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[TomHansen]

@dreamworks,  sorry to hear na break na kayo pero tama lang yun kung di naman marunong umintindi ang partner mo saan pa pupulutin ang relasyon niyo kung pahabain niyo pa. Baka makatulong > http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,279157.0.html

@chinrosete, minsan lang dumarating yung ganyang opportunity kaya hindi mo masisisi kung gustong i-grab ng bf mo. Bata pa kayo hayaan mo muna siyang ayusin ang career niya at makatulong sa family niya, hindi naman siya pupunta dun para magpasarap kung hindi ang magtrabaho para na rin sa future niyo. You guys need to have a plan kung papaano niyo gagawin yung LDR at higit sa lahat "hanggang kailan". Maganda na nga yung kaso mo isang sem lang hihintayin niyo at mabuti na yun mauna siya para pagdating mo settled na siya at tutulungan ka na lang niya kesa pareho kayong nangangapa pagdating dun.

[Girltalker2]

I'm still studying pa kasi sis. 1 sem na lang. I'm planning to ask him nga if kung pwede bang sabay na lang kami pumunta dun.

Ang bata nyo pa. If he is your first BF, better let him go. Cool off muna kayo. Marami pa syang ma-m-meet, Ikaw din, marami pa. If kayo talaga para sa isa't Isa, magiging kayo parin.

[angelpanda1990]

Sana may makakasagot. Hindi ko talaga alam anong gagawin. Napakacomplicated.

I have a boyfriend with a kid, and i know that he is in contact with the kid's mother. His kid uses his messenger to talk to his mother and twice i found  the ex telling the kid that she loves them both (the kid and my boyfriend). Honestly, i don't know what to do. I am really upset. Do I have the right to be upset? I really just don't get it why the ex has to tell their kid that. I don't get it why she needed to tell her kid that she loves them both, on my boyfriend's messenger. and by the way, the ex girlfriend is already married. May right ba akong magalit? Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba kausapin namin yung ex ng boyfriend ko.

[three8one]

^ POV ko lang, meron kang karapatan ma upset. meron ka din karapatan magalit. pero ang tanong jan, bakit at kanino? as long as hindi nag reresponse si bf sa mga sinasabi ng ex, chill ka lang. wag mag paranoid. pwede sinasabi lang yun ng ex para sa bata. para maramdaman ng bata yung pagmamahal ng magulang. sa murang edad nun mahirap pa ipaliwanag sa kanya kung bakit hiwalay ang magulang nya. by simply saying those words siguro nakakaramdam ng comfort yung bata at hindi magtatanong ng mga why's.. ganun lang yun.

pero para may peace of mind ka din, try to talk to your bf na kamo nababasa mo yung mga messages ng ex nya at hindi ka comfortable doon. para malaman mo lang ano reaction ni bf at magkaroon ka din ng confirmation na hindi madadala si bf sa mga words na yun. at isa pa para aware si bf na may minor issue sayo yung ganun pero wag mo naman i big deal na aabot sa puntong dalawa na kayo ma pipressure ni bf.

[Evolet027]

Sana may makakasagot. Hindi ko talaga alam anong gagawin. Napakacomplicated.

I have a boyfriend with a kid, and i know that he is in contact with the kid's mother. His kid uses his messenger to talk to his mother and twice i found  the ex telling the kid that she loves them both (the kid and my boyfriend). Honestly, i don't know what to do. I am really upset. Do I have the right to be upset? I really just don't get it why the ex has to tell their kid that. I don't get it why she needed to tell her kid that she loves them both, on my boyfriend's messenger. and by the way, the ex girlfriend is already married. May right ba akong magalit? Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba kausapin namin yung ex ng boyfriend ko.

GAME OVER. Lumayo ka na sa Guy bago ka pa masaktan ng todo. Been there done that. or kung ready ka naman ma stress ng bongga, then Go. pero sa experience ko, anng mapapayo ko lang, RUUUNNNN.

[ryunherrera]

^ In a way I agree.  But if you really love him, always know that him having a kid will always be there with you -- and EVERYTHING that comes with that. So his ex, probably his ex's family, communication, sustento..etc.

If you're ready to deal with that and live with that, then by all means, go ahead.

[iamnurse]

Hi Ladies.

It's been awhile. I joined this forum years ago and haven't visited since.

Anyway, I decided to activate it again because I need some advice. I don't know who to run to.

The situation is this. I have a boyfriend and were 11 months into the relationship. Our relationship started like a whirlwind. We become a couple 2 weeks after meeting. Ang kulit nya. I could say nagpadala ako sa sweet talks nya and araw araw nya ako pinupuntahan, 24/7 kami magkausap. Ang sabi ko nun sa kanya, take it slow pero sabi nya wala sya time for that. May factor kasi na babalik sya sa abroad. So ako naman, I wanted to try to, so I agreed. The weeks after that was blissful. Masaya. He had plans and all, gusto nya magpakasal agad. Mga ganun. Ako overwhelmed.

Pagbalik nya abroad, dun nagsimula lahat. He was so demanding, paranoid, impatient, possessive, jealous and makitid utak. In short, kami na lang magkausap lagi at nalimit ako sa social life ko. Bahay-work na lang ako. Lahat pinagseselosan nya, pati di ko pagsagot ng phone kapag tumawag sya at issue. Away=break up sa kanya. Ang dali lang makipag break sa kanya. Binablock nya pa ako. Ako naman because I wanted the relationship to work, I always reach out and lower my pride. To the point of buying a lot of sim cards para lang macontact ko sya.

To make the story short, ganun nagging relationship naming for 8 months. Then umuwi sya. I thought we'll be okay once we're together, but no. Mas Lalo ata nagging malala. I got used to kami lang mag kausap and sakin lang attention nya 24/7. Nung umuwi sya, hinanap ko yun. Pero sya na tong maraming lakad na feeling ko wala na sya time for me. Sabi nya nun pag uwi nya magsasama kami to make up for lost time but it never happened. Add to that, hindi pa nya ko pinapakilala sa family nya. Pag sinabi rin ng family nya na wag umalis or gawin to, di sya makatanggi. He made it clear that between me and his family, pipiliin nya family nya. I feel so disappointed that at age 37 ganyan sya mag isip.

Sabi nya pagod na sya, hindi na sya masaya sa mga away naming and hindi na to ang ginusto nyang buhay. Hindi na rin ako ang gusto nya makasama. I am turning 6 weeks pregnant kaya sinasabi ko sa kanya mag ayos kami. But I too, a part of me pagod na. I feel I've done my best.

What should I do? Help!

[TomHansen]

Hi, well pinakita niya naman sa iyo ugali niya nuon pa pero nagbulagbulagan ka. Ang pangit ng relationship niyo pero nagstick ka pa rin kaya kung ano man ang problema mo ngayon may kasalanan ka rin - nakuha mo pang magpabuntis. Now kapag naaccept mo kasalanan at kamalian mo mas mapapadali kang magdecide kung ano ang makabubuti para sa inyo ng baby mo.

Wag mo nang habulin yung lalaki, bakit pa? gusto mo ba talaga ng ganyang partner yung masama na ugali iiwan ka pa sa ere ngayong buntis ka? Jackpot ba tingin mo sa kanya? Ganyang kawalang kwenta ang gusto mong makasama habang buhay? Mag-isip isip ka sis kasi kung ako tatanungin hindi siya bf/husband material at the more magstay ka sa kanya the more masisira buhay mo, kaya ngayong buntis ka na umayos ka na sa mga decisions mo. Do you have good relationship ba with your family? Sa kanila ka humingi ng tulong wag sa damuho mong nobyo.

[iamnurse]

Thanks for your reply.

The baby is planned. I knew I was ready for the baby, I?m in my early 30s now and at the back of my mind, it was time. I would really time the intimacy around my fertile days and it took a few months before I conceived. The baby has nothing to do with us.

His attitude on the other hand is another thing. I agree that I was at fault. I tolerated his ways and made him feel it was okay for him to take me for granted, for him to treat me this way. I allowed him. I love him so much that I gave my all and depended emotionally on him. There were times that I wanted to leave the relationship but I just couldn?t.

I know I wanted him out of my life. He?s not gonna change and we?re not in good terms anymore. Things went from worse to worst. But in all fairness to him, when it comes to baby, he?s all out - check ups, meds and milk. I just can?t keep the relationship civil. The pain was too much to bear. I want to keep the baby to myself. Frankly speaking, I can raise the baby on my own. But I know he has the right as the father and my baby has the right to have a relationship with him. How do I accept that things between us are over and that the relationship with the baby has just begun? I can?t bear seeing him and calling/contacting me just for the baby.

[J.warner]

Hi, so hes 37 & lives with his family? Nothing wrong with that- pero nung sinabi nya to-
Sabi nya pagod na sya, hindi na sya masaya sa mga away naming and hindi na to ang ginusto nyang buhay. Hindi na rin ako ang gusto nya makasama...
- was it when you told him youre pregnant or even before that?

Based lang sa story mo sis, after 2 weeks of dating naging kayo na, again nothing wrong with that, kung talagang gusto nyo isat isa.. I mean youre both in the right age bakit nyo pa patatagalin diba. I guess my point is sana kinilala mo pa sya and nung naging kayo sana napakilala ka nya sa family nya. Until now ba di mo pa nameet family nya?

Anyways wala na tayo magagawa if ayaw na ng lalaki. Buti na nga lang di pa kayo kasal. If you feel youre ready to have his child on your own, without his support, then go for it. Otherwise you will have to continue communicating with him and if he doesnt love you anymore, masakit lang. Baka mas stressful lang.
if you really think na kaya mo maging single mom, I suggest you dont put his name on the baby?s birth certificate para wala syang habol.