BEING A "MISTRESS"

[stebsy]

Nang nalaman KO Ang totoo dahil may tumawag sa akin na babae sinasabing asawa daw siya ng boyfriend KO (which I thought at first nang gugoodtime lang Ang bf KO) I was like "why me?" All I thought is nasa isang perfect relationship na ako and we're planning to get married. 2yrs na kami noon ng xbf ko and my family knows him. LDR nga lang.

Minura KO siya. Kinasuklaman and all. He explained his side. Nung una wala naman daw siya plan to take things seriously. Which is taliwas sa mga sinabi niya sa akin nung mag start kami ng relationship. He told me why be in a relationship if you're not serious? Might as well mag FUBU nalang. But he really fell in love with me and that he was afraid to tell me the truth dahil baka iwan KO daw siya and ayaw niya mangyari yun.

Bakit Hindi nalang Ang asawa mo Ang landiin mo???!!!!

Wala na time daw ang wife niya sa kanya. He tried bringing the wife to vacation or honeymoons but it seems the wife never appreciated these vacations to rekindle. Wala daw sila sex and that's the time he started masturbating and looking for something else. And ilang beses na din niya nahuli ang wife chatting with someone else. Wife telling him she'll go have sex with her exbf and all her shenanigans. But when wife founds up about me its like all these time si lalake lang Ang nang gagago.

Hindi lang ako Ang naging gf niya while they are still married. Meron pang nauna sa akin.

I feel sorry for the guy.

[babythug28]

i feel sad for the kids na affected lalo na kung may daughters involved. i believe in Karma and it will not haunt just you (kung sino man gumagawa, not really pointing to a specific person here) pero namamana ba. lam nyo yun? hehe.

and if they/she have kids, tapos sila yung ginabaan sa ginagawang kalokohan ng mga to, parang 3x ang sakit. lalo na siguro kung isisi pa sa yo ng anak mo "kaya ganito buhay ko ngayon dahil sa yo!"

mga sis na still 3rd party, i'll tell this as a child of once babaero. when my dad was having his affair i thought business lang nila ng nanay ko yan at hindi kami dapat mainvolve because eventually i was hoping that they can sort things out and bata pa kami nun. until dumating yung time na ako na yung nagkaboyfriend and i accepted the fact that he was a jerk. parang dahil sa ginawa ng tatay ko, bumaba yung value ko sa sarili ko. ok lang na saktan nya ko, ok lang na hindi ako maappreciate, ok lang na hindi ako magdemand. mga ganun ba. bakit? kasi feeling ko "normal" lang sa lalake yun dahil ganun din pinakita ng dad ko sa nanay ko.

so sana, isipin nyo din yung mga bata. hindi man nila nakikita yan ngayon, there will come a time na malalaman din nila yan lalo na kung alam pa ng family nyo or friends. mabilis silang makacatch up, never underestimate their intelligence. mabilis sila makaramdam and talagang masakit yan kapag sinabi nila sa inyo na "atlis yung bf/gf ko hindi babaero katulad mo!"

[iamlili]

^ I agree with you sis. Minsan kung sino pa yung anak na babae sa kanila pa napupunta ang karma ng tatay na nanloko. Though I really don't want to believe in this, pero feeling ko dumating na yung karma na kinakatakutan ko. The last time my Dad had an affair was 3-4 years ago, and up to now remembering what he did, it still hurts, especially sa Mom ko. Little did I know ako pala yung next na maloloko. I promised to myself never ako magiging kabit. Pero times comes na andun na din ako sa sitwasyon na yun. But still, I was the one who decided to get out. After all, hindi yun yung buhay na gusto ko maranasan.

[CITIgirl_04]

mga sisses iska-hazel, C+C, justin3  salamat kung na-appreciate ninyo yung advice ko.. pero let me please make it clear na HINDI PO AKO 'IN ANY WAY' PROUD na nangyari yun sa buhay ko.. I really regretted it and realized what a fool I am.. but thank God because He set me free..

sis babythug28, tama ka.. really consider the kids first.. because they're all innocent on all of this. Next ofcourse is the better half of the affair partner who doesn't even have a clue.. You're only savoring the spur of the moment pero what if it suddenly happens the other way around??? Nope. Hindi ko kakayanin. And hubby ko kahit na marami kaming misunderstandings dahil negative ang approach niya in life and optimist naman ako eh very honest sa akin. I can't bear to hurt him anymore just because of my unsatisfactory at mga pagkukulang niya sa akin.. Mahal na mahal na mahal ko pala siyang talaga and can't bear to lose him..

And sis justin3.. Uhm, kung iyong mamarapatin, i don't want to go in very specific details na sana if ok lang as I don't want to even look back on it anymore but just to satisfy your curiosity, at first sa office lang talaga. We can't even go out. MEdyo mahaba kasi story eh uhm, lumipat pa kami ng another company with some more colleagues (not bec. of rumors but bec. pangit na yung management nung prev. company namin). All our communications are through company email lang. Delete nalang right after. We're both committed and in a good relationship with our partners despite some misunderstandings from time to time. The intimacy thing? I'll zip my mouth sis.. hehe ayoko na TALAGA siyang balikan.. it's like a nightmare to me now.. his face is even blurred in my memory already...

Just my last advice to all of those who are TAKEN/IN A RELATIONSHIP/COMMITTED/MARRIED/LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP out there. The lesson I've learned in this ARE:

1. GUARD YOURSELF ALL THE TIME - if you feel that somebody is subtly showing signs of interest then STAY AWAY ASAP!!! Prevention is better than cure. And if somebody tells you directly, BE BOLD in saying you're not into these kind of relationship. Or plainly, I'm not interested. Di naman na kayo pipilitin nun.

2. BE OPEN WITH YOUR BF/GF/SPOUSE - If you have problems with your partners, let them know IN ANY WAY. Kung wala masyadong time mag-usap dahil sa conflict of schedules, DAANIN SA SULAT. Ika nga, kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan. NEVER look for solutions outside your relationship, only the two of you can fix it. Hindi ang mga advises ng ibang tao ke BFF moman yan. Siyempre lalo nang hindi ng iba na magbibigay ng atensiyon sa iyo. It's just between you and your partner. Don't give up hangga't di niya nalalaman yung dinadala mo sa loob mo. Wag naman siyempreng mang-nag, be patient to set time for the two of you to talk. Kahit gano pa ka-complicated work scheds ninyo, if you really want it, then surely have time for it.

3. BE CONTENTED. - Don't look for others yung mga bagay na gusto ninyong magkaron yung partner ninyo. Appreciate him/her as he/she is. Let them know what you think about their ugali kung meron man kayong di gusto or nais baguhin sa kanila 'in the nicest way possible'. Don't change them for something they're not. Just simply love them as they are. Never look for what they're lacking for in others. Wala lahat ng maganda sa isang tao lang. God equally distributed every single character to everyone. Kahit yung masasama. Otherwise, what a boring relationship would it be kung wala man lang kayong matututunan out of your wrong moves as a couple kung lahat nalang ng ugali nyo maganda. How would your relationship grow maturely?

4. FOR COMMITTED, STAY AWAY IF POSSIBLE WITH THOSE WHO AREN'T TAKEN YET, AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL SINGLE, STAY AWAY FROM THOSE WHO ARE TAKEN/MARRIED ALREADY.
-self-explanatory na to for me. You go with friends who were also single like you, and you attend occasions for taken/married couples like you. So won't fall into temptation of falling for someone taken/married if you're single and vice-versa.

5. PUT GOD IN THE CENTER OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. _this is the most important of all. Always entrust everything to Him kasi he's the only one who can provide the two of you the perfect relationship. It may not be perfect in the eyes of man, but in thE eyes of God, it is.. perfect.

Yun lang po....

[mynameisxtine]

Thanks for all the advise..

Natatawa na lang ako sa violent reaction..LOL

[justin3]

CITIgirl_04… no, no, no,no. you got me wrong sis
guytalker here.
alam ko na actually lahat yan (lalo na sa part ng guy).
kung paano akayin ang manok na nakatali.
kung saan dapat magkita to avoid suspicion and detection.
Kung paano ipagpag at iligaw ang nagsu-surveillance
kung ano ang tamang idahilan pag maraming tanong.
kung ano ang nararapat na oras para magkita.
Kung anong props ang dalhin para hindi paghinalaan
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
   
iba-ibang tao, kaya iba-ibang pamamaraan rin.
(wifeys, if you want me na i-detalye ko isa-isa, base sa aking karanasan mismo… ok lang)

sa tagal ko na dito sa GT lalo na dito sa Sex & Relationships thread, yung post mo pa lang ang makatotohanang naglahad ng "side" ng mistress. (hindi kasi maka-porma ang mga self-confessed mistresses pag lumantad eh, KINUKUYOG agad. nawawala na lang bigla sa GT)

kaya nga may mga threads pa rin like these:

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,281655.0.html
http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,272000.0.html
http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,272533.0.html
http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,234527.0.html
http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,279017.0.html

(marami pang similar threads na ganyan dito, nakabaon na nga lang. if you have noticed, kadalasan, hindi umaabot ng 10 pages, namamatay agad, ganun pa man, hindi bababa sa 1000 views each topic. An indication na maraming LURKERs ang nagbabasa, probably taking down notes sa mga ganyang klaseng isyu.)

At kaya  naglipana ang mga ganyang threads/topics, kasi nga, hindi alam kung ano ang dapat gagawin ng karamihang mga wifeys dito.
Hindi alam mga precautionary measures.
harapan nang niloloko ng mga esposo nila clueless pa rin. nakalatag na nga ang mga indications, traces, ebidensya, ayaw pang maniwala. gusto pa atang makitang/mahuling nakapatong mismo ang mga asawa nila sa ibang kandungan... pathetic kung iisipin pero nakakaawa pa rin.

Something na ayaw ko rin mangyari sa mga kababaihan sa pamilya ko.

Tama lang na walang specific details. Generic lang.
Like yung “WHEN”:
after office hours ba?
Noon breaks?
Weekends?
Holidays?
Bumebenta ba yung everytime “bumabaha sa kalye”? 
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera

In such a way, para lang magkasalubong ang REVELATIONS mo sa mga OBSERVATIONS ng mga married wifeys dito.

Ngayon, kung hindi pa sila maniniwalang naglalaro na ng apoy ang mga esposo nila. Ay, bahala sila!... alam na kung bakit HINDI UMAASENSO ANG PINAS… ang DAMING "T" eh. ang daling utuhin.

Eksampol: (eto asahan nyo mga sissies for the next 2 years dahil sa Skyway projects sa MM)
 Yung “traffic” issue. Hindi talaga nagagasgas na palusot yan eh.
5-6pm ang kadalasan uwian pero 10pm to midnight na nakauwi.
Kesyo may nasagasaang pusa sa kalye kaya sobrang trapik daw, kaya nag 2-4-da-road muna kasama ang tropa hanggang tumila ang trapik.
Yun pala nag shortime sila ng kulasisi right after office hours, tapos nag mumog ng isang shot ng EMPERAning bago pumasok ng bahay para pagnakaharap si misis mangamoy alak, hindi amoy mot-mot.


Thumbs-up ako sa Tip # 2 mo, lalo na yung Tip # 5. Karamihan rin kasi dito basta nagpaSAkal na lang… for CONVENIENCE lang ata eh. Nakalimutang gawing FOUNDATION ng kasal nila ang Panginoon. Kaya ayon, nung dumating ang petty quarrels, naging PRO-DIVORCE na rin.


Si mynameisxtine my na-contribute na (based on her other posts sa ibang threads) on WHERE they meet. From Taguig, sa Mariposa, Cubao pa sila nagtatagpo. Sobrang layo nun. 2-3 rides pa kung mag-commute. Malayo-layo pa ang lalakarin mula EDSA.
Mahabang oras ang magagamit nila, 5-10hrs ang dapat e-explain nila sa kani-kanilang partners kung bakit mawawala sila. 

O ayan mga wifeys. Madalas bang nawawala ang mga esposo nyo ng 5-10hrs ng walang klarong kadahilanan?
Actually pwede ring 1-2hrs lang. Lunchbreak-quickie.
Possible nga rin yung YOSI Break lang eh. 5-10mins. Makaraos lang talaga.   


3990

[mynameisxtine]

Very very well said justine, nakakaloka ang haba ng eksplanasyon mo huh..

yung iba kasi jan, sana nagiisip muna bago magreact ng wagas,. kaya ako nag share, para kahit papaano, malaman at maintindihan ninyo bakit may mga eksenang 3rd party, shubet, kabet, kulasisi, sidebitch, kabitch and what so ever, kasi hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon eh si babae ang lumalandi, may mga pagkakataon din na si boylet ang naghanap ng wala kay esmi. Hindi porket, pumatol sa may asawa eh nangati na, nagpakamot, pokpok or what. may sariling dahilan ang bawat nilalang sa mundo bakit nila ginagawa ang isang bagay, masama man o mabuti.

Ang mga Pilipino kasi, masyadong judgemental. try ninyo kaya mag isip. or pag aralan ang nasa paligid ninyo bago kayo magwala. Tanungin ninyo sarili ninyo, baka asawa/partner ninyo eh may kalaguyo na din hindi nyo lang talaga nahahalata.

at ang pagiging bayolente, lalo na sa isang post/comment ay walang magagawa, lalo lang kayo maasar sa mga mababasa nyo pa.

[funstuffjoan0109]

Tama, mga Pinoy masyadong judgemental at matataas ang ihi,.. usually magagaling magadvice pero in reality mahirap talaga maging mistress lalo na kapag hindi mo naman alam. Minsan ang mahalaga talaga sa mga tao kung saan sila masaya kahit nasasaktan sila minsan. Di natin masisisi yung mga girls na ganyan lalo na kapag sobrang nainlove ka na sa taong yun, minsan yung mga taong may asawa pa nga ang maalaga, responsable at mapagkumbaba. Reality sucks! Pero minsan ang pagbabago itinatiming din yan. Minsan wrong timing talaga mainlove pero dapat marunong kang kumalas kapag kailangan na, kapag nakakasakit ka na. Pero minsan maiisip mo rin, marami talagang ikinakasal na hindi pala para sa isa't-isa, not worth it na kapag tinuloy pa, not worth it kung magkaiba kayo ng goal. Mas ok pa rin na mapunta ka sa taong nagpapasaya sayo, kahit ano pa sya. Wala tayong magagawa sa mga t**** magmahal, kahit anong advise gawin mo dyan, basta inlove yan, walang papanigan yan kundi ang puso nya.
I am now happily engaged with Rob and I must say napagdaanan ko na maging mistress ng hindi ko alam pero heto ako ngayon at masayang masaya dahil ako ang first love ng taong papakasalan ko next year. Timing lang ang lahat at pagaccept sa past ng taong mahal mo. Alam nya lahat ng past ko, at tanggap nya yun dahil mahal nya ko. I had 10 exbfs and tanggap nya yun kahit ako ang 1st gf nya,.. Thats how True love works in life! Amen.

[mynameisxtine]

One more thing you guys need to know, Men don't leave their marriage because they have a better offer somewhere else. They leave because the relationship doesn't make them happy. He got married because his wife threatened to leave him if he didn't. He had kids because she threatened to leave him. He buckles under pressure from others and lets them direct his life. Shotgun wedding basically. The truth is that it doesn't matter that a marriage is a soul-sucking prison for you.

You could say we chose our situations, that we made our beds and must now lie in them. You could say a lot of things. Or you could see that people are multi-dimensional and difficult to categorize, that love isn't something within our control, that it can come and go, or hit you and never go away. Like the Facebook status goes: it's complicated.

I know how everyone feels about the ‘other woman’ in any situation and I understand why people feel that way about her. I mean, no one wants to be or deserves to be cheated on. But I think it’s important to hear both sides of the story. The other woman isn’t always some cold-hearted b**** out to steal someone’s man. Sometimes she’s just a girl who has gotten herself in way over her head. Sometimes she’s not proud of what she did. Sometimes she gets hurt, too.

That's what I wanted to put forth by sharing my current situation. It's not just sex and the sort of gory details that feed this vulture culture. Look beyond. Dare to be made uncomfortable by the complexity of a situation and understand that unless you're standing where we are standing, you'll never truly understand our reasons.

[CITIgirl_04]

very well said mynameisxtine, sabi ko nga i perfectly understand where you're coming from pati lahat ng sinasabi mo ngayon.. Di mo man aminin, it's a defense mechanism of some sort dahil ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon na yan ngayon. I could totally relate dahil lahat ng sinasabi mo ngayon eh sinasabi ko rin noon. Kahit anong sabihin natin, when we are the mistress/third party/kabit, lagi tayong nasa 'defensive' mode.

It's true na sa side ng affair partner na babae eh hindi lang sex, hindi lang yung sarap, na nasasaktan din siya, nA you're not really a 'cold-hearted b*tch' na nang-aagaw ng asawa ng may asawa, na kesyo complicated, etc. etc. Pero at the end of the day, we cannot hide the reality na may asawa/gf pa rin siya. Sabi nga ni sis funstuffjoan0109(congratulations nga pala sis -- ako rin ikakasal na sa march), REALITY SUCKS diba? How about for the guy? Really, what's in it for them?

Men can give a lot of reasons as to why they cannot leave their marriages/existing relationship which is also the reason why some woman gets to be the victim. Like in your case, alam ko na ikaw ay biktima rin dito. Though you also have a fault by letting yourself willingly into this wrong kind of relationship, YOU ARE ALSO A VICTIM. NAGMAMAHAL KA LANG KASI.

Natatawa nga ako kasi ganyang-ganyan din yung ka-affair partner ko before. Ang tawag pa nga sa kanya ng mga friends namin ay 'under' kasi hindi raw makatanggi kay misis. Panay deny naman si guy but the truth is, he's really a coward. Don't take this personally on me sis ha it's just that I'm speaking from my personal experience which is like a twin to yours.

Alam mo ba isa sa mga na-realize ko nung unti-unti na 'kong kumakawala is, how coward is the guy I thought I've fallen in love with. Ganyang-ganyan din kasi noon. Na mahal na mahal niya raw ako but it's complicated(na gaya ng sabi mo) to leave our families and kids behind. Sabi mo nga,

Men don't leave their marriage because they have a better offer somewhere else. They leave because the relationship doesn't make them happy.

As what you said, he's already married. Shotgun wedding? Sorry but I don't believe in that. He has all the time in the world to run. Even before he says 'I do'. And from what you said, his wife threatened to leave him that's why he got married? Sis, I'm concerned, because that's clearly got you blinded. If he is not happy, then he shouldn't have married in the first place. So the fact that he got married when his wife threatened to leave him clearly indicates that he DOESN'T WANT HIS WIFE TO LEAVE HIM. They even have kids when his wife threatened to leave him? So he seduced his wife just for her not to leave him which resulted them having their kids? Am I getting it right? Or am I right?
Sorry sis ha, pero I'm just analyzing every detail you've given us and thanks for sharing it.

But for me(at naisip ko rin ito sa dati kong affair partner), the fact that he can't stand and decide on his own wife and kids which is TECHNICALLY the priorities on his life right now makes me ask myself: What more pa kaya ako na affair partner lang?

He lets them direct his life literally means that when time comes... somebody -- could be a close friend of him or his wife, a relative, or anybody that knew their relationship -- caught the two of you in the act (not really 'that' thing) but by being together and kinuyog ka na ng mga tao to the point na you'll be getting harsh messages, emails, calls, or worst puntahan ka nalang bigla sa bahay ninyo NG KUNG SINUMAN --  I knew someone who went through all this -- eh sa palagay mo kakayanin ba niyang ipagtanggol ka when in fact gaya nga ng sabi mo eh he let others direct his life which even lead him to marrying his wife just because he was threatened? How could he protect you from all of these if ever this will happen when even he wasn't able to save himself for a lifetime misery just because sinabi lang na iiwanan siya???

Para sa'kin lang ha, yung tipong pinakasalan niya ang asawa niya wag lang siyang iwan means that his wife is valuable to him.

And yes sis funstuffjoan0109 tama ka, iba-iba talaga ang reasons pero what's the reason why didn't he leave his wife? Don't tell me financially? I'm just curious. Kasi kung financially then it only means wala siyang capacity na bumuhay ng pamilya. Ngayon kung siya ang bumubuhay ng pamilya niya then I can't see any reason why he can't leave his wife but it's because he values her so much that he even married her.

Sis, sometimes men tend to eat their peace of cake and take advantage of the best of both worlds because they can get it for free. Why will he leave his wife nga naman when he can get anything from you ng walang kapalit? Why go over the headache of leaving his wife and have their marriage annulled, his reputation stained, and have others criticize him when he can keep you???
 
You that is so willing to give yourself for free.

You can say we don't stand in where you're standing at but I guess you're not valuing yourself much dear. I'm sorry for others that were criticizing you right away but it's because yes, they don't understand it and you just have to accept it. Kahit anong sabi mo na wala kasi kami sa sitwasyon mo, hindi talaga maiintindihan yan ng nakararami dahil kahit anong gawin natin eh pag-aari pa rin ng iba ang ating kinakasama.

Ke maganda man ang pagsasama nila ng asawa niya o hindi, at bali-baligtarin man natin ang lahat, third party/other woman/affair partner/second best ka pa rin.

I'm not condemning you in any way, trust me. Pero I think there's much more in you than to settle for someone who's taking advantage of your weakness. If you're not happy in your current relationship(I know you're gonna say it's easy for me to say it but you know you should do the right thing), then be single and enjoy it. Don't settle for somebody who only makes you second best.
I can sense na matalino ka, maybe you're even pretty in person so why settle for someone who cannot fight for you and make you his number 1???

Do you want to be the 'kept woman' for the rest of your life???

Sorry dear ha, I'm just concerned. Pero at the end of the day, it's still you na masusunod. I'm just sharing my story. Gusto ko lang sana na ma-realize mo na ang mga babaeng kagaya natin ay di dapat niloloko, kundi minamahal, tinataas sa bandana, at ipinagmamalaki sa lahat. HINDI TINATAGO.
Lalo na kung it's A SPECIAL PERSON LIKE YOU. YOU DESERVED SOMEBODY SPECIAL. and I'm sure GOD HAS PREPARED SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR YOU TO BE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE at hindi panandalian lang. Consider the long term sis. I'm sure you've already asked yourself(even once) how long would this kind of relationship last... Yun kasing pagtatagong ginagawa namin din ang nakapagpamulat ng aking mata sa katotohanan kung hanggang kailan niya ako kayang panindigan sa panandalian naming kaligayan(naks rhyme ba?? ) Anyway kidding aside, nagising nalang ako one day na ayaw ko na pala ng ganung klaseng relationship. Nakakapagod. Nakakababa ng pagkatao. Nakaka-degrade ng pagkababae. Nakaka-guilty. I feel pathetic.

Anyway tapos na yun and I'm more than happy I was over it.

Kasi naaalala ko nun, oo lagi kaming masaya, lagi kaming walang problema, nakakalimutan namin ang mga tao sa paligid namin pag magkasama kami na para bang may sarili kaming mundo, para akong nalulusaw pag tinitingnan niya ako, at ang haba-haba ng hair ko kasi feeling ko gustung-gusto niya ako... pero di ko man maamin noon na kaya ko nang aminin ngayon, eh mas malamang ang kalungkutan ko nung may ganun akong uri ng relasyon. At iniisip ko rin lagi na pag kaya nakalusot siya sa asawa niya at pinili na niya ako at nagsama na kami eh makakasiguro kaya ako na hindi niya rin yun gagawin sakin or nung may affair pa kami eh baka naman may other other woman pa siya??? Hindi ko na naatim na nabubuhay ako nun sa pagdududa at pag iisip pag di na kami magkasama at di ko rin maatim pag naiisip kong ang relasyon namin ay walang matibay na pundasyon kundi sa nagsimula ito sa isang pagtataksil, pagtatago, at kasinungalingan.

I'm going to pray for you to have an open eyes and mind sis.
Your value is much much more than where you're at now.

Thanks for reading...

[CITIgirl_04]

And for justin3, sorry naman.. BRO ka pala.. hehe.

Separate yung sayo kasi ang haba ng post mo eh...

Before I answer your questions, may ask lang ako since you're a guy who's been with this kind of relationship?

Why don't you share your experience as to why it happened and what you're thinking about your mistress. We want to know it from a real man's point of view. Bakit hindi mo natagalan or anong nakapagpamulat ng iyong mga mata... And please be honest kasi if you have inhibitions then we'll never know why men sometimes act like this and that to the point that they forgot to be a true gentleman by luring the woman into their trap and taking advantage of their... body??? (haha peace)

And if possible bakit in the end hindi mo pa rin siya pinili at naghiwalay pa rin kayo.. sorry I don't know your story yet but can you share yours? Baka yung mga ibang readers lang na hindi pa lumalantad pero nasa third party relationship eh mamulat din ang mata coming from a guy's mouth.

Pero kung ayaw mo naman eh okay lang po... thanks.

[vainmom]

Dapat dito wala magbibigay ng advices.aware naman yung mistress na mali ginagawa nya.lam din niya ang kawawa talaga yung mga bata.di ba ang goal naman ng thread na ito is to know what the mistress think, feel and make her decide to have a relaitionship with married man.hindi ito thread para pagsabihan sila. The experiences and their ways that they will share will help us mga wife para aware tayo ano dapat natin gawin para hindi maghanap ng iba mga husband natin.aminin natin,minsan nasa atin talaga problema bakit my mistress cla

[DianeShishio]

Good heavens, we should seriously rename this thread as "Rationalizations of a Mistress".

This is just sickening. 

[vainmom]

Ang sabi ko goal,nOt rule. Wag natin kuyugin mga mistress na nagpost dito. Gusto natin malaman sa kanila what mostly sinasabi ng husband sa kanila at bakit naghahanap pa sa iba

[katrinac]

Hello mga sis, medyo nagiging hot na itong thread na ito ah. Makikisali narin ako, and i'm going to spill the beans. hehe! Ayaw ko na sanang ikwento to, kasi gusto ko na talaga makalimutan, pero sana makatulong ito sa iba.

Una sa lahat, happily married na ako and lahat ng past ko eh alam ng asawa ko.  Share ko lang:

Dati may nakilala ako na guy, he was one of the instructors, and out of 100 plus girls sa room na yun, eh itong guy na ito, inapproach ako and asked for my number. since single naman ako that time, okay lang sakin. We texted for months, hanggang sa nag date kami, and eventually naging kami. What's odd lang talaga is every weekends hindi sya makapag text sakin kahit gabi. Andun na yung evidence, but since happy ako sa guy naman, and halos everyday sinusundo nya ako and nagkikita kami (maliban lang weekends), okay lang. yung set up na yun, okay lang sakin, never kong inisip na may "iba" sya. Papalit palit din sya ng number. And kapag magkasama kami, never nya nilabas yung cellphone nya.

Fast forward, New Year year 2006 ata, may nagtext sakin number lang sabi "Stop flirting with my husband". Nanlamig talaga ako, eh wala akong kaalam alam eh yun naman pala, yung guy na yun eh kasal na!, ang matindi pa dyan, may 7 year old son na sila. eekkk!

So eto na, nakipagkita ako sa guy, hinuli ko sya and asked him kung sino yung nagtext, syempre umamin sya, huli na sya eh. he apologized and asked if we could still see each other. Ito yung mga bu***h*t na mga reasons nya kung bakit daw di nya inamin:

1. Natatakot syang mawala ako kapag inamin nya na kasal na sya
2. Di na sya masaya sa asawa nya, kasi lagi daw syang inaaway. Walang ginawa kundi manumbat.
3. Na pikot lang daw sya
4. Numero unong nagger daw si wife nya. Di na daw sya yung dating "asawa" nya.
5. di na daw nya mahal talaga eh.
6. Di na daw sya inaasikaso ng asawa nya. Mas masaya daw sya kapag kasama nya ako (or baka dahil mas bata ako)
7. On going na daw yung process ng annullment nilang magasawa, so magiging happy ending din daw kami. (Ako naman si eng- eng, napaniwala ako)

WTH. Kung siguro nasa tamang pagiisip ako nung mga panahon na yun eh kinausap ko sya ng maayos, or sinabihan na wala syang bal*s. AND SINCE blinded ako ng LOVE daw kuno (which I don't think eh Love nga that time, malay ko ba sa love that time), pumayag ako. So ayun, since ako si tatanga t****, naging kami parin. Though deep inside, sobrang guilty ako, kasi alam ko nga may asawa sya. pero yung PRIDE? na feeling ko, mas mahal ako ng lalake kesa sa asawa nya, eh ANDUN. feeling ko ang yabang ko that time. 

Fast forward ulit, since mahilig ako mag stalk ng mga account nya, nakita ko yung REAL friendster (friendster pa uso nun) account ng guy. Then nahanap ko dun yung wife nya. and dun ko nakita, na sobrang happy naman nila sa pictures, AS IN. And since, pakielamera ako, nakuha ko yung number ng wife ng misis nya sa CP ng guy. minemorize ko dali dali, parang naaaninag ko, then tinext ko yung wife. Nag panggap ako na ako si "Cathy", eh nagka taon, may kakilala pala yung wife nya na Cathy.  so nag text text kami. And dun ko nanaman nahuli na may movie date daw sila ng asawa nya (which is yung guy), then may second honeymoon daw sila ulit. Then naisip ko, that's it. Ayoko na.

So sa mga mistress/ or may ka affair, kapag sinabi sa inyo ng lalaki na kesyo di na sila masaya dun sa wife nya, or ayaw na nya, wag maniwala agad. Nagdadahilan lang yan, para makapangaliwa.

Then natauhan ako, sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayaw ko gawin sakin yun ng asawa ko. Ayaw ko masunog kaluluwa ko pag namatay ako. Kinausap ko sya, sabi ko ayaw ko na. Ayusin nalang nya yung pamilya nya, ayusin nya relationship nya sa asawa nya at sa anak nya. yung attention na binibigay nya sakin eh dun nalang sa asawa nya, hanggat di pa huli ang lahat.

Ending, pumayag din sya makipag hiwalay sakin. Pero nung nakipaghiwalay na kami, maya't maya parin nya ako kinukulit. Sabi ko ayaw ko na talaga. Tama na yung pangloloko na ginagawa nya sa asawa nya at sa anak nya. Itama nalang nya ang mali nya. Nagpalit ako lahat ng number/email, para di na nya ako macontact (kaso eto nahanap nanaman nya ako sa FB) ginawa ko binlock ko sya. hehe!

Tama ang iba, kapag ikaw ang "mistress" nasa defensive side ka. Naalala ko pa nga, sabi ng mga kasamahan ko dati, hiwalayan ko na yun. Pero ako sabi ko, ayoko, mahal ko yung tao. Pero mali yun. Laki nalang pasasalamat ko eh nakawala ako dun. Lagi ko sinasabi sa sarili ko, ang mga mistress never maiintindihan yan ng mga wife or mga ibang tao. Dumaan din ako sa stage na yun. But since blinded by love nga sila, akala nila tama. Pero sa mata ng ibang tao, mali naman talaga.

[vainmom]

Pero bakit kaya kahit happily married na sila,naghahanap pa din ng iba?nagsasawa na sila sa wife nila kaya gusto din ng iba ulam?

[DianeShishio]

Dapat dito wala magbibigay ng advices.aware naman yung mistress na mali ginagawa nya.lam din niya ang kawawa talaga yung mga bata.di ba ang goal naman ng thread na ito is to know what the mistress think, feel and make her decide to have a relaitionship with married man.hindi ito thread para pagsabihan sila. The experiences and their ways that they will share will help us mga wife para aware tayo ano dapat natin gawin para hindi maghanap ng iba mga husband natin.aminin natin,minsan nasa atin talaga problema bakit my mistress cla

Ang sabi ko goal,nOt rule. Wag natin kuyugin mga mistress na nagpost dito. Gusto natin malaman sa kanila what mostly sinasabi ng husband sa kanila at bakit naghahanap pa sa iba

I stand corrected on my last post... perhaps we shall call this thread "Enabling Mistresses".

Most of the veteran and experienced GTalkers here have given their two-cents without directly pelting rocks at the mistresses who have openly admitted to being mistresses.

Despite the equally polite and receptive responses of these mistresses, you can still see how delusional they are. Every single post drags on and on about "hindi niyo kasi naiintindihan..." and "...if you were only our place."

Mistresses - IMO though not solely responsible for extra-marital affairs - are selfish and disrespectful of family values and worse, they do not feel accountable for their actions.

Tell me now, hindi ba talaga dapat sila pagsabihan?

[jainacute]

Pero bakit kaya kahit happily married na sila,naghahanap pa din ng iba?nagsasawa na sila sa wife nila kaya gusto din ng iba ulam?

kasalanan din nating girls yan, observahan ninyo iyong mga married guys na nagbeerhouse mostly lagi sila nagaaway nung misis niya, kaya si lalake walang mapagkwentuhan na iba kaya si GRO na lang.

corny nung guy pag nagkwento ng family problem sa barkada.

[vainmom]

Kung mapapansin mo kasi post nila,sinasabi nila aware sila mali sila.point ko lang sis wag natin sila kuyugin.start kasi sa advices then sa bandang huli nagagalit na tayo.my point is, para malaman natin talaga bakit my mistresses.what sinasabi mostly ng mga guys bakit naghahanap pa din.di ko naman sinabi suportahan natin sila at encourage na pagpatuloy pa nila.nakuha nyo ba point ko mga sis?mostly kasi mga lalaki di nila sinasabi sa mga wife nila bakit sila nangaliwa.parati sinasabi "sorry, it wont happen again"

[katrinac]

vainmom - most likely, passing fancy lang talaga sis. Or pwedeng, gusto lang nila nag panibagong adventure? Or nagsasawa? Well ang mga lalaki naman kasi, hindi naman talaga aamin yan. Pero based dun sa nabanggit dati - ang dahilan nya, di na daw sya ganun kasaya sa wife nya. Pwedeng oo, pwedeng hindi. Pero ako sa pictures ko lang nakita yun. Mukhang okay naman sila ng wife nya. Or nasa nature na talaga ng mga lalaki yun.

Tingin ko, dapat lang mapagsabihan ang mga mistresses pero wag kuyugin. tipong payong kapwa babae. Pero we should take note, na kahit anong sabihin natin, nasa kanila parin ang decision. Di nila tayo maiintindihan, unless matauhan nalang sila. (Ganun kasi ako dati), kahit anong kuda sakin ng ibang tao, deadma ako. pasok dito, labas dun. Dadating din sa point na marealize nila. Yun nga lang, sana wag too late.

Remember, ang mga lalaki, di nila sasabihan kung bakit sila nanloko. Well, kahit nga mahuli na sila ng harap harapan, i dedeny padin nila yan, at tayo pa ang sisisihin. Basta ang gawin nalang nating mga misis, kung ano tayo dati nung nililigawan nila tayo, dapat ganun parin. Wag tayo magbago, dapat for the better. Unfair kung sa unfair, kasi bakit tayo ang lagi gagawa ng way para di mangloko ang mga asawa natin.

Nakalimutan ko sabihin, usually kasi kapag mistress, andyan yung wala masyadong problema. Wala masyadong iniisip, unlike kapag uwi nila ng bahay, dyan papasok yung problem na naman pagdating sa finances, buhay mag asawa, kaya minsan feeling ng mga lalake, kapag nakahanap sila ng ibang babae na feeling nila wala silang problema pag kasama nila yun, dun pumapasok yung pangloloko nila.