Still Childless

[i_am_zayda]

Mga sis, Cycle Day 50 na ako and wala pa ako AF... I am not sure if yung iba kong nararamdamang mga symptoms are part ng pregnancy or regular na PMS or something else.
Di ko alam kung mag take na ko ng PT, mejo natatakot kasi ako baka BFN. Baka hindi pa enough yung HCg kaya mag-ne-negative. Pero sa tingin nyo mga sis, pwede na ako mag-PT.
I pray positive ang result.

[sharks]

hi crzysxycl, oo nga try muna ni hubby mag meds. after medication, hindi na ba magkakaron ulit ng ng varicocele?

[crzysxycl]

^hello sis. actually hindi nawala yung varicocele, surgery kasi talaga kailangan para maalis yun. pero dahil sa meds naging OK naman ang counts ni hubby.

[maria04]

hello i am newbie here,you know what girls i can feel all your pains dahil tulad nyo wala parin kaming anak ni hubby married kami for 4 years na,tulad nyo umiiyak din ako everytime na dadating si AF,hindi ko rin napansin na 4 years na pala kami at wala pang anak,masyado kasi namin naenjoy ang isat isa,twice a week kami nalabas ni hubby shopping at date nood ng movie,hindi naman kami mayaman sakto lang buhay namin,wala rin ako work since ng ikasal kami ni hubby.as of now focus kami kay god,sana lahat tayo mabless na ni god ng baby,wag tayong mawalan ng pag asa magkaka baby din tayo someday...godbless us all

[TinyBubbles89]

Hugs Sis . We are in the same boat . Although hubby and I are in the early 20s. We are trying to conceive 2 yrs na. Syempre we are young pa so nagtataka kame wala pa din mabuo. Then last year I got an ectopic pregnancy and it really hurts for me. I was depressed lagi na lang nasa isip ko baket naman un iba na hindi kasal nabibiyayaan peo kami ng asawa ko until now wala pa. So i decided na wag ko na lang ipressure un sarili ko pero un mga SIL ko sunod sunod ang pagbubuntis nila. So bitter na naman ako, tuwing  may gathering lage na lang sinasabi samen ng asawa ko "ang hina niyo naman naunahan na kayo". Dati na kakaya ko pa ihandle yun mga ganyan banat ngayon iniiwasan ko na lang tulad ng hindi ko pagpunta sa mga happenings nila at si hubby na lang ang pumupunta.

Wag na lang tayo mawalan ng pagasa sis. Manalig na lang tayo kay God na sa tamang panahon mabibigyan din tayo. Lagi na lang tayo magpawork out sa doctor at may mga way pa naman para mabuntis tayo. Pray always sis. Baby dust for all of us.

[sharks]

I am constantly aware that each day that passes only adds up to the "still no baby" struggle. I am getting to the point of giving up hope of becoming a mother and just wants to be a parent. You see, in this stage - I am desperate to be a mother - seeing myself getting pregnant and surprising my husband with the a BFP pregnancy test. I always feel anxious, envious and depressed whenever I hear news that a friend/officemate/cousin is pregnant, seeing posts on facebook of their positive pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, etc., pictures of their little ones growing. So, I'm thinking...am I such a bad person for feeling that way? Would it take 3 years? 5 years? or 7 years before I get to experience all of that? Would I experience it all?

My husband tells me that we haven't tried enough yet to lose hope because of the fact that he works abroad (seaman) and we get to be with each other only every 9 months. But for me, everyday gets more difficult, whatever the circumstances are. I feel that it is starting to take a bit of a toll on us - as I experience frequent anxiety attacks and always feeling stressed. I even started searching for an orphanage and consider adoption, as early as now. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it until hubby gets home, but the desire is so strong that each day I feel exhausted merely thinking about it.

So, I'm trying to gauge what is more important - to be PREGNANT or be a PARENT? Have you had the same thoughts?

[sarsingkit]

I just turned 31 and no baby yet. Ang hirap pala especially if you are situated with friends na parang nagholding hands sila eh buntis na agad. Not their fault, really pero mabigat lang sa loob especially if I see my husband getting sad because of it.

[i_am_zayda]

I am getting to the point of giving up hope of becoming a mother and just wants to be a parent. You see, in this stage - I am desperate to be a mother - seeing myself getting pregnant and surprising my husband with the a BFP pregnancy test. I always feel anxious, envious and depressed whenever I hear news that a friend/officemate/cousin is pregnant, seeing posts on facebook of their positive pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, etc., pictures of their little ones growing. So, I'm thinking...am I such a bad person for feeling that way? Would it take 3 years? 5 years? or 7 years before I get to experience all of that? Would I experience it all?

I even started searching for an orphanage and consider adoption, as early as now. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it until hubby gets home, but the desire is so strong that each day I feel exhausted merely thinking about it.

Hi sis sharks while reading your post I saw myself in you. I felt the same way when every month, my AF comes at hindi na naman kami nakabuo ng husband ko. I felt yung pagiging envious, depressed pag yung mga friends ko nabuntis at inisip ko na hindi ba ako magiging mabuting nanay kaya hindi ako binibigyan ng anak? And yes in my mind, I started considering adopting muna pero hindi ko na-discuss yun sa husband ko. I felt tutal sa 1year and 8 months namin mag-asawa maybe it is still early pa to consider that. By the way sis, ilang years na ba kayo kasal and ilang taon ka na and your husband?

Ang i-aadvise ko sa iyo sis, is relax. Don't pressure yourself too hard (i know it is easier said than done because that is exactly what I felt) but malaki talagang factor ang i-pressure mo ang sarili mo. May mga ibang factors pa pala kung bakit mahirap kayo makabuo ni Mister. Kasi nga sabi mo nag-sea-seaman sya so ang gawin mo na lang pag dumating sya i-enjoy nyo na magkasama kayo. You mentioned you were searching for orphanage but hindi mo na-mention kung nagpapa-check up kayo or nagwwork-up? I think you should do that pag dumating si Mister para malaman nyo kung ano ang dapat nyong gawin.

And lastly, don't forget to pray. Pray hard. Sabi nga ask and you shall receive.

I used to be in your position, kaya don't lose hope. Maybe kaya hindi pa binibigay ni God ang gusto mo is because He is preparing you to become a better person pa. Para pag dumating na ang blessing - financially, physically, emotionally stable na kayo.

Good luck sis! I will pray for you.

[sharks]

^hi sis, i'm 32 and hubby is 33. We've been married for 2 yrs. Started TTC even before getting married. I've been going to an OB since 2010 and I just changed to my current OB last year. Nagsisimula na naman ako mag-worry kasi malapit na siya umuwi and mixed emotions na-feel ko - excited, nervous, scared all at the same time.

[i_am_zayda]

how about hubby? nag papacheck-up ba? He should be checked as well hindi lang ikaw.
As I've said before, don't lose hope. Try to relax, enjoy mo ang pag-uwi ni hubby.
Have you two considered na mag-quit si hubby as seaman para lagi kayo mag-kasama? I think you guys should set your goal. Gusto nyo ba muna maging financially stable or magka-baby na? Just some points to consider.

Anyways sis, good luck and enjoy your quality time with hubby pag-uwi nya.

[sharks]

Nagpa-check up na din si hubby and we found out na he has low sperm count (maybe) due to varicocele. He was given medication, but, since he was about to go on-board that time, ndi siya nakabalik sa urologist pero natapos niya yung pag-inom ng gamot. Pagdating niya, babalik na siya sa urologist and have it checked again. Ako din, start na ulit ako kay OB. Hopefully, everything will work out this time.

Thanks sis! good luck to you and hubby too btw, are you both working locally?

[imprincessfiona]

^Si husband nag-aabroad din yun nung bf ko pa lang sya pero nung kinasal kami we decided na maglocal employment muna sya because we prioritize to have a baby. I am 38 and he's 35. We have not consulted a doctor yet natural TTC muna kami pag wala pa din after one year magpapa-work up na kami sa doctor. Baby dust to all of us!

[i_am_zayda]

@sharks yes sis, me and hubby are working here in the Philippines. No prob sis. good luck sa inyo ni hubby. God bless!

@imprincessfiona maganda daw uminom ng folic acid pag TTC.. so inom ka nun... si hubby painumin mo sodium ascorbate. vitamins lang naman ang mga yun and supplement... good luck! God bless!

[Lurker_Man]

i have friends too that for several years of marriage childless..

here's what they did

1. Got rid of vices
2. Exercise and eating healthy food
3. They make sure both of them are relax and not stress in their intimate time. (due to work)

after several months...Boom! baby on the way! 4 yrs old na yun bata

may pag asa pa! 

[imprincessfiona]

^Thanks for sharing Lurker_Man! Really a big help maybe its just the stress and timing kaya wala pa baby boom.

[chikit]

Kame ni hubby mag 10 years na of being together pero si baby dumating lang nung ika-9th year namen.  Pagkatapos ng artificial insemination at kung ano ano pa na wala naman success.  After waiting in vain nagpakalunod ako sa trabaho tulog at ligo lang ang pahinga hanggang one day nagulat ako mag 35 na ko.  Nag usap kame ni hubby na 2014 we will try ulit natural if wala 2015 we will spend our entire savings para lang magka anak kesehoda pumunta sa Taiwan for IVF then if wala 2016 adoption.

I prayed sabi ko on my 35th birthday bigyan na ko ng anak and that I am willing to leave my career na di ko mabitawan.  I went to Dra. Aguilar check up lang history taking, 2nd balik follicle monitoring then she gave me the dates to baby dance which is during my birthday month.  After a few days on my 35th birthday hubby and I went to China to celebrate it.  Our return coincided sa date na sinabi ni Dra. Aguilar na mag PT ako and ayun na BFP.   Hindi pa kame naniwala agad, everyday nag PT kame sa umaga dalawa magkaiba kit for the next 5 days BFP talaga.  So 3rd balik namen kay Dra preggy na ko.  Wala kame ininom na gamot or wala kahit ano procedure basta nangyari na lang.

In a few days birthday ko na ulit I'll be 36 si hubby 39.  Eto si baby mag 4 months na at ako iniwan ko talaga lahat para sa kanya.

Wala imposible mga sis samahan naten ng dasal saka wag mawalan ng hope.  Darating yan when you least expect it.

[imprincessfiona]

^Thank you for sharing your story sis chikit. Nakaka-inspire sa aming mga TTC pa din. Kung talagang para sayo, ibibigay talaga sayo. Imagine normal TTC yung nangyari. Timing issue lang talaga siguro kaya hindi makabuo tulad ko nag-iba iba ang cycle ko minsan. Baby dust to all our sissies here na TTC! Sana next time BFP na ang ikukuwento ko dito.

[yannuh]

^^inspiring naman yung story mo sis chikit:)) God is good talaga:)

^sis imprincessfiona, keri lang yan. perfect timing lang talaga ang kailangan:)) i am sure before the year ends may little baby ka na in your tummy:)) sana ako din hehe:))

[cheloucustodio]

^yes nakaka inspire naman sis. congratulations for your 1st baby and sana masundan pa hehe
worth the wait talaga

[chikit]

Habang tulog si baby samantalahin ko na mag online.  I just want to share with you ang na discover namen ni Dra. Aguilar baka kase ganun din kayo.  Sa previous OB's ko nag timed baby dance din kame.  They said fertile tayo ng CD 10-15 pero ako we found out na peak na ng fertile period ko ang day 10.  It means maaga pala ang fertile period ko.  I used to follow the CD 10-15 advise ng OB saka yung mga fertility/ovulation calendar online pero wala nangyayari kase pag nag baby dance pala kame tapos na ko mag ovulate eh we usually do the baby dance ng CD 13-15 kase hindi naman advisable sa part ni hubby yun everyday baby dance ng CD 10-15 especially since low sperm count (na improve din naman yung count eventually).

You might want to check kung ganun din ang case ninyo.  Ang dami ko nasayang na pera only to find out na mali ang timing namen.