No Social Life

[kinkytinch]

Ganito nako ngayon. Maybe by choice. I'm not really sure. Feel ko kasi I only bring negativity sa barkada. I try not to talk about my problems but it always comes up. May it be through their "kumusta?" or "ano na bago sayo?" or "saan ka na nagwwork?". If I don't answer them truthfully, I feel like what's the point of talking to friends.. So, I don't arrange dinners or lunches anymore. Maybe they feel the same way about me. Di rin sila nagyayaya. One friend even accused me online thru a comment on my own (non-nega) FB post (a few years ago naman na) of being toxic. I can't handle my life right right now. It would've been sweeter, lighter if they were here.

[lonely_dad]

This is me. My world evolves around my work, house, family and hubby.
By choice, hindi na ko umaattend ng mga friend gatherings, sobrang pili na lang ang inooohan ko at sisiputin ko, those are the ones dearest to me.

parang ganito din ako ngayon

[xsugar]

sis kinkytinch, hindi naman siguro. if you think you need, tell them directly. sabi mo nga friends kayo so for sure maiintindihan ka nila.

minsan / madalas naman talaga ang dami nating hinaing sa buhay at di maiiwasan na pag friends ang kasama we tell them most. kasi nga friends mo so comfortable ka kahit ano pa sabihin mo. Harsh naman ng friend mo na nag comment ng toxic. Sana lang ni-pm ka na lang nya and ask if there's a problem. Anyway, move on na. We need friends or someone to talk to specially on times we feel alone and down. I found nothing wrong with airing /sharing how you feel be it bad or good.

This is me too since i got married. Office - bahay lang din ako. After office, masyado ng late para lumabas tapos ang layo pa ng biyahe ko. On weekends, bahay lang ako kasi wala naman ang friends sa place ng husband ko.i've been living there for more than a year pero ni hindi ko alam pasikot sikot I miss my friends and miss the things i used to do nung single pa ako..but i am happy naman with my husband. Minsan di lang talaga maiiwasan maalala ko sila.

[hushush]

Nalulungkot din ako minsan dahil unti unti na nagdisconnect sakin ang old friends ko..lalo na ang longtime friend ko.dunno.di na siguro kami magkaalign ng interest..syempre very successful na sya sa career nya.ako naman puro anak at family ang nasa isip ko..ganun talaga eh..mayron naman akong few new friends na kapitbahay pero nakakamiss din yun old friends ko. Iba talaga if you always go out with other momshies.ganun kasi ang lifestyle ko nuon nung malayo ang school ng panganay ko..pero yun bunso ko napapabayaan ko naman sa katulong..mas pinili kong walang katulong at walang momshie friends at mapalapit sa school ng mga anak ko..mas convenient ako sa gantong setup..syempre may pros at cons naman ang lahat ng choices natin...i just have to live with it..buti na lang may GT, kahit papano may nagiging friends akong iba kahit di ko sila nakikita...masayang malungkot.lalo nat malayo sa asawa..Hahuhahuha

[xsugar]

^^me too, i use instagram most of the time. Ako naman nagi-guilty kasi inaaya naman ako, umaayaw lang talaga kasi most of the time ang meeting place is malapit sa kanila dahil mostly are from manila, ako lang ata taga south luzon . I just browse sa FB for updates, some of them are bragging, yung iba hugot na di ko alam san galing..haha!

[airish_2]

^Naalala ko yung nangyari sa akin ganyan din kaso mga 9 years ago na yun nag upload ng picture ng kasal tas wala ako doon. Ang sabi bat wala ka dyan? haha! Pero hindi ko naman kaso talaga close yun aquaintance lang hindi rin ako ininvite.

[Shadow Angel]

Dami ko natutunan sa mga friendship na ganyan. Kaya Natutunan ko kung ano lang dapat share sa tao kahit ka close ko pa. Kapag alam ko hindi sila nakakarelate or magkaiba as much as possible i avoid na mag kwento ng sobra hindi rin ako ang tipo na nagtetell all ng mga problema. Issue minsan but not in full details and palagi. If single ang circle ko nagkwekwento ako ng ibang details ng married life so they will get inspired. Pero kapag same ko status na married na mahirap din mag kwento lalo na if ang status ko now sobrang happy na parang sa tingin nila over perfect un iba kasi magulo married life or un iba hiwalay sa asawa lalo na if magtatanong sila about how's my life na married na ako. If kwento mo how happy you are may mga side comments na sa umpisa lang yan. So ako naman ayaw ko mahaluan ng negativity kung ano meron ako ngayon if temporary man ito i want to enjoy it. Pero hindi ko sila iniiwasan ang ginagawa ko na lang hindi ako nagkwekwento nagsasabi lang ako ng ibang details if curious sila or nag ask something about sa amin mag asawa lalo nakikita nila kung gaano ako alagaan ng asawa ko. May mga struggles din kami mag asawa hindi man sa relationship namin dalawa pero sa ibang bagay like financial. Hindi man kami nag hihirap talaga pero may mga bagay na need namin pag ipunan at paghirapan talaga bago namin makuha. So parang if magkwento naman ako about sa ganun parang ang lalabas wala ako K magreklamo kasi nakikita naman nila ok status namin. Although hindi naman talaga ako nagrereklamo. Ang dami ko pa rin gusto makuha lalo na family binubuo namin ngayon mag asawa. Kaya nakakabuti ang mga ganitong forum dito ka makakapagshare na mga nasaisip ko lang aside from my husband. Sa fb hindi rin ako mashare. Hindi ko rin gusto sobrang open book if kilala ako mas gusto ko mag open as anonymous. Married life sobrang happy ako pero madalas ko naiisip parents ko kasi nasa malayo ako matanda na sila. Siguro ito lang ang isa sa nga bagay na minsan nagpapalungkot sa akin kahit na masaya ako. May mga araw na minsan gusto mo rin maka bonding family sa pinas. Sa ngayon hindi sila Ang priority ko lalo na ang umuwi para makasama sila. Sana someday magawa ko mga bagay na plan ko sa kanila na hindi naapektuhan family ko now.

[kinkytinch]

thank you sis xsugar sa comments mo. actually, i feel kinda guilty na rin minsan especially when i realize na paulit-ulit na lang shinare kong problems nuon. i couldn't get out of my problems kasi. kaya everytime we met, yun at yun pa rin.. it's like every succeeding dinner/lunch, it's the same old problem except my life is just into deeper sh*t. At some point, I can imagine, I annoyed them.

Inunfriend ko sa fb yung friend ko na yun because of that and she got hurt daw (accdg to another friend). i was extra offended kasi then because i was having trouble at work na nga, she commented that pa for all my officemates to see. Friends naman na ulit kami, we just dont meet anymore. the breakup wasnt forced though.

[Acetylcholine]

Hi, I stay at home for four months now, para may magbantay kay LO my LO is 17 month old, actually before this ayaw ko sana magstay sa home kasi nga medyo introvert ako. Kaso yung company namin ay nagbago ng management and owner which is umayaw din ako kasi iba na yung rules and regulation ako yung nag resign then nagstay mga kasama ko, biglaan kasi yung pagpapapalit ng owner kaya parang dun palang medyo nalungkot na ako kasi I want to stay to that company pero tadhana na rin kaya sabi ni hubby stay muna ako para mabantayan si baby.
For the past month nalungkot ako at sinasabi ko naman kay hubby, ngayon meron akong work online to keep me busy for the mean time kaso matatapos na rin yun project so ito na naman ako self pity.
   Because of this hindi ko na kinocontact yung mga dating workmates ko tapos yung mga friend ko din umiiwas ako sa pagaaaya nila ewan ko ba, kasi nga ayoko ng tanungin ako na kung ano ba yung work ko or bakit stay at home ako, ganito ako pag medyo matagal natago sa bahay kaya gusto ko sana naeexpose din ako sa tao how ironic kasi umiiwas ako pero gusto ko naman syempre na may kausap.   Bumababa ang self esteem ko.
      Iwas din ako magbukas ng social media account kasi ang makikita ko lang naman ay yung mga get together ng mga kakilala ko. I don't know if this normal at natatakot ako na lumalala, sana sa mga katulad ko na stay at home mom mapayuhan ako. Thanks!

[amethyst028]

Sa akin opposite. Si boyfriend yung walang social life. He's 47 and most of his closest friends are abroad. We see each other every weekend kaya pati tuloy ako di na nakakasama sa mga lakad ng friends. I can't bring him with me kasi parati namin kasama son niya.

Pag di kame magkikita that weekend i always make sure i invite my friends to go out para may girl time naman. Kaya lang he would be texting me the entire night and will stay up until i get home. Feeling ko pang bagets lang yung ganun. I went out with my friends and i want to enjoy my night with them. He gets clingy whenever i'm out with other people.

[naizlabonita]

I used to think na ganito yung partner ko.. 4 years na siyang work from home so akala ko wala siyang social life or madalang talaga kapag iniivite lang siya ng mga friends nya which is  madalang nga. Yun pala may social life siya sa mga masahistang my extra service haha. Since ngayon nalaman ko kalokohan nya balik na siya sa NO SOCIAL life dahil talagang nagwarla kame, well, kagagawan din naman nya yan kaya he deserves it. char! haha

Anyway, on my end, I have a lot of social life, nabawasan lang din talaga ngayon since nagkababy na..limited na talaga ang labas with friends..Pili nalang ang pinupuntahan or inaattendan ko at baka may masabi pa yung tatay ng anak ko.

[amethyst028]

-^hi sis. Hindi ata social life ang tawag dun. Sideline hehe! Narinig ko sa podcast about those massage na may extra service is harmless lang daw iyon. Gusto lang nila mag release and nothing more so they don't consider it cheating. Pero sa ating mga girls foul yan. Di siya acceptable talaga.

[mimiku]

I was once like this before. Well a little bit until now, but anyway, introvert kasi ako. I get easily drained whenever I am in a crowd. I also have a few friends. Sometimes, I'm envious of those people who can easily get chummy with anyone -kahit na kamemeet pa lang nila. Pero I've learned to accept who I am and get to maximize the perks of being alone. I would rather go with a close friend than with anybody. Mas ok yun. Less hassle and I can be myself.

[swtgrl_bee]

Sis naizlabonita, naloka naman ako sa kwento mo. 

[naizlabonita]

-^hi sis. Hindi ata social life ang tawag dun. Sideline hehe! Narinig ko sa podcast about those massage na may extra service is harmless lang daw iyon. Gusto lang nila mag release and nothing more so they don't consider it cheating. Pero sa ating mga girls foul yan. Di siya acceptable talaga.

Well turns out social life nya yun sis because naging ka chikahan nya ata or "friends" daw nya kuno yung mga masahista. "Baks" pa yung tawagan nila. Yung iba inaaya pa nya lumabas or sa labas ng spa..so I do not know kung harmless pa ba pag nasa labas na?! Pero yes, not acceptable ang gawain na un dahil technically it is prostitution and you are patronizing it kung nag aavail ka.

Ngayon wala na pinagbawal ko na lahat ng communication nya dun so I do not know san siya kumukuha ng SOCIAL life nya. hehe

Sis naizlabonita, naloka naman ako sa kwento mo. 

Ako din sis naloka ako sa sekreto nitong partner ko. Iyak tawa nalang ako. hahaha

[iluvescadasport]

Ito din problem ko ngayon, no social life. MInsan hindi ko alam if I brought it upon myself, or it's because introvert ako. One challenge kasi sa akin when high school mates or college mates invite me before, laging late (literally) dumadating kaya late natatapos. Hindi pa naman ako yun night person, so if I go out and go home late, cranky ako the next day kasi kulang tulog. Nung una, tinitiis ko. Afterwards, I slapped myself mentally. Bakit ko kailangan tiisin ang kulang ng tulog para lang sa ibang tao? It's affecting my health, my attitude and even my relationship sa family.

So ayun, I decided na iwas ako sa friends na laging hindi on time pag may meet (I honestly don't get the filipino time, people even take it as a joke. I see it as something bastos and disrespectful. If real emergency, understandable. But if "Traffic", it is stupidity). Pero alam naman nila. Sabi ko I can't meet kasi lagi late nagstart so late natatapos, work ko pa naman is typical 8-5pm. sila kasi flexi time.

Problem, feel ko I pushed everyone away. There are times I pity myself talaga and I felt so pathetic. I can't even eat korean bbq kasi wala ako mainvite na kasamang kumain. I can't even travel sa mga areas that require hiring the whole boat (e.g. kalanggaman island) kasi wala akong ka-share sa boat. That's also a reason why I deactivated my fb account kasi lagi ako nainggit sa posts ng iba.

Right now, I'm thinking of different ways to have social life. Kaso wala ako maisip talaga.

[amethyst028]

sa mga girls here na gusto ng new friends or people to hang out with try niyo meetup.com. they have meet up groups there for those who likes trying new restos, salsa dancing, traveling, out reach programs, business, for expats, etc bring a friend if you're scared to go alone.

my friend attends to a weekly event here for real estate investors. i went with her once ok siya masaya din kasi madami ako natutunan kaya lang it's too far from my place and 10am on a saturday. usually tulog pa ako niyan. hehe!

[cosmochick]

Ako rin I have no social life na primarily because im new here and I dont know anyone here. Im a stay at home wifey and no kids yet so Im getting bored. I just learned how to drive but still not confident to drive around the metro kasi I dont know the places around here.

Im an ambivert, so being alone all the time bores me to death. I want to make new friends. So anyone up for a coffee date? Hahahaha

[iluvescadasport]

Ako rin I have no social life na primarily because im new here and I dont know anyone here. Im a stay at home wifey and no kids yet so Im getting bored. I just learned how to drive but still not confident to drive around the metro kasi I dont know the places around here.

Im an ambivert, so being alone all the time bores me to death. I want to make new friends. So anyone up for a coffee date? Hahahaha

You are new sa Metro Manila or sa Philippines in general?

[Len0523]

I have no social life and I am loving it. I dont go out with friends nor relatives to be honest.
I only go out with my daughter & husband.
I dont feel comfortable going out without them both.

Funny, one time we went out of town. When we arrived at the hotel I wanted to sleep na agad. Hahaha. whats the point of going there? I should have just stayed at home right?

I can't sleep comfortably at my mom's house without my hubby with me.

I can only go out alone when I am shopping. Coz hubby is so choosy na hindi yan wag yan. Nahahassle ako natatagalan ending walang nabibili. Kaya ayun pag shopping lang ako solo.

Mind you, I still receives a lot if invitations from cousins, highschool friends, college friends, co worker to attend their wedding, to be ninang ng mga babies nila etc etc.