Romantico - bilang nakakatanda, you should have known better. The problem lang, kahit anong sabihin mo siguro sa GF mo, sarado ang isip nya. Between the two of you, ikaw dapat nagpapangaral sa kanya and hindi yung makikinig sa kanya or sa sinasabi nya. Because it seems her thoughts are not stable pa which shows her immaturity.
Nung sinagot ka ng GF mo at nararamdaman mo na may pag aalangan sya, you could have asked some space for her to "think" about the situation. Kung nagbago isip nya, she can contact you again, that is, kung available ka pa. Pero kung tingin nya, lagi ka nyang ikahihiya, best to separate ways.
Masakit lang because nagkakasundo naman kami despite the age gap at 90% of our arguments ay dahil lang sa pagbaliwala sa akin kapag umiral hesitations niya.
Puedeng pagbabalewala for you, pero baka para sa kanya, hindi. Unless sumang ayon sya sa yo na binabale wala ka talaga nya. Or is it something like ayaw nya aminin but her actions speak louder than her explanations?
I can't help myself from telling her that ginawa lang niya akong practice/trial & error/pampalipas oras na boyfriend dahil hindi man lang niya ako makuhang mahalin sa lahat ng ginawa ko from sa ligaw at nung nasa relationship kami.
Hindi mo matuturuan ang puso. She does not owe you her love just because you did things for her.
Magkaiba kasi kayo ng generation. Yung generation kasi ata ngayon ginagawa ang GF/BF stage as getting-to-know stage. Samantalang the wiser generation, ang getting to know stage ang panliligaw, dating, asking questions/background, knowing the personality of the other person, etc.
I hate it when she said I'm the type of guy whom she and other girls would ever wanted. I asked her why pa niya pinatagal at pinahirapan ako kung from the start alam na niya ang age ko at age gap namin. She tried giving it a chance daw pero I think she's just pulling my leg because how can she give the relationship a chance when from the start (according to her) she had put a barrier already para hindi daw siya maattach at di mahirap kumalas. Todo deny siya that she made me a practice boyfriend and insisted that she love me kaya niya ako sinagot. I never imagine sa panahon ngayon ay may ganon pa rin tao na magpapaligaw tapos hindi naman pala kayang panindigan lalo na she's smart, mukhang mabait naman, may pinagaralan and have a good heart pero hindi man lang niya inivaluate ako sa 4 months na nanligaw ako. I feel 4 months is more than enough time to evaluate the situation especially super gulat niya after learning of my age on the 1st date.
Sa storya mo, hindi nya pinatagal. Ikaw ang nagpatagal at pumapayag ka naman kasi na paikutin nya. Nung nag umpisa palang kayo, ang dami nang advices dito na nasabi na she is no good for you, ikaw ang nagpumilit. And yet ngayon, sya ang sisisihin mo. Especially knowing ang age gap ninyo, you should have known better because ikaw ang nakakatanda and you were supposed to be the wiser one.
Sabi mo hindi ka nya inevaluate sa 4 months ka nanligaw. Pero nung sinagot ka nya, you were happy and accepted it as SINAGOT KA NYA. Kung alam mong hindi nya ikaw inevaluate nang husto, sana pinagsabihan mo rin sya kung sigurado ba sya, helped her clear her mind and understand her thoughts, her requirements (if any), her criteria for a BF/husband. Did you align expectations with her nung sinagot ka nya? Ano ang responsibilities ng GF/BF with each other - at nag agree ba kayo? Sayo, 4 months is enough for you to evaluate her, pero sa kanya, mukhang di nag-e-evaluate but just going with the flow. And I think it is because she is not mature enough to look at things that way pa, unless may magsasabi sa kanya (na pakikinggan nya) at mag-o-offer ng framework for her to fully evaluate the situation.
I think hindi fair na GF ang sisihin mo sa heartbreak mo. You are partly to blame as well.
I can't believe when she told me, bigla niyang narealized na di pala niya kaya age ko. Also, I don't understand kung bakit bigla nag against magulang niya sa age ko samantala nung nanliligaw palang ako ay nakkwento na niya ako sa magulang niya and her parents were even joking daw na baka may asawa na ako. Ang palusot niya ngayon, hindi daw ineexpect ng magulang niya na sasagutin ako. I think that would be irresponsible sa part ng magulang because for a loving parents they wouldn't take risk so if they don't want their daughter ending up with an older guy then they should have stop her from seeing me kaya I think she's just making excuses already.
So hindi lang pala si GF sinisisi mo, mga magulang din nya. Well, in this case naman kasi, you have to realize, nung sinabi nya "nabigla" sya, eh baka nga totoo. Kasi sa dreams nya ok lang. Pero nung naharap na sya sa situation na magkasama kayo at nakikita ng friends nya, hindi nya kaya. This is a sign of immaturity on her part, at hindi pa nga ganun ka stable ang mindset nya/decision making. You have to understand hindi kayo magka edad and it seems for her everything is just not as serious as you picture things to be.
Masakit rin because I think napaka babaw ng age gap reason especially marami na rin success stories nowadays.
Success stories are due to the maturity of the 2 individuals, kahit malayo pa man ang age gap nila. Sa inyo, malayo nanga ang age gap, the girl is not mature enough to cope pa. So hindi talaga kayo swak for each other.
Hindi mababaw ang reason na age gap. For me it is an important ingredient in finding a life partner. Kung may id-date sayo na 20 years older sayo, papayag ka ba? I doubt. So there.
I still hope and pray for her change of heart because I believe na kapag natanggap niya finally age ko and the gap ay magiging ok ang lahat. Kaya lang baka hanggang hope nalang ako kasi kung sa 8 months namin magkakilala including close to 4 months in the relationship ay di niya sinubukan tanggapin ako in spite sa mga ginagawa ko sa kanya then malamang hopeless na rin ito. Only a miracle will help me right now. I guess sa mga nagsabing ang first boyfriend ay practice boyfriend then malamang ganon nga nangyari sad to say.
Don't you get it?
It is not only the age gap. It is the immaturity of the girl, on how both of you view things differently. In fact, this age issue is just a symptom of a deeper issue between you. Oras na may pumutok na issue, magulang, friends nya, etc hindi kayo magkakasundo parin.
Worse, sarado ang utak nya and you cannot convince her no matter what. You see, if she is not mature enough, kahit pa hindi nya alam, she can listen to you and be open minded. And if you are also good enough for her, you could have given her advices din. Nakita ko iyan sa mga relationships na may age gap. They "listen" to each other and share the same understanding. Sa inyo, wala iyan. So kahit pa masolve ninyo ang issue ng age gap, sorry to say, hindi parin mag-w-work ang relationship ninyo.
Thanks. Until now I can't stop thinking what happened and what hit me. If I were to rely on my gut feel then I think she never love me kahit na she keep insisting it.
Well, love can be relative. Puede para sayo iyan. Pero para sa kanya, she never lifted a finger for anyone, pero sayo may nagawa sya na hindi nya normally ginagawa for others.
Age has probably been a factor as well pero mahirap lang tanggapin because I have been honest about it from the very beginning. I'm still hopeful for a miracle and I told her that.
Sabi mo hindi ka nya minahal and still you are hopeful?
Sya sinisisi mo and now you are hopeful for what?
@cecilydee - Speaking of marriage, she led me to believe from the beginning that she's not ready for marriage hence I promised her I won't rush her. Pero lately, few weeks before the break up, she agreed that she might include me on her plans in life as well as get married kahit pa next year kung magkasing age lang kami ngayon and that hurt a lot because she's open to marriage all along. She said paulit ulit bumabalik yung hesitations niya dahil sa age ko kaya paulit ulit rin kami nagkaka problema.
Alam mo bro, with how she has agreed to be your GF then ikahihiya ka. Then now claiming na open sya sa marriage, naniniwala ka pa sa statement na iyan?
Kasi sakin, the moment na pumayag sya maging GF mo, and yet hesitant pala all along - it only reflects either of 2 things. She is a player OR you just cannot trust her words. Puedeng iyan ang nararamdaman nya ngayon kaya nya sinasabi. Pero bukas, puedeng hindi na. So lumalabas ang pag ka unreliable ng mga statements and actions nya - and para sa mga taong ganyan, mapa lalaki man o babae, it will be hard to establish a relationship, more so maintain one.
Sana may natutunan ka sa relasyon na ito. Next time, be wiser. At kapag ikakasal na, be more wiser pa!