On Long Term Relationships

[annhalay]

we celebrated our 10th anniversary last year. Time went by so fast! We had our rough stages and pave ways naman.  We've talked about marriage and settling down pero laging money ang problem may time na nagplano na kami pero never na execute laging nagkakaroon ng reasons baka rin siguro it wasnt the right time pa.  4 years ago we decided to start planning for our future na. We decided that we want to have our own house and car before we get married para after ng kasal baby nalang project namin. so we bought a house, we got a car and we live together narin. kasal nalang ang kulang at babies. Since we already accomplished our common goals, I would ask him what our next plan is  (its actually my way of hearing him say kung magpakasal na ba kami LOL) puros mga personal plans niya lang nababanggit like magbusiness, etc.

At some point medyo natuturn off nako kasi its been too long pero wala pa rin siyang concrete plans to tie the knot. He'd always say magpakasal kami pero when you ask when he'll say "pag may pera na tayo kahit tayo2 lang di na masyado mabongga na kasal"

I mean ok lang naman saken kahit civil wedding lang but I just dont want to ask him straight na ganon kasi syempre baka mapilitan siya.

di pa kaya siya ready to really settle down? or di pa kaya talaga siya sure saken? pati ako nagdodoubt na rin kung kami ba talaga or what. hays

[ri-anne]

^^then that's good sis bella it's always good to have those kinds of plans. I wonder though, since sobrang tagal pa pala, then why be in the relationship? Sa (additional) 5-6 or 8 years na yan andaming pwedeng mangyari.

^sis, halos parang mag-asawa na pala kayo, kulang na lang kasal at babies. Are you familiar with the saying, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?"
It's like why would the guy still bother to marry the woman if he's getting the benefits of being married na rin naman.

Same din sa mga matagal ng live-in partners, may mga kids na, and parang wala pa ring plan yung guy magpakasal. Eh bakit pa nga ba diba?

Anyway, i wish you all ladies the best of luck. I am just concern, bilang isang babae din...that's why i am not into long term bf-gf relationships, unless of course married na. pero sabagay iba iba naman ang tao, different strokes for different folks. this is just my pov.
Good luck in your relationships!

[bellalestrange90]

^pero we believe we'll end up together naman kasi pinagpepray naman namin. hahaha. pinipetition kasi ako ng ate ko, mga next year pa siguro matatapos papers. tapos given na next year pa din ako magkakawork, i wanna pay off my sisters muna na nagpaaral sakin itatravel ko muna sila tapos saka ko tutulungan si boyfie na makasunod sakin. madami pa din kasi syang responsibilidad sa family nya. gusto namin pareho na bago kami magpakasal, okay na pareho family namin.

[shyreen]

9 years and 9 months na kami, 2 years LDR dahil naassign ako sa abroad ngayon. He bought a house na para samin
pero di pa ako umaabot sa point na magtatanong about marriage. For me kasi, ayoko siya pangunahan at mas gusto ko
sa kanya manggagaling. Pero ngayon, napapaisip ako na parang gusto ko nadin magsettle down. I think I'm ready.
Sa type ng work ko possible pa ko maextend maximum 4 more years, at alam kong ayaw niya
ng ganun katagal. In fact, gusto niya umuwi na ako. Pero mahirap magpaalam sa project na umuwi na for good
unless may valid reason like, medical reason, emergency sa family, or ikakasal. Pero pag sinabi ko lang homesick
or gusto lang talaga umuwi, malabo maapprove. Kung magpopropose lang siya, may reason na sana ko ng paguwi.
Ayun lang iniintay ko pero ang tagal naiinip ako. Minsan natetempt na ko magtanong. Pero it's okay din naman,
madami din pala sa mga sis dito mas matagal pa samin before nagpakasal.

[emsgalon]

Kami ni bf sis 3 years and 7 months na. Hindi pa ganun katagal unlike other sisses naten pero siguro yung amin lang is LDR kami. First 6 months lang kami magkasama then LDR na. nagkita lang kami last year on my graduation nagvacay siya 2 weeks din, then balik Cebu na naman siya. College sweethearts din kami and we plan na magipon muna since I just started working. Meanwhile, nagbubusiness naman siya sa kanila. We plan na after 4 years magpakasal na after kong mag-Masters.

[KrabbyPatty!]

5 years na kami this August. 

College sweethearts kami. Dami na rin nagbago sa relationship namin. The first year of our bf/gf relationship was really hard. Super clingy and possessive siya dati kahit girl's night out with our college friends ayaw niya. Parang immature pa. Ako naman matigas ulo. hehe. Ngayon siya na yung pasensyoso sa amin and super bait di na nang-aaway... I think natutunan na namin magtiwala sa isat isa and magcommunicate ng maayos. Di na rin kami nagkakaron ng petty fights masyado. I feel na nagmature na talaga kami and we grew together. 

Nasanay kami na araw-araw magkasama kasi college sweethearts kami. We were batchmates sa college, same degree pa. Ngayon may kanya-kanya na kaming work and minsan di na sakto yung sched namin. Ito yung kailangan namin matutunan i-adjust ngayon. We are doing our best to make time for each other. We squeeze in dinners during weekdays kasi minsan may work siya pag weekends.

22 years old ako and he's 23 now. Kakastart lang namin magwork around 6 mos pa lang, so ipon-ipon muna for the future. Sure naman na kami sa isa't isa. Kung kaya lang namin magsarili ngayon I think nagpakasal na kami agad. But making money enough for a family is hard kasi starting range pa lang ang salary namin. And di ko pa maiwan family ko kasi kaka-pass away lang ng Papa ko last month and I'm the eldest child... I am hoping to get married 5 or 6 years from now... God-willing...

[kim28]

7 years kami ni husband ko bago kami nagpakasal. 4 years married but separated now.

Wala sa tagal ng relationship nasusubok yan maraming ups and down. Hindi ko alam kung ano meron sa future kung maayos namin ito or hindi but thankful ako sa 11 years na magkasama kami.

[nintendo]

We've been together for 6 1/2 years na pero no plans of tying the knot pa. Almost half ng relationship namin di kami magkasama coz he works as a seaman, so basically 9-10mos sya onboard then vacation is 1-2mos  But I can say our relationship is very strong naman, we rarely fight but when we do we talk about it agad. I know gusto na rin nya itake sa next level yung relationship namin coz he's already 30years old and ako 23 palang but we both know that we're not financially stable pa and I have so many things that I want to pursue pa before settling down. He always tells me he's willing to wait naman. Sana di sya mainip 

[tomatostellar]

almost 4 years na kami. i'm very happy with him although at this stage i'm kinda getting impatient since everyone in my circle is getting married left and right. don't get me wrong i love my bf so much but this waiting is killing me. my patience is being tested because he's going through a lot of problems in his life right now. all i can do right now is be a good gf and support him. we're talking about the future a lot but nothing seems to be definite.

I'm at this stage right now.
6 years together na next month. Medyo nasasawa na ko sa "starting over" kasi naka ilan ulit na din kami.

Always marry for love. Not because of age..

I love him, and if ganon lang kadali, matagal na siguro kami nagpakasal.
Oh well, time will tell.

[Lizi]

We're exactly on our 6th year nung magpakasal kami. This October 2016 will be our 4th yr as mr.&mrs. that makes total of 10yrs being together. 

Funny thing is, we had our 1st yr sa Pinas, then nag-abroad sya. After 6 mos. lang pinasunod nya ako. Mga 2 yrs kami sa Qatar then nai-transfer naman sya sa UAE after 6 mos ulet naitransfer din ako hahah. We are on same company kasi. Sa pinas then same company on our first job nung una kaming nagkakilala. Kaya natatawa ako kasi sabi ng mga kaofismates namin mula daw pag-gising namin sa umaga hanggang sa work pati sa pagtulog palagi kaming magkasama 

Yung challenges na nalagpasan namin siguro ay yung keeping up sa mga differences namin and ugali but other than that sa 10yrs naming pagsasama walang 3rd party involve. I'm very happy to think about it. And wishing na wala talagang babaeng mainvolve or pambababae sa side ng asawa ko. Now Im 27 weeks pregnant with our first child. Sabi nila dito daw masusubukan ang pagsasama. Im looking forward na harapin namin together. 

[hedonista]

How long have you been in a relationship?
Any thoughts? Lessons you've learned or experiences you can share with us?

Going 9 years this January. Thoughts? Wow kinaya naming. Lessons? There were a lot of ups and downs and strength, patience and God - helped a lot. Communicate always. Do not be defeated by petty quarrels lalo na pag may anak na.
Comfort and bliss come next, I am at the doorstep already. Thank God. We are now raising a very smart and good boy.

[adia_go]

Hello, my partner (she's a lesbian) and I have been together for 12 years already. 3 years ago when we decided to stay under one roof. Lately, same building na kami nagwo-work. To cut the the story short, feeling ko nagsasawa na ako sa kanya. I mean lagi kasi kami magkasama and parang wala ng time to grow apart. every weekend naman, umuuwi ako sa bahay ng parents ko, sya sa parents niya, pero bakit parang not enough pa rin. tapos ayaw pa niya ako payagang mag travel alone. lately lang sya pumayag and i have yet to solo travel pero mga december pa. =( Ummm...tingin niyo ba normal lang nararamdaman ko? I mean I want some space, parang gusto ko muna kahit 1 year cool off or break kami. for the longest time, di ko naramdamang maging single kasi. =( Tapos ayoko na rin maging intimate sa kanya. is there something wrong with me? Okay lang ba if humingi ako ng time off to sort my feelings. To be honest, parang wala ng spark eh. Is there a 3rd party samin? Ummm...well, bumabalik ex ko sakin, pero kahit nung wala pa ex ko sa picture, nararamdaman ko na yung sawa talaga. parang lagi mainit ulo ko sa kanya, etc. Hindi ako hihingi ng time off just to be with my ex, i really want time off dahil sa totoo lang, nagsasawa talaga ako... =( What do you guys think? Mahal ko pa ba sya? Or na fell out of love na ako?

[px17]

How long have you been in a relationship?
Any thoughts? Lessons you've learned or experiences you can share with us?

11 years. We been together since 1st year hs. Harot noh? Happy ako kasi at the age of 13 syempre immature pa kami, yung tipong clingy ako tapos si bf naman pasaway. Yun yung age na hindi pa talaga for relationship pero nalagpasan namin. Masasabi ko na importante talaga ang communication para magkaintindihan. Tsaka kung love mo talaga yung tao kahit araw araw mo pa siyang kasama you'll never get tired of him.

It helped a lot din na hindi lang sa isa't isa iikot yung mundo niyo. Dapat may sarili kayong activities. Sa ngayon napaguusapan na namin marriage pero ipon ipon muna.

[tahimik_24]

How long have you been in a relationship?
Last time na nag post ako dito 7 years palang kami, Now, 11 years and yes kami pa din. Ngayon mas mahirap kasi almost 2 years LDR. Di na kami magkasama palagi and yung usual routine na magsisimba every Sunday together. Now napag uusapan na about wedding pero ipon ipon muna. Darating daw kami dun. 
Any thoughts? Lessons you've learned or experiences you can share with us?
Mahabang pasesnya is a must. Communication ang number 1 lalo samin LDR. And of course TRUST.

[atnep]

9 YEARS AND 8 MONTHS and counting... 

And in that span of time hindi pa kami nakapag overnight together ever. We haven't travelled together yet. Strict ang parentals. We're reserving that for after our wedding.

9 years of bliss kami. No third party, no break ups, konting drama here and there lang. Kahit selosan hindi din namin thing. First BF ko siya and first GF niya ako, hopefully last din. <3

[px17]

^same here hindi pa kami nakakapagtravel together. Akala ko abnormal na kami kasi hindi pa nakakapagtravel strict din kasi ang parents. Pero nakapag overnight na ko sakanila at tumakas lang ako. hahaha Sinabi ko na ang fieldwork ko 4 days pero 3 days lang talaga.

Parehas na kaming professional pero eto parang 12 years old lang ako sa paningin ng parents ko.

[xsugar]

hi sis adia_go, i think what you're feeling right now is normal. I am not an expert in relationship and i don't have a perfect relationship too. I've been there and done that. Its important na andyan ang happiness and fulfillment sa inyong dalawa. If the other one no longer feels the same, its time to talk. Sabi nga it takes two to tango. Better and safest is to talk to your partner. Let her/him know how you feel baka kasi he/she need to do something din to spice things up or bring the spark back. I've been in this type of relationship before getting married. One time, i just realized wala na akong feelings sa kanya kahit nga makita sya ayaw ko na sa sobrang sawa ko sa long term relationship namin. Wala naman syang ginawang masama sken, nagkulang lang kami sa relationship. I failed to tell him about my feelings. Syempre nagtaka sya, nagalit but sabi nga nya ok na din kesa pinagpalit ko sya sa iba.He's happily married to someone else and I am too. Sabi nga, not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck because we've found each others "the one".

[l31y4h]

Kami ng BF ko, 2 years kami when he proposed to me (nasa tamang edad na rin naman kami lolz). It's a short time pero I can say na mas na-feel ko effort on both sides to make things work. Sobrang compromise and adjustment talaga (Muslim kasi siya and sa kanya ako natuto na ang dami palang misconceptions ng non-Muslims sa kanila. Same goes with stereotypes.

Kung length lang naman paguusapan, longest relationship ko is 4yrs and 11mos. He broke up with me 1st week of January and a month before our 5th anniv. Dun ko natutunan na super important ng communication. Then after nun, 4yrs akong single until nakilala ko si fiance

[chelvin26]

Kami we are 10 years and 11 months and we are planning to get married next year on our 12th anniversary. Yes mahirap ang long term relationship, magsasawa at magsasawa kayo sa isa't isa. What we are doing is make sure na may time kami sa ibang bagay, private time, para hindi lang samin umiikot ang mundo namin. He cheated on me on our 2nd year and after 3 months we're together again, then on our 4th year. I broke up with him to be with someone else but then after 3 months i broke up with my bf that time to be with him again. I guess destined kami for each other. hehe

May dull days talaga yung parang gusto mo ng kakaiba, wala ng spark, mga ganyan, pero isipin lang namin pinagdaanan namin, lahat lahat ng trials and problems na naovercome namin, and also isipin lang na kaya ba naming makita ang isa't isa sa piling ng iba. Ang sagot don ay hindi, walang sawang compromise, sacrifice, giving, love, understanding, caring at lahat lahat na, kaya proud ako we made this far and we will getting married next year, Finally! haha

[ri-anne]

Good for you sis atnep and px17!
Being in a long term relationship kadalasan lahat nagagawa na eh. Kaya minsan iisipin mo ano pang something to look forward to?

Most people after alooong relationship, next relationship is saglit lang then they get married. Or kung kinasal man after alooooong time, saglit lang married naghihiwalay na.

So to all sisses in long term bf/gf relationship. Good luck sa inyo. Have something to look forward to after you get married.