I broke up with my ex but I'm regretting now.. Need advice:(

[BaBy.DoLL]

Guys i need your help.. My bf ako for 3 years and i broke up with him that time na pareho kaming down.. Naghahanap ako ng work nun and siya naging kampante na sakin na inaasa niya lahat pati sa paghahanap ng work.. I felt na tamad siya talaga at parang wala akong aasahang future sa knya kc hindi talaga siya nagsisikap and besides sobrang mama's boy siya only son kasi..

That was june last year tapos hinabol niya ko at tinaboy ko sya:'( kasi my nkakilala ko akala ko mas ok.. Nadala ako sa mga sinabe nia nafall ako.. In short naging kami.. Pero lagi pa din nagpaparamdam yung ex ko nun.. And then one day narealize ko nalang na mahal ko pala talaga yung ex ko.. Bumabalik ako sa kanya ngayon.. Sobrang nagsisisi kasi ako.. Ang sabe niya friendship lang dw ang kaya niya ioffer sa ngayon.. Actually nagyayaya pa din siya na lumabas kami at magkita kaya lang kasi hindi ko alam kung aasa pa ako pero feel ko na concern pa din siya sa akin.. At kung my iba man siya parang hindi naman niya aaminin.. Help me guys hindi ko na alam gagawin ko.. My chance pa ba kami? Dapat ba sumama pa ko o totally magmove on na? Kasi araw araw ako nagsisisi...

[sixteen16]

Ramdam na ramdam kita sa nakipagbreak ka nung parehas kayong down.. Na umaasa lang sayo si bf. Naintindihan kita don.  Napagdaanan ko din yan.  Nag-isip muna ko ng maraming beses kung tama ba hiwalayan ko sya dahil lang puro "ako". Kahit ngayon yan pa din problema ko sa kanya pero hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa pa.  Nasa pag-uusap yan. Don natetest ang isang relationship. Pagsubok lang sa sa inyo. Ask ko lang sis gaano na kayo katagal na wala? I think nakamove-on na sya sis. Did you try to ask him for a 2nd chance? Alam ba nya nagkaroon ka ng bf after nya? Posible pa kayo magkabalikan kung hindi ka nagkaroon ng bf after nya. Alam mo naman ang mga lalaki mapride.. Kapag lumalabas kayo, ano ang ginagawa nyo?

[jaymejorrol]

@BaBy.DoLL: ouch.. baliktad.. ikaw naman ang naghahabol.. tsk tsk.. sayang ang 3 years.. pero di kita masisisi kasi future nyo ang nakataya.. same kayong down.. pero di naman ata tama na kampante si boy na i-asa sayo ang pagwowork.. dapat sya ang mas magsikap..

for me sis.. although i know mahal mo pa si boy.. mas lamang sa isip ko yung move on! future mo ang mas isipin mo.. humanap ng someone na makakatulong mo talaga sa buhay (yung may plano sa buhay).. kasi kahit anong love, kagwapuhan or attitude meron ang guy.. pero alam mong wala kayong future and aasa lang sayo.. mas better na wag nalang.. kasi for sure, masasapawan lang ng pagkainis at pagkabagot ang love, kagwapuhan at attitude nya kung nakita mong hirap na hirap na pamilya mo (just imagine..) i know mahal mo si boy, kaso friendship lang daw kaya nya ibigay? not good..

@sixteen16: honestly speaking, dati din akong umasa sa gf ko.. nun college kami.. sya madalas gumagastos sakin.. but pinakitaan ko sya ng effort.. kung sinusoportahan nya ko financialy, tinutulungan ko naman sya sa pag-aaral nya.. give and take lang.. and ito, same working na kami.. and tama ka napaguusapan talaga.. and who knows, makaraos din si bf mo like me.. as long as nakikitaan mo din sya ng effort.. pero pag wala lang.. petiks lang.. tamad din.. ibang usapan na yun..

regarding sa puro nalang ikaw.. walang masama kung puro ikaw ang inaasahan as long as nakikiitaan mo naman sya ng effort na nagpupursige makatulong.. but sa situation ni BaBy.DoLL, naging kampante kasi si boy which is not good.. kaya nag-arrive tuloy si BaBy.DoLL sa decision na iwanan si boy..

[quitipierose]

sis e felt that before pero until now actually i felt guilty talaga
pero syempre move on move on din... siguro like me nakokonsensya
ka lang din... try mo ituon yung self mo sa ibang bagay...

[sixteen16]

i agree jaymejorrol.. kung nakikitaan naman ng effort sige go lang pero kung talagang wala as in nakaasa lang sayo tamang desisyon yan and move on.. ilang taon na ba si bf, sis baby.doll?

sa case ko kasi nung hindi na ako binibigyan ng allowance ng parents ko naging shaky yung relationship namin and i decided na makipagbreak pero hindi sya pumapayag and magbabago na daw sya so ang sinagot ko "just prove it".. nakitaan ko naman ng effort so ang set-up namin ngayon is sya bahala sa household chores at ako sa mga gastusin.. 9 years na kami, nakikita ko naman sa kanya talaga yung effort .. and now may small business kami at sobra talaga syang hands-on..  happy naman ako.. nasa tamang pag-uusap talaga yan and minsan pagsubok lang talaga sa isang relationship.

[Chinito]

Don't give up on Love so easily, sa mga oras na nararanasan niyo being depress and feeling down the more na dapat niyong isipin na maswerte kayo at magkasama pa kayo.

Actually diyan tumitibay ang samahan ng isang couple, mga times you need to reach each others arm and support, times that you need more understanding and love, mga panahon na dapat napapag usapan niyo ng maayos ang kailangan i achieve. ang isang relasyon ay isang risky na  partnership, you'll have to entrust everything you have even though you think that you're in the losing end. pag mahal ang isang tao ang laging mong pananaw sa buhay ay  " Bahala na si Batman".. 

Try to deal with your own issues muna then when you are ready, talk to him. sabihin mo lahat ng mga nagawa mo, lahat ng nararamdaman mo, sabihin mo kung gaano mo siya kamahal. wag kang mag hold back sa nararamdaman mo. let it go, cry if needed as long na sincere ka sa mga sasabihin mo he will definitely feel it... Minsan diyan tayo nagkaka problema. Yung pag hohold back ng mga nararamdaman at sasabihin sa isang tao... kaya mo yan BF/GF pa lang yan di pa kayo mag asawa.

[shanghai baby]

It takes a man and a woman ika nga dba, it takes two mature people to make a relationship work.
You have to take responsibility and learn to accept the consequences of your choice. But shouldn't it be a consolation somehow that perhaps your decision then, although it may have hurt another soul, has helped him realize that he needs to work on his shortcomings. You have to respect his choice and isn't it admirable that instead of taking advantage of your vulnerability, of your feelings for him, he decides to be honest enough to let you know that he just wants to be friends? If you still love him, take a chance again by reciprocating what he wants - friendship. Be there for him. Be the supportive friend that he lost then when he was still "kampante". But you have to prepare yourself for the outcome - whether favorable or negative.

[aquacharly]

BABYDOLL. 

What I have learned:     Love cannot be forced.
                                    Love exists in various ways & intensities.   
                                    Love  offers no guarantees.

Will you play footsies with your ex again, who has declared:  we can only be friends now?
Do you wanna gamble? Will you survive a loss?
If you say "yes" to both, then go play footsies with your ex again.
Pero hwag kang iiyak ha pag talagang you can't level up to something more than friendship pagtingin nya sa yo.

You gotta consider that: yes, he may love you still. But what love remains in him for you may  no longer be enough for a long-run commitment. 
     

[iseenessie]

Hi TS!

I have been in your situation before. Ang weird pa nyan is that three years din na naging kami.

Back then, ako yung nagsupport sa aming pareho. He never lifted a finger. He didn't even try na maghanap ng work. So after a while, hindi ko na kinaya, I walked away.

I never regretted that decision. I never even thought of him anymore.

I realized that if he really loved me, then he will try. It doesn't matter if he fails lagi. Basta nakita ko lang na sumubok sya. Because if he really loved me, he wouldn't be able to stand seeing me in that position. Na I am working hard and worrying about all the bills while he is very comfortable watching movies and playing video games.

My advice for you is to not look back. I know it is hard. But it was once so hard for me to walk away. I am sure you heard of this movie called The Perks of a Wallflower. There is this famous line in that movie that goes "We accept the love we think we deserve." I want you to think really hard. Was that the kind of love that you deserved? Is that the kind of love that you still deserve? Sure, there might be this remote possibility na he changed. But there is also a possibility na he didn't.

And also, it might be possible na you are feeling like that because he is always around. And that makes you remember all the good stuff. But remember that there are always two sides of the story. You just remember the good stuff now. How about you look back on the ugly stuff naman? You know, just to remind yourself why you guys broke up? Maybe that can change your perspective.

[lex_mom]

I was also the one who called it quits on my fiance of almost 3 years. I left him back in March, pregnant pa with my first baby.

Sis, mahirap talaga magsisi but just think about the reasons you had when you were so sure of breaking things up with your ex. Use them to fuel yourself to move on. Focus on yourself and make the best version of YOU. I'm sure when you are done you will meet the best person who can make you completely happy, yung tipong hindi kana ever mapapalingon sa iba.

Have faith in yourself, sis. Konting panahon lang para sa sarili mo and you will see that you are capable of standing up for yourself and sticking to your earlier decision.

Good luck!

[Scubadoobidoo]

I think tama naman decision mo to break up with him. I mean love and all that jazz is fine on the silver screen pero pag partner mo tamad ibang usapan yun. Love can only get you that far pero at the end of the day its still cash that pays the bills.

[iamnurse]

I can relate. I am feeling the same. Well, almost.

I broke up with him 3 years ago for a reason. Humabol din sya but I ignored him. I had a relationship after him, we lasted for 2 and a half years. But during nung relationship ng pinalit ko sakanya, sya ang standard ko, nacocompare ko sakanya which I know is not good. Dati may communication pa kami but when he had a girlfriend, he stopped. Now, I realized that I still want him and it's him I want to spend my life with. But, I think he already moved on But I don't want to regret or have what ifs when I grow old, so I'm thinking of telling him still. Is that a good idea?

[Scubadoobidoo]

Nasa huli ang pag sisi talaga. Thats why you never break up with anyone without thinking about it carefully. You just have to live with the regret for the rest of your life.

[switblububbles]

I can relate. I am feeling the same. Well, almost.

I broke up with him 3 years ago for a reason. Humabol din sya but I ignored him. I had a relationship after him, we lasted for 2 and a half years. But during nung relationship ng pinalit ko sakanya, sya ang standard ko, nacocompare ko sakanya which I know is not good. Dati may communication pa kami but when he had a girlfriend, he stopped. Now, I realized that I still want him and it's him I want to spend my life with. But, I think he already moved on But I don't want to regret or have what ifs when I grow old, so I'm thinking of telling him still. Is that a good idea?

Hi sis...If I were in your shoes and you're sure about your feelings, I will tell him. But be ready with the reality that he doesnt feel the same way anymore...
Atleast you will have no what ifs in the future... Goodluck!

[baliwsayo]

Why? May work na ba siya ngayon? Is he well off now?

[iamnurse]

Hi sis...If I were in your shoes and you're sure about your feelings, I will tell him. But be ready with the reality that he doesnt feel the same way anymore...
Atleast you will have no what ifs in the future... Goodluck!

Yun nga sis. Kaya I'm taking my time to make sure. I want to make sure para pag sinabi ko sakanya, whatever he says, whatever he feels, maging ready na ako. I am hoping for the best but I want to be ready for the worst

[secretzzz]

@ iamnurse

sabihin mo kung ano yung nararamdaman mo sakanya!!! ang makakasagot lang nun ay siya. kung sure ka nanaman sa nararamdaman mo e! ok yan. malay mo parehas lang kayo nararamdaman.. kung mahal ka pa nun. babalik yun sayo kahit sino pa gf nun!!

kung mangyari yun, ingatan mo nalang.. Kasi naman mga girls e! haha tska lang nila nare2alize ang halaga nung tao kapag nawala na sakanila..

 

[iamnurse]

@ iamnurse

sabihin mo kung ano yung nararamdaman mo sakanya!!! ang makakasagot lang nun ay siya. kung sure ka nanaman sa nararamdaman mo e! ok yan. malay mo parehas lang kayo nararamdaman.. kung mahal ka pa nun. babalik yun sayo kahit sino pa gf nun!!

kung mangyari yun, ingatan mo nalang.. Kasi naman mga girls e! haha tska lang nila nare2alize ang halaga nung tao kapag nawala na sakanila..

 

Hahaha! Oo nga eh. We girls kasi sometimes based our decisions on what and how we are feeling at the time that decision was made and then, kapag di napag isipan mabuti, we'll regret it. Like me

[pret_ty68]

@ iamnurse

Sabihin mo na sis habang hindi pa huli ang lahat kung ganun din nararamdaman nya e di maganda kung hindi naman at least wala kang regret or "what ifs" kasi gumawa ka nang paraan para magkabalikan kayo.

[pret_ty68]

^
Right sis. Pride nga ang number one cause kung bakit hindi na nagkakabalikan ang iba even if they love each other. It is a common scenario that when couples break up they wait on who will make the first move,but because of pride no one does, then later on when it is already too late they will regret that they let the person go easily. Sabi nga "Love is worth fighting for" so fight for it as long as there is no legal impediment. Don't wait for them to be married before you act since if that happens it is already a sin before the eyes of God and man kung pumatol ka pa sa kanya.