My Father is a Philanderer

[sassa]

Need your opinions sissess..

My father is a womanizer/philanderer. I never experienced a complete family kasi bata pa lang ako lagi na  nag aaway. Finally when I was 5, they separated. My mom worked abroad and I still grew up with my father.

I could not count how many mistresses he had but i have 5 half siblings from 4 different mothers!! Grabe noh!!! When he decided to let go of his mistress for like 7 yrs, i thought he was done.

He had a mistress again. Ok gf na lang. This was his girl waay back. They got in touch again after the break up from his former mistress. Sige pagbigyan na. By the way papa is 59. The girl is early 40s.

All the while, i though tapos na sya mag anak. Tada!! Biggest surprise! The girl is pregnant! We already talked to papa about having babies again and we already forbade him from having one. Among his 6 kids, kami pa lang ng sister ko ang tapos. The 3 kids are with their moms (no support from him) and the other 2 are in school na pinapaaral ni papa and binibigyan ng allowance.

My younger sister is running the business and thats our bread and butter. Meaning technically, sya ang nagpapa aral sa 2 naming half sibs. We had a crisis pa nga na super fed up na sister ko that she wanted to quit na kasi sa kasalanan na naman ni papa.

Anyway, my father is getting old na. I clearly told him that i dont want to anything to do with his  children when he is no longer their anymore because they are not my responsibility! Besides their moms are still present to support them! I am the eldest by the way. Tama ba yung ginawa ko? If you were in my shoes what will you do?? I just hate the fact that i have so many siblings. Thats why siguro i hate babies kasi psychologically traumatized na ako.

Pls help!

[m_lim]

well, hindi ka nag iisa. halos ganyan rin situation ko. 1 lang real sister ko then 3 anak ng father ko sa labas.

eldest rin ako and may business rin kami.

naisip ko na eventually, pag wala na ang father ko, dapat magkanya kanya na kami ng mga kapatid ko sa labas. dun na sila sa nanay nila. tutal may mother pa naman sila.

isip ko kasi bakit ko pa hayaan sumama ang loob ko kung wala na nga ang father ko. ano habang buhay pakikisamahan ko sila? ngek!

sa ngayon, advice ko sayo- mag focus lang kayo ng sis mo sa business. sabi mo nga yan ang main source of income niyo. quesa pasamain mo loob mo, eh wala tayo magagaw, ganyan magulang natin eh

. darating ang panahon, maalis rin sila sa buhay niyo

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Sis sassa, true hindi mo responsibility yong half sibs mo, kahit sabihin pa na kadugo sila. You shouldn't suffer from your father's mistake. God bless.

[fegloria1954]

There is another reason for their being called half-sister or half-brother.

They each are entitled to one-half of your individual (as legitimate children) share of the inheritance from the conjugal property of your mother and father.

Really distressing, isn't it?

[m_lim]

^sadly, ganun na nga.

i think mas nakakagigil pa sa case ni sassa, eh sila pa mismo kumakayod para buhayin mga half siblings nila since the father is old na.

aminin ko, there are times na naiisip ko wala naman kasalanan ang mga half siblings ko kaya pwede narin siguro ibigay sa kabila ano ang dapat sa kanila in the future.

BUT, habang lumalaki sila, nakikita ko iba ang mga ugali. (ex. kayang magnakaw) so paano ko pakikisamahan lalo na sa negosyo ang taong kayang magnakaw?

[yena^_^]

ako din ang dami kong half siblings baka nga more than 10 na. Buti nalang naghiwalay yung parents namin when I was 25 and now I don't care about the whereabouts of my father. In the future if ever may lalapit, magpakilala and humingi ng support na half-siblings ko, manigas sila, I don't know them. 

[aquacharly]

Anyway, my father is getting old na. I clearly told him that i dont want to anything to do with his  children when he is no longer their anymore because they are not my responsibility! Besides their moms are still present to support them! I am the eldest by the way. Tama ba yung ginawa ko? If you were in my shoes what will you do?? I just hate the fact that i have so many siblings. Thats why siguro i hate babies kasi psychologically traumatized na ako.

Let's get the I-Hate-Babies & I-Hate-I-Have-Many-Siblings issues out of the way 1st:
       
1.  Do Not hate babies!  When these are conceived in love and with intent -- they bring the parents/family continuing joy. 
2.  Hate, instead, people who either  act like dogs or b1tches/female dogs.
(Some men are like dogs -- they f*ck any b1tch available),
(B1tch dogs give birth, and give their puppies away to be nurtured & raised by others). 
3.  Bastards are victims of irresponsible adults who can't wrap their  minds around the concept of Responible Parenthood.  Any 1 person has equal chance  to turn out good or bad, regardless whether born legitimate/natural/illegitimate .  So, hold your hatred towards the bastards until they choose to turn bad.

I know, the above is hard to just accept, coz it seems to make no sense to say to you:    Don't take it personally.



You ask: IF I WERE YOU, WHAT WOULD I DO? 

1st.    Focus on that business with my sister.  Make it grow, make it advance.  It is currently the entire extended family's bread & butter --  transform it into the goose that lays golden eggs.  That is the only feasible way to meet the big demands of the future (like an aging father requiring expensive medical intervention) --  enlarge that business.

2nd. Do not throw good money after bad.  Make everybody work to keep themselves afloat -- the b1tches, the bastards, our father.  Make it clear there are no free lunches in the world.

Top on the agenda is our father, the eternal philanderer. 
Stop being the  enabler to his sex addiction & irresponsible fatherhood  by really cutting budgeted expenses for him to the barest  of minimum.  Impress on him he MUST be more productive in earning more for the big family he created.

3rd.  Choose to support only minimally (shift the main burden of support to the b1tches) --  1 or 2 of the really deserving bastards.  I will be the 1 to choose, together with my sister, who to give a little support to. Hindi itong kung sino force on me by the irresponsible parents.  Eyes on the business!

Deserving refers to whichever bastards excel.    Survival of the fittest lang yan, in practice.

4th.   I will not get affected by emotional labels like madamot, kuripot, etc etc etc
Do not let Losers judge you, drag  you down.
Bakit mo akuhin the disasters they created? 



Yeah, all the above sure sounds rigid.
Sure, Reality sucks; but you don't have to just let it suck Life out of you. 
Do not let Losers' irresponsibility & wrong Life Choices  drag you down.
You & your sister must advance yourselves. Sumabay ang matibay sa inyo.  Take no hostages; if you do, you will become a Loser too  1 day. 


I apologize for any harshness in my tone; no offence meant.
I just really abhor this:  Misery loves/requires  company.
Abhor more:  Taking care of other people's Big Messes.
And true: May awa ang Diyos, as the oldies say.  .   
But truer, IMO is this:  God helps those who help themselves.

[babyboo.0326]

^it may sound harsh but i think that also applies to those who are our own family, and not only those who are bastards and b!tches, IMO. but yes, i agree to all these.

[airish_2]

dun ka sa komportable ka kung ayaw mong ipagpatuloy yung financial support sa kanila sakaling mawala tatay mo, wag mong ipagpapatuloy wag na tayong magpaimpokrita andun na tayo na half sister/brother mo sila pero hindi mo sila responsibilidad.

[sassa]

Thanks to all the advises sisses..

@aquacharly you are not being harsh. Thank you for the advise esp the first part, do not hate babies etc. I usually read most of your advises in gt and you are very eloquent and fair.

Another problem is all of our land titles are missing! We have a feeling that dad's former kabit stole it coz our dad does not want to give her parting money and of course she is after the security of her two kids who are still in school. What made us accuse her??? Because prior to that the kabit was requesting if she could have Baguio land as parting away gift whatever. Kapal noh? Then one day we discovered all the titles are missing!!

I am actually thinking of talking to a priest so i could accept and move on. The feeling is very hard to bear when there is too much hatred in myself. Imagine, my sister and i were mum for the last 20 years because we were afraid of our dad and we can do is accept all his wrong doings.

Now is the only time that we finally spoke up about our feelings and its causing a rift in the house. We always tell pur dad that he is very lucky because probably if we were like other kids, we would have rebelled, got pregnant early or dropped out of school etc but we chose to succeed. Probably because most of our relatives say, "nasa anak ang karma".

Growing up, that karma thing stucked into my mind and it drove me and my sister to prove them wrong. It also affected my dad big time because he used to be very strict with us esp we were both girls. I just wish that someday i wake up and everything's gonna be alright.

[iluvmysoldier]

hi TS, don't worry hindi ka nagiisa. 
my father is a certified philanderer. at 64, ang youngest bastard nya eh 5 y/o at dalawa pa yun, one was born in may and the other one in july. at dahil only child ako, hindi ko talaga sila maaccept. i remember years ago i posted pa nga here in GT na i want to kill my father dahil sa mga kalokohan nya. i think of philandering as a disease with no cure. sumuko na ko, hindi talaga sya magbabago. so eventually naimmune na ako sa mga kalokohan nya at deadma na lang. ang ginawa namin ni mother dear ay inuunti unti naming ilipat ang properties and family business sa name ko. para pagdating ng araw na mamatay si papa, kung ano man ang maiwan nya para sa "others" eh siguradong barya na lang.

now in your case, hindi mo naman sila anak so why help them? nakakafeel ka ba ng lukso ng dugo or something? they are not your responsibility, tama ka. don't bother to help nalang at baka mamihasa yang mga yan.