To all married wives: Will you consider living in with your in-laws?

[gorgeous gal]

I read this somewhere but I cant remember where haha

"there is no house big enough to fit two queens"

[blush_blush]

No. I would not consider it, ever.

[lisse]

No, kahit gaano pa kabait your in-laws, or your hubby and your parents, this is not advisable. Practical, yes, maybe since share and share alike in expenses. In some cases ha, but minsan pa nga mas magastos when you live in somebody else's household na.
Based on my experience, I have to live with my parents in law here in the US while our house is being renovated and hubby was assigned to another site for work. My in-laws are super nice, to the point na ini-spoil nila ako. But my MIL na mismo nagsabi, familiarity breeds contempt. I work and go to school so I need some quiet time. Hindi ko magawa don kasi maski closed na ang door ko kakatukin ka pa if u want to join them sa LR to watch programs. MInsan hindi ko naman gusto and I already said so pero pipilitin pa din ako "just see" lang daw. Makalat sa kitchen si MIL eh sakin hindi pwede may matirang isang kutsara sa sink. Madami pa pero finally we moved to our own house na. And still MIL would try to dominate us pa rin. Like one time, she told the carpenter na "we" daw, ha, "we", want this side of the kitchen counter to be open and have some shelves. Eh hindi ko naman gusto yun kasi hello, solid oak na counter tapos may butas? Magka-clash talaga kayo eventually because you're already an adult, you know what's good and right for u and your husband. Our MILs may want the same pero since they're the parents they will always try to dominate and take charge. Kahit anong bait pa ng isang tao, meron din yang ugali na hindi click sayo.

[ayami]

Yes, yes, and YES! Haha. Bakit kamo? Sa bahay namin nakikipagclash ako sa Mom ko mismo. Siya yung tipong mean MIL ang dating. Hassle na hassle kaming mag-asawa sa kanya! Kung sino pa yung mom ko siya ang nakakarindi. Dito ko mismo nararanasan yang "two queens" thing na yan.

Ang MIL ko workaholic, palaging wala sa house at nasa unit nila to work. Hindi rin siya mahilig makialam sa household stuff nila. Ang Father in law ko naman palaging nasa drilling sa Leyte or sometimes sa Palawan. Ang mga kapatid ng hubby ko busi-busihan din, married na yung dalawa at younger bros na lang nandon. Madalas walang tao sa house nila at maids lang nandon.

Nung Habagat, dun kami nagstay for a week and I must say ang sarap ng buhay ko dun kumpara sa sarili kong pamamahay. Hindi nakakastress ang mga tao dun. Kada may family trip din kami sa farm nila sa Bulacan maayos lahat ng kaganapan. Haha.

[CaraLuisa]

Before kami ikasal ng hubby ko napagusapan na namin rin to. Close rin siya sa family niya. in fact bago kami ikasal, siya pa nagbibigay sa kanila ng pera pang kain nila etc. pang school ng sis niya.
I made it clear na ayaw kong may makitira samin na family. Pero ok lang kung as guest, tipong vacay lang for max a week haha! Nagkasundo naman sa awa ng Dios. So when we started living together, kami lang talaga. Renting lang kami BTW. Anyway, after 2 years of kami lang, nagrequest yung sister-in-law ko if puede siya makistay samin kasi kesa mag dorm pa siya sa manila, eh isa lang subject niya (taga Batangas sila kasi). Medyo alangan ako pumayag pero ansama ko naman dba. naisip ko na lang, makahelp din siya sa pagalaga ng anak ko when I need to go out. So yun ang start ng pagtira niya samin, Hanggang ngayon 2 years after, andito pa rin siya, and nadagdagan pa ng isa pang sister-in-law ko. so 2 na sila dito. Share sila sa room. Although lagi naman sila wala kasi may work. Alam naman nila ako masusunod sa bahay so wala namang friction/prob. Minsan lang makalat yung isang sister, so I let my hubby be the one to talk to her about it. May cons and pros pero mas marami namang pros, so carry lang na kasama sila.

Pero ibang usapan pag father-in-law ko. Kasi mareklamo yun. pakialam din lagi. alam mo na. typical in-laws. Mabait siya sakin actually pero di maiiwasan yung mga "dapat ganito gawin niyo...."
Minsan nagvivisit siya samin for a week or two. Sa simula ok kami, pero bandang huli medyo umiinit na ulo ko haha! So feeling ko di ko kaya pag tumira siya dito permanently.

[jjqxiv]

Living with my in-laws made me closer to them, tipong pag mag-aaway kami ng asawa ko nasa side ko pa din sila instead as anak nila mismo. Originally 4 families kami dun sa house with parents-in-law and two single SILs. We have our own house already but mas preferred ni hubby na dun kami mag-stay on weekdays kasi mas malapit sa school ng kiddos. Besides, sa States naman na naka-base yung parents ni hubby so no problem for them, umuuwi lang sila dito every 6 months. Kaso syempre hindi pa din naiiwasn yung financial problems since my husband's the oldest, sya taga hawak ng pera from their parents. Pero naayos din nman and hindi nagiging major issue. And by the way, my mom used to live with us sa bahay nila hubby. Good thing we know how to handle each other and sobrang close pa din ng lahat.

But of course, iba pa din pag nag-start kayo na kayong dalawa lang, iba pa din pag may sarili kayong bahay kahit maliit lang as long as sarili nyo. Iba iba din nman yung mga in-laws natin diba?

[jiji_06]

It's better to have your own house sis. Magagawa mo gusto mo, at magagampanan mo talaga ang pagiging misis. Dahil ikaw bubudget lahat, as Wife. Mas matututo ka, mas magiging mature.

[lady_avoidant]

aww.. living with mil ang gustong set up ni bf kung pakasal kami..  kung hihiwalay kasi kami ng tira e dalawa nalang ang maiiwan sa bahay nila , yung sis at mama nalang  niya.. gusto niya lang  may kasama mama niya sa pagtanda tsaka yung sis niya na di na raw mag aasawa.. sobrang okey naman kami sa family ni bf kaya nakapag agree ako sa plano..pero after reading all of the posts, iba nga talaga pag may matawag na own home..

[kiz_me1109]

It's been 5 years that I am living with my in laws and we're ok. My mom would always tell me not to fight with my in laws no matter what happens. Our parents will always understand us and will forgive us kapag nag aaway tayo. But our in laws will not. It's always best to build a good relationship with our in laws. Of course we don't have plans of staying there forever. We also tried to live on our own and my in laws are always there for us in times we need their help. We have our own reasons why we chose to live with them - For now. It's because my family is in Iloilo. And they're my only family here. We have a 4 year old son and we have a yaya. We need someone to look after the yaya while both of us are at work. Being a Quee of the house or not is never an issue for me. Of course I know that it's my in laws' house. So we have to follow their rules. So far naman, wala namang rules na sinasabi. hehe And I'm the kind of person naman na marunong makisama and may respeto sa lahat ng klase ng tao.

Given a chance, If it's just me and Hubby, or afford namin na si hubby lang mag wo work, then we will chose to live on our own. Kaya lang, there are some things that we need to compromise for the good. And for now, my son's welfare and safety is the most important thing above all.

[donzski_doinks]

share ko lang experience ko.

dati talaga, ok lang sa akin tumira sa family ni husband. i mean, i know myself.  alam ko kaya ko makisama. so hindi yun issue sa akin.
kaso when we got married, nung nag start nako tumira sa kanila, thats when my nightmare began. mabait naman MIL ko, in fairness. kaya lang, may SIL kasi ako na medyo masungit. nakaka-stress baga. she's like a queen who rules her kingdom with an iron hand. hehe. ako, tahimik lang. alam ko hindi ko teritoryo kaya minsan kahit iba yung atmosphere, quiet lang ako. pag may ginawa sya sa asawa ko na di ko gusto (my husband is older than her, btw) like yung mga pabalang na utos at sagot, wa ako say. kung [textspeak!] man grievances ko sa ugali ni SIL, kay hubby ko sinasabi para pagsabihan nya kapatid nya. kaso mukhang hindi nya sinasabihan. sa bahay kasi nila, lahat tumitiklop dun. even my MIL ha. kaya i doubt it kung mapagsasabihan ni hubby kapatid nya.


and then, just before the school year opened, my father offered to send me back to school. graduate na ako ng BSBA mga sis, pero I always dreamed of becoming a teacher kaya yung papa ko, sabi nya, mag take ako ng 18 units of educ para makakuha ako ng Certificate in Professional Education at makapagturo. it was good news for me. kasi yung school kung saan ako pinag e-enroll e sa novaliches. masyadong malayo sa lugar ni husband wc is bulacan kaya dun muna kami titira sa bahay ng family ko.. so akala ko makakabangon na ako sa bangungot. kasi mabait si  husband. alam ko wala sya magiging problem sa pakikisama.

yun ang akala ko.

wala naman ako problema sa mga kapatid ko. mabait naman sila kay hubby. kaso si mama, numero unong pakialamera.. syempre, di naman maaalis sa mag-asawa yung nagkakaron ng petty quarrels db? yung mga ganun, pinapakialaman ni mama. tsk tsk.. tapos, kasi kami ni hubby, mahilig mag-asaran. parang lambing na namin yun sa isa't isa. pati yun pinapakialaman din. hay naku. stressful talaga.

sa ngayon, di pa namin kaya bumukod kasi di pa kami stable financially. pero by next year, bubukod na talaga kami. sa true lang, ayaw ni hubby mangupahan kasi sayang daw pero sabi ko, kahit maghalo balat sa tinalupan, hindi na ako titira sa kanila. ok lang bakasyon pero yung permanent? never would, never will! tsaka, sabi ko kay hubby di kami matututo kung lage kami nakapisan lang. so, with that in mind, napahinudhod ko din sya.


ayan napahaba na post ko. hehe. tnx for reading.

[Beng01]

I will not consider living with my in-laws, kahit yung sister in law ko nag-ooffer sa amin na sa kanila tumira, sa guest room, ayaw ko (btw, hubby is bunso, so lagi naka support ang ate).

Wala ako masabi sa kabaitan ng family ni hubby, kasundo ko sila, pero syempre nakakahiya naman at ang hirap lang dahil sa halip na kikilalanin ko pa ng husto ang asawa ko, eh kailangan ko din makisama sa family nya. Hirap eh.

Kaya eto nangungupahan kami, studio type. Okay naman, it is not easy pero nakakasurvive naman. Ang masaya nito, kahit pareho kaming walang saplot sa apartment namin, walang magrereact, hindi nakakhiya 

[lclanzaderas]

don't do it!!! 

we've done this. we lived with his family and then we lived with mine. we now have our own home and it's best that way.

[glyzza026]

^im living with my inlaws for 7 months na.so far wala pa namang nagiging problema.siguro nakatulong din dahil kami din ang nagbabayad ng mga bills(electric, water, gas) at nagbibigay din ako ng budget for the food.hindi pa kasi tapos ang bahay namin.at swerte din dahil mababait mga inlaws ko.

[coco_bunny]

I've been living for the past 8 years with MIL and so far no major away. I had no choice kasi only son si hubby and nakakaawa si mudra nya kung maiiwanan mag-isa.

[little_princess]

not really, my in laws are great and nice but then they are different kasi hindi sila malinis sa bahay! hahaha their house is super filthy

[chinkywinky]

NO. Not ever. We can sleep over but to live with them permanently, no. Don't get me wrong, may in-laws are mababait, but they are domineering and iba trip sa buhay. Ako pa naman may sarili akong mundo. To avoid the clash, wag na lang. My husband actually decided not to. Buti na lang 

[sumtingnew23]

I am totally guilty of this :-)  Well me and my baby are staying in my in -laws for like 4 months now.. Take note, my hubby is working on the ship and he's not a filipino kaya I am with my foreign in-laws here abroad.  Well to answer the question it is a big NO for me, but for now I do not have a choice because I do not speak their language well..turkish kasi sila.  For now our set up is okay and more favorable to me kasi hindi pa ako gaanong familiar sa country and language.  I must say kahit iba lahi ko sa kanila, super bait naman and spoiled kami ni baby, anything we want bibilhin or need, even gives me money.  Pero tama most of the sisses here..in the long run talaga magkaka problema kayo.  Hindi din maayos sa house MIL ko, super makalat sa bahay and kahit anong gawin kong linis parang wala pa din, super tago kasi lahat ng gamit ng MIL ko, even yung first hair cut ng hubby ko and his brothers nakatago pa :-)  Hopefully by next year we will be moving to our own house na kaya super excited na ako..wooohoooo!!!!

[kookai88]

5 months nang nag-stay sa amin ang in-laws ko. kasundo ko naman silang dalawa pero para sa akin mas ayos pa rin kung kami lang ni hubby ang magkasama sa bahay. mas komportable. mas marami akong nagagawa sa bahay, unlike pag nandyan sila, hindi ako makapagluto, makapaglaba at makapaglinis ng house. nahihiya akong gumawa sa bahay pag nandyan sila.

[graZiousa]

No sis... Iba kasi ang nagkikita lang kayo pag may okasyon sa magsasama kayo sa iisang bahay araw2x.. may mga ways ka na hindi nila nakasanayan at syimpre mapupuna nila yon...

[seven82]

No! at buti nalang my husband and i both want it this way.  no need for added drama in our lives. hindi na nga kami magkasama sa isang bubong e may mga nangyayari ng hindi ok what more pa kung araw araw kami magkikita. SIL ko ang mas hindi ko makakasundo malamang. and madumi din sila sa bahay. mahilig sila magalaga ng dogs pero tamad naman sila to clean up. amoy aso pag pasok palang ng bahay and minsan may mga ihi ng aso na hindi napupunasan.