Mothering or Smothering? Strict ka ba o easygoing mom?

[chicafabulosa]

That's a great way to raise a child. Ano yung binabawal nyo sa kanya to do at this age though? Just curious and want to learn.

That's a great way to raise a child. Ano yung binabawal nyo sa kanya to do at this age though? Just curious and want to learn.

Like when noviolent games, may time ang tv. Pag tapos na ang time, patay na namin ang tv. No swearing. Di dapat mapili sa food. Not too much sugar. Then pag maglalaro sa labas di dapat mang aaway (although we taught him to fight back in case na awayin sya), no tv pag kumakain and kailangan sa table together sa amin ng daddy nya. May oras ang sleep nya. Then sa toys nya after maglaro, need nya ibalik sa boxes nya. So far lahat naman sinusunod nya.wala namang prob. Also may time to study everyday. Tsaka pag sa labas behave dapat, quiet lang and di malikot. And lastly pag sumasagot sa matanda laging may po. He speaks in english but at the end of his sentence may po sya palagi. E.g mommy im hungry po. Mommy i like this po. Daddy, please stay po.

Also we taught him to say please if wants something from my aunt (kasi sya nag aalaga) or from anybody and pag binigay always say thanks you.. Most importantly, alam nya pag Sunday church time. He prays also every night kasi tita ko is dating madre kaya every important sa kanya na maexpose anak ko sa church and having strong faith. So we tend to build it as early as now. We always remind him God loves you so much baby so always be good and make him proud

[faghag]

Galing naman, ms chicafabulosa.


A different dimension naman of being strict vs letting go. Napapaisip ka tuloy. Dapat ba, relax lang sa rules and let him get dirty, etc.? For example, do you let your child play sa kalye, play outdoors, take a bath under the rain, etc?

[chicafabulosa]

Galing naman, ms chicafabulosa. By the way, have you seen this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2il9NbnCjy0&feature=share


A different dimension naman of being strict vs letting go. Napapaisip ka tuloy. Dapat ba, relax lang sa rules and let him get dirty, etc.? For example, do you let your child play sa kalye, play outdoors, take a bath under the rain, etc?

Yes of course.every child should experience that. But syempre di naman sa kanal yan ha. I let him play sa playground, with other kids.but  of course depende sa kalaro nya. Well my son doesnt want to play with madudungis na kids rin naman. Maarte sya rin in a way. So i let him play.

[faghag]

Funny about the kanal. How old are your kids?

[chicafabulosa]

I have a 3 year old boy.. Super kulit

[chicafabulosa]

Honestly sis cute nga eh. Ako i let my son draw sa wall.. Haha i have this huge wall dedicated for his drawings.. May board dun and i put cartolinas for crayons. Make sure its washable sis

[tiggerlily]

It depends on what the situation needs. ayoko kasi iasa ang pagiging strict sa ibang tao. at palagi namin pinag-uusapan ni hubby yung way ng pagdidisiplina namin para iisa lang. kapag magkaiba kasi nalilito ang bata. or sa kung sino man ang disciplinarian, dun lang sila takot.

and then i become easygoing especially when it comes to schoolwork. at 4yo, laro lang ang school for them. kung magiging seryoso kasi baka magkaron sya ng hatred sa school.

BUT hindi ko sya pinapalaro sa labas ng bahay. wala akong paki sa dumi kasi di naman kalinisan ang bahay namin at kailangan nya rin ma-expose sa dumi. kaya ko sya di pinapalaro sa labas kasi ang mga bata sa labas ng bahay namin namumulaklak sa mura ang bibig. nasa copying stage pa kasi sya so siguro kapag mas malaki na sya ng konti pa.

pero kung alam ko na maayos naman magsalita ang kalaro nyang bata, sige go. actually gusto ko ngang kalaro nya e yung nagtatagalog para dumiretso ang dila. kaso baligtad e. once narinig sya nun kalaro nya mag-english, nag-eenglish na rin after a while.

[chofontanilla]

Mommies, when to start discplining kids? I have a 16 month old boy, dapat ba ngayon palang firm na ako sa kanya sa mga rules ko? Di pa kasi siya nakakapagsalita ng mga real words di pa din nakakalakad magisa kaya kapag maglulupasay siya sa kalsada buhat agad siya. Nakakaintindi naman siya kasi kapag di ko siya pinapayagan sa gusto niya, iiyak parang nagttantrums, pano kaya yun?

[chicafabulosa]

You should start na paunti unti sis

[faghag]

Mommies, when to start discplining kids? I have a 16 month old boy, dapat ba ngayon palang firm na ako sa kanya sa mga rules ko? Di pa kasi siya nakakapagsalita ng mga real words di pa din nakakalakad magisa kaya kapag maglulupasay siya sa kalsada buhat agad siya. Nakakaintindi naman siya kasi kapag di ko siya pinapayagan sa gusto niya, iiyak parang nagttantrums, pano kaya yun?

Feeling ko a child needs to be told what's right or wrong. Hindi pa nya alam kasi he's in exploration stage. Kaya dapat ding sabihin kung ano ang bad and good.

[faghag]

Honestly sis cute nga eh. Ako i let my son draw sa wall.. Haha i have this huge wall dedicated for his drawings.. May board dun and i put cartolinas for crayons. Make sure its washable sis

Great tip. Kahit magdrawing sya ever. Yung pamangkin ko ganyan then ginawan ng board kung saan sya pwede mag draw. Syempre di naman maganda pigilan yung creativity ng bata. Ok yan na tip!

[chicafabulosa]

Great tip. Kahit magdrawing sya ever. Yung pamangkin ko ganyan then ginawan ng board kung saan sya pwede mag draw. Syempre di naman maganda pigilan yung creativity ng bata. Ok yan na tip!

Yup  we need to encourage their creativity. Bata malawak imagination, minsan its not bad. I play with my son like spaceship, kunwari may aliens spacheship and sya ang pilot.

Plus we must not forget when to praise and the right way. Maybe this article will guide us rin sis.


http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/the-right-way-to-praise-your-kids?page=1

[sweetestCORN]

Keep 'em coming mga sis. Very helpful especially sa mga baguhan na mommy kagaya ko na malayo sa mommy and inlaws. As in nangangapa ako sa pagiging mommy. I enjoy every minute of being a mom pero natatakot din ako kasi baka magkamali ako or baka kulang or sobra. My baby is now 6 months old. I don't know what to teach her. Or atleast i don't know kung masyado pa ba maaga ang turuan sya or masyado na late. Ang hirap ng walang nagaadvice sakin. Si pareng google at mareng girltalk lang lagi sandalan ko.

[khriseeee]

When my daughter does something she's not supposed to I say "No!" loudly and firmly while shaking my finger. Well when my daughter does something she knows she's not supposed to (like playing with her cabinet door) she will look at me and shake her finger 

Mommies what do you think of disciplining your child around other kids? We were at a gymboree playdate a week ago and there was this older girl who took away the ball my daughter was playing with. Needless to say my daughter was crying and went up to the girl with her hand stretched out (we teach her to ask for something by placing her hand out, palm upwards). The little girl was holding the two balls available at gymboree ran away. The yaya naman did nothing about it. I was thinking, if the yaya doesn't discipline and the parents aren't around, how will that little girl ever learn to share or that it's not right to take toys from other kids?  Tapos to make my daughter stop crying, I put in her the giant salbadida and was bouncing it up and down, that same little girl came up to us (still holding both balls) saw my daughter was having fun and said "that's my place!" I told her, "no, you already have two balls, you wait your turn". Aba she yelled "FINE!!" and threw the ball at me! What a brat!

[chicafabulosa]

Sis krisee I understand why your daughter acted that way. Because she already had a bad time with the older kid and yet she is still being reprimanded by having two balls. As a parent, we should also out ourselves in their shoes. Alam mo yung feeling na naagawan ka and then parang ikaw pa ang kasalanan kasi ikaw ang napagsasabihan ng parents. Ayos lang naman na two balls ang hawak nya, as long as wala naman ibang naglalalaro. I let my son play with all those miniballs sa gymboree if nobody's playing with it. Then pag meron na, I tell my som to share.

As for the other kid, I also experienced my son being bullied there. And then the yaya didn't do anything. But my oh my when I attended my son's music class with those twin ay kaya naman pala bully, pag di nakatingin si mommy nila, si yaya may pasimpleng palo and puro sabi ang arte arte mo,ang kulit kulit mo. Ang mother rin kasi ni twins bully sa yayas eh. As in in front of us pinapagalitan. So ako di na ako nakikialam sa discipline nung kids na yun. Kasi may parents naman yun eh. What we can do is we need to teach our kid when to fight back and not to start a fight. Now my son knows how to fight back. Di sya nagsisimula but if you started with him, you will hear ang isang malutong na You ugly... ganun kasi son ko pag galit. Sasabihan ka ng you ugly. At least hindi nagmumura.

So relax ka lang. Avoid mo reprimanding her in front of other kids. Of course they need to feel right now sa age nila na kakampihan mo sila no matter what. But when you have time na kayo kayo na lang, saka mo explain na di maganda yung ginawa nya. Kasi at this age, nahihiya na rin sila wag mo masyado dibdibin yung ginawa ng daughter mo. Nasa sa atin pa rin yan paano natin sila palalakihin

[khriseeee]

^thanks sis! It wasn't my daughter who took the balls, it was the other little girl who took the ball away from my daughter while she was playing with it. My daughter is just turning 1 so she can't fight back. I'm just disappointed na some people don't pay attention na these things might happen and we can't expect a yaya to discipline our kids the same way.

There are times when I am annoyed with my yaya but I would never scold her in front of my daughter. My yaya will be the one in charge when I am not around so I want my daughter to respect her as well.

[aceofhearts]

sis faghag,

I let him sleep with his cousins (same age) and my cousins (his uncle and aunt) na super close sa family namin. We actually started nung sumama si baby sa family nila when they went to the mall. Then I realized na kaya niya na umalis without mom or dad. Every time they are inviting him for lunch or malling, sasama naman siya and excited pa.

Re the wall for artworks, I have that too.  Si baby naman puro sa bond paper or pad paper then he will paste it on the wall. Kaya punong puno ng papel ang wall namin.  Minsan, nasusulatan niya ng pentel pen or pencil, good thing its easy to erase. I taught him na wag mag draw sa wall, so paper gamit niya.

Also, meron siyang white board where he can freely draw, the marker has no strong smell naman.   

[lonelymiss28]

i would say, ako yung strict sa bahay. i have 2 step kids and the way na pagpapalaki ko sa kanila ay traditional filipino values, like being magalang, hindi sumasagot sa matatanda, maging matulungin sa kapwa especially sa hehe...anyway, i guess the best way to teach them is to show them like i always say please and thank you to them and to everybody and i will always remind them to say the same thing and ngayon since malalaki na sila nakakatuwa kasi automatic na for them to say it. I also want them to be responsible and the best way to teach them is to give them responsibilities at a young age like i let my eldest work at the age of 13, mga simpleng trabaho like cleaning my friends car or helping out with the yard and even maglinis ng kulungan ng manukan, at lagi ko silang sinasabihan na i'm proud of them kahit simpleng bagay....and i always tell them na kahit na strict ako sa kanila ang gusto ko lang talaga ay matuto sila sa buhay para maging maganda buhay nila sa future and i am very as in very proud to say na kahit na ganon ako sa kanila, ngayon na may trabaho na yung eldest ako naman ang super spoil nya like every time she goes out with friends or on a date she would calll me to ask kung may gsuto ako at bibilhin nya and she would ask me to list everything i want for a gift for holidays or bdays. so naisip ko basta ang priority natin para sa kabutihan ng anak natin....mare-realize nila yun at kahit na maging mahigpit tayo ma-aapreciate nila yun in the future. pasensya na at napahaba reply ko.

[chicafabulosa]

Ah i see sorry na misread ko haha my apologies. Pero naku sis careful with giving authorities rin sa yaya. Baka maging OA ang pag discipline eh di natin alam

[DV]

Sheesh. So this is all about that new Unilever detergent. I knew it. Sige Moms, Panatag Moms, ano-pa-bang-label-ang-pwede-nating-ilagay moms.