... when you try to put as many choices at one time... nabawasan ang pagka special nya (to you) since you made her an OPTION.
I just wanna add. To a certain extent, yes, you are making him/her an option. However, after mo sya napili, doesn't it make her special na sya pinili mo after looking at everyone else?
Ultimately, if you do it one at a time, ganun rin naman yun. Minsan nga mas hindi pa special yung pangalawa or pangatlong id-date mo. Kasi isipin mo, dinedate mo yung una kasi you want her to be special. So special sya. Pero things did not work out. So lipat ka naman sa number 2 option mo. To make her feel special, sa kanya ka lang naka focus. Then isip ni number 2, siniryoso mo talaga si number 1, baka andun pa ang feelings mo for her. So ano iisipin ngayon ng mga second, third etc na dine-date mo, option lang din sila at hindi mo naging priority kasi hindi naging successful yung mga better options mo?
@Girltalker2
bro po ako, mali ba nasa profile ko? hehe!
haha, sorry bro, di ko napansin.
kung itong multiple dating ihalintulad natin sa pinoy style courting... same pa rin ba opinions nyo?
one guy... courting different women... di natin alam how will he choose which one to be his GF kung nagkataong sinagot sya ng more than one woman. Maybe pipiliin nya yung unang sasagot sa kanya. Or maybe... hihintayin nya sagutin sya ng lahat then piliin nya pinakagusto nya. Or wag na lang pumili and let each love die a natural death... matira matibay... isn't it the same thing?
Hindi the same kasi may commitment dapat na involved sa panliligaw stage? says who?
BRO (hehe ayan tama na), iba ang panliligaw sa multiple dating, at lalong iba ang nanliligaw ng more than one. Nung bata bata pako, siguro naniniwala pako sa panliligaw. Pero now that I am much more
aware of the real world, I find panliligaw very flawed. And I think, this maybe one of the reasons why ang pambabae hindi mo na maiaalis sa dugo ng Pinoy, kung maalis mo man, mahirap.
Pag nanligaw ka kasi, you have set your mind on 1 person without really knowing the person. Sasabihin mo in love ka etc etc but it is all in your mind. Di mo sya nakilala nang husto. At sa babae, kinikilatis nga nya dapat ang manliligaw, pero since the guy has his best foot forward, magugustuhan din sya ng babae. Kaya nga ang term siguro nyan eh nanliLIGAW - parang liniligaw ka ano ba talaga ang personality nung kabilang party at bahala ka kung paano mo ma figure out or mahulaan, kung tumpak o hindi. It is like a gamble.
Sa pagliligaw, kapag sinagot na sya ng girl then it will progress into a relationship. We have to understand na kaya niligawan ni lalaki si babae is because of superficial characteristics na nakikita mo lang externally. Kasi di pa nga nya lubos na kilala yung girl, and yet he made the bold move to profess I LOVE YOU. Puedeng naririnig nya sabi sabi ano ang personality ni babae. Pero hindi pa nya alam if there is a chemistry between them. YEs he can feel butterflies in his stomach, pero yung interaction, etc. wala lahat yun.
So, this is why I think men who go through this panliligaw without getting to know the girl is prone to infidelity. Because later, they will find something na wala sa partner nya at di na sya makaatras as nanligaw na sya, nagsabi ng I love yo, nag profess. Samantalang, later may na meet sya na mas ka-click nya, na mas may chemistry. That is the problem.
Second point naman, I believe din na in dating more men/women, you can also know and understand yourself more. What are your likes/dislikes, your taste, do you prefer a romantic partner - negotiable ba iyan sa iyo or something non-negotiable or can you live without it. Things like that. If you only limit yourself to 1 person because of her physical attributes (nanliligaw), it limits your knowledge on the opposite sex - maybe I am wrong here, pero sa girl's perspective, ito ang pananaw ko - kapag nilimit ko ang sarili ko sa 1 guy, di ko masyado naiintindihan pa what men are like. So kung di mo alam, mas mahirap magmaintain ng successful relationship at mas hindi ka willing mag adjust for the other person, kasi nga di mo naiintindihan.
about sis Girltalker2, dating only one, chose it and became husband but ended sour... should you blame yourself for not dating many guys? kahit marami pa pamimilian mo noon kahit sabay sabay pa... may mapipili kang isa na you think better sa lahat at papakasalan mo may end up the same thing rin... Ang dami pa dinaanan ng relationship nyo... naging mag Bf/Gf pa kayo... naging engaged kayo before getting married and yet di mo nakita ang problem nya? Isn't the problem more of marrying too soon?
yup, we went through the normal courtship, bf/gf, engagement, wedding, children. we did not marry too soon as we were bf/gf for at least 10 years. we were childhood sweethearts. waited for the right time, and followed what was the norm.
hindi ko nakita? yes hindi ko nakita because he was not like that during courtship. aba, after the wedding, dun na sya nagbago. feeling nya conquered na nya ako, so ok na to have other women. pero before marriage, my friends used to tell me how lucky I was because I had him wrapped around my little finger. and mind you, I think he changed. in hindsight, iniisip ko, if I had understood men more, I may have chosen another guy OR I might have chosen him, but would have known how to take care of him more such that hindi na sya naghanap ng iba. but I did not know any better. Iniisip ko lang just like any other virgin brides to be na never sya mags-stray.
