, 11:16:27 am »
kung mistress ka..jusko, parang awa na save yourself nalang before it's too late...


my brother had several mistresses. pero yung last (ewan ko lang) is talagang sineryoso na niya.
he walked out of his wife with 3 kids and nagsama sila ni mistress. nagkaroon sila ng anak (I think kaya nagsama na sila kasi may anak na si kabitch). take note, SIL didn't have a job. so, nganga diba?

sa sobrang stress narin siguro at dahil namatay father ni SIL..she had a stroke last year around this time. she got bedridden. hindi naasikaso the kids. we tried to contact my brother but he did not answer..we contacted the kabitch but syempre ayaw daw niya makialam. By July, SIL passed away, leaving her kids behind. we contacted my brother again, ni anino hindi man lang nagpakita or sumagot.

last month we found out the eldest daughter (16yo) ni SIL was 5months pregnant. if bibilangin, she got pregnant a month after her mom passed away. because of abandonment she probably clinged on to anything and anyone that showed her some "love". again, we contacted my brother to tell him this,,as usual no answer and he blocked me.

I snooped his fb..seems like he and his kabitch are no longer together. because he posted a lot of stuff recently (which is not like him)..about the kabitch getting a protection order and what not. so if it is true..then there is another kid that doesn't have a father again.

see what having affairs do to the lives of families? nakakatuwa ba ? gusto mo mangyari rin ito sa buhay ninyo? kaya sana wala ng babae magtolerate at pumayag na gawin silang kabitch ng mga lalakeng gag* katulad ng brother ko. good luck nalang if ipursue parin ng mga kabitch relation nila. one day babalik rin naman sa kanila yun, just like the kabitch of my brother, who is now a single mom and most probably was abused. pero ang pinaka kawawa talaga ay ang mga inosenteng bata na nadadamay dahil dito.  :'( their world just turns upside down and they do not deserve it

at sana kung sino man susunod na presidente..sana gawing seryoso and iimplement na yung child support, gaya ng ibang bansa na walang kawala talaga mga lalake. kaya lang naman madami talaga malakas na loob na mga lalakeng magkaroon ng mistress at iwan pamilya is because walang hahabol sa kanila..
« Last Edit: March 18, 2016, 11:22:35 am by momentum »

im fine!

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #346 on: March 18, 2016, 12:28:09 pm »
I agree.. Its a choice. I have a friend na kahit anong advice or galit ko, she still choose to become a mistress. May anak na sila ngayon and theyre no longer together. Sabi ko sa kanya, sana hindi ko sya iniwan that time. Nung ayaw nya kase makinig sakin, I keep my distance sa galit ko. She said siguro daw need nya talaga pagdaanan yun and happy naman sya kase may baby na sya.
I understand naman na nagmahal lang talaga sila.

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #347 on: March 18, 2016, 01:18:17 pm »
Sigh. Nakakalungkot mga kwento. Mga kalokohan at kag@guhan ng lalake pero nagagawa pa nilang parang wala lang. Namatay na ang dating asawa, mga anak ay napariwara na.. anong klase itong mga lalake na ito? Bakit pa kayo papatol sa ganito? Tama talaga dapat lagyan ng mark itong mga ganito katarant@dong mga lalake. Walang konsensya. Mabuti pang i-salvage na lang mga ito para hindi na gumawa ng problema sa mundo? Ang masakit eh parang hindi pa nagsisisi sa mga ginagawa nila.

j.adore

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #348 on: March 18, 2016, 04:03:20 pm »
Ang puso mo dismembered..
Siguro nasa foundation lang yan.. Kung ang lalaki tinuruan rumespeto ng babae, di niya gagawin mga yan. Kung ang babae tinuruan rumespeto sa sarili, hindi nila tatanggapin maging pangalawa lang.

Yung mga alam kong mistress nasa in denial stage. "Boyfriend" daw at madami excuses bakit di pa sila kinakasal kahit ang tagal na nila.
Tapos, alam mo yung pilit to show how happy in love they are? Posting in social media and chatting about it to everyone. Pero deep down, kita naman it's just a front.

Mistresses, wake up! How can a love be so "right" if you're doing so much wrong to other people?

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #349 on: March 18, 2016, 04:20:58 pm »
^ Eh nakakapikon naman kasi! Walang konsensya. Hindi man lang na bother sa mga consequences ng action nila? Sorry ah. pero may mga kilala kasi akong ganitong tao. And yes... same na same halos ng kwento mo. Ang masasabi ko lang... selfish itong mga taong pumapasok sa ganitong setup. Laging own happiness ang iniisip nila. Kesyo dun sila masaya kaya ok lang iwan ang responsibilities at may masaktan na ibang mga tao.

Dapat talaga parusahan ang mga womanizer. Dapat hindi na binubuhay kasi wala naman mabuting naidudulot. Salot lang sila sa lipunan. Cycle lang ito. Dahil ganyan sila, uulit at uulit lang din. Pati anak nila possible na maging ganito kalabasan etc..


Girltalker2

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #350 on: March 18, 2016, 04:59:31 pm »

at sana kung sino man susunod na presidente..sana gawing seryoso and iimplement na yung child support, gaya ng ibang bansa na walang kawala talaga mga lalake. kaya lang naman madami talaga malakas na loob na mga lalakeng magkaroon ng mistress at iwan pamilya is because walang hahabol sa kanila..

Asa ka pa. Sa pinas pa?! Paano? Before a law can be approved, dadaan pa sa butas ng karayom kasi katakot takot na approvals and oppositions at restraining order ang makakaharap mo. Look at the RH bill palang...

Tsk tsk tsk... Halos 50% kaya ng mga Politicians na iyan eh May kabit at Anak sa labas. That's why they made the laws that way - for their own benefit.  Puede kunin ang apelido ng tatay ng anak sa labas pero pahirapan pagdating sa sustento.

Tapos all these in a very Catholic country na walang divorce! Where cheating us so rampant, kada kanto May kabit/kalandian/Anak sa labas?!


Philandering guys - lagyan ng mark? Lol! Baka yung martyr pa na Wife ang unang magdefend!
« Last Edit: March 18, 2016, 05:03:44 pm by Girltalker2 »

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #351 on: March 18, 2016, 05:20:57 pm »
Quote
Philandering guys - lagyan ng mark? Lol! Baka yung martyr pa na Wife ang unang magdefend!

Hindi naman yan ang una kong naririnig. Guess what?

"Wala na akong pakielam sa kanya! Bahala na sya sa buhay nya. Kakayanin ko itaguyod ang mga anak ko kahit ako lang. Hindi ako aasa sa kanya!"

Ganyan ang madalas na naririnig ko. Kaya itong si lalake, parang nakunsinte pa. Ayun!

momentum

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #352 on: March 18, 2016, 05:52:43 pm »
^^wishful thinking lang naman sis girltalker haha! Alam ko matagal at baka impossible nga naman mangyari yan dito sa pinas dahil gaya ng sabi mo ultimong politicians lahat sila may kabit

I guess antayin nalang ang karma. At para sa mga mistress na nakawala sa ganitong relationship, learn your lesson na and never repeat

junetwentythree

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #353 on: March 19, 2016, 07:23:36 am »



Philandering guys - lagyan ng mark? Lol! Baka yung martyr pa na Wife ang unang magdefend!

+1

A resounding yes. Just look around the numerous threads wives create about their cheating husbands -- halfway through they start acting like their husbands never did anything wrong to begin with and even go as far as blaming themselves!

lovemeagain30

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #354 on: March 24, 2016, 06:28:39 pm »
^^ Or they will start defending their philandering husbands after they've said all their martyr kwentos.
Tapos aawayin ang mga nag aadvice na hiwalayan ang asawa nila kesyo judgemental at hindi naman lahat ng lalaki ay ganun. hay naku.  ::)

mysterioza_me

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #355 on: March 25, 2016, 10:10:16 am »
Question: kung kunwari pumasok ang mistress sa buhay ni hubby nung time na matagal na silang hiwalay ng misis, paano yun? Dapat pa din ba magalit kay mistress? Deserve pa rin ba ni mistress na makarinig ng harsh words or salita like kakarmahin din siya or magbagong-buhay na dahil nakakasira siya ng pamilya at kung ano pangsalita na nabanggit sa thread. Given na sira na ang family ng guy bago pa siya pumasok and responsible father naman si guy. Anong take ninyo sa ganun situation?

kvandenhaak

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #356 on: March 25, 2016, 11:19:59 am »
^In my opinion, me karapatan naman na sigurong mag-move on ang bawat isa. Kung matagal ng hiwalay and there's no really no chance of getting back together then they should be allowed to be happy. Iba naman kasi yung pangangaliwa. That's when you are very much together with your spouse and having number 2 on the side.

Superjoie

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #357 on: March 25, 2016, 11:43:03 am »
just tell your current partners what's happening now and get a better life. If you're really immune with it, take one last blow and get over it.

dismembered

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #358 on: March 25, 2016, 09:35:44 pm »
Question: kung kunwari pumasok ang mistress sa buhay ni hubby nung time na matagal na silang hiwalay ng misis, paano yun? Dapat pa din ba magalit kay mistress? Deserve pa rin ba ni mistress na makarinig ng harsh words or salita like kakarmahin din siya or magbagong-buhay na dahil nakakasira siya ng pamilya at kung ano pangsalita na nabanggit sa thread. Given na sira na ang family ng guy bago pa siya pumasok and responsible father naman si guy. Anong take ninyo sa ganun situation?

Ang alam ko. Isa lang naman kasi ang pwedeng asawa in a lifetime. Unless widow or widower isa pa rin ang kinikilalang asawa. Kung matagal na silang hiwalay due to some reasons... Asawa pa rin nya yun. Dapat nga hindi ineentertain yung thought na ganito kasi nagiging excuse na lang sya. Kahit anong sabihin pag different sa asawa eh third party pa rin. May difference ba yung nagka third party after nagkalabuan ng asawa sa nagka third party habang may asawa then nagka hiwalay din dahil dun? Sad.. Pero parang parehas lang yung outcome. Wag na lang mag asawa kung hindi ready talaga.

kvandenhaak

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #359 on: March 25, 2016, 11:32:37 pm »
^The difference is in the intent. If you have been separated for a long time and there's no chance of reconciliation, there's no cheating involved. The legal spouse is just that, legal wife meaning sa papel lang. Ang mistress kasi, in my understanding, ay yung mga nakikipagrelasyon sa mga lalakeng very much married. We gotta give people some slack sometimes.

 

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