to resign or not to resign? to wahm or not to wahm

[sweetsorrow]

sisses, i need your opinion if i should resign or not.

before ako ikasal, okey ang career ko sa isang utility company, after ko makunan, got pregnant again and gave birth, lahat nagbago, nawalan na ng trust ang supervisor and bosses sa akin. fault ko din kung bakit nawala tiwala sa akin ng mga boss ko kasi puro ako absent during and after  ng pregnancy ko (dahil wala akong mahanap na yaya and palagi nagkakasakit ang baby ko(diarrhea,pneumonia))

and alam naman natin na kapag married na and lalo na kapag may anak na, limited na ang time to have dinner with officemates and to have overtime.

isang tama, sampo pa din ang mali - ito palagi nila nakikita sa department ko, so when there was an opening sa ibang department, i applied and nakuha ko naman ang position, para naman NEW environment and baka naman may magtiwala ulit sa akin. the disadvantages are: super layo ko sa new workplace ko, from Antipolo to Makati araw-araw. traffic and pagod sa byahe, by the way Breastfeeding ako kay baby kaya palagi kong dala ang breastpump ko and sobrang worried na baka maspoil ang milk ko lalo na kapag traffic,

dati 5:30pm nasa house na ko, when i transferred to Makati, 8 o 9pm ako nakakauwi. sobrang ligalig ng baby ko, then nabago na ang sleeping schedule niya, gising si baby ng 11pm, at 3am-4am, i have to get ready before 5:30am and umalis ng bahay by 6am or else late na ko. dito ako nahirapan, nakakatulog ulit ako then nagigising ng 9am na, hindi na ko makakapasok kasi super sakit ng ulo ko, and hindi ako tinitigilan ng baby ko magnurse ng magnurse, parang kahit siya alam niya na may nagbago sa mommy niya.

lalo ako nawalan na ng gana sa work ko, 3 days na ako absent, and LWOP na ako. then my best friend offered me to buy her laundry shop, she offered me to pay her in terms, 12 months! kaya i accept her offer.

now the question is, dapat ko na ba bitawan ang work ko? lalo na kung wala na akong gana pumasok? may existing loan pa ako sa company, okey ba to issue Post Date Checks nalang para lang makapagresign na ako. my husband dont want this idea. mas gusto niya tapusin ko ang loan ko, 2 years pa.

im so stressed! i need your opinion. tia!

[onlytechgirl]

hi sis, if you think stress ka why don't you give up your work na? unless kaya mo naman financially ha..

[sweetsorrow]

^sis nagstart palang ang mga business namin, tshirt printing and laundry shop. with tshirt printing, gamay na namin mag-asawa, madami na din kaming nakukuha na order. ang takot lang niya, baka daw hindi maging stable. duwag asawa ko magtake ng risk. kahit ang pagbili namin ng lote, ako pa din ang sumugal.

stress na talaga ako. takot lang siya kung papano ang loans namin and ang baby namin, atleast daw meron akong kita na fix every month. sabi ko sa kanya kung matututukan ko ang dalawa namin business, mas lalaki ang kita.

[k_heart]

^Kung ako ang boss mo sis, i will recommend na magresign ka na. Based din kasi sa post mo,wala ka ng ganang mag-work,so it means hindi ka na rin productive.
Best to talk to your boss, baka pwede namang mag-sabbatical ka lang for 1 year, at least sa 1 yearna yun, you will know kung carry talaga ng finances nyo na sa Laundry business at your hubby's work ang source at income. And during that period, mas magiging ok na din ang sleeping pattern ng baby mo at mas malaki na sya. Basta don't burn your bridges, ask if you can come back after a year. Kung hindi naman at talagang di mo na carry, magresign ka na kasi unfair din sa company mo and unfair also to yourself.

Yung tungkol sa loan mo, best to talk sa boss mo at sa HR kasi iba't ibang company, iba't ibang policies. Other companies will ask you outright to pay the whole amount.

[showermist]

TS, you're not effective as an employee based on your posts. I suggest leave your job. Just make your business working, there's more flexibilty in it. Plus, you'll be with your kid.

Good luck!

[Kady_14]

Same advice, don't burn bridges. Talk to your boss. Think of back up plans to support your decisiion if you plan to leave work. If I were you and kaya naman kumita in other ways, i'd leave my job and focus on the business kasama ko pa ang anak ko.

I had kids early in life and was a full time working mom. Ganyan din ako dati malayo ang trabaho ko 8-9pm na ako nakakauwi sa bahay. Feeling ko i missed out a lot on my kids growing up years, madami pang pictures ang mga helpers and my MIL with them kesa sa akin. 

[tayntayn]

been there sis.. i resigned from my company june 2011 and became a wahm. same pattern, i was once a very productive employee mabilis ang promotion ko compared to my colleagues.. until, i had kids.. breastfeeding din ako nun. naging problem ko din yung walang yaya etc. nag-iiba talaga ang priorities kapag may kids ka na.. once a workaholic and an ever hardworking employee, ayun tinatamad na rin sa work and all. plus i have my online business pala ako that i started since 2009. mas malakas loob ko mag-resign. matagal namin pinag-usapan ni hubby ito.. pinagplanuhan namin maigi. dami ko muna inayos before i resigned.

and now, more than a year na ako na WAHM. and i tell you. mas stressful yung hands on ka sa mga kids and family mo plus may business kang iniintindi.. as in super multitasking ka sa lahat. walang day-off walang leave kasi ikaw lahat. sabi ko nga kay hubby mas pagod ako now kesa nung nagwork ako kasi at least nakakapagpahinga pa ako nung may corporate job ako. pero despite of all that, I am very much happy with my decision. kasi nga natututukan ko ang mga kids ko. sabi nga mas okay na yun na na-stress ako sa mga kids ko and all the errands kesa naman mga boss ko and corporate work ang makapagstress sakin.

basta carefully plan you options. mahirap pabigla-bigla. dapat meron plan a and plan b and plan c. and i agree kay hubby dapat meron isa sa inyo na working with a stable job. good luck sis!

[sweetsorrow]

hi mga sis. thanks sa mga advice. lalo na ko nagkaroon ng reason to resign, umalis na si yaya#3. 7months palang si baby 3 yaya na halos sumuko sa kanya.

[sweetsorrow]

hi mga sis.. last Friday inuwi namin sa laguna si baby.. super lungkot talaga.. akala ko mapapadali ang lahat, hindi pala. I miss my son.

[sweetsorrow]

hi mga sis just an update. now I started my laundry business mas nakakaloka pala knowing if you don't have the right staff mas malaki ang chance na magfail ang business. sayang kasi wala pang one month pero nakaka2000 na kami a day sa laundry kahit na pasaway mga tao ko paulit ulit ko nalang kinakausap ng maayos ang customer.

right now I'm still working in the corporate world. they issued me memo for being absent 28daya from Nov1 to Jan31.

if I don't have the right staff sayang investment sa shop. gusto ko nalang magfocus sa business. natatakot lang ako na kapag binitawan ko abg trabaho ko lalong madami ang mawala.

[wahmproject]

Sis, i think they're giving you a stern warning when they issued a memo to you stating clearly the # of absences. best scenario, the memo is a reminder for you to improve your performance and attendance. worst scenario, they may be laying the basis for your termination.

Talk to your boss as soon as possible.  Dont burn any bridges. But dont also expect that they will offer a good solution to your dilemma. Syempre business is business pa rin even with the best of bosses. Honestly din Sis, 28 absences out of approx 92 days of work is really a lot. To me, you're lucky you still have work.  You have to decide soonest if you want to keep your work para makabawi ka sa boss mo. 

I was also a hardworking career woman but when I gave birth, nawalan din ako ng focus sa work coz i wanted to spend time with my baby. But we couldnt afford for me to resign bec we were paying house and car loans.  Almost 2 years din tiis and nung nakaluwag ng konti, I decided to resign na rin. 

But you cant go on at work if you're consistently showing poor attendance and performance.  Siguro you just need to try to be a SAHM or WAHM so you'll know if this is what you really want now. Good thing that you have a business to run so pede mong pagkaabalahan and source of income.  You can focus on your business and make it grow instead. 

You have to involve your husband in your decision.  Lalo na he is concerned with a steady flow of income. Be upfront with him on what's happening to you at the workplace (ie. absences, memo). I also suggest that you map out your expenses and see if your husband's salary and business income will cover them. This might help you decide if you will resign or stay at work (and improve performance).

[sweetsorrow]

hi sis wahm thanks a lot for your advice. actually my husband keep on saying na sayang ang sweldo lalo na may baby pa kami nag mag1year old. to be honest wala kaming mapagiiwanan kay baby lalo na kapag walang yaya. wala kaming inlaws na malapit.

kaya ako nagbusiness para magkaextra dahil puro loans din kami. nabenta ko na nga ang pinundar kong kotse dahil simula ng nalipat ako ng location ng office ko we have to move din kasi from Antipolo to Makati hirap ako talaga.

ang hirap ng situation ko na ako lang ng ako ang nagiisip ng paraan. tuwing lalapit ako sa asawa ko wala din siya maisip na paraan.

[caramelli]

^hi sis! nag sahw ako last year, kasi super stressed din ako with my previous job. nung una enjoy ako kasi hindi na ako nag iisip na "papasok nanaman ako bukas", tipong kinakaladkad ko nalang sa sarili ko papasok ng office. pero nung tumagal na, i started to get bored. wala pa kaming baby btw. ang hirap din nung walang sariling pera, si hubby lahat sumagot ng gastusin sa bahay kasi maliit lang naman kita ko sa sidelines ko noon. kaya after 2 months of being sahw, i looked for a job and im glad na natanggap ako. naconsider nyo na ba sis mag rent near your office? baka sakaling makatulong lalo na yung transpo mo yung nakakadrain sayo. kaso additional expense din pero kung icocompute mo yung everyday expense mo for transpo and halos same lang naman kung magrerent kayo, why not diba? less stress na, may chance ka pa to prove yourself sa office. wala ako alam about post dated checks sis. not sure din kung yung loan mo is either ibabawas sa final pay mo or hindi ka pwede umalis unless mabayaran mo sya.

[wahmproject]

^^sis sweetsorrow, mahirap talaga ang situation mo dahil wala din kayong ibang maasahan to take care of your baby (na pedeng tumira with you). and siguro hindi rin makaisip ng ibang paraan ang hubby mo kasi gusto talga nya na magstay ka sa work. para sa kanya walang ibang option kundi yun.

with regards to company loan, alam ko usually, they deduct it from your final pay. if the final pay is not enough, they will require you to pay it in full. if not fully paid then you wont get work clearance. so baka pumayag sa postdated checks keysa wala.

sis, at this point na may loans pa kayo, it would be most practical to stay working.  I assume your baby can stay with the grandparents in laguna so you can visit your baby every weekend. Oo mahirap but think of the benefits din na you can provide better for your baby after two years.

But if you really want to resign, is your husband's salary plus business income enough to cover your monthly expenses? kasi if not, you should have a plan b kung saan huhugutin ang money. for the company loans, try to arrange with the company that you will start paying after one year kasi hindi pa afford ngayon. Pero bago ka magresign, bawi ka ng bonggang bongga sa kanila. Agahan mo pasok, maayos ang trabaho, huwag magabsent, etc.  Important that you dont burn bridges with them bec if in the future you want to go back to work, you may need them as your work reference or you may re-apply there. Like sis caramelli, sometimes a person just needs a long break/vacation to be energized to work again.

For your business, take advantage of the elections this year, maraming kandidato ang magrequire ng T-shirt printing starting this election period (February ata start). Kelangan busy na kayo magsolicit or magmarket for orders. Eto ang best time for you to maximize your business earnings.  Kasi after the May elections, lower ang demand.

[sweetsorrow]

^sis actually that's one of my problem, kung bakit puro nalang ako.. si hubby kailangan pukpukin para lang kumilos o kailangan iremind palagi. kasi simpleng bayaran niya utilities kasi siya mas malapit sa bayad center hindi niya magawa.

ang hirap ng wala talagang maaasahan walang matatapik para sabihin na pagod na ko ikaw naman.

I'm staying in my current job. I have no choice. lahat nalang ako ang gagawa. wala akong maasahan.

[reb_woods072683]

For me sis, better leave your job and be a WAHM. Mahirap talaga yan, but the rewards are geat at the end of the day. Ako din, pa resign na sa work ko this end of the month. Ayoko na kasi kumuha ng yaya kaya mag work at home nalang ako, 2 years old palang baby ko. Kaya naman yan basta manage your time lang. Isa pa lang yang baby mo, paano kung marami na?

[Noylabmay]

sis pakabc ka n lang sa pag aalaga ng sarili mo
if you feel good mas positive ang outlook sa buhay
always feel na you love your family para mawala pagod mo sis

For me ganun n lang  ginagawa ko alaga sa sarili tapos lagi kong hinahug baby ko
Life is not easy kaya be careful sa pag mamanage..
kaya natin to

[PhamLuis23]

maybe you can transfer again to a workplace near where you live? Traveling to and from work can be really stressing. If travel time is 6 hours and above to and fro, that's like half a days work already. If you're driving, that's like getting a 2nd job as a taxi driver. And if you have a business to attend to after work, that can really be tiring. If your team mates are covering for you, that be can stressing in a different way as well because people are normally not happy to do other people's work and you get to feel some of that unhappiness.

Maybe, if you're business is earning ok, you can get a part-time job or a flexible job that will allow you to balance work and business and manage the risk until you're confident with your business.  Some employers are reluctant to hire former wahms for critical positions for various reasons including you probably don't need the money and can resign anytime.

[patriciaheart]

Tama yung mga sis, I suggest resign na. Your hubby's comments come from his lack of knowledge or understanding about how you feel about the situation. It comes off as pagrereklamo or pag iinarte, I had this problem too. My husband was very reluctant that I quit my job sa company because takot sya, takot na takot na mawalan ng pera, kahit na mas malaki ang kinikita nya saakin.

Tapos pag hinde mo mahandle si baby eh ikaw pa ssumbatan na hinde marunong mag alaga when ginagawa mo ang obligation nya. Anyway, I made it clear to him na kahit na aalis ako, may source of income ako na mas mataas pa sa prev job ko (VA at home). Minsan kahit na dinetalye mo, andayn parin yung sama nila sa loob but girl, its their own battle within themselves, the person you need to think about is YOU and your baby. You are missing out on being with the baby, stressed out sa work, burned out sa commute. Then ma hhigblood ka sa pagod at stress, baka masigawa mo pa si hubs at mga staff mo -- edi kasalanan mo pa? Wala nang makakaintindi sa situation mo kund hinde ikaw. Have a graceful exit sa company sis, tingen ko naman sa sipag mo eh if all else fails, pwede mo silang balikan.

[Tinzi88]

Hi! first post, I'am also in the same boat. I never really expected that I'd choose to be a SAHM but after being married and now 15 weeks with my first baby, I just realized how precious time is and how fast it flies.

Ilang years pa po ba loan mo? Maybe you can wait it out. Pray to God to direct and guide you to the right choice po. It's better to not make decisions when we are sad, angry, or depressed.

I know kasi pay may existing loan deducted kaagad un sa final pay mo. Kaya ako, I won't be able to resign for another 2 years or so kasi sa october 2016 pa maturity ng loan ko.