To all married wives: Will you consider living in with your in-laws?

[longing]

As much as you can, a big N-O. Ke sehodang mag-rent kayo ng apartment, it will not pay off the peace of mind you'll get than living with your in-laws/family. Masaya ang nakatira malayo sa kanila, walang pupuna on how you manage your household.

[Angel2guideu]

If we have choice NO.. pero since my mom-in-law has cancer and under going treatments.. we have to stay with her for a while until she regain her strength.. though may kapatid naman si hubby but due to complicated and ma-emo na situation sa ngaun.. we have to endure.. even hubby prefers na bumukod..dahil nga iba din talga pag nakabukod and di kami mapapakealaman ni madir.. good thing he knows na ganun si madir..
Based on experience din ko nagagawa yung gusto kong gawin like sa pagluluto, pag ayos ng bahay, at di ako makabili ng sarili namin gamit sa bahay dahil di naman namin bahay yun    ..  Kaya hoping and praying kami  na maging ok na si madir after her chemotherapy and radiation tsaka kami mag plaplan to look for house para naman sa min..

[BDJ]

^Yung ayos nga ng mesa hindi ako makapagdecision, ang kinaiinisan ko talaga yung mantel na nilalagay sa mesa na wala namang salamin yung mesa in the first place tapos parati lang naman minamantsa at nilalanggam. Siempre damay rin ako run na lalanggamin. Sana man lang kung matyaga siyang maglinis ng mantel every now and then or almost everyday. Tapos I really hate na ginagawang lagayan ng toiletries yung isang part sa mesa. And again sukang suka na talaga ako sa basong iniihian niya na nakalagay sa lababo. Ni mag toothbrush nga sa lababo tina timing ko pa na natutulog siya kasi pinagbabawalan niya.

[ankyneMD]

Grabe naman mil mo sis.. kung ako yan naku gagawin ko ang lahat makapagbukod lang kami ni hubby.

[harley18]

NEVER!!!!

You will never have the feeling of "ownership" of anything. Bagay, oras, kilos, asawa, anak, pati oras mo! Kahit gaano kabait pa yan, hindi ka makakagawa in a way na gusto mo. Hindi mo mapapalaki ang anak mo sa way na gusto mo. Hindi mo maspend ang oras mo sa way na gusto. Hindi mo mahaharot o mapapagalitan ang asawa mo sa way na gusto mo. more and more and more......

Saka rule naman talaga yun e.. You have a family of your own na, so live on your own na.. Kahit gaano kahirap, for better or for worse ika nga..

[Charm1983]

If my choice the answer is NO...

But in my case I have no choice. Since eldest si hubby and there have no where to go I have to live with my IL. Which is very very frustrating. I hirap sobra.

[pbrg]

Living with IL for 16years now  =)  We're okay naman even my BIL & SILs.  Eldest si hubby, sort of kami yung sa ending tagapag alaga sa IL

[vitug.annie]

I used to when we are still BF/GF pero my hubby lives somewhere else noon tas ako nakatira sa knila wahaha. didn't have a problem, super mabait at maasikaso mga inlaws. pero sa ngayon, I prefer living on our own since mag asawa na talaga kami.

[j.adore]

Good read http://relationshipmatters.ph/2014/11/leave-and-cleave/

[Awesomecakes]

^ I was about to share this blog sis! A close friend of mine sent this to me and when I read it, sobrang  I agree! Richard and Maricar perfectly explained everything. Sana lahat ng husbands and husband-to-be ganito ang thinking.

[imprincessfiona]

For now yes pero ping pong. Minsan sa kanila, minsan sa amin. Pag weekdays sa amin ako pagdating ng  friday night uwi ako kina hubby then pag Sunday uwi na ulit sa amin after namin magmass. Pero this year I will insist na kumuha kami ng house na far far away to both sides para matuto kami on our own. Sobrang hirap kasi kumilos sa hindi mo bahay. Lalo si hubby big family sila. Imagine kung dun ako titira sa kanila, sobrang dami mo pakikisamahan kasi parang isang compound sila. Minsan pag pagod ka sa work at gusto mo na humilata, hindi pwede. Minsan gusto mo ipagluto ang asawa mo pero natatakot ka na hindi nila magustuhan kasi lahat sila marunong magluto, uso sa kanila yung ira-rate mo yung ulam na niluto mo from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest. We have our own room pero iba pa din yung kayong dalawa lang ang magkasama. Minsan nararamdaman ko na parang na-o-out of place ako lalo na pag nagluluto sila (my hubby and his youngest sister) sa kusina. Wala sarili wash room, you need to go down pa para makapag-cr. Saka kahit gaano pa ka-bait ang in laws mo, may masasabi at masasabi pa din yan. Most importantly, hindi kayo pwedeng mag-away. Puro disadvantages ang pakikipisan sa in laws kaya as much as possible it's a NO-NO!

[swtgrl_bee]

My answer is also NO! Pero ang case ko nga, sa bahay kami ng parents ko nakatira. May own studio type lang kami sa taas. Pero shared kitchen and dining pa din. We are planning na ipa extend itong maliit naming palasyo. Better, hahanap na talaga kami ng amin. Sana soon, para makadiskarte din sa mga bagay bagay!

Kaya sa lahat ng singles diyan, totoo yun na kahit maliit lang basta nakabukod yun ang the best!

[kikaygirl5810]

Na try ko for a couple weeks na tumira with my inlaws nung kapapanganak kolang sa baby ko. Mabait naman sila to me and may baby... Pero meron talaga yung feeling na lagi nakikita yung kilos mo. Kaya i told mu hubby na e-uwi nyako sa parents ko kasi i am not comfortable sa house nila. At first dami nyang question bakit daw. Pero wala ako masagot to him kundi siguro kasi un-easy pako kasi Cesarean ako and para maka sama din ng parents ko ang baby namin.

Iba talaga yung separate ka sa both parents nyo para maka gawa kayo ng decision nyo ng walang second opinion (in a positive way). I love my in laws but i don't love the idea of living-in with them. 

[chocochips1]

no. but my IL are very supportive and caring. pero married na kasi kami, so mas okay kung may privacy yung relationship namin where in kaming 2 lang ni husband talaga ang masusunod

[ri-anne]

^ i only get to live with my inlaws when we visit pinas..yun lang..and i prefer it that way.
When hubby & i started out, we lived with my parents for a year.. Okay na sana ano pabor sa akin hehe...but opportunity knocked and we get to live abroad, and live by ourselves...

Honestly, that's the only time i started to feel and really felt we were REALLY married..nung nag-solo kami..i realized na ok pala talaga na we're on our own.
We learned how to be more responsible with our spendings because we need to pay rent, utilities, food, etc walang ibang aasahan.. we learned how to talk out our differences na dati eh pag nainis ako i'd just go to my mom and not talk to him lol! we bought furnitures and stuffs and i get to decorate our place anyway i want..kakatuwa kaya yun!
Our relationship definitely matured, parang nag-level up kami! Hehe

So to those who are planning to get married, or who are already married, you need to live on your own..not with the in laws (not even with your own parents) 
I know sometimes it's easier said than done.
siguro at first di pa kaya financially so do your best to make it your priority sana lalo na kung wala pa namang kids.
But if it's just because of convenience pero kaya naman, well you (or rather, your husband) need to get out of your (or his) comfort zone.
You can rent kahit a small place, what's important is yung feeling of independence (as a couple) and responsibility.
Good luck!

[kookai88]

okey talaga kapag kayo lang ng asawa mo ang magkasama. na-try ko na din kasi na makasama ang in-laws sa bahay. mababait naman sila, pero parang iba si hubby pag nandyan ang parents niya. hindi siya masyadong pa-sweet sa akin. malamang nahihiya siya. saka [textspeak!] talagang privacy pag kasama mo ang in-laws mo. mas gusto ko pa rin na kami lang dalawa, kahit na mahirap sa part ko dahil ako lahat ang gumagawa sa bahay after my work. pero pag nandyan parents ng hubby ko. halos wala na akong gagawin sa bahay kundi ang magpahinga. pero gusto ko pa rin na ako ang nag aasikaso sa hubby ko kaya gusto ko na kaming dalawa lang sa bahay.

[jamien]

For now lang pero sana maafford na namin to live on our own. Kahit anong pakikisama kasi may masama pa rin sila masasabi so nakakastress lang.

[hypergalactix13]

I don't have anything against my husband's family nor vice versa, but my answer is NO

My husband works in Manila while I work somewhere in Southern Luzon, the setup has always been the same kahit noong mag BF/GF pa kami. Kahit mag-asawa na kami, during weekdays since parehong may work, I stay in my apartment while husband stays in their family home. Weekends lang kami nagkikita most of the time.

Wala naman kaming issue sa pakikisama kaso mahirap tumira sa bahay ng iba, kahit pa sabihing sa bahay ng mga magulang. May kanya-kanyang expectations na kasi yan. At siyempre hindi mawawala ang "utang na loob" factor d'yan. Besides, mas ok din talaga na bumukod para matuto especially ang new couples to live on their own at masanay gumawa ng sariling decisions. Kapag nasa bahay kasi ng magulang, sila parin talaga ang may final say sa lahat ng bagay kasi siyempre sila ang head ng household.

[la_pinay]

^same tayo ng current situation sis.i am from north manila while my husband is from the south. during weekdays, we stay with our family's home. pag week ends ako umuuwi sa kanila.

 although magpapatayo na kmi ng unit sa likod ng house nila kasi we can not leave his mom since mag isa lang sya at may edad na rin. right now im thinking if lipat ako work dun or stay with current work tapos same set up - week ends lang uwi dun.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

No, wag talaga! Cause, simula nung nagsama ang in laws ni ate and sila ate.. Its HELL! Yes, they arent, or rather BOTH our families are no longer in  speaking terms.  May tendency kasi na mag activate ang " pakikialam powers" ng mother in law na kalapit bahay niyo. Sister ko and family ni BIL, share the same backyard, but different gates. Pero sa nangyari, di tumutupad at suwail mga in laws sa rules nila ate 
pinakikialaman. My sister decided na  palagyan ng wall ang pagitan nila sa kabila.  Tarnished na rin samahan nila, and with us. Why? Kasi pag inaatake asthma ng 2 kids, kami ang nag dadala sa ospital. And its all because of the family ng kabila!