On Long Term Relationships

[tahimik_24]

92 months/ 7 years and 8 months na kami ni boyfie. We always go to church every Sunday magkagalit o bati nagsisismba kami sabay. That helps siguro. Were getting stronger. Yung kilig andun pa din at importante talaga communication. Sana sya na. Wala pang pan to get married kasi madami pa kaming gustong gawin sa buhay. Sana bago mag 30 will get married na, mahirap ng manganak, hehe 

[j.adore]

Sis Awesomecakes, it depends on how open the communication is, how serious the relationship is, and how conservative any of the significant other is.
If a couple can talk about anything under the sun, walang issue kung magtanong yung babae sa future plans. Kung seryoso sa isa't isa, hindi malayong naisip na yung pagpapakasal. Kaso kung merong conservative, ang preference ay lalaki dapat magtanong.

[prix]

kami ni hubby almost 9 years kaming mag bf /gf bago kami nag-decide na magpakasal ngayon mag 2 years na kaming kasal.. Madami ng pinagdaanan ang relationship namin & i hope na walang sumuko lalo na ngayon na may baby na kami. I always pray  to God na i-guide nya ang relationship namin ng hubby ko para mas maging matatag & pareho nya kaming ilayo sa tukso.. dahil gusto kong bigyan ng isang maayos & buong pamilya ang baby namin. 

[Awesomecakes]

Sis Awesomecakes, it depends on how open the communication is, how serious the relationship is, and how conservative any of the significant other is.
If a couple can talk about anything under the sun, walang issue kung magtanong yung babae sa future plans. Kung seryoso sa isa't isa, hindi malayong naisip na yung pagpapakasal. Kaso kung merong conservative, ang preference ay lalaki dapat magtanong.

We actually talked about it several times na. But not to the point na may definite plans na(church, date, etc etc). We've been together for six years na din so I guess we can talk anything under the sun na. For me lang, I want to have a bigger picture of us, what's in store for us in the coming years. Though hindi pa naman kami ganun katanda, pero ayoko din kasi umabot pa ako ng late 30s bago ikasal. Idk siguro napaka-futuristic ko lang.

[j.adore]

Sis Awesomecakes, I think the definite plans come in once you're engaged (there is an official agreement between the couple to get married already). Napaguusapan naman na pala so pwede na rin siguro magtanong at least kung kailang taon ang ideal para sa inyo mag settle down. Pwedeng direct o mag fish ka na lang hehe

[angelzero]

Have you girls thought of asking your guy when he's planning to settle down? Hindi naman sa nagmamadali or what, but it's reality na if you're in a long term relationship, you'll get there talaga, pero is it okay for a girl to ask that question? Your thoughts?

sa case ko kasi siya palagi nagb-bring up ng topic kahit dati pa. so pag ganun tsaka lang ako nagsasalita about my thoughts on wedding, marriage, family etc. but there's nothing wrong if the girl asks lalo na pag matagal na rin naman kayo. para alam mo kung may future kayo o wala. kung matakot si guy sa prospect of getting married eh di good bye na diba. wala nang masasayang pang oras. my 2 cents.

[nessy]

Going on 3 years. We're just new, pero marami na kaming pinagdaanan. Like ngayon, pero what's good thing about us is we actually laugh on our problems. I think that helps talaga sa pagsasama namin. Kahit may problema, we manage to just laugh it off kesa naman mag-away kami. Pero may mga times din na nag-aaway kami pag may mga bagay na ayaw ko na hindi ko nai-voice out. Pero pag nasabi ko na at napag-usapan na namin, okay na kami. So, I guess, kelangan lang talaga, aside from LOVE and RESPECT, siyempre, dapat may good communication kayo. At dapat therapeutic communication ito ha.

[Awesomecakes]

Sis Awesomecakes, I think the definite plans come in once you're engaged (there is an official agreement between the couple to get married already). Napaguusapan naman na pala so pwede na rin siguro magtanong at least kung kailang taon ang ideal para sa inyo mag settle down. Pwedeng direct o mag fish ka na lang hehe

We're celebrating our 6th end of this month so most likely masama ito sa mapaguusapan namin. Thanks, sis!

[reigne17]

hi. we were high school sweethearts back then. Bale 13 years na kami as a couple. 10 years and 8 months kami nung kinasal.  2 years and 7 months kaming married.

kung baga yong relasyon namin pwedeng ma feature sa mmk or magpakailanman sa dami ng obstacles. pero lahat yon nalagpasan namin.

[kittenchi17]

I'm currently on a 10 years and 8 months relationship. Pero feeling ko hindi na ako masaya... Gusto ko sana i take na sa next level ang relationship (marriage) kaya lang hindi siya ready😟 on and off ang work niya kasi mapili siya sa work konting problems sa work ayaw na niya. Yung last work nya nag seafarer siya sa IT kaya lang masama yung ugali ng captain kaya inayawan na niya. May naipon na siya pero dahil june 2015 pa yun naubos na rin niya un. Ngaun naghahanap na ulit siya ng work kaya lang pagod na siguro ako mag antay, aminado na akong disappointed na ako kasi lagi ko siyang kailangan pagtakpan sa mga relatives ko. Patay na yung mama ko at only child ako, [textspeak!] papa ko may iba ng family kaya gusto ko na rin sana magkaroon ng sariling family kasi 27years old na rin ako. Fall-out of love na ba ako? Kaso naaawa ako sa kanya e, dahil iiwan ko siya sa time na down na rin siya confused ako kung i give up ko na ba ang relationship. Sa ngayon kasi hindi naman siya nagpupursige na makahanap ng work busy siya sa paglalaro ng mga online games (27years old rin siya) pagod na akong mag antay at magsabi sa kanya ng mga pangarap ko para sa amin. 1 week simula ng hindi ako nakikipag communicate sa kanya at nasasaktan ako mapatunayan na yung mga online games pa rin ang priority niya, kasi hindi na rin siya nag effort, tulad nung friday nagyaya siya magsine tapos biglang nagbackout. Nasasaktan lang ako na we are not on the same page at willing na akong mangarap mag isa.

[j.adore]

Always marry for love. Not because of age, not because of what other people will say..

Also, do not settle for someone who does not prioritize you. In marriage, the spouse comes first.

 If a man does not have the capacity to provide, what will be his contribution as a husband and a father?

Find a good timing and talk to him about all these things. Honesty is important but try to choose vocabulary that won't be an attack to him naman.
Then, set a deadline to see if he can be the man he needs to be as both husband and father. If he does not change, leave and never look back.

On the other hand, make sure you're also capable to be a good wife and mother. This goes both ways ☺️

I'm currently on a 10 years and 8 months relationship. Pero feeling ko hindi na ako masaya... Gusto ko sana i take na sa next level ang relationship (marriage) kaya lang hindi siya ready😟 on and off ang work niya kasi mapili siya sa work konting problems sa work ayaw na niya. Yung last work nya nag seafarer siya sa IT kaya lang masama yung ugali ng captain kaya inayawan na niya. May naipon na siya pero dahil june 2015 pa yun naubos na rin niya un. Ngaun naghahanap na ulit siya ng work kaya lang pagod na siguro ako mag antay, aminado na akong disappointed na ako kasi lagi ko siyang kailangan pagtakpan sa mga relatives ko. Patay na yung mama ko at only child ako, [textspeak!] papa ko may iba ng family kaya gusto ko na rin sana magkaroon ng sariling family kasi 27years old na rin ako. Fall-out of love na ba ako? Kaso naaawa ako sa kanya e, dahil iiwan ko siya sa time na down na rin siya confused ako kung i give up ko na ba ang relationship. Sa ngayon kasi hindi naman siya nagpupursige na makahanap ng work busy siya sa paglalaro ng mga online games (27years old rin siya) pagod na akong mag antay at magsabi sa kanya ng mga pangarap ko para sa amin. 1 week simula ng hindi ako nakikipag communicate sa kanya at nasasaktan ako mapatunayan na yung mga online games pa rin ang priority niya, kasi hindi na rin siya nag effort, tulad nung friday nagyaya siya magsine tapos biglang nagbackout. Nasasaktan lang ako na we are not on the same page at willing na akong mangarap mag isa.

[Pink_Sugar]

12 years kaming mag bf-gf then 1 1/2 year na married. So far so good. :-)

[sweetgirl]

happy to say, 2 years n kame this april 12...going strong prin... siya lan ang only bf ko na nglast talaga. [textspeak!] un iba months lang. right now npapaguspan n ang wedding. plan namin this year if not early next year sana. kapag nkapag ipon n. it is a matter of understanding and patients with each other. di ko nga akalain n 2 years n pla kme bkas eh. akalain mo. hehe...

[yannuh]

2006 naging kami, so technically almost 10 years na kami now. kaya lang nagbreak for a couple of months, then nagre-count nung years namin together, since sept 12 2007 naging kami ulit, exactly 8 years nung kinasal kami last year. aaminin ko di naging madali yung relationship namin. away bati pero di umabot sa puntong naghiwalay ulit kami. dahil nga sobrang haba din before kami naengaged, may mga times na gusto ko na gumiveup kasi pakiramdam ko, nastuck na kami sa magbf-gf. parang pakiramdam ko, never na ata ako gustong pakasalan neto. pero yun nga, one day nagpropose na ang lola mo. super happy naman ako he's my first and last bf pala:)

ang key lang sa long-term relationship for me is love, open communication, consistency, patience and commitment. Pag yan naachieve mo, i am sure wala ng makakapagpahiwalay sa inyo:)

isa din ako sa naniniwalang love is a choice/decision.

[ri-anne]

College sweethearts kami ni hubby. So tumakbo na din ng mga 3years before we were working na and were having stable jobs.
 I wasn't really a fan of matagal na bf-gf years before marriage so actually dinerecho ko sya that time kung what are his plans regarding our relationship. I was very straightforward with him.

 May plan ba sya to get our relationship to the next level? kelan? etc. because i told him kung wala naman syang plans of marriage i don't want to waste my time in that relationship.

Sabi pa nga nya, gusto nya may bahay at lupa at kotse muna before getting married...
sabi ko, kelan pa yun, after 10years?! So mga 30s na kami nun before ikasal?! No way. I told him, mga ganyang plans, we can do it together, pwede naming ma-achieve together as husband and wife na. If not, bbye na lang. Lol. Lakas ng loob ko eh umepek naman.
Narealize nyang hindi nya kayang wala ako sa buhay nya. Lol ayun pagka-next year nagsumikap, nag-ipon na kami, and after 2 years, we got married. Now we're more than a decade na and have achieved those plans together.

I'm saying lang na sana as babae, while still in the early part of the relationship, and you're still young, take advantage of it and make sure you don't waste your time and youth sa walang patutunguhang relationship.
6years ++ Esp 10 years is waaayyyy too long para bf-gf lang.

[bellalestrange90]

We've been together for almost 6years na. I'm 22 and he's 24 so nasa malayo pa ang planong marriage.

[ri-anne]

^halos same age namin ni then-bf when i talked to him. I was 23, he was 24. 😄

Grabe, 6 years na kayo and no plans of marriage at all? Kahit man lang sana may timetable ng future plans. Like, in 2-3 years time. It's not something that happens overnight naman eh.
Kasi kung walang goal parang walang patutunguhan, sayang lang yung time nyo sa isat isa. But to each his/her own.
Good luck!

[Mommychinita18]

I came from an 8 year relationship but it does not end well. Naging doormat girlfriend lang ako kasi sa relationship namin may third party pala siya. But okay lang, i learned a lot though madaming nasayang na oras...may konting pagsisisi pero ngayon super happy ako sa kung anong meron ako.

[Awesomecakes]

How long have you been in a relationship?
Any thoughts? Lessons you've learned or experiences you can share with us?

I've been in a relationship for almost six years now Happy kasi we've gone this far, sobrang dami na challeneges na dumating sa relationship namin. Thankful lang ako kasi I met someone na never ako iniwan and love ako talaga. Looking forward on marrying him in two or three years time.

How about you mga sis?

Shocks! I can't believe I started this thread almost 3 years ago! So many things happened in the past years but I'm super happy we're stronger than ever.

I'm happy to share with you that we're officially engaged (just last year) and we're now getting married in six months. We're also able to buy a house even before we got engaged. A lot of blessings indeed! It's worth the wait.

[bellalestrange90]

@ri-anne, meron naman sis. pero gusto nya mga 5-6 years from now. ako mga 8 years pa. tingnan na lang namin kapag we're both stable na and may na-ipundar na 5-6 years.