sexless marriage

[ayka]

We haven't made love since last year because of the affair (that ended). He admits up to now, he can't make love to me because he still feels emasculinated, that I'm still a bit controlling. Although I can tell he's not doing it with anyone else, of course I still feel hurt when I catch him watching porn. Iniisip ko na lang he needs release, and maybe he still feels guilty for what he's done before. Kasi minsan he will fondle me here and there, tapos bigla siyang manghihina and tatahimik. Kaya hindi natutuloy.

Only time will tell when we'll be OK again in that area of our marriage. Personally, I don't mind waiting for that time, as long as he's sweet naman and faithful.   

[prettydreamer]

i feel I'm kinda in a sexless marriage since we are 3 years married and we barely have sex in a month. considering we're TTC. minsan naiisip ko na lang if we separate kasi gusto ko na magka anak and were not getting any younger. parang kaya kong mabuhay ng walang asawa pero anak parang hindi ata. kasi a woman can get marry anytime like even if I'm 60 yrs old. but i can't bear a baby when I'm 60.

[popi]

kami we havent had contact for about 17 months

Last time was since I was 6 months preggy.  Then after giving birth, takot ako kasi masakit yung sugat from CS.  Now that our baby is 1 yr old na, I'm always tired kasi I have a full time job, then I have an online business, and Im still breastfeeding our baby.

Nai-guilty ako kasi alam ko mahirap para kay hubby, pero di ko mapilit sarili ko

[ramsmom]

Just found this thread.. Gosh! Dami pala talaga same situation like mine. Ako naman parang wala na ako gana kay hubby halos everyday he exerts effort to initiate it pero ako mismo ang umaayaw ni hug and kiss wala na rin then if meron man contact wala na yung mga romance romance na yun parang sige tapusin mo na then after ng contact wala na para lang mapag bigyan si mister. Di ko alam why pero I read somewhere na if emotionally abused ka parang need pa talaga to gain back all the kilig moment bago ka magka gana kay mister. Sometimes tuloy tinatakot nalang nya ako na baka makahanap nalang sya ng ibang libangan 😔😞

[harley18]

We kiss and hug a lot.. hanggang dun lang. Naginitiate din ako a lot of times kaso lagi daw syang pagod.
So nagmessage ako sa kanya sa FB, sabi ko never na ko mag initiate.. as in never! Tapos sinabi ko din na I feel unattractive, may kundisyon pa kasi syang nalalaman, gusto nya naka-nighties pa before doing it!! What?? Ganto na ba ko kapangit? Kelangan todo effort pa??
Nagsorry naman sya.. babawi daw sya.

So come the night, naglalambing sya.. ako naman ang ayoko na. Feeling ko kasi gagawin nya lang yun dahil napilitan na lang. Haay.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, I think nasa sa couple din how you should rekindle the romance. Buti binigyan ka nya ng hint. E kung dun sya nat turn on e.

Also mo sis, kaya nga may Victoria secret at la senza. Dahil sa mga lalaki.  No harm done if you wear one at ikaw naman magsabi sa kanya na pagod ka   oh di ba eh di ang haba ng hair mo! Hehe Sa Valentine's mo nalang sya ulit sagutin. Hehe

[m]

ramsmom: i think naman we're in the same situation. ako naman un umaayaw si hubby naman un gusto. naaawa nga ako e feeling k he is so deprieved. kahit pagod sya sa work he exert effort talaga pero ako madalas tinutulugan k sya para makaiwas

[patriciaheart]

Ayoko naman humangtong sa ganito pero it happens nga. Lalo na sa may mga sariling career na ladies,,its a 2 way street, hinde puedeng pag gusto mo nalang lagi. I try to keep up with his libido by watching porn, reading erotic novels, taking care of myself and exercising so I can be strong and have stamina. May napanood kasi akong docu about prostitutes na most of their customers eh married men na ayaw sila bigyan ng sex ng asawa nila. If pagod na pagod na talga kayo, kahit bj or hand job siguro basta ma send nyo ang message na I am still the one who makes you feel good. Sabi nga nila nung pre-cana seminar namin,, pag may problema, sex it out,,,Be a girl, make him feel like a man and everything will be ok. Wag nyo muna isipin ang problema and be a partner to your husband.

[Girltalker2]

^ I agree.
Kapag may problem regarding sex, it is important to keep your communications open. Para sa gayon, if may problem si hubby, mapag usapan nyo kesa sa hayaan nyo nalang ang problema assuming it will go away. It will never go away kasi wala naman kayong ginagawa to improve the situation.

For guys, importante na huwag sila magpunta sa prostitutes. So dapat vocal din sila na they need sex with their spouses. For wives naman na feeling rejected, it would be good to talk it out with hubby and ask him what can she do to help improve their sex lives. For wives naman na walang gana, think if ways how to increase your libido (exercise nga daw can help), or what can stimulate your urge, then explore. It is important also for hubby to understand you are trying as well so keep him in the loop sa tintry mo for him.

[harley18]

^ Yes. Napagusapan namin. During that week na nagusap kami, naging ok. We did it once a week. So after two weeks. Balik sa dating gawi. Wala na naman... Haay

[mybell1735]

Dami ko kakilala na sexless sa knilang hubby,nakakasanayan daw talaga..Siguro minsan sobrang pagod,stress o na reject ni hubby o ni wifey..Pero parang ang hirap makasanayan nun..Kami ni hubby mag 9yrs na pero ganun parin kahit pareho kaming busy sa work.

[The Greatest Is LOVE]

Ganitong-ganito misis ko. Sa 3 years marriage namin, mabibilang ko sa daliri ko kung ilang beses lang kami ngasex. Wala pa kami baby til now. I so much miss the hugs, the kissses, the sex part where you eat each other, you thrusts and so on...minsan naiisip ko sa iba na lang kaya...?

Mahal ba talaga nya ko? Wala na sya desire ba sa akin? Nakakalungkot madalas lalo pa at magisa ako sa labas...madalas nga nagsasarili na lang ako. Hahaha. How pathetic me...

Just found this thread.. Gosh! Dami pala talaga same situation like mine. Ako naman parang wala na ako gana kay hubby halos everyday he exerts effort to initiate it pero ako mismo ang umaayaw ni hug and kiss wala na rin then if meron man contact wala na yung mga romance romance na yun parang sige tapusin mo na then after ng contact wala na para lang mapag bigyan si mister. Di ko alam why pero I read somewhere na if emotionally abused ka parang need pa talaga to gain back all the kilig moment bago ka magka gana kay mister. Sometimes tuloy tinatakot nalang nya ako na baka makahanap nalang sya ng ibang libangan 😔😞

[Girltalker2]

^ Yes. Napagusapan namin. During that week na nagusap kami, naging ok. We did it once a week. So after two weeks. Balik sa dating gawi. Wala na naman... Haay

Then talk to him again. Ang communications naman di lang one time, it should be constant. After nyo gawin, talk about it too.

Ganitong-ganito misis ko. Sa 3 years marriage namin, mabibilang ko sa daliri ko kung ilang beses lang kami ngasex. Wala pa kami baby til now. I so much miss the hugs, the kissses, the sex part where you eat each other, you thrusts and so on...minsan naiisip ko sa iba na lang kaya...?

Mahal ba talaga nya ko? Wala na sya desire ba sa akin? Nakakalungkot madalas lalo pa at magisa ako sa labas...madalas nga nagsasarili na lang ako. Hahaha. How pathetic me...

Sorry to hear about your situation. But have you talked to your wife about this? Do you shower her with your attention and love? Kapag v day or Kahit walang occasion, are you still romantic sending flowers to her? Natanong ko lang naman Kasi bilang babae, minsan ligawan mo lang, madali lang dapat sya bumigay, wife mo pa.

Maraming stories kasi the guy would go around straying dahil they can't get the sex from their wife. Tapos yun pala the wife was clueless all along kasi akala nya everything is ok dahil wala naman sinasabi si husband sa kanya.

[patriciaheart]

Bro The Greatest Is LOVE, sana wag ka mag try sa iba, kasi for sure yan one way or another mamalasin kayo 2 magasawa, hinde lang ikaw pati sya kasi 1 na kayo eh (presuming kasal kayo). I think exercising together will work, tipong cardio to get her heart racing tapos after pawis na kayo 2 and mag shower together, sa bathroom palang mero nayan. Buy her luxe creams, oils and offer to massage her, keep mind hitting erogenous zones, hug and kiss her constantly para lumabas ang love hormones to signal the body to create create create! as much as possible pls wag mag body shame ha, tipong you constantly tease her kasi mataba sya or maitim or maasim etc etc.. kasi sex starts in the mind.

[Girltalker2]

^ see? konting carino lang bro The Greatest is Love. 

Also surprise her with a lingerie from La Senza!  Perfume man or kung anong gusto nya. Then flowers, alam na nya ibig sabihin. 

Minsan kasi the more you express to her that you want her BADLY, mas nakaka turn on iyan kay wifey. Good luck!

[The Greatest Is LOVE]

Thank you very much sa mga suggestions. Pero i tried all of those na rin kasi and most of the time rejected lang mga moves ko. Haha! Kaya nakakadisappoint lang sobra. I've given her personalized items pa na todo effort ako sa paggawa din...meron lang siguro talaga babae na hindi gaano mahilig. Tsaka feeling ko talaga nawala na yun desire nya sa akin at feeling ko hibdi na nya ko mahal...

[Girltalker2]

^ sure ka ba? nakausap mo na sya? sinabi na nya iyan in your face? kasi for me lang ha, kung walang pagmamahal, sayang lang ang oras ninyo sa isa't isa.

pov ko lang naman - try to work out the marriage, pero if all fails, baka better off kayo hindi together and find your own happiness. pero syempre marami pang factors involved, kaya dapat lahat dinadaan sa maayos na usapan.

[erza0916]

^^so sad naman. Bakit kaya ayaw na ni misis? Kami ang surefire way ni husband eh maligo kami ng sabay. Minsan pasimple pa na nagsshower na ako biglang papasok tapos sasabihin sabay na daw sya para hindi sayang sa oras, especially pag may lakad kami. Gusto ko naman kasi magooffer yun na iscrub ako then dun na magsisimula. Yung touching nyo and yung feeling na malinis kayo. Walang inhibitions.  Konting caress, a kiss here and there. Ang ending eh lalo pa kami tumagal hahaha. Just make sure na hindi sya nagmamadali or may important meeting baka magalit at lalong umayaw.haha

[The Greatest Is LOVE]

Kagabi niyakap ko sya pero wala man lang reaksyon or anything. Samantalang dati pag niyayakap ko sya, mas mahigpit pa yakap na gagawin nya. Darn! Sobrang napipikon na rin ako sa mga silent treatment nya. Hinihintay na lang ba nya na ako ang bumigay?

[The Greatest Is LOVE]

Wow! Sarap naman nito. Ako dati i've tried to enter the shower room pinalabas ba naman ako, naiilang sya daw kasi kasama namin mga magulang nya sa bahay e. Pero nasa 2nd floor naman yun kwarto namin at may sarili kaming CR. Kaya sobrang disappointment ko. Inggit much ako sa inyo.

^^so sad naman. Bakit kaya ayaw na ni misis? Kami ang surefire way ni husband eh maligo kami ng sabay. Minsan pasimple pa na nagsshower na ako biglang papasok tapos sasabihin sabay na daw sya para hindi sayang sa oras, especially pag may lakad kami. Gusto ko naman kasi magooffer yun na iscrub ako then dun na magsisimula. Yung touching nyo and yung feeling na malinis kayo. Walang inhibitions.  Konting caress, a kiss here and there. Ang ending eh lalo pa kami tumagal hahaha. Just make sure na hindi sya nagmamadali or may important meeting baka magalit at lalong umayaw.haha