What are your criteria for choosing a husband or bf

[cloudzy_09]

I never had a heart to heart talk with my mom about boys and marriage actually nobody told me on how to choose the right guy kaya kala ko dati basta mahal mo ayun na yun so after some heartache doon lang natuto. Before I choose my hubby to be my husband ilang beses ko muna check yung list of criteria ko kung pasado ba siya  .

Ito yung criteria or guide ko when choosing husband or bf

1. He should be a good son ( kasi napansin ko pag mabuti anak most likely he would be a good father and family man)

2. We should have same values and priority in life ( para hindi kayo masyado nag aaway in the future)

3. Masipag or financially capable ( this is very important to me I had a father na hindi nag wo work all his life and it really did affect may parents marriage ayoko ng magaya sa kanila)

4. Comes from a good family ( magulo na kasi family ko ayoko na ng daragdag pa family niya)

5. He should treat all people with respect regardless of the situation ( baka kasi sa una lang mabait at e rerespeto ka)

6. Have balls ( ayoko ng mamas boy at under)

7. Should love and respect my family ( discuss ko sa kanya na baka in the future tumira sa amin parents ko and we should support them financially )

8. Smart

9. Generous, kind, loving and patient ( dapat lahat ng 4 na ito ganon siya)

10. Of course mahal mahal na mahal ko.

[Girltalker2]

Hi sis, thanks for opening a thread like this.  Naisip ko din ito. Never ako sinabihan ng mom ko what to find/not to find in a guy.  Kaya nangyari sakin before, kung kanino lang ako na inlove na "mukhang" ok naman kasi can raise naman a family. 

Now that I am older and wiser, tingin ko hindi lang characteristics that you 'like' and importante but also characteristics that can help you 'sustain' the relationship, for better or worse.

I have 2 levels (3 levels pa nga) of criteria. First set of criteria kasi yung papasa for you to get to know.  Kung alam mong hindi na sya pasa doon, huwag mo na ipursue before lumalim ang feelings mo, para sa gayon, you won't find yourself into trouble.

First set - who I should consider dating/getting to know - kaya medyo superficial ang first set of criteria ko.

1. Responsible, can fend for himself and ready to raise a family. Read:  Financially independent at hindi umaasa sa parents.

2. Importante sakin ang education, kelangan at least magkalevel kami nang natapos.

3. Confident

4. May "attraction" syempre dapat ako sa kanya at sya sakin at the start. Or shall I say may chemistry dapat.

5. Hindi ex-convict or have any trouble with the law. Respected by his family/friends.

6. Physically not unfit.  Ibig kong sabihin hindi overweight and takes care of how he looks (kasi ganun din ako unfair naman kung ako lang).

7. Hygienic - ayoko ng not groomed ang hair or nails, or madumi sapatos. Ayaw ko din ng bad breath.

8. Age gap older than me. Ideally 5-8 yrs older, But I can consider older men but not more than 12 years older than me 



Second set of criteria - once I get to know him, what other factors that can make me tell if he is for me

1. HONEST - initially I wanted this as #1 above. Pero paano mo nga naman malalaman if you do not get to know him. But for me pag hindi pa kami mag asawa, this is a deal breaker.  Kasi ang isang taong hindi honest, mataas ang chances na magsisinungaling sayo in the future, at malaki din ang chances of infidelity.

2. Respectful and Mindful of others - he should respect you as a woman but also your time. Hindi purkit kumikita sya ng malaki or sya ang lalaki, at ang kinikita mo not at par with him, feeling nya oras lang nya ang importante at dahil busy sya lagi at wala kang karapatan maging busy, at pag aantayin ka nya lagi sa mga dates ninyo. No no ito para sakin.

3. May isang salita.  Hindi bolero.  Ayaw ko na nagsasabi ng isang bagay pero hindi nya kaya panindigan at hanggang yabang lang.

4. Family-oriented

5. Dedicated

6. May sense of humor - para hindi boring kasi mahina ako magjoke kaya kung may sense of humor sya at least may tatawa sa jokes ko haha

7. Adventurous, open-minded, willing to explore new things - para we can always explore things together

8. Magkalevel kami in terms of discussions and conversations

9. Compassionate

10. Romantic

11. Considerate sa needs mo or Understanding.


Tingin ko ito lang naman ang list ko.  Good luck nalang sakin! hahaha

[pret_ty68]

Ang haba na nang list nyo dagdagan ko na lang

Patient - Tingin ko kasi ang hirap pakisamahan ang madaling nag iinit ang ulo

Open Minded- Kailangan hindi sarado ang isip nya pag hindi kasi open minded gusto nya lagi sya nasusunod and ayaw nya mag compromise

[aebrbiyc2009]

^^^wow. Just checked on your list and almost thought as if you're describing my boyfriend. Haha. Luckyyyy!

[ymgsiri]

Husband?! LOL I think for a man they should be emotionally ready! (emotionally & financially of course) Haha. Few exes weren't I think I scared them. Hihi

[annamironova]

1. Highly educated
2. hindi mataba + fair skin + hindi pango
3. optimistic

Yun lang. Hehe.

[cloudzy_09]

Naisip ko lang kailangan ang girls may standard sa pag pili hindi lang basta mabait at mahal ninyo kasi ang dami ko nakita na ang hirap at kumplekado ang buhay dahil mali ang napili asawa or bf pero wala din naman foolproof formula in choosing a partner.

[pret_ty68]

Husband?! LOL I think for a man they should be emotionally ready! (emotionally & financially of course) Haha. Few exes weren't I think I scared them. Hihi

True. A man must not only be financially ready but also emotionally ready. Marami akong alam na akala nila magiging maganda ang married life nila dahil financially ready na sila only to find out during the marriage na hindi pa pala sila ready emotionally.  Akala nila porke afford nila ang magarbong kasal at kaya nilang bumuhay nang pamilya ok na pero mali  dahil mas kailangan ang emotional maturity dahil pag pareho kayong emotionally mature kaya nyo pagtulungan kitain ang pera pero kung financially ready lang hindi emotionally ready madalas sa hiwalayan nauuwi. 

[shane_ganda]

hindi ko naisip ganito ka specific ah.. makapagbasa nga. hehe

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, when you are young, this is normally not an item that you would think about. Iisipin mo nalang kung sino man dumating sa buhay mo, then i-consider mo kung ok o hindi. Tapos kung mahal mo na, bahala na.  And I think this is one of the major causes kung bakit maraming relationships ang hindi nagw-work, even for marriages.  Kasi at the onset, both of you allowed your feelings to develop, tapos huli na i-accept nalang kung sino ka at sino sya.  Then after several years together, one would realize, di pala na nya ma-take at pagtitiis ang tingin nya in trying to accept the other partner. Kaya in the end, hiwalayan blues.

This is what I want to impart sana sa mga singles na young pa. Of course there should be love and chemistry in every relationship, but never ever forget to set your own standards - kung ano ang kaya mong itake o hindi (ka level mo at least), kasi in the end magsisisi ka rin. Sometimes hindi mo pa alam, hindi mo pa sure, kasi medyo bata ka pa.  Then if you are not sure, DO NOT commit yet to a bf or to a marriage.  Scout around, date around, learn more about men and their characteristics, etc.  Then kung alam mo na, then that is the time you have a more deeper understanding about relationships, tsaka yan na ang time na magbf or mag asawa.

Kaya sa girl kong anak - ang payo ko - huwag mag bf ng maaga.  Maraming lalaki dyan, at marami sa kanila, walang kwenta.

[tamera_lorraine]

for my bf/ husband dapat meron siya neto:

1) fear to God
2) high respect
3) love his family
4) long patience
5) good listener
6) responsible
7) with sense of humor
8.) adventurous.. outgoing siya dapat para di boring
9) optimistic
10) understanding

11) and lastly it's so important that "he loves me for who I am" 

hoping... makilala ko na siya now na! hehe

[sunako16]

^ sis, when you are young, this is normally not an item that you would think about. Iisipin mo nalang kung sino man dumating sa buhay mo, then i-consider mo kung ok o hindi. Tapos kung mahal mo na, bahala na.  And I think this is one of the major causes kung bakit maraming relationships ang hindi nagw-work, even for marriages.  Kasi at the onset, both of you allowed your feelings to develop, tapos huli na i-accept nalang kung sino ka at sino sya.  Then after several years together, one would realize, di pala na nya ma-take at pagtitiis ang tingin nya in trying to accept the other partner. Kaya in the end, hiwalayan blues.

very well said hehe

[sunako16]

2. hindi mataba + fair skin + hindi pango

haha dami kong tawa dito sis sa post mo ha! hahahahah!!!!


hmm sakin naman is..

1. MASIPAG
2. MAY PAGMAMAHAL SA DIYOS
3. MATURED EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY
4. MAY PANGARAP SA BUHAY
5. GOOD LISTENER
6. TINUTURING AKONG MATALIK NA KAIBIGAN
7. NASA KATWIRAN
8. HINDI MAYABANG
9. TOTOONG TAO (yung tipong kahit masakit yung maririnig mo sakanya atleast totoo siya at hindi ka niya niloloko o ginagawang t****)
10. HINDI MALUHO

[Girltalker2]

^ sis! pakopya ng hindi pango! hahahaha 

Para naman kasi maganda maging offsprings nyo di ba? haha

[krnmprl]

okey, here goes:

A. The things I look out for before I would actually consider having a "harmless crush"

1. Personal Hygiene
2. Dresses nicely - alam ko superficial, but this says a lot about how a person views himself. I learned thru the years that if a person dresses nicely it doesn't mean he's vain it just means he respects himself a lot and expects others to do the same. So, for men who go to work wearing a T-shirt: delete. Men who come to see you wearing jeans and basketball sneakers: delete from list of prospects.
3. Smells nice
4. The type of work he's doing - I'm particular about this. I want him to be spending his days doing something that's really interesting and difficult and technical. Ayoko na to spend so much time trying to figure out if he's smart or not, I'll just look at what he does for a living.
5. Playfulness - this ranges from your good 'ol sense of humor to some sense of adventure that he has. His idea of good fun. Dapat he doesn't take himself too seriously
6. Work ethic - really a good measure of what kind of person he is. Kaya I tend to fall for people I work with.
7. Physical fitness - not only does he have to have the kind of work that stretches and stimulates his mind, he has to be engaged in physical activities that stimulate his body and so is very fit and health conscious.

B. Things I look out for before I would even consider getting serious:

1. Curiousity
2. Actual intelligence - hasn't got anything to do with grades in school
3. Creativity
4. Kindness
5. Generosity

[x-y]

faithful, honest, loyal, God-fearing, hardworking, consistent, family oriented, loving, sweet, doesn't get bored/tired when I rant/nag (lol), knows how to woo me when I get jealous, masarap magluto, knows how to take care of a sick person (just the basics)

[bananahoneycake]

1. Fundamentally compatible in terms of values and aspirations. Very important kasi this man will be my lifetime teammate, therefore we have to be on the same plane when it comes to how we cope with challenges, how we make decisions, what morals to instill our children, etc.

2. Emotional intelligence. This will ensure that he understands love as a decision, period. And should not just be based on feelings. Men who do not know how to properly navigate their emotions will not be able to effectively deal with the discontentment, boredom, conflicting feelings, impulsiveness, and temptation that married people are sure to face.

3. Walang unresolved baggage. May mga lalaking "perfect" on paper, pero secretly in love with an ex-girlfriend parin. Sometimes they know it but are in denial, but sometimes they're not even aware of it and only fully realize it when they've already made a commitment with the wrong person

4. Be able to prove his worthiness. As a woman, I have to make sure this guy deserves my loyalty before I give it to him. He has to have what it takes to earn my respect, commitment, and affection. Once he does, I will return it a thousand fold. 

[Filipinasadhart]

my criteria in choosing a bf is faithful, may work, di boring, responsable, matured, matangkad, maputi.

ayoko lang yun lalaking mahilig magselfie sa facebook. nakakaduda kase yun pagkatao daig pa ko. Feeling gwapong gwapo sya sa sarili nya.

[solepurplelife]

1. Looks decent and acts decent basta decent- Ayoko ng jejemon tsaka gangster, lalo na mukhang manyak at bastos.

2. Educated and financially dependent- Mahalaga toh para sa future

3. Intelligent and witty yet grounded - madali kasi ko magsawa and mabored kapag walang alam yung kausap ko

4. Faithful, loyal, and honest - core attributes of my future man 

[Muppy]

Smart
Well-rounded
Witty
Excellent taste in music
Not too clingy
Humble