No Social Life

[mikewazowski]

Am I the only one having a hard time socializing?

I dont know, I am really socially awkward. I rarely approach anyone and start a conversation. Or when they talk to me, I cant think of anything to say. I want to fix this! I feel unwanted haha. I am not an emo, I love talking to people, pero pili lang.

Uhggggh... Bakit ganito?

[you_love_me]

Sis, I feel you. To be honest, sobrang konting tao na lang nakakausap dito sa work ko. Like you, I love talking din, pero sa mga piling tao lang. Minsan naiisip ko na nga maghanap ng bagong work. Para bagong environment, new people, baka sakaling mabalik ko yung pagiging sociable ko.

[chicafabulosa]

Maybe sis you are just more comfortable being alone. I was like that before. I cant find the words to say whenever I am around people. But later i told myself, i cant be always aloof. I need friends. So paunti unti i try to be more social. Like if im in a party and may katabi ako i ask him/her his name. Then papakilala lang ako. Now its up to you if you sense na friendly naman. Meron iba sense mo na agad na di ka feel. Now jf di ka feel then ignore mo na lang.


You can practice with friends mo muna. Or... Eto pang isang technique ko, whenever i shop or grocery ako unang nag gu good morning sa cashier. In this way naoovercome ko yung hiya factor. After than paunti unti naging open na ako.

Aminado naman ako mapili ako sa friends. Pero alam mo yung feeling na you know you can learn something from other people. So yun na lang nagmomotivate sa akin to open up. Plus malay mo you will gain new friends. Try mo maging open sa friends mo muna. Then paunti unti say sa acquaitance mo lang, maoovercome mo rin yan...

[you_love_me]

sis chicafabulosa, ako kasi madali ako ma-down like pag may in-approach ako tapos sinungitan ako or hindi nya ko feel. Feeling ko napapahiya ako kaya madalas nangyayari, kesa mapahiya ako, di na lang ako magta-try kausapin or maging friendly. 

[chicafabulosa]

I felt that way at furst sis. Naooffend ako madali. But of course I realized na i cannot please other people or force them to like me. But isnt it better because you've tried to reach out. Now its up to that person whether to reciprocate your friendliness or not. But you should learn not to take it against them. Kahit naman tayo di ba may times na kahit di pa namin kilala yung isang tao di na natin feel agad?

See you are scared immediately. You are being controlled of your own fear and that is REJECTION. well right now sis I can suggest is try to learn that there will come a time that you will be rejected. No matter how good you are, you will still be rejected. Not because they dont like you but because they have their mind who they will let them in their lives, you know what I mean? Everybody has their free will.

Overcome your fear of rejection. If di ka feel eh di wag at least no regret on your part na you did not try at all. And learn to relax around other people sis. Smile a lot.

[mikewazowski]

Woah, rare to find someone na almost same situation ko. Thanks for sharing

^nakakatawa ka naman, pang goodvibes

Constant rejection kasi nafeel ko, 5 years! Lagi ko tintry makipagusap pero ayaw nila, kahit teachers ayaw. I feel so alone nung high school total loser ako hayy Very sad kasi yung story ko lol. I have no good memories, full of BAD DECISIONS lang. not fixable. move on nalang ako sa buhay. Wala na nga nakakaalala sakin sa school, parang 'Sino?? Ayyy oo ying tahimik o kaya yung matangkad' yun labg memory ko sa kanila. Feeling ko pag tanda na namin, hindi na nila ako maalala (medyo emo haha)


Hindi ako ganito dati! Sobrang iba, nung naghs lang dun na nagsimula magiba panget ugali ko eh, siguro?


hindi ba weird na gusto natin nakikipag usap pero, bakit sa ibang tao parang we cant be ourself? Ano ba to, intimidated or pure insecure lang?

[pret_ty68]

Introvert rin ako sis like you. I prefer being alone, but I don't find it hard to talk to people sabi kasi nila madali daw ako makagaanan nang loob pero may times rin na sa tingin ko di ako feel nag kinakausap ko pag ganun I don't take it personally iniisip ko na lang  they don't want to be bothered. May times rin kasi di ba na ayaw mo lang maki pag usap kaya respect it na lang.

Sa pakikipagusap para maganda ang flow nang conversation kailangan may topic kayo na interested kayo pareho. Tip rin pala pag mga nanay ang kausap mo tanungin mo lang about sa anak nya for sure di yan mauubusan nang kwento. Practice talking to people masasanay ka rin and magiging natural na lang sayo ang pakikipagusap. 

[aquacharly]

When one wants to widen one's social circle --  one must feel physically ok (not tired, not mabigat ang katawan, not in pain, not giving the "shut down" vibes --  coz that makes it easier for one to be in the proper frame of mind to be friendly:  optimistic/positive. 

See, people gravitate/respond to people who appear cheerful/humorous/positive/"open".

Just plaster a sincere smile on your face when you face someone  (don't keep on smiling even when no one's interacting with you -- people will think you''ve got a loose screw. )
Greet people good morning/afternoon/evening.  That's a simple icebreaker.
Be gracious all the time -- say thank you even if what's done for you is part of his/her job.  People are more receptive to those who are appreciative.

Join a civic/religious organization to broaden your base of friends. 
Take up pole-dancing, diving, climbing -- whatever you can develop a passion for that people your age do. 

[girl24]

kahit ako sis, pag nasa school ng anak ko or me activity, i don't talk to the other parents. i'd rather talk to my child na lang or just be quiet. ewan ko ba. pero pag me opportunity to interact, i do naman pero as much as possible i try to just blend in. hindi ko alam why ganon ako sa other co parents, sa office naman okey ako... hmmm... something to think about...

[muahmuahmuah]

Be interested in people or atleast pretend to be interested in them and relate to what they say. Ask questions or be curious without sounding creepy or seem like a gang )Akyat-Bahay or Sige-sige) member.

Note social cues din if you are beginning to make them feel uncomfortable or uninsterested. Pick up from the things they say and interject an experience, humor or something about yourself when a common interest or topic opens up or is mentioned.   Don't think ahead too much, fearing about what to say will make you nervous lang , an acquaintance once told me na he just pretends that he's talking to a  a 5 year old so be nice , polite and watch your words. Practice in front of  the mirror see if you make too many hand gestures na kulang nalang mag levitate ka or if you come off as too animated or obnoxious and follow where your eyes go. Eye contact is important it shows sincerity and interest or look where they're looking or where they're pointing at.

Some would easily open up, while  others would be annoyed so learn lang with what went on with the conversation. Giving compliments can get you far too and then follow through with other questions and pag wala ka na matanong or masabi just politely excuse yourself and say something like it was nice to meet them and if they said something important tell them you'll keep that in mind and say thanks.

[winkypops]

Masasabi kong wala akong social life sa ngayon,office bahay lang ang peg ko. sometimes gusto ko mag bar with my friends,minsan naman gusto ko nasa house lang ako.

pinanganak yata akong mahiyain eh..nahihirapan ako makipag usap sa iba kasi hindi ko alam kung anong topic at kung paano ako mag start ng conversation.

[xtine]

Are you naturally shy?  If you're not shy but you don't enjoy socializing or avoiding people that aren't close to you, you probably have Social Anxiety Disorder.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) (DSM-5 300.23), also known as social phobia, is the most common anxiety disorder.[1] It is one of the most common psychiatric disorders, with 12% of Americans having experienced it in their lifetime.[2] It is characterized by intense fear in one or more social situations,[3] causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others
- from wiki

It can be corrected through CBT (Cognitive Behavioural therapy).  The therapy is meant to correct our moods which affects how we see things that ultimately affects our behaviour.

This is a good read, check if you can relate.

http://www.anxietybc.com/resources/social.php

[you_love_me]

Sabi nga nila, we don't need someone who doesn't need us. Palagi ko na lang din iniisip, kung ayaw nila sa kin, ayos lang. Basta wala akong ginawang masama sa kanila. We can't please everybody, right? I'm more than ok having my family and true friends.

[juni]

When one wants to widen one's social circle --  one must feel physically ok (not tired, not mabigat ang katawan, not in pain, not giving the "shut down" vibes --  coz that makes it easier for one to be in the proper frame of mind to be friendly:  optimistic/positive. 

See, people gravitate/respond to people who appear cheerful/humorous/positive/"open".

Just plaster a sincere smile on your face when you face someone  (don't keep on smiling even when no one's interacting with you -- people will think you''ve got a loose screw. )
Greet people good morning/afternoon/evening.  That's a simple icebreaker.
Be gracious all the time -- say thank you even if what's done for you is part of his/her job.  People are more receptive to those who are appreciative.

Join a civic/religious organization to broaden your base of friends. 
Take up pole-dancing, diving, climbing -- whatever you can develop a passion for that people your age do. 

Agree with sis aquacharly.  Mas mahirap makipagsocialize pag pagod.  If introvert ka na as it is, you'll have a harder time mingling with people and overcoming your shyness pag kulang ang energy mo.  Tao lang tayo, pag pagod mas nahihirapan.

I'm not good with small talk din, hindi ako outgoing.  But in my experience most people respond well if you're nice to them.  Be sincere, be kind and try to smile at them, and more often than not they will warm up to you. 

[kittypaw]

this is my dilemma too, nakakasad lang kasi lalo pag online ako sa facebook then and daming online pero ni isa wala akong ka close para makausap puro acquaintance lang.

[airish_2]

nagdaan din ako sa ganyan stage minsan nga umuulit, hehe pero masasanay ka din dapat lagi kang palangiti, lately napansin ko sumuplada at tumaray ako kaya naging visible yung wrinkle line in between sa eyebrow ko, shy type din ako pero di habang buhay ganun i miss hanging out sa mga close friends ko pero most of them busy.

[mikewazowski]

Malapit na naman paasukan, hay. kailangan na naman ng social skills feeling loner nanaman ako sa classes, haha. naiinis ako sa sarili ko, why I s*ck sa aocializing, why I am this quiet, one dimensional, mediocre, just plin BORING. My siblings have great personalities sigh.

I am not a conversation starter - dont know what to say. It does not come naturally (the topics). and after they said something, sometimes I have a hard time saying something back, or giving a whole new things to takk about

I was a talkative girl when I was in elem, I hate puberty ha ha. I dont want to be like this




Please give tips

[airish_2]

^college ka na ba sis? o highschool hindi pang habang buhay ang pagiging shy type, wag mo masyadong isipin kung ano sasabihin ng tao sayo pag conscious ka kasi parang ang hirap kasi ganyan din ako dati tulad na baka ayaw sa akin mga ganun makakahanap ka rin ng circle of friends hindi man madami someone naman na mapagkakatiwalaan mo.

[pret_ty68]

^^
Mag start ka kaya muna makipagkaibigan dun sa mga kapareho mo nang personality type para at least hindi ka palaging mag isa. I'm sure meron ka naman sigurong mga classmate na intovert din kagaya mo. Pag medyo ok na na makipagkwentuhan dun sa circle of friends mo mag try ka naman maki mingle sa iba.

[oyetken]

 yan din ang problem ko sis pret_ty68 ,napapansin ko din ang sarili ko na parang  i'm alone ,walang friends pero meron naman pili lang yun nga lang madalang kaming magkita-kita sometimes hinde na din ako napunta ...since nagkaroon ako ng family and full time mom na ng matagal , hinde na ako nakapag work parang wala akong sense kausap , hinde na ako marunong makipag-usap , hinde ko alam saan ako mag-uumpisa , nauutal ...i hate myself kung minsan kasi parang paano ko uumpisahan ang conversation pag mgkakaharap -harap na kami..gusto kpng mabago yun...akala ko ako lang ang nakaka-exprience ng ganito.. kaya ngco-concentrate na lang sa business ko.. paano ba ang maging madaldal na may sense.....