Dapat ba mahiya ka sa husband mo na wala ka trabaho???

[ankyneMD]

im planning kasi to resign para matutukan ko daughter namin sa pag-aalaga.. When she was a kinder kasi 3rd honorable lang siya. Minsan ko lang kasi siya natututukan sa mga lesson niya dahil sa nagwowork nga ako. At ngayong prep na siya syempre gusto ko on top ang daughter ko, at alam kong capable naman siya, kailangan lang talaga ng mother support. Good provider naman si hubby at alam kong makakaraos kami kahit siya na lang ang kumikita. Kaya lang naiisip ko din na baka one day sumbatan na ako ni hubby dahil nga hindi na ako nakakatulong sakanya financially.. Kasi sa simula pa lang ng pagsasama namin magkahati na kami sa mga gastusin. Naisip ko rin magbusiness para sana kahit nandito sa house kumikita pa din ako at natututukan ko pa anak namin. Kaya lang feeling ko naman hindi ako marunong maghandle ng business. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko mga sis. Sa mga mommies na nasa bahay lang please enlighten me. At sa mga working mom na katulad ko, need your opinion also.

[mslcgrey]

^^ sis, as long as financially kaya nyo naman with just one person earning for the family then it is okay for you to stop working and concentrate on taking care of your kid. of course, ask mo rin ang opinion ng hubby mo about this set-up. pwede ka naman mag-small business or mag-online job para kahit paano you are contributing financially.

just a little concern about your reason why you want to stop working. any good parent naman talaga eh gusto na nasa top ang kid nila especially sa school. based sa kwento mo, nasa honor roll naman ang kid mo. so it means may hilig talaga siya sa pag-aaral and hindi naman niya napapabayaan. of course there will always be room for improvement. but, baka naman ma-pressure ang kid mo na kailangan nasa top siya. and if she is not, she will disappoint you.

so yun lang. it is good that you want your daughter to achieve what she can but suggestion ko lang, don't pressure her too much.

[glamorosa_09]

Personally, I have no issues on being a stay at home  plus pinag-aaral pa ako ng husband ko ng masters ko to pursue my dreams (for as long as mas priority ko pa rin ang family ko).

So it depends on your values and your husband's. Kung magkatugma kayo ng values, that is to raise a healthy child ((physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) as jonduh put it, then why not. When your husband tells you na "ok lang", then take it as that, hindi naman mahilig sa implied meanings ang mga lalaki unlike women.

At the end of the day, your shared values with your husband is what matters most, at kung anong mas makabubuti sa family nyo (in your own views). Kung mas value ninyo ang high kind of lifestyle, then yun ang values ninyo, and no one can dictate on you about that.

And I agree with mslcgrey, maganda naman yung intention mo for your kid, pero mas maganda sigurong values na iin-still sa anak naten is to work hard, do their best and enjoy whatever they are doing, nakakapressure kasi iyon sa bata na dapat laging number 1 sila. There is one kid na ayaw nang pumasok sa school dahil na-pepressure sa magulang.

[eekai]

You need to talk about it and weigh the pros and cons.   If you both agree that you quitting your job is what's best for your child and for your family, then problem solved.

If you are not maluho and if your hubby earns enough for you to live comfortably, then i guess it is okay.  Surely there will be sacrifices to be made.

I stopped working 3 months ago because our daughter doesn't like being with the yaya. It was too much stress for our kid and for us na din. I plan to go back to work early next year naman.

[Girltalker2]

Coming from a broken marriage, I cannot help but think of the worse things possible to protect oneself.  I for one am not for the arrangement na guy lang ang kumikita, especially if his salary does not go directly to you.  and most especially, with the kind of environment we have in Manila (daming tempatations at babaeng malalandi na pumapatol sa mga may asawa).

So para sakin, if the guy is working and the wife is a SAHM, dapat alam ng wife ang sweldo and everything, kasi magkaakibat parin sila at hindi lang si "guy" ang kumikita since the wife helps him make his life orderly as well. Payroll and bonuses should all go to the wife and both should decide on how they are to spend on the money, at hindi lang ang guy ang may say.

For me, the ideal set up is both are working, while both are also responsible for the child's well being and maintaining the house, hindi lang yung babae.

As for business, I always believed mas matrabaho magkaron ng biz kesa magwork sa labas. Baka ang kelangan mo lang is tutor para mas ma guide lang ang daughter mo.

Question ko rin - does your husband agree you to stop working?  Just make sure you agree at walang tension or wala syang issues about it. Kasi once magka tension, wala kang choice but to comply with him (especially kung hindi sya open minded and always want his way). He has the money and you don't. Wala kang kalaban laban.

[lisse]

For me, the ideal set up is both are working, while both are also responsible for the child's well being and maintaining the house, hindi lang yung babae.

As for business, I always believed mas matrabaho magkaron ng biz kesa magwork sa labas. Baka ang kelangan mo lang is tutor para mas ma guide lang ang daughter mo.

I agree. It's not really a good idea na ang wife is left to be totally dependent sa hubby when it comes to financial aspects. Mahirap na. We can never tell the future. It's not only for the wife's security and well-being, but that of their kid/s as well. Just in case the marriage's boat got rocked, the wife is empowered enough to be able to move out from the "boat", live well with the kids without having to rely sa husband. Most wives I know kasi hindi man lang maka-hindi or makaalis sa marriage, even for a short break lang ba, because they are totally dependent sa husbands nila. And it's too late for them to start all over again on their own. Maybe not really impossible or too late, but will be very hard to do so.
So yeah, I'm all for equal opportunities. Both work, both have equal contribution to the rearing and caring of the kids, and the wife makes sure that her and her kids' rights and interests are well-protected.

[glamorosa_09]

LOL Napunta na sa marriage separation ang usapan, but I guess hindi naman mawawala yan pag ganyan ang topic, and it's still a good point to add.

But being in a counseling volunteer work, I've realized that women can't go out of their toxic/abusive marriages not because they are financially dependent, but because they are EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT. Some wives sila pa ang bumubuhay sa husband nila. They're just making excuses why they can't, it's just that they won't.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

I totally agree with you sis about wives not leaving their useless, abusive, cheating, etc. husbands because of EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE! I know some women who are like this. If it's just about the money, makakahanap naman ng work pero yong husband talaga ang hindi maiwan. May statement pa na para di mawalan ng ama ang mga anak.

Sorry OT...

[Girltalker2]

I was in the situation before whereby I was emotionally dependent with my ex but I earn my own income. How did I keep myself sane while still cannot leave (due to emotional dependence)?  Shopping, parlor, spa and travel.  Not to mention counseling, further education, gym.  Tapos more activities din for the kids.  All needed money.  My friends also said I maintained myself well, until I got the courage to leave him.  After leaving him,  I still have money for myself and my kids.  Still living the life now ---  traveling, spa, shopping; but this time with a BF. 

I was able to overcome my emotional dependence through short term happiness aided by money, until I found myself whole again to leave the *sshole.

[glamorosa_09]

@girltalker

your point well taken sis. You mentioned before that it took you 10 years to leave because of emotional dependence, still it's good that for that length of time, you were able to take care of yourself and finally got the courage to leave.

But you didn't buy the will and courage with your money, it came from within. Even though you have millions in the bank, if you don't want to leave and choose to be blind by your husband's abuse, then you won't leave.

Anyways, as for the case of leaving an abusive husband, pag gusto maraming paraan,pag ayaw maraming dahilan. May mga taong mahina ang loob who believe they can't do anything to help themselves (learned helplessness), and there are those who believe they can influence and improve their situations. People navigate through life differently.

Why am I posting such things? Maybe I'm just defending that SAHM's by choice are not helpless people, LOL!

ang OT... but nice discussion. Sorry thread starter.

@jonduh

ganyan talaga ang mga babae, kung san san napupunta ang usapan...

@thread

To add, n our couples community, there were husbands ma kumakayod talaga ng todo para maging SAHM ang wife nila, these men believe na iba pa rin kung mother ang magpapalaki sa anak. And as for me, kahit first 6-7years of the kids' life na tutok ang mother, ok na, psychologically speaking this stage is the most critical in a person's life, nandito yung maraming major life issues.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Maybe because nowadays it is no longer practical that only one person in a  family is the source of income. Unless kung sobrang laki ng sweldo nung kumikita na yon.

TS should really talk to her husband that she wants to do this and explain to him the benefits of her being a SAHM. Para sa anak din naman yon.

[Girltalker2]

@ jonduh - hindi dapat mahiya ang SAHM. period. Unless hinihiya sya ng husband nya, so ibang usapan na iyon. Being a SAHM I believe should always be a joint decision between the couple. Hindi lang isa ang nagdedecide at yung isa napipilitan. Worse if it does not work out, dapat walang sisihan.  Kung working kasi ang isa, especially these days, di natin masabi minsan ang retrenchment, etc.  Mas practical nga lang siguro kung dalawa ang nagwo-work, at least it alleviates the financial burden from one spouse, para nas spread yung risk kahit papano.

I once talked to a friend na naging SAHM and working now ngayon.  Sabi nya, iba rin daw talaga ang feeling kapag may work sya.  Feeling nya mas respected daw sya. Kasi nung SAHM sya, pag tinanong ng tao anong work nya, sasabihin nya SAHM, then end of conversation na.  But this is just based on my friend's experience.  May iba naman mas enjoy sila sa SAHM kasi gusto nila pagsilbihan at ipagluto ang asawa nila at mga anak.  I  know of a SAHM din na feeling nya kung nagwork sya, she won't have enough quality time with her family, thus, baka nagstray daw hubby nya.

Case to case.

@glamorosa - I agree with you.  Hindi mo mabibili ang guts to leave your other half.  But you can sort of "train" yourself if it is not in you.  Let's face it, hindi tayo lahat pinanganak ng matapang. I for one, can admit na hindi ako pinalaki ng magulang ko na maging matapang. Lagi nila akong shineshelter.  But it is only through life's experiences where I did not have a choice did I learn how to fight for what's rightfully mine.  And I don't think I would have survived if I did not have the money. (hehe pera na na naman).  And I also don't think I would have realized it if I did not have the money at baka naburo nalang ako sa bahay. I went out and searched for answers until I found it. Di ako makakalabas kung wala akong pera.

And you are also right, kung ayaw maraming dahilan, kung gusto maraming paraan.

But my advise lang din kasi kay TS, is be wary. Ang daming lalaking nangangaliwa, kung wala kang sariling mong savings at trabaho na sarili mo, hindi ba mas nakakaiyak?  My theory is living in Pinas, is 9 out of 10 na na lalaki nangangaliwa one way or the other, be it flings, flirting, one night stand to having mistresses. Pero it is just me. Ako lang naman nag iisip nyan.

And I agree with mslcgrey, maganda naman yung intention mo for your kid, pero mas maganda sigurong values na iin-still sa anak naten is to work hard, do their best and enjoy whatever they are doing, nakakapressure kasi iyon sa bata na dapat laging number 1 sila. There is one kid na ayaw nang pumasok sa school dahil na-pepressure sa magulang.

Oo nga, worse if siguro what if you resigned to be a SAHM para nasa honor roll anak mo pero your kid still did not get into the honor roll?  How would you feel? 

[glamorosa_09]

@ Jonduh

That's a good question, if she will be counseled, most probably the first question for her would be, "[textspeak!]-ano ang mga dahilan kung bakit ka nahihiya sa husband mo na maging SAHM?" o kaya "anong dahilan bakit mo gustong maging SAHM?" Magandang i-explore nya sa sarili nya kung saan talaga nanggagaling yun at kung rational ba ang mga iyon.

Kung dahil lang gusto nyang laging number 1 anak nya, eh magandang i-correct nya yun or magwork na lang sya kesa ma-pressure ang bata.

As for nakakahiya sa husband, malay naten lumaki sya or ang husband nya sa family where both parents are working o may ugaling di maganda ang husband. Sya lang makaka-examine sa sarili nya.

Thanks for elaborating on the child's formative years, I couldn't agree more. Formative years is between 0-6 years old, other literature said from uterus to 5. Basta somewhere there.

@girltalker2

At least you were able to tap into the resources that you have, and with the parenting that you received, you still managed to find the end of your tunnel because of your will to find it using the financial resources that you have.

You are right not all people are born or shall I say, raised with healthy self-worth and healthy self-efficacy (a person’s belief in his or her ability to succeed in a particular situation that determines how she thinks, behaves, and feels). And it's good that money has served you well.

But other than money, other resources could be the family of origin, community and pagiging ma-diskarte sa buhay. Ngayon, kung wala yan lahat at abusive husband mo, eh siguro nga one needs to take care of oneself and the kids by saving and working if she is contemplating to leave. In the end, will and courage pa rin talaga to leave eh, kasi mag-eeffort ka talaga kung gusto mo umalis.

My theory is living in Pinas, is 9 out of 10 na na lalaki nangangaliwa one way or the other, be it flings, flirting, one night stand to having mistresses. Pero it is just me. Ako lang naman nag iisip nyan.

Like what you said, this is not from any statistical study ano, so ito yung personal observation mo. There are men who committed infidelity only once in their life, but it's not a reason agad to leave, unless sumama na sa babae. Yung habitual ang pangangaliwa at pagfiflirt, na walang awa sa sakit ng asawa, ito yung kailangang iwanan, kaya lang bf-gf pa lang, nakikita na nang iba to, pinakasalan pa rin eh.

@thread

Most women I know who used to be SAHM's didn't stay as one forever. Of course there will come a time na your child will have peers, activities and interests of her own na hindi na nakaikot sa mother ang mundo nya. And this is the time where the mother has all the rest of her life to pursue whatever she wants. Pero kung 10 ang anak, that I don't know, maybe WAHM.

[chinkywinky]

in my case, asawa ko ang nahihiya pa sa akin dahil I am working, lalo na pag minsan nasasabi ko na napapagod na ako. Dapat daw sya ang magtatrabaho kasi sya dapat ang bubuhay sa pamilya. Minsan sabi nya, mag-dalawa syang work para makahinto na ko, na ayaw ko naman at kawawa naman sya. Saka ayoko rin huminto at mag stay lang sa bahay, well wala naman kasi kaming anak kaya madaling mag-decide ng ganito. Pero for stability purpose, mas ayos talaga kung pareho kayong nagtatrabaho para mas madali ang buhay. Pero depende pa rin sa perspective ng husband mo syempre, saka kung may mga anak kayong iniisip.

[aquacharly]

IMO, the issue goes beyond "hiya"

I agree with GIRLTALKER2.

Hereunder are "my opinions".  No judgment, no "bullying", nothing personal.

1st.  Propelling a child to the No.1 slot isn't enough to make a life  career of.
A woman must advance herself too as the best wife she can be, as well as advance her Self.
Think inwards with honesty:  Is it really your kid -- or are you just tired of working, or feeling your career is going nowhere?

2nd.   Never assume anything. 
Just because your hubby earns more than enough, & forks over his funds with a smile, that it will be so forever.  He too has other dreams, he too gets tired.
So best to discuss over some time life-changing decisions that will impact not just your life.

3rd. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket.
He can drop dead, lose  his job/business, turn his back on you.
Never say never, some things are not within our control.

4th. Be realistic in your problem-solving or decision-making.
As GIRLTALKER2 correctly cited: business is more demanding than employment (unless your concept of business is just as a sideline or sari sari store)
So, if establishing  & running a business pulls up a hazy mental picture & doubts --  do not consider that in your current decision-making. Stick to case facts.
Though you can develop that over time, later on when you are psychologically prepped to commit to a business

5th.  Consider/develop Other Options to reach your objective.    There is always more than 1 way to skin a cat.  Do not pounce on A Solution until you've considered other realistic options. 
People who have better lives are those who generate options and choose the best. They do not think of the world as just 2 choices: go vs stop, up vs down, black vs white, yes or no, etc etc.  Sucess goes to those who pick  the Right Choice out  of Multiple Choices.


I don't mean to judge others --  Live & Let die nga (my preference over trite Live & Let live... Hahaha)
Call me cynical, aggressive, kapalmukz... I don't give a sh1t.
But IMO, banking on another person for one's future security & happiness is the height of  ...... (Fill in the blanks, ayoko mabato. 0r get moderated...   You said it, not me. Hahaha)

I value the sacrifices, of the  previous generations of women I come from, that put me in a position to possess Self-Empowerment & Self-Definition.  I will never waste that.
True happiness is achievable only with Self-Empowerment & Self-Definition.
        My husband makes a lot, sobra sobra, modesty aside.  He lets me control most everything coz he wants his focus on generating more business.  I don't even ask, he gives.  But I gain better Self Definition & Self Worth being his business partner.  Spending somebody's money, IMO, isn't very challenging, self-fulfilling nor creative.
        My kids get my attention, and I care for them with the help of midwives/college-grad yayas & drivers.  I believe delegation gets more things done.  I believe more in giving them a realistic blueprint of how to be a good husband or a good wife without paying too high a price.  My sons must grow up with confidence to love a self-achieving wife. My daughter must believe everything she wants to be she can achieve, though married.  So, bilib na bilib ako I am the best mother for them.

Bottom line, I do not like being afraid.
Afraid that there may come a Curved Ball of Life --  and I have No Option  but to collapse & cry in a corner.
Afraid that someone steals My Life & I cannot keep My Life as beautiful --  worse, hindi ko mabanatan.   
             (According to my Lola: L1ntek lang walang ganti.)
Afraid of suffering, just suffering. Better to suffer in comfort, surrounded by the trappings of wealth.
Afraid of ever hearing from a child:  Hindi mo ko na tulungan sa mga pangarap ko. (And that goes beyond being Top of the class)

So, God willing... I continue with my Self-Empowerment & Self-Definition, and remain in His Graces.

Oooopz:forgot my Closing Statement:

       I will never stop working/doing business to earn my own money. 
       It goes beyond "hiya".



     
       

[bagaholic_chewy]

IMO, di dapat mahiya sa husband if tumigil ka magtrabaho, provided, your financial status as a family is stable (like, me savings and emergency fund kayo), and your husband is supportive of your decision. Another thing to consider is yung sa sarili mo - ready ka na ba talaga to give up things (work, own money, lunchouts with friends/officemates, etc) in order to stay at home? Are you ready psychologically and physically? Yes, you want to do those things for your daughter and husband, but the thing is, are you ready to do those things "routinely" for a long time? Di rin madali maging SAHM at maging parang all-around sa bahay..

Pwede ba ang sabbatical leave sa company nyo? If pwede, perhaps you can request for 3-6months to 1year sabbatical. Parang trial period mo maging SAHM. If it works for you, then tuloy mo na magresign. If it doesn't work for you, then you can go back to where you left off at work..

[aquacharly]

1.ayoko ng yaya. Wala ako tiwala sa yaya dahil nakikita ko yung mga anak ng friends ko na masama ang ugali dahil nga laki sa yaya. Hndi naman syempre didisiplinahin ng yaya yung bata in a nice way dahil hindi niya anak yun. Hinahayaan niya lang din na kung [textspeak!]-anong pagkain ang kainin ng bata. Kung ano gustong pagkain ng bata yun ang ibibigay niya. At pag ayaw ng bata kumain, hahayaan na lang niya. So syempre wala rin siya paki sa nutrition ng bata. Hindi ko nilalahat ng yaya pero bihira na talaga yung totoong may malasakit diba?

If you have a yaya, it doesn't mean you cop out on the care & upbringing of your kid.  It's just like being a good vs bad manager. You need to supervise, train, monitor & be on top of things. 
It isn't an issue of "malasakit" but of  the yaya doing her job consistently well.
A yaya is an employee, don't expect more than that.  You gotta  train and motivate her to do her job the way you want her to do it.  You have to manage her, not trust her -- employee nga eh.   But that's just my opinion, that's worked well for me so far. 

There is also a lot to be said for choosing the right yaya, and paying for a good or skillful one.  You can't make a swan out of a duck sabi nga, so not every maid can function as an effective yaya.  Generally, you get what you pay for.  Funny but contrary to your experience,  my family & friends have had good yaya experiences. The bad yaya story happens, but rarely.  So IMO, it's choosing well, training well & being on top of it all. 

I beg to disagree -- not all kids raised by yayas are masama ugali. Some kids raised by their own moms may have masama ugali too.  If it were such a simple equation, simple example:  eh di lahat ng poor raised by their own moms --  wala criminals sa kanila, wala barumbado, wala manloloko.    At lahat ng may yaya sa Forbes Park, eh delinquents or future bad citizens lahat yan.  .

[Dyewel]

Hindi ba pwedeng bawasan ang workload mo? May 8hr job din ako, but i make sure na matapos ko trabaho ko within office hrs to avoid overtime plus alam sa office na family day ang weekend.
Kasama din namin sa bahay si nanay, pero may yaya ang baby ko because i want my mom to have more freedom with her time. The first few months taga-bantay ng yaya si nanay pero ngayon may tiwala na. So far, ayos naman ugali/habits ng baby ko compare sa ibang kapitbahay na mommy kasama maghapon.
As being top 1 ng baby mo, hindi ba napaka-aga pa para maging conscious sa bagay na yon? Pano kung hindi nya ma-achieve goal mo, bka maging frustration para sa inyong dalawa.

[aquacharly]

^Yes   There are ways to achieve life-work balance & have it all.  You can prioritize both family & self.  A happy woman is a happy wife & mom. 

IMO, the risk with sabbaticals or not working for a couple of years --  you step out of the competitive line-up.  Sure, work is work but well... for others, work & pay isn't enough -- it's gotta be a career forever in advance with you preferably ahead of the majority.    Likewise, a business is seldom possible to put in the freezer.  That's why had I the inclination for it -- I would've chosen to be a doctor or dentist.  You can establish a clinic/practice, train alternatives & go on long vacations/leaves. When you decide to go back or go full-blast, you only need to update your specialization & you're back in business. 

Like DYEWEL, I just organize my day & do my best on all fronts, for all my life roles.
I am a businesswoman in a very competitive field.  I make quality time, for example:   I see my kids off to school, with the assistance of yayas & house staff.  As in, I have  time to talk to each kid & prep him/her for school with encouragement & positivity every day, coz I am not the one rushing to cook to put breakfast on the table, make baon, & rush the kid through his/her  morning toilette, or drive the kids to school. So chill lang and smiles & hugs & jokes sa breakfast table. During exam days -- I ride with them to school to further impress my concern &  involvement in their day.

They all go to our head office after school where we have a family room.  So, we have time for meals, & I get to look over their homeworks/project rqmnts.   I have brought kids and yayas along on some business meetings or project inspections.  We want our kids to become entrepreneurs. So, it is important they get the feel of what being in business is like.  They learn like for example,  By the age of  6 or 7, my kids know the concept of no voucher, no check; no support docus, no voucher; etc etc. They are able to differentiate the different levels of approvals & rqmnts for check payments thereof.  They can write out a check correctly, based on vouchers -- with all the periods, commas, caps in place correctly.  They develop a respectful professional demeanor towards all - including drivers, laborers, etc. 

It is a matter of stretching one's self to accommodate both family & career/business.  Sure, it's tiring.
But of course, others prefer a totally domestic life. More time for charities/hobbies/sports & other interests. Nothing wrong with that.  My mom chose that life -- no career, more of social life, concentration on my dad, her personal pursuits.  BUT she has her way of being financially dependent too. 

The important thing is -- a woman does not surrender an aspect of her self/life coz she thinks she can't do it all or do it all well. 
It can all be done, and be done well -- if you want it all.  Just don't go for perfection on all fronts -- that's gonna set you up for a lotta disappointment.  . 
Just be honest with yourself & go for whatever life you want.  Do not be shy, do not be pulled back.  Do not believe it can't be done with grace and success.  Just be honest that you don't use 1 role of your life as the excuse for giving up another role.  If you don't get satisfaction, you may unfairly blame others for your regrets later on. 

What am I trying to say? Never underestimate yourself. You can do as much as you want. 

[akthung]

here are my thoughts lang. i don't know what a male perspective or my personal perspective can help.

but i'll give it a shot lang.

1. Kids.

Kids will always be promising in school when they're young. But when they develop horns, it's all going to be different. My tita gave up a good job when her family first landed in north america to focus on her son, but the son didn't grow the way she initially envisioned. up to now, wala pa siyang nakikitang break na tulad nun. sayang.

what im trying to say here is, control has limits and it will not guarantee a good outcome.

2. Business.

working as a business person

i agree with the others, masakit sa ulo ang business. you work 24-7 ika nga. depende sa takbo. i personally had to run 2 businesses noon. grabe. sakit ulo. halos hindi na ako natutulog. pag nasamahan pa ng lawsuit. nako. you'd really need support. Single ako, so no other half to help me.  some of my friends did.

you see, ang pagnenegosyo, pag umabot ka na sa puntong napamahal na sa iyo, nakiliti ang puso mo, you'll want to see it grow.  you'd definitely treat it as a career. so you'll be busy. and if you have legal obligations, iba na yan. kung aasa ka sa non college graduates as employees, you will do all the thinking, even for the simplest of things.

transition from business to work.

what if you try to go back to working as an employee after x amount of years? problem with this scenario is, how will the company measure your skills and validate your achievements? sa dami dami ng bogus businesses and crooks sa pinas, i doubt companies will invest their time to validate everything you had done.

they will probably think the other way. pag malaki ang gap between your resignation date and your application date, baka kung ano ano isipin nila.  please do note that when we generalize, we acknowledge that there are exceptions. but we also have to objectively think if we are part of the exception or not.

so if you plan in taking a long absence, think and plan carefully.

iba na mundo ngayon.

3. Yaya

baka naman mahina yung yaya na ganun. you said na big earner naman husband mo. then i opine, spend on a good yaya.

4. Money is Power.

kung sino may pera. gov't. individuals. wife or husband. yun ang magdadala.

i don't know how enlightened your husband is, pero, pansin ko sa mga tao in general, habang tumatanada, hirap ka deal.  one might be open and understanding now, pero later pag mahirap na kausap. nako yari ka. even the small stuff, kahit yung mga basic needs mo, pwede niya i criticize and you can't do anything. why? pera niya eh.

now kung magloko siya or what. nasa awa ka pa din niya.

may kilala ako, the husband died at a young age. the wife cried for weeks. kasi she had no skills. mabuti na lang that time madali mag TNT. so she went to the US. TNT. married the first american to like her just to be legal, and just to be able to send stuff to her children. take note at that stage, she really wasn't attractive, kasi "napabayaan niya sarali niya" dahil sa comfort na bigay ng husband niya. being objective lang po.

4. Personal Growth.

Sis, madami akong kilala, including my mom, who became a housewife in 2007 (early retirement.) na nagiging mahirap ka relate dahil hindi na nag grogrow. ang mundo nagbabago. at dapat ikaw din but if you decide to stay lang sa bahay. make sure you're growing.  but to do that you have to go out. tsaka depende sa crowd. kung mga crowd lang din eh mga tambay. sorry. no growth. pag laki ng kids mo, there will be a gap. baka kainisan ka lang.

and to other husbands i've met who made their wives into housewives, nako, they had started to look at the women achievers. pano? nagka gap na eh. all the while they've been growing, pero yung wife,nasa bahay lang. pag malaki na ang gap, its like a boxing match between the educated and uneducated.

my mom, 2 Ph.d noon, wanting a third pa nga eh. pero since she became a housewife, parang tumanda ng paurong,


so take note lang, a lot of these people i've met, too late na. some of the positive remarks you can find out there, well, on the journey pa lang sila. for sure they'll try to be positive.

***

im not discouraging you. im just giving you points to ponder on.

in the end, it is your decision.