AFTER BREAK UPS

[mimiku]

Moving on is a process. There is no definite time when exactly you will be healed. There will be moments you are sure that you have already moved on until another memory comes back and then you are flung back to ground zero again. When my ex broke up with me, I was devastated. Naghabol ako until napagod ako. It was difficult at first but I never deactivated my account nor unfriended him in FB. He was the one who deleted me after 2 weeks. LOL. Honestly, it took a while to forget him. Kahit hindi na kami friends sa FB inistalk ko siya. Ang rason ko kasi, I needed to see the truth- as in in-your-face-truth that he was an assh*le for cheating on me. It was the only way for me to open my eyes on how he treated me badly - because back then, I still couldn't forget him as I was in denial that he was at fault why our relationship ended. For a few months, I blamed myself for our fallout. Of course, pati yung babae na pinalit niya sa akin inistalk ko din. Sinanay ko sarili ko na makita yung mga pictures nila, until one day, naumay ako at nagsawa. Napalitan ng galit yung pangungulila ko until I became apathetic and felt I no longer gave a damn on them.

What I did was to travel, explore and magpaganda. Ganoon naman usually ginagawa ng mga girls (pansin ko lang). Super effort sa pagpapaganda talaga. I never entered any relationship later. It took me 5 long years before I accepted another guy in my life. I realized na tama talaga everything happens for a reason. Now, tinatawanan ko na lang yung mga katangahan ko dati and I'm glad he was the one who pushed me away. Wala akong future sa kanya. My fiance now, I know I have a future with him. I love him and we both have the same goals and aspirations sa buhay. Ladies, if your respective relationships ended badly it means God is saving you from a greater disaster. Trust me, God wants you to be with another man- a better man.

On a side note, pansin ko lang may pattern talaga kapag ang isang babae eh heartbroken noh? Some of them really deactivate their FB. Ganyan mga friends ko. I don't know why because I did not deactivate my account. Ako kasi, FB was one of my source of self-realization. Pero syempre kanya kanyang technique yan.

[lesters_gal]

^Sis totoo yung sinabi mo. 3 months ago, i thought i was ok na. I don't stalk him anymore sa fb, sa whatsapp. i deleted his number na. Like you, gusto ko rin makita what he is up to. Nung una nasasaktan ako sa mga new girls na nag lilike ng pics niya and vice versa. Then eventually napagod na ako. So i stop stalking him. I told myself bakit my magagawa pa ba ako? It's been a year since we broke up. So malabo na talaga. Then my birthday came, june.. kahit papano nag expect ako na he will text me. Sabi ko kay god, kapag hindi niya ako grinit meaning he's with someone na. Natapos ang birthday ko wala akong message na nareceive from him. So sabi ko ok thats the sign na. Wag na umasa. Then last july my cousin message me. Naka save kasi yung number ng ex ko sa phone niya. She saw the status of my ex in whatsapp greeting me nung birthday ko like "i didnt forget. Happy birthday".  Grabe nung nakita ko yun, sobrang naiyak nanaman ako.  He didnt delete the status for one and half month. Kung hindi dahil sa pinsan ko hindi ko makikita yun. Kasi nga i deleted his number na.
 
Ayun lahat ng pain bumalik nanaman. Cry me a river nanaman ang peg ko. Pero inisip ko its just a greeting. Walang ibang ibig sabihin nun. Pero ngayon nga para nanaman akong t**** na super stalked sa kanya. At parang namimiss ko sha.. kaya eto back to zero nanaman ako. Wala akala ko kasi ok na ako. Pero hindi pa pala. I felt like im such a loser kasi its been a year na, im sure sha nakapag move on. And samantalang ako eto ganito parin. Same tayo sis, wala akong gana mag enentertain ng ibang lalake sa ngayon. Sabi ko nga kailangan na ba lumabas ako with other men para mawala na sha totally sa system ko. Pero hindi ko pa talaga carry eh.

But when i read your post sis parang nabuhayan ako na normal lang to, and its not a competition kung sino nauna mag move on or hindi. Kasi iba2x tayo the way we handle our emotions.  And yung last part ng post mo, yun nalang ang iniisip ko na everything happens for a reason, and god is saving me from the wrong one. Kasi our break up is really bad. Nawalan ako ng confidence sa sarili ko. Basta  as in durog na durog ako nung naghiwalay kami. I dont even know kung kelan ako mabubuo uli. I miss my old self actually.  Iniisip ko nalang god has better plans for me. Wag lang ako magmadali...  i just have to trust him.

Thanks sis mimiku, grabe nabuhayan ako sa post mo..malaking realization talaga..thanks sissy.😊

[mimiku]

^Hi Lesters_gal, don't worry you'll get by eventually. It took me a year and a half to admit to myself, he was not coming back and a couple of months to realize he was not for me. Love is something you can't let go immediately. Hindi yan parang physical pain na kapag nagamot mo na, mawawala na yung discomfort and torment. It's more of a scar, wherein you get to be reminded all over and over again. It's only normal. Why? He became a part of your life. You had a deep and intimate relationship with him. You can never learn how to unlearn caring for someone, I guess there will always be some remnants of your feelings for him even 10 years from now. You cannot forget the memories unless you get yourself an amnesia. What more if it's only a year di ba? So take your time, don't ever blame yourself if you can't get over him immediately. Cry, stalk if you like, soon you'll grow tired and then realizations will come forward. But of course, don't wallow. Make sure you take time to grow and explore - travel, eat, pray (believe me these things work 100%).

And yes, it is not a competition who wins the heartbreak-moving-on race. You will be in pain again once mabalitaan mo na may gf or ikakasal na siya pero normal lang yan I tell you. Mashoshock ka lang sa una and then eventually you will accept it. So ianticipate mo na lang na ganun ang mangyayari eventually.

One thing also that you could do is to focus on his bad attitude and remind yourself all over and over again that things will not work out with both of you in the long run. I am not saying you should hate him, but consider the factors as to why you broke up in the first place. Some people are not meant to be together because they will just destroy each other's lives if they end up getting married. Madami ng instances na ganyan. Isipin mo na lang, like I said that God is saving you from a greater heartache and he has someone better for you.

[lesters_gal]

^yes sis yun din yung iniisip ko all the bad things he did when we were together na sobrang ikinasakit ng loob ko. And the worst part is, he never say sorry sa lahat ng ginawa niya. What an *censored* indeed. hay, buhay, ill just follow your advice sis. Sana one day totally mawala na sha sa system ko. Kasi until now, not a day goes by na hindi ko sha iniisip. Ewan ko ba. Siguro ganun talaga kapag sobrang minahal mo yung tao, tapos sobrang sinaktan ka rin niya. Wala akong ibang pinagdadasal ngayon na sana maka move on na ako sa kanya, yung tipong hindi na sha sasagi sa isip ko.

Sis how did you know that you're ready to fall inlove again? kasi ako feeling ko gusto ko na ayaw ko. Gusto ko para makalimutan sha, pero wala naman ako sa mood to dress up para makipag mingle with other men.

[mimiku]

^Ako kasi dear umikot dati ang mundo ko sa ex ko so when we broke up I promised to focus on myself muna. Of course with all of those issues that I needed to resolve within (my self-esteem was totally damaged as well as my confidence) not to mention I was struggling to revive my career before, I thought of giving myself a 1 year break. May mga nireto sa akin, nagtry naman na makipagchat kaso after a few days nawalan ako gana (nakakatawa nga kasi isa sa mga nireto sa akin eh yung fiance ko na ngayon na noon eh di ko pinansin dahil busy ako sa pagmomove on...LOL... Anyway that is another long story). Pero like I said, hindi mo talaga kasi pwedeng maplano ang pagmomove on. I even had to take anti-depressants because I couldn't really managed the pain anymore. After a while, I learned to let him go and then proceeded to focus with travelling and career. Then after 3 years kinilig ulit ako sa isang guy who turned out to be a playboy. So I sort of binasted ko siya or di pinansin afterwards. Ayaw ko nang masaktan ulit kasi. Naging mapili talaga ako sa mga lalake.

Alam mo sa totoo lang magkakaiba ang tao, pwedeng sayo after a few months baka maramdaman mong ready ka na ulit. Pwede ring ilang taon pa. Ang senyales lang is, you want a guy not because gusto mong makalimutan ex kundi dahil ramdam mong gusto mong maging masaya na. And you know what, mararamdaman mo kapag nakita mo na siya. Sometimes, totoo yung nasa movies na bigla ka na lang magkakaroon ng kutob like alam mo na nakita mo na yung para sayo. Magdasal ka lang. God will answer your prayer when he sees that you are ready to meet the love of your life. Ako right after I gave up, tsaka naman niya binigay yung taong mamahalin at magmamahal ulit sa akin. Kaya just keep on living. Kaya mo yan, sabi ko sayo kahit gaano kasakit yan, time and God will help you heal all your wounds. Hope this helps.

[lesters_gal]

^sabi nga nila kapag naranasan mo na daw talaga yung super sakit na heartbreak, dun mo na daw makikilala yung the one mo.  Well i guess mukhang totoo nga kasi like what happened to you sis, after dun sa ex mo, dun na dumating si fiance mo. Sana ako din  ganun din ang mangyari. I'm trying my best now to be patience and let things unfold on their own. I'm keeping the faith. Thank you sis for the time. It's a big help talaga..😘😊

[TomHansen]

^ sana nga sis para we have something we can look forward too.. Hays lss na ako sa where do broken hearts go, kahapon nakanta ko yung line na yan tinawanan ako ng katrabaho ko.

[lesters_gal]

^let's be positive sis... it will happen din soon.  Mag pray lang tayo. 🙏

Sis same tayo nung bagong break kami yan din ang LSS ko. Tapos ngayon somewhere down the road na...lol

[TomHansen]

^ guy po ako.

Somewhere down the road ibig sabihin umaasa ka pang magkabalikan kayo?

[purple.strawberry]

I don't stalk my exes because I believe na it will only prolong the hurt. Tempted, yes, pero di ko ginagawa. Pero kung [textspeak!]-ano ginagawa ko. The first time I was heartbroken, ayun palaging nakikipag-inuman after office, punta sa bar ganito ganyan. The second time namundok ako, tried meditation etc etc. Months after breakup pag nagkakabalita pa din ako lalo na if nalalaman ko na okay sila siyempre merong kurot, pag ganun pinagdadasal ko na lang. Lumilipas din naman. All heartbreaks eventually fade away, in time. Basta hindi na kukutkutin ang sugat.

[lesters_gal]

^ay sorry bro ka pala tom hansen.😜 hindi na. Pero wala lang iniimagine ko lang.lol.

[lesters_gal]

Read this article mga sis...

http://www.yourtango.com/200939148/bad-breakup-10-things-remember

[akosimaiatot]

It can be difficult to leave a long-term relationship, even when our inner-wisdom tells us it's time to let go. At this point, we can choose to let go and endure the intense pain of leaving behind the familiar to make way for a new chapter in our life. Or we can stay and suffer a low-grade pain that slowly eats away at our heart and soul, like an emotional cancer. Until we wake up, one day and realize, we are buried so deep in the dysfunction of the relationship that we scarcely remember who we were and what we wanted and needed to be.. moving on is really a process its either you go straight forward to make your route a little bit shorter or turn around in circles until mapagod ka but either way you need to let go and move forward not because you needed to but because its the only choice that you have

[TomHansen]

Ako napagod na sa kakaisip kung bakit kami naghiwalay, I'm starting to let it go na lang instead of asking myself kung ano ang nagawa ko or di ko nagawa kaya kami nagbreak - wala nang ring point since my ex is already moving on ako na lang ang may gustong magkaayos kami.. 

Stop asking yourself why you guys broke up, just move on...

[mindiegirl]

^exactly. Sometimes kaya di maka move on, naka focus sa what went wrong. Its fine to identify lang once. Wav na masyadong paka isipin. Sure thing is one of you gave up kaya nag break up.

[px17]

Sisters! Advice naman ano dapat kong sabihin sa bestfriend ko.

Around 12:30 AM kasi tinawagan niya ko, nakailang hello na ako pero hindi siya nagsasalita pero I can here yung background. Nung sinabi ko lang "uy magsalita ka! kinakabahan ako" dun lang siya nagsalita. Grabe she was crying as in hagulgol! Nagkwento na siya na muntik na siyang mamatay dahil inagaw ng ex-gf niya yung manubela. Break na sila for almost 1 year and nagkita sila today kasi may event from same group of friends nilang dalawa. Pinagsasabunutan at sasampal daw siya while driving. Aside sa other issues nila, isang reason bakit sila nagbreak ay nanakit yung girl. And to make it clear, my friend is bisexual they been together for 2 years. Gusto niya daw magsumbong pero hindi niya alam kung kanino..hindi kasi alam sakanila sexual preference niya. Nung umpisa okay naman yung gf niya pero after ilang months parang na-obess ata sakanya. Yung tipong magkaron lang kami ng overnight group review, sinasabi ni girl na magpapakamatay siya pag hindi umuwi yung friend ko. (imagine nasa qc kami tapos taga taguig friend ko pano uuwi yun ng madaling araw diba). 

Naubos na ata payo ko I really don't know what to say. Alam ko para sakin madali kong sabihin na move on or tama na kasi wala naman ako sa sitwasyon niya. Minsan nga gusto ko nga tawagan kapatid niya pero ayaw ko naman siya pangunahan.

[geraldita03]

kumusta na kayo ngayon sisters?

ako eto after 4 months ng break up, survive pa din. 6 years din kami ng ex ko. first bf ko siya. college sweethearts kami. after college, pursue siya ng med at ako nag work naman. i blame LDR and influences sa bagong mga kaibigan niya kaya kami nag break. i've heard he is trying to mend his failed grades. kasi naman after namin nag break, para siyang ibon na nakawala sa cage free na free. inom and party and bongga ang absences niya sa med school. siya pala nakig break. right after break up, grabe ang sakit talaga. zombie talaga ang peg. recently, he keeps messaging me on fb. nagpapansin. pero seen ko lang. kasi naman ayoko maging option. ayoko ng laro2. and ayoko din isipin niya na ok lang sa akin ang ginawa niya na sinaktan niya ako. sabi ko sa sarili ko na, "kung gusto niya talaga ako, he will make an effort to win me back again. you can never change a person kaya observe muna. let go and let God din. mas masakit kasi pag pinipilit mo ang gusto mong mangyari kaya trust God's will talaga."

[mysterioza_me]

^^Wala ka ng magagawa para sa friend mo sis, most likely naipayo mo na lahat. Walang makaka-resolve ng problema niya kung hindi sarili niya. Mananawa ka kabibigay ng advice pero siya pa din ang masusunod sa bandang huli kaya hayaan mo nalang muna siya. Nageenjoy siguro siya na sinasaktan siya kasi wala siyang ginagawa para di na maulit. Uunahin mo pa ba ang hiya dahil sa sexual preference mo kesa protektuhan ang buhay mo?

^Stay strong sis. Tama ka na wag mo gawin madali para sa kanya ang lahat para kung magkaayos kayo magdalawang-isip siya gumawa ng kalokohan dahil hindi ka niya nakuha agad. Grabe siya, ngayon na everything is falling apart sa buhay niya bigla ka niyang naalala pero nung nageenjoy siya hiniwalayan ka niya.

[three8one]

"kung gusto niya talaga ako, he will make an effort to win me back again. you can never change a person kaya observe muna."

curious lang ako. giving him a chance na mag effort ng bonggang bongga means gusto mo rin naman magkabalikan kayo at nag hohold back ka lang o undecided pa, tipong depende sa effort? kasi naisip ko lang, kung ayaw mo na sa guy baliktarin man nya ang mundo, mapaputi man nya ang uwak sa pag effort, kiber mo diba? ayaw mo na eh. wala ka ng pake sa mga gagawin pa nya. bakit mo pa siya pag eeffortin? kung gusto mo naman sya, bakit hindi na lang magpatawad at makalimut sa mga hindi magandang nakaraan at magsimula uli ng panibago?

accept, forgive and forget.. start a new one.

[mysterioza_me]

kung gusto mo naman sya, bakit hindi na lang magpatawad at makalimut sa mga hindi magandang nakaraan at magsimula uli ng panibago?

accept, forgive and forget.. start a new one.

Ok yan bro pero ang mahirap kasi sa ganyan iisipin ni guy na ok lang pala yung ginawa ko. Magsosorry lang pala ako tatanggapin na ako agad. Walang kahirap-hirap. Iba kapag pinaghirapan makuha kasi inaalagaan na.