Author Topic: On Long Term Relationships  (Read 35679 times)

Carecare

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #120 on: June 14, 2017, 02:26:18 pm »
^^^sis kll i read your posts since mejo same situation tayo before. I was an OFW din recently lang then after a year of being away from my long term bf (like 9yrs as of today), mejo nagstruggle kami. Nagaaway din kami parang kau kasi mahirap talaga LDR. Yun tipong pag di sya nagreply agad, i get mad agad agad. Ako yun madalas na nagagalit kasi katwiran ko mas mahirap ang situation ko dahil magisa lang ako. In fairness to my bf, mas naging super understanding pa sya and mas nagallot sya ng time for me. Which i think is the weird thing on your situation since natitiis ka ni bf na di replyan for days. I know that struggle. Super hirap nyan. So dumating kami sa point na umuwi ako sa pinas for vacation then we got married haha ura urada din hahaha dahil super hirap talaga and we felt like mas naging love namin isat isa nun mag LDR kami. To this day, naka 1yr na kami as husband and wife and super okay padin naman kami. haha parang GF/BF padin.

So what i would advise you, pag isipan mo sis maigi kasi seems to me na yun di nya pag message sayo for several days, not a good sign na to me. Siguro talk to him and ask him kung may issues ba sya so you as a couple can resolve it. I just told my husband about your situation and we compared yours to ours and he reminded me na at the start of our LDR nga pala, naging magagalitin din sya (like kapag galit ako mas magagalit sya and impatient sya and he would not message me) but then he came to realize my situation abroad na magisa lang ako (after we talked) so he changed as he became more patient and understanding. So pagusapan nyo lang siguro sis baka may pinagdadaanan din si bf mo. I really wish you luck sis!

Girltalker2

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #121 on: June 15, 2017, 01:10:24 am »

^ sis, that's what you call the cold shoulder treatment

It is a bit childish and tama yung term mo na controlling. He will only reach out to you at his own time, kasehoda pa ano ang nararamdaman mo.

What happens sis if you don't reach out? Kahit nag message  na sya and you still feel to give him a dose of his own medicine? Para lang ma experience nya what you experienced.

Carecare

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #122 on: June 15, 2017, 02:47:04 pm »
^sis nakakasad naman yan. For sure, ang hirap on your part :(

pero kaya mo yan sis, sana marealize nya na you need him more than ever. Baka di palang talaga nagsisink in sa kanya na mas mahirap ang situation mo compared sa kanya. Siguro nga give him time muna and more importantly, give yourself some time din to think. Find new hobbies sis para di mo sya masyado maisip, i tried adopting a dog nga dati and netflix sis nakakalibang din.

badw33d

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #123 on: June 16, 2017, 08:03:20 am »
Og gee! badw33d i didn't notice, akala ko one of the sissies ka! Hahaha! Anyways, wala siyang pinagseselosan. Been faithful to him since day 1. And hindi kasi siya seloso. Siya yung tipong, sige lang ng sige medyo wala talagang pakealam. So what do I do now? Hindi na naman ako kinakausap :( Ganyan ba talaga mostly kayong mga guys? You'd prefer to just ignore than to talk things over?


they said guys are usually like that, but i don't believe so.

then I guess you have to fix this. since I know how it is working abroad, ask him to visit you, or bring him to you. you need a physical facetime now. dont worry, it's gonna be alright, but there are just too much possibilities going on.

this can be something like: shrugging the wedding off. scares the s*** out of you huh?

rasee16

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #124 on: June 19, 2017, 12:34:51 am »

Tell me how to fix it if ayaw niya makipag-usap? The only way I can see now para maayos is if he's willing to talk about it. But he doesn't like.

Well, you can't fix it on your own. Di yan healthy relationship kung ikaw lang ng ikaw ang gumagawa ng paraan to make it work. Eventually, pagsasawaan mo rin gawin yan. And besides, does this kind of relationship makes you happy?? Yes nakakatakot ma-fall off or ma-postpone ang wedding pero hindi ba mas nakakatakot to deal with this kind of situation for the rest of your life? Theres no other way. Kailangan nyo talaga pagusapan ng masinsinan yan.

kccllj

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #125 on: June 21, 2017, 01:45:33 pm »
Hi sissies, he just recently called me na. Nagsorryand sabi niya nagpacool down lang siya. Naiinis lang daw ng bongga sa immaturity ko (which I think, hindi naman ako naging immature sa last away namin) Now,  seems like ayaw na naman niyang i-brought up yung issue namin. Okay na daw siya. Wag na daw namin pag-usapan. Pwede ba yun? I'm sure pag nagkatampuhan kami ulit, ganun na naman ang gagawin niya saken. Hay

xsugar

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #126 on: June 21, 2017, 03:12:51 pm »
^^sis kccllj, ok na din na nagpa cool down sya..for me, you still have to talk about it pero pag ready na kayo pareho (syempre dapat bago kayo ikasal) para mas open yung mind nyo sa opinion ng isa't isa. tell him what you want or expect , what he wants and expect too and what's right. minsan kasi we tend to insists our own beliefs and wants na hindi natin naiisip yung kabilang side.

my husband has the same personality. ayaw nya makipagsabayan pag galit ako, pag ok naman kami at pag uusapan na, biglang parang wala na sya sa interest. pero i learn how to talk to him,  i told him na pag naulit ulit dahil hindi namin pinag usapan, hindi na ako magpapakumbaba..it happened many times actually, and sya na mismo naka realize sa importance ng communication. I also tried to adjust dun sa style nya na cool down muna before mag usap, and it works for us. nag adjust ako for him kahit mahirap (knowing us girls ;D) then sya din nag adjust thru openly communicating.

so i hope it helps. goodluck sis!!

kccllj

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #127 on: June 21, 2017, 04:39:25 pm »
^^hi xsugar. thanks sa advice sis. Sana lang matutunan ko din muna tumahimik. Hindi kasi ako mapakali pag hindi na siya nagpaamdam like i ring him every second kahit naman alam kong wala akong mapapala.  Actually we are planning na to seek professional advice when i get back to PH before we get married. It's nice to know also na willing din siya kasi atleast he acknowledges na there is something wrong with how we deal with each other.

geraldita03

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #128 on: June 23, 2017, 09:37:05 pm »
pwede po ba humingi ng advice? paano po ba para di maka-feel ng selos? nature ko na yung pagka-selosa pero i want to fight it without manipulating my bf. 6 years na kami. nag break kami for 5 months and nagkabalikan ulit. ldr din kami pero nasa pilipinas lang. med student siya, ako naman working na as a college instructor and magma-masters na din this year.

yung concern ko lang naman is very sociable siya kahit sa girls. sabi niya wala naman daw siyang gawing masama kaya dapat pagkatiwalaan ko siya. he is very kind kasi and responsible and very safe i-friend ng girls kaya madami siya friends na girls din. selosa ako e sobra but i'm trying to fight this.

worried lang ako kasi 3rd year pa lang siya as a med student, pano pag intern na? super busy na nun. paano kung may girls na maging super close niya at ma-develop sila?

i trust him naman e. pero yun meron lang din ako worries. huhu

Ms. Undecided

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #129 on: June 24, 2017, 10:58:21 am »
pwede po ba humingi ng advice? paano po ba para di maka-feel ng selos? nature ko na yung pagka-selosa pero i want to fight it without manipulating my bf. 6 years na kami. nag break kami for 5 months and nagkabalikan ulit. ldr din kami pero nasa pilipinas lang. med student siya, ako naman working na as a college instructor and magma-masters na din this year.

yung concern ko lang naman is very sociable siya kahit sa girls. sabi niya wala naman daw siyang gawing masama kaya dapat pagkatiwalaan ko siya. he is very kind kasi and responsible and very safe i-friend ng girls kaya madami siya friends na girls din. selosa ako e sobra but i'm trying to fight this.

worried lang ako kasi 3rd year pa lang siya as a med student, pano pag intern na? super busy na nun. paano kung may girls na maging super close niya at ma-develop sila?

i trust him naman e. pero yun meron lang din ako worries. huhu


Hi sis, share ko lang. Ganyan din ako as in supeeeeeer selosa. Kahit na tomboy na co-worker ni bf eh pinagseselosan ko. hehe. Tomboy na pa-girl, ganern, pero may mga girlfriends din (Dalawa kasi yung tomboy niyang co-worker). Kahit yung mga close friends niya sa province pinagseselosan ko. Once na may mabasa akong girl na naka-phone book sa contact niya, ay bes, inaaway ko. hahaha. Ayun nabadtrip siya sakin, nakipaghiwalay. hehe. Pero nung mga panahon na hiwalay kami sabi niya sakin na babalik siya, ayusin ko lang daw ugali ko. Kaso hindi ko talaga nabago, hirap eh. Palagi ko binabalik-balikan yung mga issues ko sa mga friends niyang girls. up until this June, I started attending church again, binuhos ko atensyon ko dun habang break pa kami ni bf pero super miss ko siya, umiiyak parin ako ganun pero pinagpaubaya ko kay Lord lahat. hehe. Nanghingi ako sa kanya ng guidance na mabawasan yung ganitong ugali ko. Pero alam ko naman na kahit magwawala ako sa church namin at humingi ng himala kay Lord na baguhin ugali ko eh walang mangyayari kung ako mismo hindi ko aausin sarili ko :) So ayun, nung June 19, nag-usap kami ni bf, inayos namin. Alam mo before, araw-araw kami magkaaway kahit petty things,pero as of now, hindi pa kami nag-aaway ulit :) (wag na sana haha) Ginawa ko? focus on myself. Oo nga't mag bf/gf kami pero kahit mag-asawa diba may kanya-kanya paring buhay. Hinahayaan ko siya na gawin gusto niya while I'm focusing on myself. Oo, umikot ang mundo ko sa kanya before pero ngayon unti-unti napag-aaralan ko na gumawa ng sarili kong mundo :) Kinaibigan ko yung kaibigan niya sa province na pinagseselosan ko, and we're doing fine. we will meet nga next week and I'm excited hehe Yung sa mga co-worker niyang girls, di ko pa nakakausap pero wala naman ako dapat patunayan sa kanila, I want them to see na nagbabago na ko, ayokong sabihin na "uy nagbago nako, di ko na kayo pinagseselosan", hayaan ko nalang nasila yung makapansin :) Kapag sinusumpong akong ka-negahan ko sa buhay, iniisip ko lang si Lord, ewan ko pero gumagaan loob ko. Saka sa ngayon talaga, nag-improve kami ni bf. Nakakatuwa na kapag gigising ako sa umaga, meron akong messages from him liken "kasakay na ko jeep babe.", "kababa na po, kakain lang po", "Tapos na kumain babe. Pahinga lang tas tulog. ikaw sleep well, goodnight,iloveyou" hehe. Hindi ko yun hinihingi sa kanya yunha. Pero siguro yun na rin yung way niya para sabihin na magtiwala ka sakin updated ka. hahaha.

Girltalker2

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #130 on: June 24, 2017, 11:26:29 am »
^^ para sakin, iba naman opinion ko. Feeling ko kung Super sociable pa sya sa mga girls, di pa sya ready ng serious commitment. Mag bf kayo but it doesn't mean na ikakasal naman na kayo.

Tsaka ang problem sa ganyan set up, pag kayo nag selos, does that mean kayo may diperensya? Ikaw Mali ang ugali? So if Ginawa mo sa Ibang guy friends mo Yung Ginagawa ng friends nyang girls eh ok lang ba sa Kanya?

I think it would be good na magpaka busy ka rin, have your own world din Gaya ng payo ni sis undecided. Since di pa naman kayo mag asawa, I think it is best to also keep your options open. I mean walang masama if you will also have guy friends, not as boy friends but as friends lang. mingle and have fun din, with or without your bf. Expand your circle of friends. That way, mapuno mo rin Ang calendar mo, you will be too busy to be jealous.

geraldita03

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #131 on: June 28, 2017, 07:28:45 pm »
^^
sis thank you! in other words, focus lang kay God and sa work dba? dapat trust him lang talaga at don't let my worries, insecurities and jealousy eat me. i won't let anyone din na mag cause ng bad mood sa amin dalawa. actually he is really trying to convince me through his actions na pagkatiwalaan siya. alam naman din lahat ng friends and classmates niya kung sino gf niya. ako lang talaga may trust issues. pero [textspeak!] hindi na. positive na ako and let things flow nalang. basta andyan c God sa relasyon namin. :)

Ms. Undecided

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #132 on: June 30, 2017, 11:09:02 am »
^^
sis thank you! in other words, focus lang kay God and sa work dba? dapat trust him lang talaga at don't let my worries, insecurities and jealousy eat me. i won't let anyone din na mag cause ng bad mood sa amin dalawa. actually he is really trying to convince me through his actions na pagkatiwalaan siya. alam naman din lahat ng friends and classmates niya kung sino gf niya. ako lang talaga may trust issues. pero [textspeak!] hindi na. positive na ako and let things flow nalang. basta andyan c God sa relasyon namin. :)

Yas! May buhay ka naman bago mo siya nakilala eh diba? Ituloy mo lang. Tiwala nalang talaga. Wala pa naman siyang ginagawang iba diba? Ako nga bayani na eh, 7x na ko pinaglihiman eh pero ito ako oh, pinag-aaralan ko paring pagkatiwalaan siya :) Nagawa niya kong lihiman ng mga bagay bagay dahil sa sobrang pagkaselosa ko. Wag mo hayaang mangyari din yun sayo. Kaya ngayon, nagsasabi na siya sakin, ang kailangan ko nalang ngayon eh intindihin siya. I mean, kung magkaroon man siya ng mga babaeng kaibigan, okay lang, as long as alam niy limits niya :) Kaya ako, pray lang kay God na kung ano man mangyari alam ko na it's his will :)))

nocturnalnerd

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #133 on: July 02, 2017, 03:47:00 am »
ako rin noon sobrang selosa ko, as in nasasakal sya, pero natutunan kong wag magoverthink. Although may mga times pa rin na nagseselos ako, pero yun naman yung may dahilan talaga di dahil sa worried lang ako. Ang masasabi ko lang, wag masyado magoverthink at laging maglaan ng oras para sa bonding nyo, at turuan ang sariling magtiwala. Magseseven years na kami this year ng bebeloves ko  ;D

geraldita03

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #134 on: July 08, 2017, 02:06:14 pm »
thank you sissies! omg kami din mag se-7 years na. God bless s mga long term relationship natin. i am hoping we can survive. hahahaha! lalo na matagal pa ako maghihintay sa kanya. tagal pa maging doctor. :D

kaythrielle

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #135 on: July 28, 2017, 12:48:37 pm »
Bilib din ako sayo sis ang tyaga mo sa paghintay sa bf mo.
Wala akong tiyaga talaga sa ganyan malamang matagal ko ng iniwan hehe. Good luck sis and more power! Aja!

------
On a serious note, i'm not into looong term bf/gf relationships. Kasi wala yun sa tagal. Once married, may bago pa ring madidiscover sa isa't isa at panibagong adjustment pa rin.
Kung 6-7years na (even 10 years!) at hindi pa rin kasal feeling ko waste of time na.
Sabi nga ni Harry kay Sally, "...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." 😄



geraldita03

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #136 on: August 01, 2017, 10:23:07 am »
Bilib din ako sayo sis ang tyaga mo sa paghintay sa bf mo.
Wala akong tiyaga talaga sa ganyan malamang matagal ko ng iniwan hehe. Good luck sis and more power! Aja!

------
On a serious note, i'm not into looong term bf/gf relationships. Kasi wala yun sa tagal. Once married, may bago pa ring madidiscover sa isa't isa at panibagong adjustment pa rin.
Kung 6-7years na (even 10 years!) at hindi pa rin kasal feeling ko waste of time na.
Sabi nga ni Harry kay Sally, "...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." 😄




YES. PERO PAANO NAMAN MAGPAPAKASAL KUNG NAG-AARAL PA NG MEDICINE DIBA? HEHE! KAILAN NAMAN MAI-INSERT YUNG MARRIAGE. HAHAHAH! GOOD LUCK SA AKIN! HE TEACHES ME HOW TO BE PATIENT.

jelai424

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #137 on: August 01, 2017, 12:09:57 pm »
4 years + and we will get hitched next year!!! :)

avitot

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #138 on: August 01, 2017, 04:33:28 pm »
took 12 years before hubby and I got married :)

we took the time to grow individually beside each other. Excelled in our chosen career while supporting each other. Saved up for our future and then tied the knot!   No regrets :)

exquisitegem

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Re: On Long Term Relationships
« Reply #139 on: August 08, 2017, 05:49:44 pm »
We've been together for 8 years before we tied the knot. We're 5 mos married as of this writing. We made sure kasi na before we get married, we are ready in all aspects - spiritually, emotionally and financially. And things will just fall beautifully into place.

 

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