Help..How to revive yung gana sa sex

[stormy_princess]

Sis here..just want to get guy’s POV on my/our situation.

Lately, let’s see mga 3months na ata. Nawalan na ako ng gana to make love with my husband. Hindi naman ako ganito dati. Pero aminin ko nong nagkaanak kami nawala na yung thrill or should i say the fire subsides. I don’t know. Ako din tinatanong ko sarili ko. There were times na ginigising nya ako in the morning and hindi ko sya pinagbibigyan. Sobrang naguguilty ako at naaawa sa husband ko at the same time
Ayoko naman kasi makipag-do sa kanya ng wala akong gana or wala sa mood. I can’t pretend.
On the other hand naman, my husband kasi is not sweet to me naturally. Hindi rin kami tabi matulog kasi katabi ko daughter namin. And lagi din ako pagod. Parang napapansin ko nga nasasanay na sya ng ganun. Hay I don’t know what to do.
I need your help and inputs..tia

[rannastillero]

Sis Parehas tayo ng XP after i gave birth it was too hard na to do such activities with my hubby, at first naiintindihan pa nya kasi nga normal delivery masakit pero after a year and so on. parati na akong parang walang gana. never pang nangyari na ako yung nagbigay ng motives to do. Palage syang nauuna then ako parang go with the flow. mas lalo pang nagtrigger ang pagkatuod ko sa sexlife nung nagtake ako ng pills. wala ako palage sa mood. at naiinis ako kapag kumakalabit na sya sa gabi. Pero hindi ko naman intend na bitinin sya or what ang maganda lang saken is pag na start na nya susunod na ako. pero talagang pilitan pa bago makapagstart. Im so worried na nga rin.

[Scubadoobidoo]

Did you give birth 3 months ago? Your statement wasnt clear. I not sure but i think thats normal. Pero if thats not the case i think you guys just need some alone time with each other...away from all the stress and responsibilities. Maybe the two of you should take a vacation together to help rekindle the fire 

[stormy_princess]

Did you give birth 3 months ago? Your statement wasnt clear. I not sure but i think thats normal. Pero if thats not the case i think you guys just need some alone time with each other...away from all the stress and responsibilities. Maybe the two of you should take a vacation together to help rekindle the fire 

hi sis Scubadoobidoo, nope i gave birth 3yrs ago pa po. Thanks for the inputs.

[bpc_dnd]

Additional question:

What if you no longer find your wife/husband attractive (either physical or emotional or both) for you to make love/have sex? how will you stay in the marriage?

[Scubadoobidoo]

Additional question:

What if you no longer find your wife/husband attractive (either physical or emotional or both) for you to make love/have sex? how will you stay in the marriage?

It means you picked the wrong partner. 

[stormy_princess]

Sis Parehas tayo ng XP after i gave birth it was too hard na to do such activities with my hubby, at first naiintindihan pa nya kasi nga normal delivery masakit pero after a year and so on. parati na akong parang walang gana. never pang nangyari na ako yung nagbigay ng motives to do. Palage syang nauuna then ako parang go with the flow. mas lalo pang nagtrigger ang pagkatuod ko sa sexlife nung nagtake ako ng pills. wala ako palage sa mood. at naiinis ako kapag kumakalabit na sya sa gabi. Pero hindi ko naman intend na bitinin sya or what ang maganda lang saken is pag na start na nya susunod na ako. pero talagang pilitan pa bago makapagstart. Im so worried na nga rin.

buti ka nga sis pag sya nagsastart napapasunod ka. Ako as in my gosh. Minsan naloloka na ako.
I don't know really what's wrong with me:(

[Red Rack 21]

stormy_ princess,  lovemaking really slows down in any relationships. Usually kasi we are always  tired taking care of the baby and there is the dilemma of fear for the future kahit wala namang dapat isipin na ganun. i don't know if you're  like that... nagiisip kung paano palalakihin ang baby, paano na ang career if you are working..if you will you be able to cope with the demands of being a wife and a mother. of course a tired and distracted woman  is not likely to be in the mood for lovemaking. best thing you can do is try to create an atmosphere of trust with your husband...talk to him about your thoughts, your worries malay mo that simple conversation will lead you both to a great and  extended lovemaking. HTH 

[Scubadoobidoo]

I think communication is very important between a husband and a wife...provided that both parties are really honest about it. Feeling ko most problems may solutions naman

[stormy_princess]

stormy_ princess,  lovemaking really slows down in any relationships. Usually kasi we are always  tired taking care of the baby and there is the dilemma of fear for the future kahit wala namang dapat isipin na ganun. i don't know if you're  like that... nagiisip kung paano palalakihin ang baby, paano na ang career if you are working..if you will you be able to cope with the demands of being a wife and a mother. of course a tired and distracted woman  is not likely to be in the mood for lovemaking. best thing you can do is try to create an atmosphere of trust with your husband...talk to him about your thoughts, your worries malay mo that simple conversation will lead you both to a great and  extended lovemaking. HTH 

Red Rack 21, i am exactly what you said in your post. I worried a lot talaga and maybe nga its one of the causes.
One more thing na bigla ko naisip, i think i should give more time with my hubby?
I am sobrang attached with our kid kasi eh. Most of the time i wanted to be with our kid lang.

[Red Rack 21]

^am sure your husband feels isolated  kapag lagi na lang mga kids ang hinaharap mo. kaya mahirap talaga maging wife and a mother at the same time parang tayo talaga ang magdadala to make things work out at home. but it's never too late ganyan naman ang marriage may mga down moments pero may times din blissful 

[Carduran]

Sis Parehas tayo ng XP after i gave birth it was too hard na to do such activities with my hubby, at first naiintindihan pa nya kasi nga normal delivery masakit pero after a year and so on. parati na akong parang walang gana. never pang nangyari na ako yung nagbigay ng motives to do. Palage syang nauuna then ako parang go with the flow. mas lalo pang nagtrigger ang pagkatuod ko sa sexlife nung nagtake ako ng pills. wala ako palage sa mood. at naiinis ako kapag kumakalabit na sya sa gabi. Pero hindi ko naman intend na bitinin sya or what ang maganda lang saken is pag na start na nya susunod na ako. pero talagang pilitan pa bago makapagstart. Im so worried na nga rin.

i almost share the sentiment... I practically have to beg my wife to have sex... tama ba yun? Of course men have needs and wants din.

[Red Rack 21]

^ have you tried talking to your wife cardaran?

[Giri]

@OP _ I suggest pagbigyan mo paminsan minsan husband mo. Kahit pagmatagal na kayo hindi nag do, baka mamaya maghanap ng iba husband mo. Kaya payo ko lang, minsan pagbigyan mo husband mo.

Why not try reading sex stories, baka ma revive gana mo sa sex.

[rannastillero]

buti ka nga sis pag sya nagsastart napapasunod ka. Ako as in my gosh. Minsan naloloka na ako.
I don't know really what's wrong with me:(

Naku sis pilitan nga as what ive said pag nag oo ako, as in di pa talaga sexually ready.
foreplay muna then saka na ako kusang loob na bibigay. hindi yung pagka kalabit at pilit go na. minsan nga naiisip ko na sana di sya magsawa sa ganun nameng set up ngayong me anak at work na kame pareho.

[stormy_princess]

siguro nga pakonswelo na lang sa akin na understanding din yung husband ko pero kasi sympre nakakaguilty talaga lalo na at alam nananatin ang needs nilang mga lalaki.

[Scubadoobidoo]

siguro nga pakonswelo na lang sa akin na understanding din yung husband ko pero kasi sympre nakakaguilty talaga lalo na at alam nananatin ang needs nilang mga lalaki.

Remember understanding also has limits. Pag nang babae yan patay ka. You cant complain kasi sabihin nya sayo "im not getting any from you kasi!!" 

[xlammer]

ako rin paano nga ba ito. ang sa akin naman it's either pagod ako or nahihiya ako sa hubby ko. di ko nga alam kung bakit.. parang nako-conscious ako kung paano um-oo pag nagyayaya siya. ang weird naman kasi, kung magyaya siya parang nagyayaya kumain or mamalengke. parang hindi niya hinahanap yung moment. meanwhile.. parang hindi na nga din kasi dumarating yung moment. di gaya dati nung mag-bf pa lang kami, araw-araw talaga many times a day. tapos nung tumagal parang ayaw ko na.

[ms.southbound]

Communication is very important kaya dapat open kayo. Bring back the days na "Mapusok" pa kyo ng partner mo para mabalik ang spark. Always tey new things and don't be shy. It's just between you and your partner. And most importantly Your mind set is that you want to HAVE FUN.

[creativehunk]

this is just a suggestion only, okay. why dont you guys discreetly try it with a somebody else. kase, isa sa reasons ng kawalang gana sa sex eh alam na alam mo na yung move ng ka partner mo such that nagsasawa ka na ng puro ganun na lang. kung hindi man puro ganun, alam na alam mo na yung routine o kaya naman yung kayang ibigay sayo ng partner mo. kaya wala ka ng gana kase memorize mo na. with somebody else, syempre nandun yung kaba mo na gagawin mo yun not with your partner that makes it a little exciting. di ba sabi nga, "kung ano yung bawala, yun ang masarap". besides that, hindi mo alam kung ano gagawin sayo ng bago mong kapartner at baka may bagong kiliti sayo sa ma discover nya. in that way mapalabas nya yung hilig at gana mo sa sex. of course kailangan bukod sa discreet ito alam mo rin kung kelan ka hihinto dito. otherwise, kung hindi ka naniniwala sa sinasabi ko, baka naman you fell out of love na sa ka partner mo. yun lang naman yun kaya nawala gana mo sa pakikipag sex sa kanya. hindi dahil sa pagod ka lang o stressed sa work.